the will of God

you know..last night..why the whole day.. I thought of terminating my blog.. yeah..dumb me!!.. but yes..it did cross my mind.. why?? because it did me more harm than good..like..

1. It made someone so-call fall in love with me.. erm.. that's not something bad..but when they leave..that's where the question arises..
2. It took away my study time..my assignment time..made me stay up late night..
3. My family thinks..me blogging is NONSENSE!!

so yeah..they were more cons compared to the pros.. but then this morning..I received an e-mail from someone.. and maybe..just maybe..for once in my lifetime.. i might be doing something I like..that seems RIGHT!! ..impressive huh.. just when you think of giving up on something..or on someone.. something else comes along the way and makes you think TWICE!! ..you think it's coincidence.. nah.. why??..because.. "THE WILL OF GOD WILL NEVER TAKE YOU WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD WILL NEVER PROTECT YOU!!"

what does it mean?? it's pretty simple.. it means.. THOUGH IT DIDN'T GO THE WAY YOU WANTED IT TO..YOU CAN STILL SMILE AND LAUGH!! ..for it's all been taken care off!!..=)

Anyway..this week's sermon caught my mind.. It was about marriage..and divorce.. why is it couple's tend to divorce..and can't see each as before..?? I mean..it was like heaven..before they got married..and after marriage..it should be paradise..they should be more stronger.. but instead they part..

and when asked..how did all all this happen??..easy..they put the blame on GOD!! ..lol.."God doesn't want us to be together..we're just not meant to be..=("

I've attended like..i dont know..close to 50 weddings this year..lol..and after they tie the knot..the priest says.."WHAT GOD HAS UNITED, MAN MUST NOT DIVIDE!" ..so what exactly is my point is that..it's not God who divides..but man himself..you seperate cause you want it that way!!..as simple as that..and there's no such thing..as we're not meant to be..or what-so-ever crap.. you like someone.. go ahead!!..remember THE WILL OF GOD WILL NEVER TAKE YOU WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD WILL NEVER PROTECT YOU!!..he'll never allow you to fall in love..without any reason.. yeah you might get hurt..and stuff..but there'e is a reason..and i think I've found mine..=) .make sense??..hope it does..hehe..pity God huh??..for no reason HE has to take the blame..

anyway gues what??..i got a job!..lol..for 2 weeks..in the church tuition centre..and yeah..we do have a centre..for the kids who can't afford...i was officially employed today..=) ..and i got up at 8.30..hehe..attended a funeral mass at..lol..ok..i dont know why i said..

hmm..take care..have a nice day..=)

if your heart's not in it..

If your heart's not in it..for real..
Please don't try to fake..what you don't feel..
If loves already gone..
It's not fair to lead me on..
Cause I would give my whole world..for you..
Everything you ask of me..I'll do..
But I won't ask you to stay..
I rather walkaway..
If your heart's not in it..

so-called questions

actually...i have a lot..to blog...like really..lot..lol..but this caught my eyes first!!..=p

Did you stand on your tippy-toes when you had your last hug with the opposite sex?
*yup..the dude was damm tall k..=p

Do you like the same person you did a month ago?
*of cause..what you think i am??..hehe

Who were you with last night?
*..you don't wanna know..and i'm not telling you either!!..=p

Do you ever think about the past?
*..who doesnt??

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
*..yeah..why not??..

Last night you felt?
*..total shity!!...still cant believe i did tat!!..arrgghh

What's your favorite thing to do when you're bored?
*..blog..=)

Do you think the person you like, likes you back?
*...hahaha..no..and its its killing me..grrrr

Who are the last 5 text messages from in your inbox?
*...err...lazyla..my mobile is on the dining..hehehe..but it should be cynla..lol

In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
*...pure fun!!

Are all of your friends virgins?
*..err..not sure..haha

What're you wearing right now?
*pj's..hehe..crap!..y u wanna know anyway??..hehe

When's the last time you cried?
*..last last friday..

Would you rather sing or dance in front of 100,000 people?
*..sing..i gues..*damm..dont remind me!!*

Would it be more likely of you to fail Science or Math?
*..well..i kinda like maths..should be science..

Are you a forgiving person?
* i guess..

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
*..if i tell you..then i'd have to kill you..lol..but on 2nd thought..i dont think there's anyone..

Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue ring?
*..eehhwww..no.. what if its rusty??..gross..

Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
*..yup!!

Do you believe your ex cares about you?
*..hmm..i cant tell..but i dont think so..

Kill the spider or let it out?
*..let it go..hehe..it needs a life..

Are you short?
*..im just not tall..

Last people you rode in a car with?
*..parents..

Are you thinking about anyone?
* always..

