To understand...or not!

Yes its me again. The sad me. ;(((

Today, I panicked.. lol.. yes, when am I not in a panicked, or in a depressed state?? ..;p hehe But today was the real one. The moment I realized my touch n' go card wasn't with me. I was helpless.. so helpless.. The feeling you get ..where your whole world came tumbling down and broke into pieces!! Literally.. and you have no glue to paste it all together..and now that its all too late, you cant ever put them back..permanently and there goes your world! ;(((((

I don't make sense right?? lol.. sorry, drama effect a bit. well, I'm the last person to deal with crisis k. I know!! I'm not sure myself how am I gonna survive this world. ;(

I was frustrated, so frustrated, that I cant even smile. I tried, but my lips just wouldn't curve. And guess what song was playing on the playlist.. "Today was a fairytale.." I was like, yeaaahh why not??!! The last thing I wanted now was a fairytale! .;((

First, my colleague is making me choose between attending my grandma's 40th day prayers and also assisting in the AMP's THR Raaga's concert which both is held on the same day. Meaning, its family or work. I was in dilemma with that issue, and then when the card lost.. I went lost too. In my mind. Even the cute guy next on to me in BTS didn't manage to direct my attention..and trust me, when I say his cute. He is. ;D ..

And somehow, now, I feel well relieved.. after all the lecturing from saying about, "I-told-you-so-many-times" ..well at least, she didnt chase me out of the house..yet. ;(

Oh well, right now, I badly wanna well, talk, or chat or text someone.. But no one is available. And so I come here.

I don't understand sometimes..
I don't understand you..
I don't understand me..
I don't understand God..
I don't understand life.

But you know, sometimes, it all lies in the "trying-to-understand" part. Maybe the whole beauty lies in not understanding it. Imagine getting a gift... There's no fun if you already know what is inside it... or when your watching a movie or reading book. If you already know the ending, then might as well not watch it eh?? ..

But then again, what if the ending, is not something you want..and that your not prepared for it. What if you don't like the gift presented. What if, hmmm.. what if you just get hurt, over and over? ;(

Well, then maybe, its not really the end yet. And maybe your suppose to use that gift to get what you really want. Maybe that gift is meant to make you a better person.. And maybe, just maybe.. you were being taught the gift of gratefulness.. ;) To be thankful, that at least, today, this moment, you are still alive to receive something. ;)

Siggghhh..

And because, today, I felt like dying because of a blady touch n' go cards.. this song, carries a deep meaning. I love it!!

A penny for my thoughts..

oh no, 

I'll sell them for a dollar..

They're worth so much more.. 

after I'm a goner.. 

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'.. 

Funny when you're dead 

how people start listenin'.. 

 If I die young, bury me in satin.. 

Lay me down on a bed of roses.. 

Sink me in the river at dawn ..

Send me away with the words of a love song..