Sometimes you simply got to believe..

That's weird... I lost my blogging mood again..=((

Though I have a lot to blog about..Especially about my catechism students.. Gosh.. They can be real pest sometimes!!.. But still, I learned a lot from them..

I was teaching about using their talents..that they shouldn't use their talents for wrong thing.. and about how some uses their music talent to worship satan and stuff.. and then Ann, the 11 year old who I wished I was just like her at that age cause she was never afraid of asking, questioned me.. "Teacher, why doesn't God do anything to stop it??.. He is God..He can punish them, rite.."

Samuel.. the little sarawakian boy, who never stopped talking replied her..."Because He is God!..He doesn't punish!!"...

I was kinda amazed.. When I was 11, I literally had diamonds in my mouth.. I wouldn't breathe a word, unless I was asked too!..yeahh..I was very shy..still am..=).. These kids are beyond words!!..

Anyway there's no wrong in that answer.. He doesn't punish..just teaches us lesson.. But I did tell them the only answer I had in mind.. "Perhaps its because, He wants to give them another chance to repent..to come back.."

Ian, the smartest boy in class asked.."But teacher, why do they act like this in the first place?? Why don't they love God??"

I told them..."Probably, there was that one incident in their life that happen and made them hate God so much.."

Then Ann asked again.."Why does God allow suffering then.."

When I heard that, I decided..Next time I'm gonna teach pre-schools!! ..hehe.. Anyway, do you know why does God allow suffering..??

The one obvious answer..is because to make us strong.. and the other.. because He wants to be close to us..

But then again..how are we to know these are the answers??..How are to know, that everything happens for a reason?? Atheist, doesn't believe in God, because suffering still exist..

The thing is, can anyone say why is the sunflower yellow, and not purple..?? Why is the earth round and not square??...how is it a foetus knows how to eat and sleep in the mothers womb?? ... why do we cry only when something is happening??...how do we know this particular person is "the one"..??

I dont know the answers to these question, I doubt you do too...

My point is.. sometimes.. we got to learn to simply believe.. and stop questioning.. Not believing blindly, cause we do not know the answer.. but believing because of FAITH!!.. because the most beautiful thing about life..is that there is no explanation for the most meaningful things and events here..its a mystery..where you can't see, hear or explain it.. but instead feel it deep within.. For He says.. Happy the man who does not see and yet believe..=)

And sometimes.. when you're tired of question..and waiting for answers..its wise to lift up and believe that He will take care of it..=)

From the surface of my skin..

To the depths of my soul within..

I give you all of me

All the secrets of my heart

Every word and every thought

I give you all of me

Oh my heart's in need of holding

And my soul's in need of truth

Come be near me

Come surrond me, yeah

I lift my hands in sweet surrender

I'm falling humbly on my knees

I fix my gaze upon your splendor

How I love your majesty

You captivate me

Come into my darkest place

Step inside, invade this space

I give you all of me

All the secrets of my heart

Every word and every thought

I give you all of me

Oh my heart's in need of holding

And my soul's in need of truth

Come be near me

Come surrond me, yeah

I lift my hands in sweet surrender

I'm falling humbly on my knees

I fix my gaze upon your splendor

How I love your majesty

You captivate me

Another awesome song by tenth avenue north!...

And seriously, if you wanna know the existence of God, just look in the eyes of a new born baby..=)

Have a nice day people!!

Can't find a proper title

Forgive me..I can't help but to blog again this morning.. lol.. its a week away from the PC la k.. you got to bare with the girl's obsession a little longer..

So I went to watch the Grown Ups last night.. hehe.. as expected I was laughing my guts out.. it was HILARIOUS!! ...very entertaining!!.. but theres no story!..ish!!.. I mean I can't find the climax.. and without it, the graph moves in a straight line.. not like a mountain where the climax is the peak of the graph.. ssiighh.. but well it was funny though.. really funny..=)

And my sister still insist in being a pest..

