Saturday, August 29, 2009

better than life..

Attended youth awakening last night..heard this song..which really got my attention by the first look..check out the words..=)

better than life..-hillsong

Better than the riches of this world..
Better than the sound of my friends voices..
Better than the biggest dream of my heart..
And that's just the start..

Better than getting what I say I need..
Better than living the life that I want to..
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is..

You hold me now in Your arms and never let me go..

And You oh Lord made the sunshine
and the moonlight in the night sky..

You give me breath and all Your love..
I give my heart to You..
Because I can't stop falling in love with You..
I'll never stop falling in love with You..

nice huh??..I think it's brilliant..wish I could write like that as well.. Have to say..it answered a lot of my question...I'll never stop falling in love with YOU...!!..

anyway..I'll be attending my first ORCHESTRA today!!..weeeeee....hehehe...in sunway pyramid.. never been to one before..so yeah..looking forward..not to mention..we have free VIP seats worth 200 bucks..hehehe..

k lar..have to peel onions and garlic..lol..and YES!! ..i know how they look like..lol..=p

take care..god bless

Thursday, August 27, 2009

always be my baby..

Sigh..Lord, how long more must I take your testings??... but guess..YOU want it that way huh??..It could have been beautiful..I could have made it beautiful.. but well..It's dumb I know..I'm being very dumb..I shouldn't..but I did, I do and I will...for I can't help it..It's not like I want it..I'll do anything for it to go away.. I don't have a choice..every morning..that's my first thought..before I sleep it's my last..sigh..

Funny, last semester..at this moment..I was enjoying the pleasure of love..but for this semester..I'm suffering the pain of love.. When will it end..or will it ever??.. but i guess for him..its over...for me..lol..just wish the all the best la.. You know what's the hard part in love.. not the breaking up..but the forgetting part..it's like you've eaten a delicious meal..and you try to purge it out..without your own will..it's hard and painful..and when you have thrown up the food.. you turn anorexic.. you know..the eating disorder..whereby you become really thin.. and your body rejects food..same like your heart rejects love again..sigh..make sense??..or perhaps..when you've given one everything..and there's nothing else left to give another.. =(

but hey..that's life..you loose some..you gain some....and meanwhile I really feel like throwing up...=(

But guess..nothing comes packaged in happy endings huh??..Guess it gives me more time to concentrate on my crush..lol..sounds like I'm a playgirl huh??..nolar..just find me a guy who can create a miracle with me..and I can love him forever..lol..

anyway...if it's bound to happen..it will..or else..let it go..and move on..
so yeah..my last song dedication...about that someone..=(

Always be my baby..~Mariah Carey

We were as one baby..
For a moment in time..
And it seemed everlasting..
That you would always be mine..
Now you want to be free..
So I'm letting you fly..
Cause I know in my heart, baby..
Our love will never die..

You'll always be a part of me..
I'm part of you indefinetely..
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me..
Oooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby..
And we'll linger on..
Time can't erase a feeling this strong..
No way you're never gonna shake me..
Oooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby..

I ain't gonna cry no..
And I won't beg you to stay..
If you're determined to leave boy..
I will not stand in your way..
But inevitably..you'll be back again..
Cause you know in your heart baby..
Our love will never end..

You'll always be a part of me..
I'm part of you indefinetely..
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me..
Oooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby..
And we'll linger on..
Time can't erase a feeling this strong..
No way you're never gonna shake me..
Oooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby..

I know that you'll be back boy..
When your days and nights get a little bit colder
I know that, you'll be right back baby..
Oh baby, believe me..it's only a matter of time..

You'll always be a part of me..
I'm part of you indefinetely..
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me..
Oooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby..
And we'll linger on..
Time can't erase a feeling this strong..
No way you're never gonna shake me..
Oooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby..

but something tells me...he wont...=(
I'll be even dumber to believe he will..

take care god bless..

being vain

hey there...extremely sorry..for the technical errors this past few days..which caused no viewers..thanks to my utter dumbness!!..i didnt realize it till last nite!!..seriously didnt mean to block to any of you..=) ...don't worry if i were to cut off a friendship..which i dont think i'll ever do it...but i'll at least have the courtesy to tell it to them..sigh..

anyway..i'm kinda addicted in editing pics the pass few days..hehe..it's like playing jigsaw puzzle..I love putting the pieces back together..sadly..i can't find the strength to put the pieces of my heart together..hehe..contradicting to my banner huh??..lol..so yeah..dont mind me for being lame..





Original..taken from Vetha's phone in UTARICT..




Sepia effect..with glow and soft focus..




Black and white..=)




warmity effect..



I think I'm feeling lucky effect!!..hehehe..no joke..it existed there..




Close up..love this the most..hehe

so yeah..hehe..i thought of changing my ambition from journalist to photo editing..hehe..what you think!!...sigh..lol..i dream too much huh??

anyway take care..god bless..

p/s dont mind the emo words..=)


dumb!!

seriously...please tell me if you have found anyone dumber than me..=(

I kononnya wanted to privatized my blog..but see see..i made it unavailable for everyone to see.. no wonder!!!..sighh..

gonelar now...guess I'll just leave it in God's hands....
just crapping..dont bother..

sighh..

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

LOL

here's what happen in class today..

Mellissa: Juan, I have an extra timetable...you can have this one..=)

Juan: Oh gosh MEL!!..thanks a lot!! really wanted a copy..

Cheng Yee: ..Mel only give Juan..didn't give me...you BELAH HATI!!!

Mellissa: HAHAHAHAH...cheng yee!!..its BELAS KASIH!!!...

Juan rolls on the floor laughing: HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA...ITS PILIH KASIH YOU PEOPLE!!.. heheheeehheheh...

guess what else happen??...my CRUSH!! ..was looking at me..!!..no joke.. he finally realized i existed today..lol

I was in the computer lab finishing my final advertisement..and he was right behind me..everytime i turned..I caught him starring...hehehe...and he had the kinda stare which is like a magnet you know..once you stare..you just had to keep starring..lol..but wasted..i wasn't dressed up also..cehhh..regretted..could have worn something better..and i was having a really bad hair day..but I still caught his eyes wei not bad..!! ..lol..

ok..studying time!!..

take care god bless..

p/s attended a funeral today..sigh..

may his soul rest in peace..
will blog about it..if i have time...=(

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

a little too not over you..

