The way you make me feel..

If only you knew.. the way you make me feel.. is of no words.. is not a lie.. is something I told myself NOT to indulge in.. but of course the heart is a bit weird.. its opposes the mind.. they cannot work along.. and that's why I know I shouldn't.. but I do.. I did.. and I will..

Aaahh..Ronan Keating you touched my heart again..with this song!!

The way you make me feel..

Couldn't feel much better..
Than the way I feel tonight..
Feel like I could live forever...
Feel like I could fly..
When I thought I'd got it wrong, yeah..
You somehow make things right

That's the way you make me feel..
Better than I've ever known it..
Better than it's ever been..
I can't seem to control it...no..
The way you make me feel..
Like the sun coming up in the morning..
Like holding the world in your hands..
In a way I could never imagine..
The way you make me feel

I couldn't feel much better
Than when I'm here with you
You make everything seem so easy
I'm telling you the truth..
You never try to please me
But somehow you always do

That's the way you make me feel..
Better than I've ever known it..
Better than it's ever been..
I can't seem to control it...no..
The way you make me feel..
Like the sun coming up in the morning..
Like holding the world in your hands..
In a way I could never imagine..
The way you make me feel

The simple things you do to me
Simple things you say
I sometimes can't believe
That it's for real

That's the way you make me feel..
Better than I've ever known it..
Better than it's ever been..
I can't seem to control it...no..
The way you make me feel..
Like the sun coming up in the morning..
Like holding the world in your hands..
In a way I could never imagine..
The way you make me feel

Thats the way you make me feel..sigh..

Have a nice day!!..=)

last thing on my mind

Was suppose to blog last nite.. but I lost my mood..and my eyes weighed a tonne!!..lol.. anyway..my butterfly story is actually kinda lame..

2 days back I took the 6.12am train to college.. The moment I entered the train..I was so excited to get a seat!!..hehehe..I unfolded my sun paper..guess what came out??..LOL..a LIGHT GREEN WHITE BUTTERFLY!!!.. I was soo shocked..that I was finding it hard to close back my mouth.. the guy next to me stared.. like I just took out a gun or something.. and then the whole row stared at me as well... I was like.."its not my fault that the butterfly chose me!!" ..lol..but i pity the butterfly..course the morning train is always very COLD!! ..I could just freeze to death in there.. sighhh...poor lil butterfly..hope it finds away out..=(

But don't you think butterflies are amazing creatures??..yeah they might be a little small.. but from an ugly catterpillar who lives in a cacoon and to be transformed into something so very beautiful and to soar on wings up high..is simply amazing!!!...=)

Anyway I think I fall in love quite easily..lol.. really.. like yesterday we went to bowling..and there's this guy.. oh my... I was drooling..hehe no!! not cause he's cute or what.. but because he got skills.. every single throw.. is either a STRIKE or a SPARE!! ..my eyes was glued to him. The way he moves his legs and hands..is like WOW!! ..then when he left..i started missing him..lol.. but he knows we were checking him out la.. guess he was showing off as well..lol.. ok I didnt literally fall in love.. was like totally admiring him!!..hehehe

But seriously.. its not that hard to make me fall in love.. Just come by with your guitar..and I can be yours any moment..lol.. Like for now.. I have something for Ronan Keating.. I always have something for guys with guitar..=) and you know songs and lyrics these days..can be sooo..erm.. sooo lame.. doesnt hold any meaning.. sigh.. its promoting sex..not love!!..=( Thats why I hold on to the 90's artists!!..perfect voice, perfect words..perfect tune!!..like bryan adams and ronan keating!!

Like this song.. he apologizes..because she was standing right there all along!!..and still she was the last thing on his mind.. I find it daymm sweet!!.. lol...sorry la.. dont why I'm touched by this kinda songs..=)

Four o’clock in the morning
My mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I’m sure you tried to talk it through

Now I say it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives
So, I wanna tell you I’m sorry
Baby, I can’t find the words

But, if I could
Than you know I would, yeah

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all, right there, before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now..
you were the last thing on my mind..

You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me

Now, I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)
Staring back is a man I used to be with you

How I longed for you

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all,right ther,e before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now..
you were the last thing on my mind..

Girl I’m sorry I was wrong
Couldn’t be there, should have been so strong
So, I’m sorry

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all, right there, before my eyes, yeah
Girl I’m sorry now,
you were the last thing on my mind...