I was at the ladies..combing my hair..

Sis: Why are you combing your hair??

Juan: Because you wouldn't know who's sitting next to you in the cinema..=)

Sis: Nobody is gonna look at you..

Juan: They might..

Sis: It's dark you nut!!..they CAN'T see you..and well, your colour aint gonna help either..

Juan: Why are you people so determined to make my life miserable??..

Sis: because we love you...

Juan: ......errr...

Do they all have the same annoying attitude..or is it just my sister??

And I think I did the biggest mistake of my life.. hmm..nothing new in this I guess.. but we shall move on to the next shameful topic..

hehe..Ok fine I admit it..I haven't watched Madagascar.. Jacynta probably got a slight attack when she found out... She insisted that I should watch both Madagascar 1 and 2..before I leave this earth.. well, check!..Already added in my list..=)

So if you happen to pass by my profile in FB, you must see the amount of groups of join, I know cheryl fernando likes it!..hehehe.. but well, the latest group on my mind.. "Never make someone your priority, when you are only their option.."

Love the way you lie.. my new addicted song.. Stupid girl..but I know she can't help it.. because thats her weakness.. "the way he lies.."

Tonight should be good..Mr Lukesh's birthday.. finally another party..with Crystal, Shashi, rina, saha..the sis is included.. hmmm..it was those days!...Still no idea what to wear though.. and I totally agree with cheryl.."there's no such thing as too many dresses.." ..but what do you do when you feel you have tooo little of them.. but still no more space in the closet to fit any more??..ssiighh..and who the hell it was easy being a girl??..

Gonna start classes next week.. excited??..LOL.. I forgot how "excited" feels..

Ok, my next hindi movie marathon on the run!!..

ttyl!

Because I feel much better..

Ahem..ahem!!..=D... yes your prayers are answered!!.. I know your deep down your dying to hear from me..lol..or is it me, who's dying to tell you my stories??..hehe.. either way, lets safe up for a funeral that is really really worth it k??..=)

First and foremost..isn't life full of surprises??..lol..Ok no, I didnt take a week break just to figure that out... but seriously, do you realized that everytime the storm hits.. It comes along with a rainbow??!!.. hmm..how shall I put this..

ok, lets say you're caught up with this one huge problem..and you tend to overlook all the other problems.. and you've come up with the conclusion that God doesnt really care about you!!..sigh ..BUT He does!!..He really does!!..because when I was buzy playing CONGKAK with my cousins, making fun of my grandma..I totally forgot about my exam results!!..when suddenly I received a message from Pinky saying.."Babe, the results are out!!..how did you do??" ...My heart sank that instant!..CRAPP!!..Psych, Photography, Journalism, SSE!!! ..I was on the very of crying, dying, suffering, breaking.. I don't know what was it..but it wasnt a good feeling..lol Ok, enough with the DRAMA.. ..But I couldn't wait, can I??.. It will take me another day to get back home..so I had to know that moment itself..how bad I did, or I'd probably drive everybody's life miserable there.. So I asked Pinky to check... and indeed.. I think this is my very first rainbow for the year..Amen!!

Seeee..I told you He CARES.. He cares very much..=) ...but I still don't understand why Mr Alex, my photography lecturer, have to be sooooooo kedekut with his marks!!..Ish.. another 2 more marks and I would have gotten the most beautiful rainbow ever!! ..grrrrr..hmm..maybe everyone with the name Alex is destined to be a pain..lol.. and I meant that in the nicest possible way..;p

So anyway, back to my one week of so-called Holiday in Kluang.. I tell you..another month there..I would have came back looking like a Barney, the dinasour..or King kong, well..the king kong.. Seriously, all I did there was cook and eat!..LOL.. yes you heard me.. I can cook la k..its just that I'm a little down to earth..hehehehe.. but yeap..the food is so amazingly delicious..you just have to go for a next round.. My grandma's cooking is simply unbeatable..=)