Never thought I'll be posting this in my blog..buy yeah..I'm just a little too not over him..i guess..


It never crossed my mind at all.
It's what I tell myself.
What we had has come and gone.
You're better off with someone else.
It's for the best, I know it is.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside,
And I turn around.
You're with her now.
I just can't figure it out.

Tell me why your so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you....

Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with her now.
I just can't figure it out.

Tell me why your so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.

Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah...
Now I'm on my own..
How I let you go, I'll never understand.
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh.

Tell me why your so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.

Tell me why your so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
And I really don't know what to do.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you, oohhh..

Dear Lord, I beg of you..to show me your way and allow me to walk in it the way you want me too.. For I am lost..Lost in every way I could be lost.. Blinded by the pleasures of this world... Deaf by the voices around me.. Wounded by the one thing I wish to find joy in.. But I actually did.. I found it in you..=)

Light the path I walk in..Lead me by your hand.. Let me only see what you want me to see.. Let me hear only your words.. Mostly, please let know you're there for me..no matter how much I mess up my life..knowing you're there is more then enough to go through everything..

Forgive me..for the hurting words I threw to others..hope they'll forgive me someday.. Help me forgive others as well..the way you forgave..
In your precious name I pray..
Amen..

new blogskin

weeeeeeeeee!!!...new blogskin!!...!!

spent my whole afternoon downloading and doing it!!..nice ar??..hehehe....

I LOVE IT!!!..=)

i can do it..

Ok I have 10 mins before my class starts..but who caresla..its only sociology tutorial..basically I'm only there for my attendance..

Anyway guess what happen yesterday??!! I came back home as usual..after class..on the train..and seriously taking the train on a peak hour during puasa month..is way way way tooooooo crazy wei!!!..NO JOKE!! ..it's like you rather kill yourself then taking the train..lol..

So yeah I was on my way back..and my sis and her bf reached home a minute after i did..they went to town..and my sis was like.."You tell her la baby!!" ..i was like tell what.. and saha was like.."she's pregnant"...i was like..okie what else..lol..hehehe...then they were silent..i was soooo eager..what the hell was it??!!...someone decided to straighthen my hair for me??..or..wait a minute..are you guys getting engage...err..cant be..my mom bake her in the oven!!..what else could it be..someone is interested is me??..right! hahhaaha i was guessing like hell..they so didnt give me a clue..lol...

and saha..was like so selamba..listening music from a phone i never saw before...and he burst out.."this is christine's new phone"...i was numb!!..again my sis said.."SAHA BOUGHT ME A NEW PHONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!"....i was still giving the ..i-dont-care-coz-i-have-so-much-in-my-mind-right-now kinda look..and they took out a maxis sim card..I DROPPED DEAD!!...

Let me get this straight...my 21 year old sister..initially had a music camera sony ericsson phone with a digi number (my mom got her)..and she now has an nokia express music camera phone with memory card and all the other stuffs..worth 400 bucks!!...while I;m here..with A nokia phone with the basic of basics function..no camera no music..except for the radio...which I bought it by myself.. what the hell??!!!!!..where's justice!!!! ...*digs her own grave and burries herself**... why does this keep happening to me..??..and my sis birthday is in freaking october!!!...oh man..I HATE MY LIFE!!!...

*sobs..sobs*..and finals is like in 2 and the half weeks time..I'm here still not inspired to study..but you know what's the good thing??..I mean God is really great..why??..cause HE knew I kinda screwed up my last sem..the chicken pox wasnt a barrier..well something else came up..lol..but this time I have plenty of time to make up for my mistake..so for this semester..HE made all the pathway clear..like I dont have to worry about the time hitting 12AM!! ...so i can go and chat in MSN..or worry about my mobile's beeping meaning there's a message..heheeh..plus no more assignments..facebook also no more meaning..yup basically I'm free from everything..should be the best time to study..

But but...sigh..yeah..this damm brain of mine can't get the damm message!!..HE DOESN'T WANT YOU!!..you shouldn't want HIM either!!!...sigh..hehehe..chill la..y am I so brave to write eh??..cause obviously there's one less viewer for my blog..since last week..obviously..not after what i said..so yeah..can crap about everything and anything..sigh..

Any tips on how to forget someone??..cause it's like soooo driving me crazy!!...my sis keep on telling me.."don't worry Juan!!..you'll find a better guy!!" ..my mind so totally get it!!..and I keep on telling myself as well..but why is my heart acting so retarded??...cause it's acting the total opposite..which part??.. this part.."If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tells me that I am..??"...

Its ok it's ok..I've been through worst..this should be like kacang putih...lol!! YOU CAN DO IT GAL!!!..hehehe..yeah..i can do it!!..

p/s someone get me a new phone!!!!..

take care God bless..

Monday, August 24, 2009

Armor of God

First and foremost..allow me to apologize for my childish post yesterday... dunno why i love doing stuff without thinking.. but seriously..i must have been sooooo depressed to post that..lol =D..

anyway..lydia..hehe..i curi this from your blog...LOVE IT!!..=)..hope you don't mind..
Remember last year, I attended a youth vigil in Klang, one of the speakers, if I'm not mistaken, Mr Vincent Nathan..he was telling us about the Armour of God..and coincidently, Lydia posted it up on hers too..=) hehe


Strong in the Lord

God gives you spiritual armor to protect you as you live for him. It is all tied together with the belt of truth, which keeps you safely on the right path.

As you go, the breastplate of righteousness protects your heart from sin, and the helmet of salvation safeguards your mind with God's great promises. The shield of faith deflects the temptations that wound you, and the gospel gives you peace and purpose. Finally, the sword of the Spirit is your defensive weapon, your preparation for whatever comes.

Today, put on God's armor and stand firm in him. Rejoice that you are clothed in his wonderful and mighty strength.

Let the mighty
strength of the Lord
make you strong.
Put on the armor that
God gives, so you
can defend yourself.
(Ephesians 6: 10-11)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Thy will be done

And he hurts her over and over again..

Alright then, he can have it his way..

Since he doesn't want anything to do with her..

For whatever reason that is..

What exactly did she do??...

