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Change of heart

20 minutes before I leave work and be united with the weekend.. why I decided to blog now?

Because, 'Change of heart' by Jodi Picoult made me..

Here's why I like reading books..

• Because when you read, you forget the world, and it takes you to another place. 
• Because you feel what the characters feel. No more sympathy. But empathy..
• Because you get to create your own images, scenery, character..
• Because you get to be the heroin, with the long gorgeous eyes, beautiful eyes and perfect body
• Because you find the guy of your dreams..and he happen to like you. ;)
• Because when its done, it makes you think.
• Because someday, I wanna write a story. A real one. A true one. 

And...

I hear your voice in my head..
I see you in my dreams..
I feel you in my heart..

Could it be real?
Could it be finally happening?
Or is it just a story..
Like the others??

Maybe, Maybe not..
But two is definitely better than one!

The thing about God..

Yesterday I went for confession. lol. And no, don't worry, I'm not gonna confess to you about my sins, but there was something that the priest said, that made me go like wow!! ;)

So I told him the truth.. that I feel very far from God.. Like you just lose it somewhere along the way. And sometimes you wonder, does he really exist, with all the injustice happening in the world..??

And he told me this, "What do you think made you realize that you're far from Him who created you, in the first place?!!.. or that there is a lof of crap happening here, in the world??!!" .ok, he didnt really say 'crap' ..but something like that..But that is God.. The feeling you have when you see a helpless dog on the road.. or babies in the drain..That is God.. When you feel you need to reach out to the poor and the needy.. That is God.. when you feel like writing about him..like now. That is God!! ... You don't realize it, but then God, works in mysterious ways.. Amazing aint it?! Gosh. I swear I was shivering yesterday ..I could barely speak when he was sharing to me... and something told me, its not really the air cond in church! ;)

And well, why is it that we doubt the existence of God?? ..We don't doubt our parents, do we?? ..of course we dont.. Coz we get to see, touch and feel them. But God?? Nope. And thats where Faith comes in. Faith.. to believe beyond what the eyes can see! ;)

My sister, whenever we're not pulling each other's hair and decided to act like adults told me that she never doubted God.. When you always choose to see the good in everyone, yes even the killer.. you choose to see God too. And there He exist. :) ..And sometimes He speaks through someone else too.. Yesterday he spoke to me through the priest, my sister and uncle Ramesh.

You know what Uncle Ramesh told me?? He said, in whatever you do, be it your work, your relationship, your family, your food, shopping, cleaning.. just put God first. And trust me, you will see the difference..

"Before I formed you in the womb..
I knew you through and through..
I choose you to be mine..
Before you left your mother's side,
I call to you my child..
To be my own.."

So you see, God knew you even before you were formed in your mothers womb! He knows your thoughts and actions.. He who has planned you everything, from the family you are to be born to how will you die.. everything! So if you just trust Him and leave everything in His hands, wont it be a lot more easier??! ..You'd be free, and let him handle it. All you have to do is pray, pray and never stop praying. And it will work! ;)

Ok enough of preaching! Wanna get something to eat!

Cheers!

Because its Christmas! :)

Last night, when I saw "Mr.Fishy"'s comment at my pink chatbox on your right hand.. I was like.. "Awwwwhhhh!!" I really missed blogging.. I miss reading back at what I wrote, and saying, "My gosshh, Juan!! You are soo full of nonsense!!" I missed feeling the keyboard under my fingers, pretending to be a great writer, with lots of words of wisdom..lol..I miss ranting every single lame thing that somehow interest me.. from the dirt in the drain to the imaginary castles on air... hmm Whatever happen to me. And no, I still have no idea who this Mr. Fishy is, but a huge thanks to him, for that one comment that hit right in the middle! ;)

Anyway, Christmas is nearing. Shopping is yet to be done, but well, I've already done my Christmas shopping! ..And this was the fastest. I saw it. I tried it. I bought it. And wallllaaa!!! I like!! ;)

Christmas cleaning. YEAP! ..Hello, have you met my mom? The queen of cleanliness. or wait, the general manager of the universe!!  No cleaning and that's it!! Its like the bomb dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Or worst. which I don't understand sometimes. I mean it is my room. Why can't I keep my things, where I want it to be?? I put my glasses on my computer table. And she explodes. Just like thatt!! Sad huh? lol. She says it has to in the spectacles cover..Which I don't see the purpose, cause I'm gonna use it anyway later. I mean for me to explode, all you need to do is well, probably break my heart. And yeap, I explode..lol.. But don't even think about trying it. Its kinda seasoned and has a brand new 'explosive-proof' suit! ;p But do you see, the degree of both situations put together to cause the explosions??! ..haiz.. moms!! ..They drive you crazy, and still, I'd be so lost without her. ;)

Lol, have to credit a bit. Incase she decides to waste her time here.. ;p ;p hehe

Christmas cookies. Erm.. Nope. Grams does it every year. Sigh. Damm memories. They drive you crazy too,  But they also keep the dead alive.

Death,
You can take tomorrow and the plans we made..
You can take the music that we'll never play..
All the broken dreams.. take everything..
But you can never have yesterday..


You can take the future that we'll never know..
You can take the places that we said we would go..
All the broken dreams..take everything..
Just take it away.. but you can never have yesterday..

And, nope, those are not my words.. its a song.. I changed the subject.. sigh.. And no Johore this year. Christmas in Kajang.. woots!! Kajang, you ready to rock with the awesome-est ppl alive?! ;p ;p ;p

Wowwww.. lol. like so woooowww! ..sorry. But really, to just write out and write.. or wait, I mean type.. lol.. nothing beats it. Nothing beats the feeling to put your thoughts down on a piece of paper and pencil. err.. ish.. ok fine, keyboard and screen. lol..