Ok lets get to the important part..hehe.. so there's this guy in Kluang church..hehe who caught my attention.. lol..Ok fine..he was soooooo soooo..siighh.. indescribably hawwwtt!! ..LOL.. No joke!!.. A smile that could melt the glacier.. eyes..hmm.. so very mysterious, dangerous looking.. like a pirate...and hair..straight, black, shinny, ..like a raven.. WOW..too much Judith Mcnaught again.. but as you can see!!..I felt like High school all over again.. remember, there's always this one boy in class..who makes your head spin~~..you wanna be everywhere he is.. If he's not there..something aint right!!.. when he's not looking, you glance at him..and forget the world.. LOL.. remember this feeling??..I had it.. siigghh.. those days la.. but I felt it again this week!!..though I only saw "him" for that 3 days..I loved the way my heart beats..lol.. if I ever saw him again..I'd surely remember him.. and I even found out his name!..hehehe..

Anyway today was probably the longest train ride ever.. Though I was on my mobile most of the time.. seriously I couldn't wait to get off the train..Seems like forever since I last left Kajang.. couldnt wait to put my feet on the ground.. but then when I reached my destination..I swear I wanted to run back inside the train... hmmm..weird eh?? ..Ok fine, I'm weird..ssiiighh..

Ok before you get bored and switch windows.. I can't help but question..

Is is fated??..or is it in your hands??

Is there such thing as "meant to be.." ..or do you make it happen??..

Do you wait for the apple to fall..or do you go ahead and climb the tree??

Aaahh..the mysterious journey of life~~

Which one is right..??

the head..or the heart??

the head says, "Dont fall!!" ..the heart says.."Fly.."
the head takes account of logic and sanity..the heart washes away every logic and senses..

the head knows many language..the heart only knows one language~language of love..

The head says he's not right.. then why does the heart beats his name??

Does the head messes with the heart..or does the heart messes with the head??

Aaahh..the mysterious journey of love~~

Some questions..will be remained as questions..

Perhaps the only possible answer that I could find..is Prayer..=)

But I found out something else too..during this one week of break..

That no mere human could possibly be with someone, when their heart belongs to another..

so how??..Do you think I've grown much wiser than before?? or even weirder??..lol..I feel much better though.. very much better..=)

Amen!

She sits here all night..

"Somewhere deep inside..you must know I miss you..but what can I say..rules must be obeyed"

I officially declare myself freeeee...from this day onwards.. though I still feel trapped and caged with my own feelings..Ok, you didn't need to know that...lol

And this would probably be my last post..lol.. and you're surely not gonna believe me... but yeah it is..for the next 7 days a least!!... I realized that I should take a break from sharing my madness with you... though I know its irresistible.. well I mean, I'm irresistible..;p ;p...Oh come on! we all know the truth is ugly..thats why no one dare admit it..hehe..

Sorry for my lame-ness.. I'm just..hmm.. a bit messed up.. sighh..Ok fine!..a lot actually!!.. and yes..needed a break.. And I thought I wouldn't be able to get the ticket since I'm buying it last minute..but well I did.. so yeah..will be going back to Kluang this saturday..and be back...next week, friday..=) No facebook, No blogging, no msn.. bye bye technology!!..I manage to beg my mom to print out ONCE AND ALWAYS by Judith Mcnaught!!..weeee!!..cant wait to read it!..

Oh yeah.time square tomorow!..weeeeeeeeee again!!..hehehe.. EXPENDABLES is a must watch!!!.. Their bikes are AWESOME!!..hehehe.. REPO MAN ..is a NO-NO for me.. It was so gross that I skipped diner today.. even worse that SAW..i guess.. eehhww..

Hmm..lastly, here are some words..right from the heart..I mean its not like I'm gonna die or anything..but well, since I wont be here.. we emo a bit k??..=) and..in case the train I'm on decided to derail or anything..hehe..dont worry... you're all invited for my funeral!..;p;p

She sits here all night..