For letting out her discomfort..her hurt..

Or perhaps aren't a friend allowed to stand up for her best friend, for the injustice caused by another..??

Which he himself gave his word, to her friend..

She tried her best not to hurt anyone..for she know how it feels..

But sometimes, when she keeps everything within herself..it is eating her up..day by day..

To heal that particular part..to make it perfect again.. she got to let it.. though how much hurt it may cause the other person..

For newton's 3rd law of motion says, FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION..

And indeed that was her opposite reaction..but it isn't equal..

For she knows..if she made it equal..she wouldn't be able to forgive herself then..

So she chooses to forgive, though she can't possibly forget..

For it is still so clear in her mind..like a film playing without a sound..but that's all it is..a film..something acted on..that seemed so real..but in truth..it can't possibly be real..

Like a toy you know..she was only needed for a reason..but when that reason is gone.. she was thrown far far away..

And the best part..it all seems like it's her fault..

Weird Lord, how the minds of some people work..

But it's alright..

If you Lord want it to be over..

Then yeah..it is..

For thy will be done..not hers..

To you and you alone..will she cling forever..

All she asks is for forgiveness..from the bottom of her heart..

If she has indeed hurt anyone..

She didn't mean to..and never wished for such thing to happen..

And he will never hear from her again..

take care and god bless..

Friday, August 21, 2009

broken heart quotes..=)

some broken heart quotes...hmm..pretty interesting words..and touching words..=(..some of it seems to be clearly related to me..some of it..sounded nice..=)

  • Don't Cry Over Someone That Won't Cry Over You
  • If You Really Love Something Set It Free.
    If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be
  • Some Day You'll Cry For Me Like I Cried For You,
    Some Day You'll Miss Me Like I Missed You,
    Some Day You'll Need Me Like I Needed You,
    Some Day You'll Love Me But I Won't Love You
  • If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you.
    If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.
  • I hate you for not letting me have you.
  • Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry,
    Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same.
    Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can,
    Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend.
  • I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody
    but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me...
  • I had a dream and it was about you ...
    I smiled and recalled the memories we had ...
    then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes ... you know why?
    Coz in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye ...(LOVE THIS)
  • I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was..(LOVE THIS TOO..)
  • If someone you love hurts you cry a river,
    build a bridge, and get over it....(LOVE THIS THE MOST!!)
  • The heart does heal and you will love like this again...
    only when you do,
    you will deny you ever felt like this before....(This is damm true)
  • i cried when I knew I lost you,
    afraid I had lost it all.
    Then I realized that losing you,
    didn't have to mean I lost me.
  • If the truth was told instead of a lie,
    then the pain would go away sooner and not hurt this much....YUP!!
  • It's like my mind knows what's right
    but my heart is being retarded and still cares..hahahah
  • Ask me how many times my heart has been broken
    and I will tell you to look in the sky and count the stars....lol..
  • If tears could build a stairway on memories alone,
    I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again...nice!!
  • I was born the day you kissed me,
    died the day you left me,
    but lived for the time that you loved me
http://www.lovefatedestiny.com/brokenheartquotes2.htm
more quotes here...

anyway..guess where will I be tomorrow??!! heheh...in PORT DICKSON!!...yeah..some big time beach..lol...nolar..just going there for some catechist retreat!!..and it's archdiocese level!!..weee..hehe..

But seriously I need a break..though it's only 2 days!!..I NEED IT!! ..sighh..

and again...dont miss me..though its hard not to..will be back,,even before you know it!!..=p
take care ..god bless..

the crush

something is wrong is somewhere..ehh??..sighh..my blog is soo lonely..it's not that I do not have time..just that..I'm not inspired to blog these days..dont know why..

anyway...i don't know whether it's wise or not to put it up here..but still i'll take the chance..to make every moment count..lol..

I'm sure everyone..has got someone..who they think is cute...you know something called CrUsH!! ehehehehe...it's not like he's the one or what..it's like..'WOW not bad, He's/She's kinda cute' ..that kinda stuff..hehehe..but like i said..just the minor one know!!..something to pass the extra free time..something to look at..nothing serious..hehe..don't get any wild imaginations..k.. =p

so yeah..i had one as well of cause..hehe..but before i start all names will be kept confidential and anonymous to avoid any embarrassing moments..(for me) and respect others privacy..hehehe..cehh wahh//

so as usual it was presentation time...i wont mention what subject hehe..but we were done with it..so yeah..it was our time to hear others crapping and watch their nervousness..hehehe.. it was his group to present as well..erm..let me name him 'Y'...actually we have a nickname for him..but that's for me to know..and for you to find out..=p

and then my friend...a girl called "M" ...was teaching me how to play 'when you say nothing at all' by ronan keating...in the guitar..the plucking part and all...we were also singing la..heheh..well you know me..=p ..and randomly M started talking about Y..and i was like..ohh..'how you know him??'..and she started her story..but she didnt know his name..but i on the other hand..obviously i knewla!!..hehe...and dunno from where i said..'he's kinda cute huh?" ...and M started laughing like crazy..so did i!!..hahahaahahha..coz she think's he's cute tooo!!! hehehehe...gosh GIRLS!! ..wait wait..before i continue..my groupies and me were seated at the second row..so we had any easy access to all presenters..hehehe..nothing happen herela..

and then..another joker girlfriend of mine..hmm..let me call her C...hehe..the seat next to me was empty..so C came and sat next to me...and we were crapping randomly...and she asked.."have he(Y) presented..." i got shocked of my life..like why is she asking about him...and it hit me!!..i was like..'YOU ALSO??!!" ..and she was like.."you too???" and we laughed and laughed and laughed....so i told M...and all 3 of us craked there and there...we couldn't help it!!..we've been like friends for like..8 MONTHS!!..and crushing on the same dude wei!!..

here's the best part.. we were soooo caught up into laughing..that we didnt realize Y was starring at US!!! ...and he was standing right in front us!!...my head was on the table..to so-call cover my laugh...and when i looked up..he was starring right into my eyes..like he was searching for an answer..to our laughters...but obviously he didnt find any..i was giving him the mysterious dark kinda look..now if i was wearing my colored lens..it would be a different story..lol..crapping!!