Alrite, more to come.. I hope so! ;)

Cheers!

She saw him from afar..

Because today I feel like writing something.. something real.

She saw him from a far..

Clothed with rare jewels..

So shinny, so polished..

Something no naked eye could cherish...

She saw him from a far...

With strong and mighty arm..

Like a knight in gold armour

Ready to slash the dragon..

She saw him from a far..

Filled with pride so high..

That mountains are shamed

And the hills are of no match..

She saw him from a far..

A pair of eyes so deep..

That no ocean could fathom..

The very power of drowning with peace..

She saw him from a far..

As beautiful as the sun that glows..

So is the smile of a kind soul..

That melts the innermost of the being..

She saw him from a far..

Just a far.. so far..

That she couldn't reach him..

She couldn't touch him..

She saw him from a far,

Asking God, how is it possible

To create someone so perfect, so flawless..

Yet to good to be true..

She saw him from a far,

A far, is what destiny holds,

In the near future perhaps,

If fate allows dreams to come true.

Taaaa daaaa!! ;))))) lol.. too cheesy rite??!! I know! ..but err.. I was just afraid, cause my words are rusting already. ;( ..sigh. anyway.. have a great day everyone!: )

Cheers! :)

Last things..

You thought you'll never hear from me again, didn't you?? That I had died, burried in satin, laid on a bed of roses, sunk in a river, sent away with the words of a love song. ;) ..lol.. sorry. That song is stuck in my head..since forever. And if you read the lyrics carefully, it caries a deep meaning. ;D

Oh well, I'm at work and I'm bored. And honestly, I have no time to blog. Even if I'm did, I'm either too tired to crap..or ran out words. Yes, tell me about it. Working life sucks. I wanna go back to doing assignment!! ..;p

Anyway, lets make fill up this place here..

• Last food: That spicy keropok. Forgot the name. ;(
• Last drink: Water
• Last song you listened : Today was a fairy tale - Taylor Swift ..lol. nope its not a fairytale.
• Last song you sang out laud : If I die young ;))))) ..and no, dont even think about asking me to sing.. I'll throw up. for real! ;((
• Last movie watched : ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS 3!!!! yes.. I had free complimentary tickets from astro!! ..and it was AWESOME! ..the best of 3! Go watch it! ;)))
• Last article typed: Co-op report! ;(( tak habis-habis! ;(
• Last work done: Scanned a wedding card and email it to my colleague
• Last hairstyle done : Horse tail with crocodile clip .. wow its an animal's world!
• Last clothes worn : Pink blouse, black 3/4 jeans, and black overcoat. ;) ..oh yesh! hawt as usual!! ;p ;p ;p
• Last book read : Picture Perfect ~Jodi Picoult...not that bad.
• Last game played : errrm.. I forgot!! ;(((
• Last time you laughed : erm.. while reading this.. : "In 50 years time, when all the kids using facebook have grown old.. will it be changed to 'wrinklebook'???? hehehehe
• Last time you cried : Last night..
• Last person who made you cry : My sister ;(
• Last person who made you laugh : erm.. Suren..
• Last time you panicked : This morning, when I missed the bus! ;((
• Last person who saved your day : My sister! ;)
• Last person who kissed you : Saha
• Last person who hugged you : Saha
• Last person you texted : Suren
• Last person you talked to : Kak Elly
• Last person you talked to on the phone: Suren..
• Last person you faught with : My sister
• Last time you decided you were lifeless: NOW!! ;((((

 Siiiggh.. ok done.. really. I;m planning to start a new blog.. this blog is old!! ;(( Alright then will update you whats next!!

The thing about love.

You know what I like most about train rides?? ;)) ...its the part where you watch from the window.. how the train rails..literally join together and become one! ... Its even more exciting when the train goes fast.. the joining becomes very smooth! ;))

Yes of course, knowing how my mind works.. I connected it with something.... If you're thinking about L.O.V.E ..then congrats.. you know me pretty well. ;p

Hmm.. love..
Since I've been so-called secretive about my 'love' life... ceeh waahh.. As if there's so much going on in the first place. Its almost non-existent, sadly. lol.. 

I'm not sure if at all I am destined to find one.

But I wish too someday.

Because beneath all this insanity I experience..

I wish to stare into your eyes and get lost in it..
I wish that the spaces between my finger is filled with yours..
I wish to receive texts that gives me shivers down my spine..
I wish to walk down the street, have you by my side.. and show off to everyone.
I wish to have the stupid fights and imagine not having you in my life..
I wish to sit on the couch and have you cuddle me
I wish to have endless conversation on the phone..about nothing at all.
I wish to cry my heart out and have you hug me and say everything will be alright..
I wish to your babies someday..
I wish that this would last..

LOL!! ..ish. jiwangnyerrr..  You see what happens when you give me free time with a comp. I become a love struck dumb teen. ;(( only a tiny problem. Now if you can find me the "you" in the above poem.. my gosh.. you saved me a whole lots of other emo-ish and embarrassing moments. hehe. And yes its the "you" non-existent... lol. 

But then you wanna know a secret?! ..The thing about love.. you don't go and search for it. It comes to you. When the time is right.. it comes. When you least expect it..it comes. Without a warning, it comes ;)) .. And when it hits you.. it hits you fast..and hard. And its up to you.. whether you choose to fall deeper.. or to get up from that fall. Either way.. you'll learn something. ;)