Are you cheating on someone right now?
* err..i wish i was..lol..create some scandal..hehe

Do you like fish?
*..err..haha..i guess..does it matter??..lol

Person you have feelings for shows up at your house, you say?
*speechless...or probably faint..lol

Last person you talked on the phone with?
*..erm..grandma!!

Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now?
*DUH!!..like my cousin says..forever..and ever..and ever..and ever..lol

Do you have siblings over the age of 21?
*yeah..a miserable..sis

Will this weekend be a good one?
*erm...maybe..maybe not..

Will tomorrow be better than today?
*..sometimes..i wish..tomorrow never came..and yesterday..stayed..hmm..cause yesterday's..are the part..where you can't have back...=(

What do you currently hear right now?
*..angel of mine..

What was the last thing to go into your mouth?
*..water..

Does anyone hate you?
*..i hope not..

Relationships or one night stands?
* marriage??..lol..relationships..

Whats something you want really bad right now?
*..i dont know.. i thought i had it all..but maybe not..

Do you usually tell people when you're mad at them?
*..nope..i just hope..the feeling disappears..

Honestly, how is your heart lately?
*..hahhaahhaha..kinda screwed up..i think..

Do you miss anyone?
*..uh huh..

What is stressing you out most right now?
*..the facebook photo uploader..is getting into my last nerve..argh..

Have you ever been called a tease?
*..lol..i guess..

Are you waiting for a phone call?
*..no..

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up?
*...err..please dont remind me of throwing up...

Can you open a beer bottle with a body part other than your hand?
*..lol..no//

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed?
* ..the car..

If an ex said they hated you, you say?
*..err..good for you..=p

Don't those cute little couples just make you sick?
*..hehe..wish i had someone too..

Who knows a big secret about you?
*..cyn..sahdev..stal..sis..

You've locked yourself outside and no-one will be home for a few hours, you?
*..jump in..and grab the key..hehe..

What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead?
*..thats really sweet..perhaps..my lips would have been better..=p

What do you usually do right when you wake up?
*..go back to sleep..

Are you looking forward to anything?
*..youth camp!!

How late did you stay up last night?
12.30 am..extreme tiredness..

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
*..sigh..i dont even wanna think of it..

Do you care if people talk badly about you?
*..i would lie..if i say..no..maybe a lil..

Do you truly hate anyone?
*..i wish i could..grrr..

Would you ever get a tattoo?
*..yeah..my fantasy..lol

Do you know the last person you were in a car with other than family?
*..yup...rina's car..ON THE WAY TO LAGOON!!

Who was the last person you went to the mall with?
..saha, sis, rina and helena..

Have you kissed someone who smokes weed?
* eehhww..NEVER!!

In the past 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
yea!!..

,,er..that's it??..cehh..
anyway..take care..

they call it LOVE

I havent been blogging in a while..hehe..i mean for someone like me..it's like i have to blog every hour..lol..actually i've been saving up for thing..and btw..the girl's not falling in love.. she just finds the feeling of love..simply amazing.. so let's start with the core of all love that is..God..=)
it's a bit messy..though..the arrangement of the pics..=(

and lastly..from the girl itself..

"I love you..
though it came tumbling down..
though they say it's not worth it..
for you make my heart beat..
you make me smile..though I'm pain..
you leave me breathless..every time I look in your eyes..
I'm sorry..I just can't stop loving you.."

No air..

suddenly this song came to mind..hmmm..

NO AIR~Jordin sparks feat Chris Brown..

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air..

If I should die before I wake..
It's 'cause you took my breath away..
Losing you is like..
living in a world with no air..
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave..
My heart won't move, it's incomplete..
If there was a way, that I can make you understand..

But how do you expect me..??
to live alone with just me..
'Cause my world revolves around you..
It's so hard for me to breathe..

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air..
Can't live, can't breathe with no air..
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there..
It's no air, no air..
Got me out here in the water so deep..
Tell me how you gonna' be without me..
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe..
It's no air, no air..

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew..
Right off the ground to float to you..
There's no gravity to hold me down for real..
But somehow I'm still alive inside..
You took my breath, but I survived..
I don't know how, but I don't even care..

