To let go or to hold on?

Honestly, I don't know how life works. ;(

When you're late, everything else is delayed.

But when you're early, everything else is some how early too.

When your dead tired and sleepy, you tend to fall asleep at random places.

But when your at home, on your bed, you toss and turn hoping you could sleep.

When you want so badly to talk to your mom, she somehow turns a deaf ear and contines nagging

But when you just want to be alone, there she is..wanting to give you everything.

When you wish to buy that very something that caught your eyes, your wallet is empty.

But when your wallet is filled with cash, you don't know what to use it for.

When you know you did well for that test, somehow your grades will be very low.

But when you don't bother to study, somehow the grades are the highest.

When you've been good all your life, no one notices..

But when you choose to do something bad, just for that one time..someone notices.

When you wish for the rain to come and take away the warm and stuffy weather, it doesnt.

But when you wish for the rain to go away, together with the coldness..it doesnt as well.

When you think he is into you..honestly, he is not.

But when you're ready to enjoy your single life, someone comes and spoils it up.

When you wish for someone to give up on you..they don't.

But when you wish for someone else to not give up, they do.
When you want something, you can't have it.
But when you don't want it, it will somehow appear right there, in front of your eyes.
When you think you had it all, something comes in and screw it up.
But when you don't have it all, somehow, things remain the same.
When your filled with questions, you don't get any anwers.
But when you're through with life, something proves you wrong.

Seriously, who can ever fathom the irony of life? It's so mysterious, that sometimes..hmm sometimes you're just so through with it and cling on to "whatever happens..happens! Whatever will be.. will be.."

You are through expecting, hoping, dreaming and wishing. You surrender all of your feeling. And let life be as it is. Oh well, I;ve never tried it before. But then, picture yourself hanging on to a railing or a rope 100m above ground. Isn't it harder to hold on to it than to let yourself fall freely? Yes you may hit the ground and die, but hey, at least you suffer no more by letting go the pain of holding on ;) And guess what, because you have a God that is always willing to catch you, wherver you go, you might survive it ;))

You never know who you'll meet ;)

And this is a sad me writing. This 'me' is sad, because classes are back to normal tomorrow. And please bare with me for the next  fews sentence!! .."I DON'TTTTTTTT WWAANNTTTTT! ..*sobs, sobs sobs* ..I really really really really dont wanna go back to uni! ..;(((((((... AAARRGGHHHH ..TAK NAK! ..PU YAO!! VENDA!!! ...DONT WANT!!! DONT WANT!!! DONT WANT!!! ;((((((

siiiiiiggghhhhhh

Ok now that I'm done crying myself out laud, lets get back to earth. I'm really not done having fun. Honestly, the past week has been heavenly. Too much laughter, too much food, too much love.. too much fuunnnn!! sigh. Oh well, but of cause, even if hell freezes, tomorrow is still going to come. And dear tomorrow, please be nice to me. ;)

So anyway, I've been wanting to tell you this story for ages ;) Ok not ages, just since Friday. ;))

So Friday, I got up, no-so-early and spent the time in the kitchen. I baked! ;) ..Oh yes, it was oh-so-awesome ;p ;p .. except for a few people who dislike chocolate! ..sigh.. sad-case. So anyway, after baking, I had to feed Bernadette. And the only way to get her to eat is to distract her by telling stories. Unfortunately this time she begged for ghost story. So I told one, and she ended up asking me, "But I want a ghost story!!" ..Yes apparently, I failed completely in story-telling ;(

So after that, I had to rush to fetch my mom from station and then go for my eye appointment. I didn't have time to shower and change. So I just grabbed the keys and purse and took off to the station.

When we reached the clinic, my mom and I patiently waited for my turn.

When it was, I wished my usual doctor, "Good evening!" ;))) ..And he asked a few question and suddenly said, "This girl is diagnosed with traumatic glaucoma. She got hit by the shuttle cock while playing badminton!" ...I was like, who in the world is my doctor talking too??

Then when I turned to my right.. omg.. I saw the most gorgeous thing on earth! ..siggghh. It was breathtaking, totally magnificent. Almost eyes-popping and jaw-dropping. I had weak knees instantly and had to remind myself to breathe again. lol.. ok I'm exaggerating..;p oh well you know me...hehe.. Anyway, it was actually this cute trainy eye doc!! and yeap he was hhhaaawwtt!