i was like..just acting cool you know..M and C..was acting cool as well...and the moment he took his eyes away..from us!!...we burst out laughing again!!..we can't help it..it was SOOOOOO embarrassing...hahhahhaha...gosh..you should have been there..it was damm hillarious..

and then...when it was his time to present..all our eyes were on him..of cause..hehehehe... and we burst out laughing again...after hearing his voice..lol..not bad..but it was kinda LAUD!! ..lol...and when his part was done..we were still with out non-sense...he stared back at us..he must be thinking.."who in the world created these crazy people" ....i sooooo hope..he won't be perasaning..thinking we were checking him out..errr..actually we were..but if he knew..lol..i think i'll withdraw from UTAR wei..lol..

anyway back to my story..after his presentation he was starring at us..err..and he was looking straight at me wei...like..he was gonna kill me or something..i thought..he thinks we were laughing at him presenting...but guess what happen after that!!...heheehhe..HE SMILED!!! ..he smiled at ME!!!..i melted there and there...unconsciously...i could feel the end of my lips curling..i smiled at him back!!..hehehehehehheheheh...yup..GIRLS!!..can you believe these people..so lamela..hahaha..

wait wait..I'm still not done yet..so after his presentation..Y went out.. after a while..we also went out..hehe...and there was another girl..i'll call her D ..heheheh....she was even hyper than us...!! lol...kinda like crazy over himla...

i can't believe it wei!!..thought i was the only..hehe..didnt know got a whole bunch of the them as well...

so yeah..that's my crush..
p/s if anyone know..who and what am i talking about...pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee keep it a secret...=)

kononya a songla...hehe..

Here's a story of a girl..
Living in her lonely world..
She didn't mind her secret crush..
A little boy that talks too much..
Well I'm standing in a crowd..
When you smile I check you out..
But you don't even know my name..
So you gotta be playing games..
And I..want you to know..
If you loose your way..
I won't let you go..
Tell me..
If I cut my hair..
If I change my clothes..
Will you notice me..
If I bite my lips..
If I say "hello"
Would you notice me..
What's it gonna take for you to see..
To get you to notice me..
hehehehehe..gosh i always wanted to post that song..lol..
but nolar...nothing serious!!..
He's cute..that's it!..=p
take care..god bless..

Monday, August 17, 2009

bless the broken road

AWESOME SONG!!...SOO COOL!....Go and listen!!..hehehe//thanks CHARLENE!!...fell in love already!!..lol..aite..no time to blog!!..have to go jam!!..=p//AWESOMEST!! ..song..=D



"Bless The Broken Road"~RASCAL FLATTS!!

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

tired..

Aaaaarggghh!! hate mondays!!..the train will be overcrowded..and i will feel extra sleepy..haizz..and guess what happen today??..it's not UTAR's policy you know..to cancel class whenever they want..even if the teacher is absent also sure got replacement one...sigh..so yeah..never once have we experience the joy of having extra free time..lol..till today!!..

I came in to class as usual..I'll try to come as early as possible..so i can have enough time to sleep...hehehe..*yeah, that desperate!!..=p* then I saw the whole gang coming in..wished them GOOD MORNING!!..with an eye open..then went back to sleep..hehehe...it was already 8.10 mins..no sign of MR MANSUR!!..then suddenly azfar said.."Mr mansur's house got robbed!! Class cancel!!" ..I'm like huh?? you telling me I wasted my time getting up early for NOTHING!! ...like what the hell..at least send..some replacement teacher or what right..i mean..i'm not in the mood for extra class you know..have to stay back and stuff..lol.. so yeahla..since class cancel..meaning we have FREAKING 5 HOURS break!!..and charlene didn't bring her UNO cards!!..so yeah..I'm stuck here blogging..=D

haiz...so yeah..my week started pretty messy..wonder how are the rest of the days gonna be..lol.. and tomorow!!...hehehe..is the battle of bands FINAL WEI!!..*bangs her head on the wall till it is crushed!!* lol..i mean..so far I kinda enjoyed..jamming with the dudes..lol.. these people are kfun to be with!!..cause they crap 99% of the time..so yeah..kinda get along with me..hehe..just hope I dont screw up la..!!..

You know what else??..JACYNTA JASMINE IS MOVING TO AIMST!!..gosh...you know where in the world is that??..it's in KEDAH!!..how can she do this to me??? sobs..sobs..thank goodness stal is here with me..or else..haha..I'm out of here as well!!..I've been thinking lately..of going somewhere new..somewhere out of civilization..just surrounded with nature..and fresh air..hehe..no technology..no computer..or facebook!!..even my mobile!!..lol..yeah..!! Those jamming session has driven me overboard..=p

okla..maybe not that bad..but I wanna study somewhere far..not in kajang or KL!..somewhere in Sarawak..or penang!!..or maybe not even in MALAYSIA!!..kinda getting sick of the things and people here..sigh..new environment is what I need!!

hmmm..wait!!..UTAR's degree is in KAMPAR!! ..should i go there??..i mean..am i sure to be stuck with UTAR for the next 3 years??..sigh.. but i seriously dont wanna study here!!..sobs..sobs.. I NEED TO GET OUT FROM THIS CAGE!!..*which i locked myself in*..need to find a place where I belong...cause i know..I dont belong here..like I've always said.. kinda getting tired of wearing this mask!!/=(...

God help me make a right decision!! =)

take care god bless..

Sunday, August 16, 2009

some crap..=p

Like a flame of fire burning in fury..
Like a flash of lightning that destroys everything in its path..
Your love crushed away the emptiness in me..
The loneliness are terrified..
The misery seems invisible..
The darkness has been lighted..
The chains are broken..

Your love..
Like a rushing river flowing through the sea..
Full of peace..
Full of passion..
Full of life..
Possessed my soul gently..
Yet so strong and determined..
Like a hen protecting her chicks..
Fragile they are under their wings..
But they will not be harmed..

If the wind could whisper..
If the droplets of rain pouring is countable..
If the depth of the universe could be measured..
They will show you..
How much I love you..
How much I long for you..
How much I want to be by your side..

Just to look in those beautiful eyes..
Could take my breath away..
To feel those lips on mine..
Makes up my heart beat..
To be with you forever
Is paradise..