Finding for courage..

To face the world..

Searching for words..

To speak her mind..

She sits here all night..

Trying not to think..

Trying not to miss..

Hoping she would succeed

Knowing she would fail..

She sits here all night..

With her mind running wild..

She starts writing..

Hoping it would get the message across..

She sits here all night..

Because she cannot be there..

Though thats where her heart is..

The very heart..

That was trampled on the ground..

She sits here all night..

With the words left unsaid..

With the tears held inside..

Powerless to do anything..

But only pray silently..

She sits here all night..

Because its time..

Time for the flower to wither..

Though she never held it..

Time to give away the rainbow..

Though she never saw it..

Time to say goodbye..

Though it hurts..

She sits here all night..

Because deep within..

Beneath the cuts and wounds..

Lies a lonely soul..

That will always be here..

Even if everything else false apart..

She sits here all night..

Before she realizes..

That its time to let go..

That its time to start over..

That its time for the healing to begin..

She's leaving now..

With a smile in her face..

With a hope in her heart..

And with the memories..

Beautiful irreplaceable memories..

That will be cherished forever..

And these words are not written without a reason..

Have a nice day everyone!!

True love does exist, or I hope so..

"I'll give you every thing I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when just the two of us are there
You won't have to ask if I still care
Cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all"

Someone stab me pleassseeee!!! ....sssiighhhh.... Really..Or is it better if I just throw myself of the cliff.. I mean the pain is lesser..and I would feel as if I'm flying.. Besides, I could save you from the sin of committing a murder.. gosh..what am I saying!!!..=(((( ..arrgghh

hmmm...the truth is.. I just watched a movieeeee!!!...blluueeekk.. and have the nerve to blog about it!!.. because VEER-ZAARA...is one heck of a touching movie..and did I mention I'm having my final psychology paper this wed..which is technically tomorrow??...

Thanks to Saha, he borrowed one stack of hindi movies.. that Saturday I watched Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham...and goodness.. I was leaking k!..i mean my eyes was leaking.. lol.. Menangis teresak-esak..10 tisu!! Dammm.. shah rukh khan..is one heck of an awesome actor!!!.. seriously!!..his face expression.. the tears.. and today..VEER-ZAARA!!..It was ok lar.. too lovey-dovey.. but it brought me to tears..

"Its love..there's no reason.." ....~Zaara~

And after watching it...I started to wonder stupidly... why is it very hard for me to find true love..?? ...will I ever..?? or is there something wrong with me??... and that's why my relationships doesnt last??..Aren't I worthy to be with someone as well??...

LOL.... ssiiigghhh..

"This kinda love only exist in movies, poems and stories..not in real life.." ~Mariam Khan~

I disagree though.. I mean yes no relationship is perfect..but true love does exist.. It has too!.. When the right one comes along, you will know.. that love is not about finding the person who you can life with..its about finding the person whom you can't life without.. where you wanna build your house with.. have the precious gift called children..that very soul mate who you wanna grow old with.. where you whisper the words.."for better or worse, till death do us part..I'll love you with every beat of my heart.."

I took this from Sam's FB profile..

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. =)

So maybe love comes when you least expect..that doesn't mean its not there.. I mean, if its meant to be...it will always get together no matter what.. Its not in our hands.. its in His hands.. the mountains may fly, the storm may shine, the ocean may sing.. ridiculous as it seems, but if He wants it, it will happen!!..

If it doesn't, He has a bigger plan!!!..

Meanwhile, whos up for checking some hawties in kajang MCD??!!..;p ;p ...hahhhhaha..jk jk..Jacynta would probably vomit blood..hehe and definitely not in UCSI either!!.. hmmm.. Spain sounds like an awesome idea.. hehe and guess what??.. mom just asked why am I not going to WYD??.. which means.. I most probably, hopefully can GOOOO!! ...weeeeeeeee!! Ok, shall not get too excited..