But of cause, ..all the days of my life, I had to choose that day to bake cake, with my stained  over-sized t-shirt while feeding bernadette, my hair tucked up in a bun ..and not forgetting the glasses that I had to meet this guy who melts your heart with a smile. Gosh.. I wanted to bury myself ok.

Then the doc checked my eyes..and continue explaining to the trainy about my eyes. But of cause, my doctor decided to ask me the last question he should have asked, in the presence of a matured-looking hawty.. He asked me, "So are you on break? When are you starting classes?!" ..Great. Just great. Now the trainy must be thinking I'm still a desperate school child want to be a mom, noticing my attire! ;(( ..He can't possibly think I'm older, because I don't look my age. The last time one guessed my age, they said I was sitting for PMR! ..ggrrrr!! No, its my height k, please.. its just me! ;(

So the moral of the story is, always look presentable wherever you go. You may never know who you meet. The random guy you meet in KTM or the market, might be your soulmate.. ;p ;p

And by the way.. did you check out my latest FB pic? ..lol.. I know! ...I'm so awesome rite?.. and I'm always surrounded by awesome people who make me do things,  never thought I would or I could ! ..Awesome yo! ..;p ;p

Have a nice day people. We might meet again tonite.

P/s, Next post is dedicated to my committee members! .;)

Dear Lord

Hello, its me again.

I dont know why am I here at 1.20am..
Bt my cousin just called me to say her bedtime prayer with her..
I guess I shall say mine too ;)

Dear Lord,
I just wanna thank you, for this awesome day. Thank you for everyone around it. Thank you for awesome never-ending food!! ..Thank you for my dear cousins who made realize that there is more to life.. ;)


I  just have one thing.. erm. You know what is it. So I will leave it in your hands. Just please, show me what to do. I can't decide on my own. Do guard this heart of  mine. It has been through a lot. Nevertheless, may Your will be done. Not mine! 


Oh and I have my eye check up tomorrow! ..Please pleasee let it be a good news! And do bless everyone around me! ..
Amen!

I wish I was kid again.

Ok, I don't understand how exactly my heart works.. I mean like..it never learned its lesson. Sad,.. You tried everything ..from building walls to electrocuting..but nope, it never listens. Never. sigh.

Anyway, I practically spent the whole day with my cousin, Bernadette! ..And gosh, the things you could learn from her, is amazing. I bathe her, fed her, watched cartoon with her, sang with her, took her to choir practice where she made me proud by not running around church, like she used to ;). Changed her clothes from uncomfortable to a dress that says, "Don't worry, stay cool!". Taught her how to spell "princess" ..as "Princeness!" ..sigghh..it kinda slipped my mind and Chris asked me to go back kindergarten. ;((  And now, she's begging me to play hide and seek with her.

Its wonderful huh? being a kid? You got no worries. No expectations. No dissapointments. The hurt lasts for a second until they get an ice-cream. No hard decisions to make except to pick the colour of a crayon. No clothes to choose, well as long as its not warm or pokey. ;p No tears, except when you missed your favorite cartoon! No pain except for a scratched knee. Who cares about boys? As long as I'm concerned, they're the same! ..;p And you find joy in the simplest thing on earth, like seeing a rainbow. ;)

But of cause, life doesnt work that way. We grow. We want to grow so badly that when we reach that age we wonder, "Why did I ask to grow? I wish I was a kid again!"

But hey, its not that bad being an adult. You get to screw up life and then start it back again, even more confident, stronger and full of hope.

For the first time

I'm dead tired to blog. So I'm just gonna say whats on my mind..

Trying to make it work..
But man, these times are hard..

But we're gonna start by.. 
Drinking on cheap bottles of wine..
Sit, talking up all night..
Doing things, we haven't for a while..
We're smiling but we're close to tears..
Even after all these years..
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting..
For the first time..


Oh these times are hard.. 
they're making us crazy.. 
Don't give up on me.. baby 

Fireworks!

Ok does anyone of you guys know some nice, awesome songs??! I'm bored with my playlist! ;( ...I tried bugging jacynta's life last night..but she was buzy watching Koffee with Karan!! ssiigghh..

Hold on to the songs first. I got to tell you some thing. My mom is probably the most amazing woman in the whole word..but she can be very very ridiculous at times. She'll be away for the next 3 days, she printed out the schedule for us! ..;(!! oh yes..the schedule where whos in charge of clothes, cleaning and food! she does that all the time she goes away. And according to that schedule, I'm incharge of dinner for 2 days! ..Oh God bless, the family! ..But I wonder if all the other moms are obsessed with cleanliness and all that 'you-must-do-it-because-you're-a-girl' things!