Let the world stop turning..
Let the sun stop burning..
Let the mountain fall in to pieces..
Let the ocean dry..
For even if all these happens..
I can't possibly stop loving you..


*Juan Margrita 08'*

Friday, August 14, 2009

my kinda boy??..

I see..everyone posting this in facebook!!.. hehe..and finally lim just had to tag me..lol..so yeah.. i'll give it a try..=)

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends here in facebook to answer this. Then see what happens.

if you're a guy- post this as my kind of girl...
if you're a girl- post it as my kind of boy...

1. Do you need him/her be good looking?
erm...they say look doesn't matter.. hehehe..but as long as he is "lookable" then it should be alright..=)

2. Smart?
my definition of smart...= rational and tolerable..

3. Preferred age?
older!!..but not toooooo old..around my age..i guess..heehe..or else i'll look like his mistress..lol

4. Preferred height?
definitely taller!!..=D

5. How about sense of humor?
uh huh...no humor, no me..=p

6. How about piercings?
erm..it doesnt really matter..but not excessively..=)

7. Accepts you for who you are?
hahahahaha..DUH!!!!!..or else..kiss me goodbye..=p

8. Pink hair?
erm..is this question even legal in here??..lol..unless he's a clownla..lol

9. Mushy or no?
hahaha...that will be kinda cute..lol

10. Thin or fat?
just the right size??..not fat..not thin..*am i asking too much??*

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
err...nope..this aint a problem..just dont come in blue or green..or something weird..=p

12. Long hair or short hair?
erm..preferbably short..=)

13. Plastic or metal?
whatever that means...i prefer metal..something solid..something bendable but not breakable!!

14. Smells good?
uh huh...=p

15. Smoker?
sorry..out of my list..hehe

16. Drinker?
not really a drinker as in a drinker..*does that makes sense??* ..lol..ok he drinks but not addicted to it..=)

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
heehehe..why not??

18. Muscular?
yeah!!...sexy...=p

19. Plays piano?
not necessarily..hehe..

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
yeah!!!!!...i have something for those who plays the guitar..lol..or bass

21. Plays violin?
erm..not necessary also..hehe

22. Sings very good?
yeah!!..singing for God and for me..lol..=p..basically he has to be musically incline..lol

23. Vain?
hahahah..join the club, baby!!..=p

24. With glasses?
doesn't matter..

25. With braces?
it won't last forever...

26. Shy type?
erm...come to think of it..you wouldn't ask if you're shy rite??..lol..so nope!!

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
rebel!!..haha..i love challenges..=p

28. Active or passive?
err...active??

29. Tight or bomb? * hot or sexy ?
hot and sexy!!..i'm a lil bit greedy..hehehe

30. Singer or dancer?
singer!!..

31. stunner?
only to me...=p

32. Hiphop?
erm..doesnt matter..

33. Earrings?
again it doesnt matter..hehe

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-un
til-you-drop?
huh??...english please..hehe

35. Dimples?
omigosh!!..i could stare at you forever!!..lol

36. Bookworm?
erm....doesnt matter..but preferbabbly no..hehe

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
that will be sweet hehe

38. Playful?
YES!!

39. Flirt?
that's a must!!...no flirt no butterflies in stomach!!..hehehe

40. Poem writer?
hahahahahha...that will be nice!!..=p

41. Serious?
only when its the right time..=)

42. Campus crush?
ermm...doesnt matter..heheh

43. Painter?
hahahha..cool!!..not a big fan of arts..but it will be awesome!!

44. Religious?
yup!

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
uh huh...like me..hehehe..but not too much i guess...

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak
hahah..faceboook..msn..blog...internet i gues!!

47. Speaks 20 languages?
hahahaha...as long as he understands my language..hehe

48. Loyal or faithful?
whats the difference??..lol..

49. good kisser?
yeah baby!!..thats the essence..haha..sorry a bit naughty today..

50. emotional or cool ?
in the middle..heheh

additional *
enter your crusher's name...
so that she/he will know wat u think bout her.
you kidding me??
hahahahhahah...in your dreams!!..=p

hahaha..feel free to tag urself..=)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Some sayings

curi from other people's blog..=p hehe
















Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Praising HIM

sometimes I wonder..why can't we just keep on singing and praising God..24/7...=(

6 years back..when I was 13 years old..I attended something called PMCCC (Peninsular Malaysia Catholic Charismatic Convention)...I would never forget the date..4th of December 2004.. it was a Saturday..and they were playing the song breathe.. every touching..especially this part..

And I..
I'm desperate for you..
And I..
I'm lost without you..

We were all singing like normally..suddenly the worship leader said.."imagine Jesus is saying those words to you" ...wow..that's the part..I felt HIM..i broke down..and cried..HE IS DESPERATE FOR US??..AND LOST WITHOUT US??...the king of king is desperate for me..=S.. it was magnificent.. the feeling after...it's exactly like falling in love!!..you can do anything and be anyone you wanna be..=D...and at the last day..which is on a SUNDAY.. we didn't wanna go back..after mass..we kept on shouting..'WE WANT MORE!!"...just wanted to keep on praising GOD....i remember the last the song played was "DIP DIP"...hhahah..loved that song..still loving it..every action..every word.. I think I'll teach it someday to my students..=D..

and right after that..my life transformed.. I beginining to have a personal relationship with God..I talked to Him for every thing...even the cute guy that I had a crush on..but hmmm..it faded away..till I attended the next LSS...and the circle went round and round...untill today..

when I attended charismatic just now..everything looked so fine..like "yes i can do it..I know i can.. I can overcome it" ...it seemed so easy.. and i tell that to myself every week..but when it comes to the real trial..i fall flat!!..My mind betrays my heart..=( ....sigh....it's like that's the part where God makes himself invisible.. there's a saying that says.."When temptation knocks let Jesus answer" ..but I can't find HIM!!..sigh..

That's why I had the thought..why can't we just praise Him 24/7 ...then we can go through everything right??..but then!!..it struck my mind..Jesus told the disciples, "how long more do I have to stay with you guys..when are you all going to learn??" ..and when Jesus left..HE sent down the HOLY SPIRIT..that's when they learn to stand on their own feet..and do the Lord's work..

sigh..I wonder when am I gonna find myself and stand on my own feet..