So sweet right??..lol.. anyway I have to go now.. wanna watch P/S I LOVE YOU!!..

from Ucsi ict

"I give you my word..I give you my heart.. This is a battle we've won.. and with this vow.. forever now has begun...."

Guess where am I blogging from??..hehehehe..from UCSI's ICT!!!.. for the first time..woohoo!! I remember last year in UTAR..whenever I had my free time, you're sure to find me in the computer lab..hehe..blogging mostly..and facebooking...till my dear friends got fedup with me..I still hear their voices ringing in my head.. "Juann...you're not fed up with blogging ar??!!" ..hehehe..nope.. I don't know why..

Anyway..I was suppose to post this yesterday.. but well was caught up studying for my MALAYSIAN STUDIES FINALS!!...which I just finished a while ago..hehe..how I did it??.. hmm.. it was rather interesting.. I was playing ini-mini-myni-mo with my MCQ's ..while my essay...hehehe.. I remembered what I studied!!..lol..a bit too excited.. I mean its been ages la..since I got the hang of studying..and now, its not that i a nerd..but yeah maybe my brains is finally working like cyn said.."Juan, don't burn your studies cause of some nutcase!!" ..lol

K k..pinky would chase me with a hammer if I dont meet her NOW!!.. and actually I wanted to say something about BUTTERFLIES!!..guess I do it later at night!

ttyl..

Sometimes I can be weird..

"I'm like a shooting star..I've come so far..I can't go back.. to where I used to be.."

I feel so weird..no not because I'm a shooting star lol....I'm so far from being one..=( ..I'm not even a star..perhaps a stone.. yes a stone.. no wait..A SHELL!!..hehe.. a shell..so that I can protect something..well at least I'm able to make myself useful..but sometimes being useful can be difficult as well.. cause when you're done..you're not needed anymore..you're up for exhibition..left all alone on the shelf..=(

Ok that came up randomly...like I said..I fell weird.. sigh.. Its just that.. I can't find the right words.. and even if I did..I dont think I wanna write it down here..

Sometimes I don't know why I do the things I do..
Sometimes I don't know why I say what I say..
Sometimes I know I'm being paranoid..
Sometimes I know that its important to say what I feel..
Sometimes I feel its all a nightmare and I'm in it for life..
Sometimes I realize I'm driving you crazy with all my nonsense..
Sometimes I like being weird..being normal is good..but its ordinary..nothing special..=)
Sometimes when I'm alone..I just think of you..and I don't feel so alone anymore..
Sometimes I miss you like crazy..but I don't think you do..so I keep it to myself..
Sometimes I know you don't need me..but I'll keep on smilling..and stand by your side..
Sometimes I cry..when its too hard to hold on..
Sometimes I just wish..you were here with me..
Sometimes I wonder why I write these stuffs..

Lol..I have the answer for the last one.. I write..so that someday I'll look at this and laugh.. or maybe I was hoping that you would read it..=)

Too much for a title..

"We could be a beautiful miracle..instead of just invisible"...

Guess who manage to create an A3 BOX all by herself??!!.. heheheheeh.. ME!! ME!! ME!!..lol.. ooppss.. ok.. I'll rephrase that.. Today, I manage to combine two A4 boxes so that it'll become an A3 box!!... no big deal??!.. please.. have you ever accidently spilled the damm ELEPHANT GLUE on your fingers that you cant tear them apart and still manage to put the boxes together??.. hehe.. nope.. its not easy!!..when you're me..

Ok enough of my victory today..
Had a pretty bad today.. ok A REAL BAD DAY!! I made up my mind to write an official letter to the newspapers about KTM services!!.. seriously I was on the verge of murdering someone.. you'd never wanna imagine.. I'll give you an example.. while waiting for the delayed train.. I saw a couple of tourist..I was THAT CLOSE..to tell them.."why in the world did you choose to come to MALAYSIA??!! ..Really, I'm truly sorry for myself.. and now I'm sorry for you guys too.." ...sigh.. but yeah.. I was feeling soo sorry for them..SUCH A SHAME!! ..of cause I didn't have the guts to tell it to them...