Its rather sexist! ..don;t you think?! If I were a boy.. *starts singing beyonce's song-even just for a day, I rolled out of bed in the morning, and put on what I wanted and go..* hehehe..ok ..back to track. Like seriously, If I were a boy, I;m sure my name would be scratched off from that schedule! ..Ish..but then I don't have a brother to proove I;m correct. But like duuhh.. which 21 year old boy, would agree to take all the dry clothes and fold them neatly? ..hehehe.. oh maybe, I could be wrong. but this world is still sexist! ..;((

Anyway, I'll be away tonite. Probably having the sleepless and fun night ever! ..So to fill the empty-ness of my blog..I shall post this song. Its kinda old but gosh..I love it! Everytime I hid the karaoke, its not to be missed! ;))

Fireworks ~Katy Pery~

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin

Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?

Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you

'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine

Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go, oh

As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, oh

You're gonna leave 'em falling down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space

You're original, cannot be replaced

If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed

So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow

And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine

Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go, oh

As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, oh

You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

It's always been inside of you, you, you

And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go, oh

As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, oh

You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Boom, boom, boom

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Yes I know. A bit too old! hehehe..but awesome rite? Cool lyrics too! ..Ok I;m out!
Cheerts! ;)

Only one story, I promise! ;)

Ahheeemm aheemm!! Today, I'm not gonna tell you so many stories. Although I know your dying to hear them.. ;p But I finally found my bluetooth toggle..and could transfer some of my, "not-so-nice-but-meaningful" pics to the pc. So yes, be prepared to see the most gorgeous persons in the world. ;p ;p

Oh wait before moving on any further, I must at least tell you one story. hehe. sorry I can't help it. Just one I promise! :)

So last night, I received a lunch date from alma! ..And I was the happiest child on earth. Oh well, nothing beats a lovely lunch with your close friend. ;)

So she fetched me after work..and I swear my heart came out everytime she hit the break. That's how reckless her driving is.. or maybe its just me. lol.. so anyway.. we talked and talked all the way to Nilai to our fine dining. And when the food was served.. Its like I died and went to heaven. It was so delicious that I wouldnt mind eating it everyday. Ok, scratch that, I don;t wanna die so fast. I have this wild dream of having lotsa great great grandchildren! ;))))

 Speaking of great great grandchildren, guess what I told  my mom yesterday?!! ;))) ..oh crrappp.. I promise you only one story today rite? sssiighh..oh never mind..another day aite? Don;t worry, I got back my blogging mood.. so you might be getting bored with me..even more ;p

So here are the deserts. Apparently, one of the cake broke..so not so cantik d..;( and forgive me for the quality of my camera phone ;((

So we had chocolate moist cake, carrot cheese cake, coffee cheese oreo cake, apple pie, fruit tart and pavlova!! ;)))))))  tasted like heaven! ;)

 

And this is  my little cousin, bernadette.. it was taken last year.. she was 6, and she begged me to colour with her at 11pm..;)) You see the cute face? How to say no?? 

 

And is what I coloured!! ..heheh.. I know damm nice right?? ;p ;p

  

Because I babysitted her that day..so she wrote me this note!! ..weeeeeeee!! hehehe..and she spelled my name correctly! :)

 

These are roses.;) Somehow they make me tear. lol..sorry I only promise you one story. Anyway they were given to my sister by saha for valentines! ;)

 

This one I did!! ...weeeeeeeee! hehe.. yes I did everything. The cutting, pasting, glittering! ..I was in charge of deco for Internation women's day! ;))

 

Yeap, that's me, with my sister ironing my hair for Easter. It didnt make any difference, since my hair was already half straight! ;(( Oh We always have our own mini beauty saloon for these ocasions.

 

 And there, I finally uploaded that age old pic. Hehehe.. its because gosh, did you notice how gorgeous my hair is? hehehe..*perasan moment* ..but seriously, its always when something is wrong with your face, or day, that your hair is soo perfect. But no point, I doubt anyone noticed it. 

They were buzy starring, "Goshh, poor girl ...wonder what happen to here eyes." ;((

This one..because.. daamm I miss my eyes!! ..siigghh

Ok thats it!! ...See I kept my promise.. One one story! heheh..
Have a nice day!