But right now..
I praise and thank you Lord,
  • For accepting me as who I am..
  • For forgiving me over and over again..
  • For claiming me as Your own..
  • For guiding me day and night..rain and sun
  • For never letting me loose hope..though I almost did..
  • For being there for me..though I thought I didn't need You..
  • For every single person in my life..
  • For every betrayal, hurt and rejection I encountered..
  • For every embarrassing moments..
  • For those whom I've lost..
  • For loving me..unconditionally..
  • For allowing me to experience this journey of life..

Amen..
Take care..God bless

Monday, August 10, 2009

rainy rainy...and my band !!

weeeee....2 assignments completed.. another 4 presentations left!!..hooorayyy...cause no more staying up late..and dammmmm..for presentations!!!..=( stage fright...sigh..

anyway..we handed over our report today..presentation..was so so only..i screwed up as usual..=D.. hehe..EXPECTED!! ...and it was semi-formal attire..so i decided to wear my dress..and some so-called heels..*semangat*...everyday wearing jeans..wanted to give the guys something to look at...*ceeeehhhh*..hehe chill chill..don't throw up first k..lol hehehe..cause I'm soooooo regretting in wearing that dress...especially today..OF ALL DAYS!!! sigh..

before i start let me tell you about the 2 so-called seniors of mine..who borrowed my 'magical' umbrella in the first week..and still have not given it back to me..its ALREADY END OF THE SEM!!..sobs sobs..despite me asking them 10001 times...arghhh... why is it magical??..the moment you press the button..it opens..hehehe..i mean a special button for it..like mary poppins...wait a minute..mary poppins and the broom rite??..lol..

so..anyway..it was raining and raining..the rain you wish you were at home...having a hot cup of maggi mee tom yam flavour..in front of the tv and on the couch..=p.. but where was i??..i was stuck in kajang station.. imagine this..a pretty girl..in her white and purple dress...with her so-called heels..happily listening to fly.fm..felt unpressurized cause she was done with 1 of her presentation..all she wanted to do was to go home and sleeeeeppppp!! sigh...but she couldn't...

lol..i was still in station..when suddenly a voice said..'do you need a lift??"..my heart was jumping and screaming YES!!!! ...it was a friend..i don't really know her..but it was really sweet of her to ask me..and i said..where are you staying??..she answered..SEMENYIH!!...my heart sank there and there..SEMENYIH IS like sooooo far..and she wants to send me??..lol..then i asked.."did you drive?"...she said no, her mom will fetch her..hahahahah..i was like..its ok..i'll wait for the bus..

she said she could send me to bus stop..since she had an UMBRELLA!!..i said ok..since she wanted to help me sooo much..hehe..but then..guess what??..her mom..was outside right in front of the station!!..lol..i told her..its ok..i'll walk from here..she was like..'are you sure'..i said yeah..no worries..its only rain..=) so i walked to the bus station..hehehe..it the rain..

let me describe the rain...IT WAS HEAVY...the lighting could kill! the wind..could fly someone..well thanks to my fats..i could still stand still =p... seriously it wasn't the kinda rain..where you should go out and play..uh huh...i was already wet..by the time i reached the station.. i was SOAKING WET!! and also dripping..whereby when you squeeze my hair..you could at least fill half a glass with the water..hehehe..i felt soooo sorry for my dress and shoes..sigh..

and so i waited there..i was so worried about my phone..it was in my bag..my bag is not water resistant you know..and above all..I WAS SHIVERING!! soooo cold.. i thought my nose was going to drop..no sweater!!..haizz..*juan juan!!* my sis was working...so i know i couldn't call her..

and then the bus came..part of me was like.."just run across the rain..you have to sleep" ...another was like.."you saw the thunder just..wanna die is it??..not even married also!!..bf pun tak ada..lol!!"..ok i added that the last part..heheh..so i didnt take that bus...and waited for the rain to subside...when it did..the bus came again..which is after half an hour..hehe

went back home..i remember my mom telling..every time i get wet in the rain...she asks me bathe in hot water..no idea why..but i did.. sooo fresh d!!..ehehhe

so that was my rainy day..this morning i got up with fever!!..heheeh..but didn't dare tell my mom..sigh..just went to class as normal..=D..

ohh yeah..guess what??..I HAVE A BAND!! ..yeah you read it correctly..a band..heeheh..with a singer, a drummer, lead guitarist and rhythmic guitarist..what am i??..lol..I'm the keyboardist..hahahah..dont ask...

they finally realize they cant survive without a girl...!!..lolz ..so they asked me to join..heheh..nolar.. its just that nick is leaving to Indonesia on the 14th of august..oh my..that;s like this FRIDAY..!! NICHOLAS ARVIND IS GOING ABROAD THIS FRI!! ..*sobs..sobss*..sighhh..first he..then shalini going to UK..and so is Claire-rose..GOSH..am i gonna be the last one single miserable girl in MALAYSIA??..lol...hope not..=p

anyway bout the band..they're actually entering a competition..18th august is the final..they need a keyboardist..and guess I'm the only one available..yeah i already warn them...that i dont think they can win with me on their team...but they convince me by saying...they just wanted background music..the guitar and the drums..will be doin most of the job..hehehe

the band saha as the singer, gustin as the drummer, chris as the lead guitarist and sher as the rhytemic guitarist..oh yeah..me..the so-called keyboardist..wish me luck!!..lol....nahh..i have God with me..=D..

take care god bless

Sunday, August 9, 2009

From this moment

I was suppose to post this yesterday..hehehe..but I something was bothering me...WRITING FOR BUSINESS ASSIGNMENT!! ..it's actually very easy..but lazy la..i mean after 1 week of starring at my laptop..tiring my eyes..typing and typing..till I'm like so pro in typing already ..lol..listening to westlife songs non stop.. chatting with dozens of people..asking how to do the assignment..but still not abandoning those who wanted to talk crap..*sigh* ..i mean..hello..there's a reason why the 'BUSY' status was created..and why i was using it..lol.. hehe..but no offense..busy or not..i'll still reply la..though i might take some time..


hmm..i'm 90% done with business...just waiting for REBECCA TAN...for the graph!!..sigh..lol.. becks!! come on dont leave me waiting hun..=p