The series of bad events today..
Firstly, its a bad day for us to decide to wear PUNJABI COSTUME.. ok thats not KTM's fault.. but yeah.. I think I broke all my sweat gland this morning while waiting for the DELAYED TRAIN!!..
Secondly, through out my whole life in UCSI..which is about 3 months ago..hehe.. I'VE NEVER.. i repeat, NEVER EVEN BEEN LATE for MASS COM CLASS!! *thanks to saha!!..=D* ..today..of all the days.. where my group is the FIRST to present after 2 cancellations..of all the days where Saha has to sprain his ankle.. of all the days where we decide to wear punjabi costume.. of all the days where the damm train got delayed.. Oh my.. what are the odds right??..that it all happened on the same day??..

But still.. after complaining to GOD for like the 100th time.. I took a cab and wasted 5 BUCKS..and reached about 10 mins late only.. weeee!!..PRAISE GOD!! ..He tests us..and puts us in a situation where everything is not RIGHT!! ..we think "aah..thats it.. I can't make it!!" but at the same time..He gives us hope.. He wants us to trust.. that no matter how bad the situation is.. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK!! You can make it..if you believe..

Hmmm... its the exam week.. I'm barely surviving.. half dead.. why does it has to happen at the same time??.. sigh..

This song is on my mind..

If your hearts not in it for real..
Please dont try to fake what you don't feel..
If loves already gone..
Its not fair to lead me on..
Cause I would give my world for you..
Anything you ask of me..I'll do
But I won't ask you to stay..
I'd rather walkaway..
If your hearts not in it..

I shall go back to my notes..and figuring a way to get my fingers to normal..=)

Tied together with a smile..='(

"Baby..baby..baby ohh.. thought you'd always be mine!!.."

Gosh..My blog is dying away..and I think pinky is taking over my place..hehe.. you can check out hers!!..she started blogging everyday too... awwwh.. must be the inspiration from me!!..hehehe check it out here..

There's a lot of things I wanna blog about...sigh...

Easter was good..
I wasted my 9 bucks on a hairstyle that didn't make any difference!!..grrrr..
I accidentally dropped wax on my favorite pink dress with diamonds..='(
I was scheduled to cantor for Easter vigil..the one after the eight reading..and the crowd was extra large..community mass..and its HFC!!..about 1000+ I can say..and I was representing the English Liturgy..crap crap!!.. which I still don't see why they want me in as I have embarrassed myself pretty much just by cantoring.. trust me I think I could write a whole book about the times where I almost wanted transferred to another parish..yup yup..it was THAT bad!!

But still..COURAGE is the word Constance Yuen whispered to me two years back when I had my major humiliation..and it stuck in my head till today..=) I started panicking as usual.. and suddenly remembered BRENDAN's composed song.. "LET GO AND LET ME IN" ..that's what I did.. let go of everything and begin to TRUST!!..not myself..but GOD!!..and I told Him, its YOUR WORDS Lord,.. YOU WANT YOUR PEOPLE TO HEAR YOU.. SO SPEAK THROUGH ME WITH THIS VOICE OF YOURS!!.. and I laid everything at the foot of the cross.. and I realize.. NO.. I'm not representing the ENGLISH LITURGY.. everyone of us is REPRESENTING GOD..!! and I cantored.. It wasn't me who sang but HIM!!.. I can tell you that..=)

It took more that 4 hours.. but pheeww.. I think I wished "happy Easter" to the whole church.. It felt soooo good going around hugging each other.. and the part I feared the most..has indeed occurred..=(

You have this friend.. and.. you treasure his friendship.. you never wanna loose a friend like him..but that's it just FRIENDS!!..nothing more..nothing less but what happens when he asks you out??.. sigh.. not to mention the part where he messages in my inbox none stop!! sigh.. how do you say 'no' without hurting??..clearly I know the feeling of rejection.. would I wanna put others.. in the shoes that I feared the most as well??..sigh..

Well and what do I do with the feelings I have now.. for the other "individual" hehe.. yeah.. I know.. I never learn my lessons dont I??.. She knows its NOT gonna work out.. and yet she GOES all out for it!!..why me?? why him?? and now its even worse than the first time.. sigh.. when am I gonna learn??..or will I ever??