Still, Lord may your will be done, not mine!

Lord, I'm amazed by you..

Hmm..2.30am.. wasn't in the mood actually...

Well...I'm already here..might as well rant something..

So I love reading Sunday Star paper.. especially the "heart and soul part.."..I dont know why... but after reading it.. I'll be like.."Gosh, I don't wanna be in a relationship.." ... Seriously the most common stories.. is that their husband or wive is having an affair...

And if let say...LET SAY la..I am married.. and suddenly found out my husband is having an affair.."God-forbid*..I mean no matter how much you know and trust that person.. there may come to a point, that that person may get bored of you.. my mom always says this to me.. "I am so fed-up with you...for once..go clean your room!!" ...lol... no my room aint that dirty..and I do clean it!!..just that my mom's standard of cleanliness is overrated.. My to-be psychology sister diagnosed her behavior as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder..aka OCD!! ..lol.. chill chill it aint that bad..but it could really drive you up your very last nerve..

So back to my point.. what if he did get fed up of me..?? ssiigghh...yes I admit, I am a very...very difficult person to live it... you may ask my sister.. she'll tell you everything.. not everything.. but the part where I drive her crazy and she wished she never existed in the same planet as I am.. but ssiighhh...

And then you think you know someone.. trust me, I thought I knew that someone too.. but nope, I was so very wrong.. And I do know how is it..when the trust you gave..is contaminated.. Apparently, when the trust is betrayed.. it is gone... thats why I can't understand how it is some are able to get in the same relationship after countless times of breaking up.. or maybe its just me la.. like I said, I'm a very very difficult person to live with..

Ok guess I didn't really paint a beautiful picture of me.. but well, if I am perfect I should be taking the LORD's place... but nope.. I am not even 0.00005% of being anywhere near perfect..

Still..

"Lord, I am amazed by you...

On how much of love you poured..

Despite the foolish little girl in me..

The stranded soul in the middle of the ocean..

You put all your faith in me...

You see something in me,

That clearly, I don't ....

You amaze me..

because you know I'll go through it..

When a single tear falls..

When the soul dies..

When the storm is building..

When the heart breaks..

You amaze me..

Cause You will make it right again..

So these are the moments..where I feel helpless and hopeless.. and still believe that something good is coming out from it.. and then I am able to have a not-so-sleepless night..=)

C ya!

Beyond Words..

From God.. to those who has lost hope..or simply decides to turn away from Him..=)

Well if you only knew the pain that I've been through..

Since when did it become, all about you..??

As you can see right from the start I've said the truth..

And if the truth means nothing to you..

Then what am I supposed to do??

And I'll still love you..

Beyond the words can say..

I'll take your every suffering moment..

And bring a better day..

I'll still love you..

More then what I hope to be..

Let me wrap my arms around you..

Let me take your breath away..

And every time I ask..

You assure your doing fine..

But your heart looks good by smiling..

You couldnt fool mine..

By the end of the night your pilliow sits to dry..

In a crowded room your singing..

But on the inside you sigh..

And I'll still love you..

Beyond the words can say..

I'll take your every suffering moment..

And bring a better day..

I'll still love you..

More then what I hope to be..

Let me wrap my arms around you..

Let me take your breath away..

In a ball room there is dancing..

In a forest there are trees..

In a child there's a hope..

That keeps him in belief..

With any star there is a sky..

With any beach there's a sea..

With any love song there's a lover..

And in your heart I hope its...

And I'll still love you..

Beyond the words can say..

I'll take your every suffering moment..

And bring a better day..

I'll still love you..

More then what I hope to be..

Let me wrap my arms around you..

Let me wrap my arms around you..

Let me wrap my arms around you..

Let me take your breath away..

Another superb song from my new found favorite Christian Rock Band..Tenth Avenue North.. its called Beyond words!!...=)) yeap..can't stop listening to it too!!...

Have a blessed night!