Anyway..i attended a superb wedding yesterday..ALVIN AND ABIGAIL'S WEDDING! ..i always have this feeling you know..where I'm not in the mood to go..like seriously..maybe because i so-called thought i won't have a great time..but it turns out to be the OPPOSITE!! ..the total OPPOSITE..cause i had a GREAT TIME!! ..=D..no joke!! and this is not the first time..hehe.. as in my prediction was wrong..it happens all the time.. and everytime i think I;m gonna have a great time..NOPE!! ..i wont..hehe..weird huh?? ok..*craps*

Back to my story.. i was hanging out with adrienne, nisha and shal..and adrienne's sis, andrea!!..hehe..who was like about 8.. yeah i know.. she's a kid!! ..but you know what's so special about them..is the way they think..and answer.. i mean..they are so innocent..don't know what's going on..all they know is HAPPINESS!! the way their mind work is totally different..amazing.. no wonder the bible says.. "to enter heaven you have to be like a child" ...so pure..like an angel..

To be honest..i don't really know alvin..but abigail..she's sweet..you can sense just by looking at her smile.. I think me and her have a pretty big age gap..but we seem to get along pretty well.. she used to talk about her work..sometimes she mentioned about alvin..and i so didn't know it was ALVIN MINJOOT!! ..hehe..MICHELLE MINJOOT's brother.. now michelle is my catechism classmate..hehe..co-incidence eh??..lol

Anyway..yesterday..i was a witness to a love..so strong.. a love i wish to experience it in time to come..a love that almost brought me to tears..( i'm a very sensitive person..i just don't show it much..=)) You know what makes a prefect wedding?? ..erm..its not just the food or the environment.. or that beautiful wedding gowns..those are all worldly things.. something that is there only for a day.. the next day..is gone.. i mean the food we eat is gone the next day..lol.. our clothes.. (i'll be renting mine la..not gonna buy something i'm gonna wear once..!! hehe) and the place.. just for that one day..

But the oath..the one that was made before God.. if i was not mistaken i heard a tremble in abi's voice.in church...either meaning..she was sooooo extremely scared..or she really meant every word..that she could cry.. I would go for the second one..=) And the speech given by Alvin..during the reception was like WOW!! ..especially the last part..the ones that was dedicated to abi...oh my..sigh..it was SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL!! =D..

And then came to the best part..they both sang together..and it was my FAVORITE SONG!! FROM THIS MOMENT ..by shania twain... My sister was downloading all the wedding songs sung in church..*dont ask why* ..lol..and this song was one of it.. the moment i heard it..i fell in love with it..wwwaaahhhh..i can listen to it over and over again.memorized every single word!!..=)

And to sing it to the one you love..and to hear them sing it back to you..its simply MAGICAL!!..haahah...im living too much in my fairy tale world..now..dont i??..sigh..i cant help..its simply beautiful..lol...and that;s coming from a gal..who is still single..and never had a relationship that at least lasted for at least 5 months..!!=( i beginning to think..its something wrong with me??...lol..but too badla..if you cant accept me for who i am..i suggest you find someone else..=D

Anywaw I'm taking an oath today..heheeh..I'm on a mission..at least fall in love once again..though it's gonna hurt..or maybe..just maybe..it wont this time..and go for it!! even if i have to move heaven and earth..I'm gonna grab my chance..and find someone..who is made specially for me..i mean..there has to be!! im not that difficult of a specimen to handle..now.. am i??..lol...

lastly, the song..i hope to dedicate to someone as well..

From this moment..shania twain..

From this moment..life has begun..
From this moment you are the one..
Right beside you is where I belong..
From this moment on..

From the moment..I have been blest..
I live only..for your happiness
And for your love..I geve my last breath..
From this moment on..

I give my hands to you..with all my heart..
Can't wait to live my life with you..
Can't wait to start..
All we need is just the two of us..
My dreams..came true..because..of you..

From this moment..as long as I live..
I would love you..I promise you this..
There is nothing I wouldn't give..
From this moment on..

=) take care and god bless...

Saturday, August 8, 2009

not in a mood

hey there!!...hehe..finally have some time to blog.. its saturday morning.. which i suppose to have choir practice..but since i wont be going for mass in the evening..so i decided not to go..hehe..
i have abigail's wedding at 2..and her dinner at 7.. no mood to go..but already gave my word..
anyway I'm like done with 4 assignments..2 more to go..and PRESENTATIONS!!.. and it's like last sem...you know..everytime its us..it ME!! who have to go first.. and here's the best part..it wasnt me who drew the lot for marketing and management.. and we still got to present on the FIRST WEEK!!...thank God..not the first..but the second.. which doesnt make any difference.. and damm la..this time we got to present in the LECTURE class??.. WHERE IS JUSTICE?..lol..i dont need justice.. just hope i dont embarrass myself..down there..hehehe

last night..i had the best sleep of all time..hehe.. slept at 10.15pm!! can you believe it??..usually i never went to sleep before 12..and i was like 2 hours early..hehehe.. i wanted to watch Brother bear..in disney channel..i didnt wanna strain my eyes anymore..been really putting it to work these days..and yesterday..during web page design lecturer..i was sitting right in front..and dozed off...when suddenly..my whole file fell down..creating a laud sound.. i was like..ooppss.. !! hehe..didnt know why i said that story..

anway..i dont know what to blog about..hmmm.. so much happen.. but not in the mood to blog about..lol..yeah DON'T HAVE MOOD!!.. i just cant wait for this week to be over..and then i'm gonna pay back for what i did last sem!!..lol..pay back as in studyla.. my results..was so not my results...and it's not gonna be the same..

Seriously..I'm the kind person..who never get satisfied..till i get what i want!! when i was small//*mom used to tell me*..i cried and cried..till i get what i wanted..yeah TOTAL PEST!! ..i must be pretty annoying back then..wait a minute..i dont think anything changed.. and remember this.. my sister is the one..who always..gave in..hehe... but i learnt to give in as well.. hehe..

anyway..i got to go get reasy now..cya!!.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

If tomorow never comes..