Why was I born as a girl??.. Why is it very hard for me to do and say as I like..without any boundaries?? Why is it very important for me to stick to one??.. Why do I care about their feelings..but they don't give a damm bout mine??.. sigh.. but its ok..COURAGE!! this word shall be my friend forever!!..and I still have JESUS with me, what else I need??.. and with that.. I end my post..=)

The last paragraph doesnt make sense.. you wouldn't get it.. cause I didnt get it either..hehe.. maybe this song.. will give you a picture.. I dislike the first verse..hence I'll skip it..=)

Tied together with a smile..by Taylor Swift..

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted..
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change..
Hoping it will end up in his pocket..
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain..
Oh, cause it's not his price to pay..
Not his price to pay...

Hold on, baby, you're losing it..
The water's high, you're jumping into it..
And letting go... and no one knows..
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone..
That you might not be the golden one..
And you're tied together with a smile..
But you're coming undone..

Still don't get it??..hehehehe... then its just me I guess...=(

Happy Easter again!! have a nice week!!..I know I wont

because I dont deserve it..

"The silence isn't so bad.. till I look at my hand and feel so sad..cause the spaces between my hand are where yours fit perfectly.."

Vanilla twilight.. I like!! ..yes I like TWILIGHT.. love vanilla too.. and when you put them together its awesome!!..hehehee

Ok thats so Lame..so let's see what's in store for today.. I skipped uni..hehe..thought of studying but THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE just finished downloading..hehe..i know, you're thinking what I'm thinking rite??..so let's make it happen..=D

and I forgot it was APRIL FOOL's!!.. SHEESShh... missed all fooling people with lame jokes.. haiz..its ok its ok..hope I'm blessed enough to catch is again next year..=)

Yesterday was the king of all dramatic days..let me simplify it..=)

• Wore formal..for my wonderful presentation that got postponed..AGAIN!! and we're talking about skirt and blouse!!..which you dont get to see me in it often!!..haizz
  
• Heading back home..pinky's car smartly ran out of fuel..can't even start.. so walked all the way to the petrol station to get some...
• To make it even better..it was RAINING!!..heheh.. yeah walking in the rain with my skirt and an over sized flat shoes with my SILK blouse.. can be very interesting..hehehe
• By the time I reached the KTM station..I accidentally left my umbrella with SUDHA..hoping that the rain would stop when I reach kajang..
• Unfortunately whatever I wish..will never happen.. hmm..maybe I should wish for something I don't want..then the opposite will happen..lol.. nonsense..
• I reached kajang..and the rain only got heavier..sigh..and I met him..
• Him is the one who had a huge crush on me last year..and might still be waiting..sigh.. and no..its not something good.. because I dont deserve it..=( *I dont deserve so many things in this world..* haizzz..
• Ok quit emo-ing..hehe..I asked my mom to go back home..since she already waited for me half an hour..I don't mind taking the bus home..in my formal clothes..in the rain without my umbrella..lol
• So there I was..standing in bus stop..envying all those with umbrella.. all those who has a ride back home..
• for 30 minutes..I stood..no sign of the damm bus..
• Mom insisted on fetching..so.. I was like alrite..'dont say i didnt warm you about the jam here..'
• By the time she came..it was 15 minutes to 7..
• Got in the car..a minute later.."Ma, is something wrong with my eyes..or is there smoke coming out from the car??"
• Ma panicked there and there...like she saw a ghost or something ..I said chill chill..this one all small matter...*like some big time mechanic..* lol ..nolar..I mean in this kinda situation, panicking never helped..and its wise for one to be calm if your partner is going crazy.. yeah..speaking from experience..hehe
  
• So off the engine and waited at KTM ..for another 30 mins for my dad..casually talking to my mom about life..

Juan: Ma!!...nice or not my hair..when its wet??..hehe
Mom: Yes yes..
Juan: Nonsense!!
Mom: ..what nonsense??!!
Juan: Your not even looking at it!!..grrrr

• Ok that wasnt about life.. but it was part of it la..
• So dad came..made some noise..i patiently sat in car..wouldnt be much of a help in my skirt and the rain..hehe
• Something was wrong with the radiator..i guessed..
• Went back home..contemplating what a GREAT DAY I HAD!!..

hehee..really it was.. better compared to the boring adventures I had..hehehe

I might be away from 'blogging' for a couple of days.. part of my sacrifice.. blogging, facebooking and msn..

So incase I'm not able to say it..I'll say it now.. HAPPY EASTER PEEPS!!..=)