So how do you expect me..??
to live alone with just me..
'Cause my world revolves around you..
It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air..
Can't live, can't breathe with no air..
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there..
It's no air, no air..
Got me out here in the water so deep..
Tell me how you gonna' be without me..
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe..
It's no air, no air

i like this as well..=)

MARDI GRAS!!

weeeee!!...it was awesome!!...lol..i repeat yesterday was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!! ..hehehe... where was i??..in MARDI GRAS!! ..in 1 utama!!... for those who are place illeterate..it's a club..=p and I, Juan Margrita...am officially no more a clubbing virgin..hehehe.. yup!!,,I FINALLY WENT CLUBBING!!!..

well, i actually got invited last week Thursday..by someone..=p ..but none of my friends were going..plus didn't have transport and such..hehe..and then..this week.. saha's band is performing..and i got invited also..by the same person..hehe..i told my mom..and miraculously she said YES!! ..and i told her...will be back late..don't wait up for me!..lol..she said.."just make sure they send you back right at the door step!" ..hehe..weeeee...

and so in the car..was rina, helena, jeeven, and nesh.. tracy and her bf will be arriving separately...but as usual..the soon we arrived there..saha and his group just finish presenting..lol.. i was damm DISAPPOINTED!! ..sigh.. but at least..that 'someones' band hasn't performed yet la..hehe..

and guess what??..lol..i drank!!..yeah literally DRANK!! ...i mean..one whole bottle.. chill la..its the small bottle.. and i had enough..hehe..nolar..I KNOW MY LIMIT!!..don't wanna go over it..and break my principles..ceeehh wahh.. look who's talking!..hehe..

and there's this girl..who came out and did belly dancing..walau wei..you should have seen the look on every guys face..hahaha..its like..there were glued!!..but it was pretty interesting la..she was damm flexible.. and there was some guys..who did pole dancing as well..lol.. yeah..you can imagine..lol

anyway after he performed..we were talkingla..hehe and he doesnt drink.. hmm..Impressive!!..lol..and these people all started la.."fuyohh...whats happening and crapla.." hehe..well anyway come back to the earth girl!..you aint gonna get yourself involve in this crap again k!! ..haven't your learned you lesson?!?! ...argh..

anyway..my first so called..bf was there as well.. suddenly pulled my hand to the dance floor..lol.. thank goodness...the rest followed as well...and we were dancing all night!!.. wow.. it felt sooo good to let it all out!!..hehehe.. i had no choice but to dance with my ex..thank goodness saha was there also..lol.. but it was fun la!!..

reached home at round 2am...everyone was asleep..hehe..had to tip toe in quietly like a mouse..lol..didnt wanna disturb them la..hehe..

wanna do it again??..YEAH!! ..hehehehe.. with the right people of cause.. hehe.. =)

so yeah..that was my first clubbing experience...of cause we took loads of pics..but have to wait..for them to upload first..=)

take care..god bless..

movie marathon

I'm sooo bored..that I'm actually blogging again..lol..ok that's not something new..

I'm just trying to figure out..how in the world to play SORORITY LIFE!! ..hmm..i remember when i was still schooling..i was like damm addicted to 'the sims'.. I'll be glued to the computer..hehe..day and night.. never got bored.. then my friend thought me how to cheat..hehe.. that was the BOMB!!..so i had all the money in the world..my house was sooo big.. i didn't have to work.. I bought every luxury thing that caught my eyes.. I can do anything..and then I realize one thing.. how come we're not allowed to get married there?..and have kids?..lol.. all i could was FLIRT!! ..that also..just needed to click the "flirt" button.. lol.. haha..well, if that's what you call life..i think i'll pass..=)

see..i'm crapping again.. sigh..

Anyway..I'm kinda having my own movie marathon at home..hehe..i finished watching mulan last night.. this afternoon i watched.."a Cinderella story.." ...and i just finish watching THE DARK NIGHT!! ..and i think HEATH LEDGER ROCKS!! ..i mean he's the first VILLAIN that really got me MESMERIZED!! lol...his acting wei!! ..is simply WOW!! so real..so natural ..and it's not like im outdated k..i know the movie is pretty old..i remember going to Leisure Mall to watch it.. i felt like watching it again..hehe..

I'm waiting for 'the guardian' to be downloaded..hehe..heard..Kevin Costner..is pretty good..and i like the story line.. From what i heard..the dude saves strangers.. but he aint wearing any masks..like batman or spider man.. that's what that caught my attention..

hmmm..what else..oh yeah..i downloaded..the Spanish version of MULAN 2!!..wasted my time..and energy..argh..anyway..any idea on any other good movie??..but i'm kinda bored with chick flicks!..i want ACTION and THRILL!! ..hehe..ok..maybe a little romance..=p

and i have another 2 weeks to put up with..

geee..why cant i stop complaining??!!..lol..when I'm in college..i complain why can't i get holidays??..and now..its otherwise!!..Juan be grateful!!

which reminds me of this song.. I saw it once in OPRAH..and i think its brilliant!! ..hehe..called there's hope..by India Arie

here's part of it..

There's hope
It doesn't cost a thing to smile
You don't have to pay to laugh
You better thank God for that

good nitez!!..god bless..

p/s i cant wait for tonite!!..weeeeeee