I'm not suppose to blog.. but well you know me.. always go against what I think is right.. hehehe.. anyway had a great day today..attended charismatic..had a great laugh..and i realize..'damm i crap too much'..till royston, keneth and colin..started making fun of me..lol..i mean..i just say what comes up my mind..sigh..

anyway..the main reason why I'm blogging.. is cause I never felt such love.. yeah i know..my blog is full of songs.. another wouldn't make any difference..but trust me.. i mean..all ladies..better go listen to this song..you'll be amazed..for you've never come across such beautiful words..and guys..lol.. gone case..hehehe.. i mean i lost hope d.. but I'm sure you guys will do everything it takes to win her heart!!..dont give up..like the chinese gals used to say..'GAMBATEH!!'...=)..in english it means..'isi minyak'... i mean malay..=)

Whoever wrote this song..wasn't thinking about himself.. he doesn't give a damm..whether he dies or what..all he cares.. is when he's gone..will she know how much he loved her..will the love he gave..enough to last..for life long?? the million dollar question arises: does this kinda love still exist?

Nowadays..love doesn't seem to have any value..sadly.. it's like kit kat..now you see, now you don't.. the trend:"just cause the whole world is having one..i should have one too" ..sigh..

..Don't know why..i have this strange feeling..whenever I listen to this song..and erm gone are the days..to find such guy huh?? and also gal..well whoever have this kinda guy or girl already..better hold on..=) i'm not gifted..i dont know why..but if you do..don't let go..=)

IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES..~Ronan Keating..

Sometimes late at night..
I lie awake and watch her sleeping..
She's lost in peaceful dreams.
So I turn out the lights..and lay there in the dark..
And the thought crosses my mind..
If I never wake up in the morning..
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart..

If tomorrow never comes..
Will she know how much I loved her?
Did I try in everyway to show her everyday
That she's my only one..
And if my time on earth were through..
She must face this world without me..
Is the love I gave her in the past..
Gonna be enough to last..
If tomorrow never comes..

Cause I've lost loved ones in my life..
Who never knew..how much I loved them..
Now I live with the regret..
That my true feelings for them were never revealed..
So I made a promise to myself..
To say each day..how much she means to me..
And avoid the circumstance..
Where there's no second chance..
To tell her how I feel..

If tomorrow never comes..
Will she know how much I loved her?
Did I try in everyway to show her everyday
That she's my only one..
And if my time on earth were through..
She must face this world without me..
Is the love I gave her in the past..
Gonna be enough to last..
If tomorrow never comes..

So tell that someone you love..
Just what your thinking of..
If tomorrow never comes..

sigh..
nitez!!=)

Monday, August 3, 2009

my love will get you home

heyyyy!! back again..to rock the world..lol.. big time la..=p anyway.. the song im going to post is sung by Christine Glass..called my love will get you home.. extremely old song.. but i think i heard the song in my dreams before.. cause the tune is like..awesomely familiar.. NO JOKE!! =D the girl is actually singing it to her guy.. but since i have no guy.. wait a minute ..i do!! hehehe.. but HE's practically everyone's guyla.. It's suppose to be the other way round like as in..He's singing it to you..=p


Christine Glass~MY LOVE WILL GET YOU HOME

If you wander off too far..my love will get you home..
If you follow the wrong star..my love will get you home..
If you ever find yourself..lost and all alone..
Get back on your feet and think of me..
My love will get you home..

If the bright light blinds your eyes..my love will get you home..
If your troubles break your stride..my love will get you home..
If you ever find yourself..lost and all alone..
Get back on your feet and think of me..
My love will get you home..

If you ever feel ashamed..my love will get you home..
When there's only you to blame..my love will get you home..
If you ever find yourself..lost and all alone.
Get back on your feet and think of me..
My love will get you home..

If you ever find yourself..lost and all alone.
Get back on your feet and think of me..
My love will get you home..

Nice huh?? hehehe..anyway..will love to blog more.. but i got to hit the sack now!!..
oh and..i realize i always get addicted to old songs late.. does that make sense?? like..now everyone is into Kris Allen..whereas.. I'm into David Cook's, Always be my baby..hehehe...
i know..weird!! ..=)

take care..god bless..

Sunday, August 2, 2009

No idea why am i posting this

My PC is still sick..sigh..
Anyway..i had this instinct in me.. to write about this and a song related to it.. No idea why..

Maybe some of us.. are going through some kinda trouble.. we can't be in peace.. everything we do seems so wrong..

Some of us are pressured by parents..to STUDY STUDY and STUDY!!! where by there's so much to life than just studying..like getting wet in the rain.. watching the stars and moon at night.. playing the same music over and over again.. for others..it may seem like something silly.. but to you.. its your world.. =)
Some of us wants a different life.. a career that they WANT!! but did not have the chance to pursue it..for they have to please everyone around them..
Some of us does not feel belong where ever they go..fake friends and such..so they are left all alone..
Some of us..wishes they could turn back time..where everything was so perfect.. everyone was fine..
Some of us fake a smile..laugh..while deep down they're dying..day by day..
Some of us..have been rejected..and not accepted for who they are..for what they like.. maybe their colour..race..language..gender..for what they believe in..
Some of us find it hard to forgive one..for what they have done..cause it hurts badly..
Some of us might have been humiliated by someone..very close to us.. and its hard to accept that it came from them..someone they trust..

Some of us..wants to be with another badly..but they cant..for if their secret is revealed..they're afraid of rejection..and therefore the story is left hanging..and broken..
Some of know they have found the right person..but we can't be with them..for if we did..we would have to break so many hearts..
Some of us are left hanging..on a breakable thread..asking..'when will my time come..to belong to someone?'
Some of us might have been hurt..by someone dear to us.. A broken relationship that destroyed every hope..every dream..
Some of us are in love...and they'll do whatever..to be in their arms..but not given a chance to do so..
Some of us loves so much..that they dont want that love anymore..for it only hurts more..
Some of us have been played, cheated..fooled..over and over..again..that they blame themselves for being born..

or perhaps..some of us..have lost someone..literally..our parents, siblings..sisters..friends.. and they'll do whatever to see them..just once more..
Some of us..are alone..depressed..wondering..why is this happening to me..
Some of us are taken for granted..for being extremely good..and its UNFAIR!!
Some of us are afraid to voice out..the injustice committed in front of our eyes..
Some of us..wishes that their life will be taken..

hmmm..again i say...i have no idea..why am i posting this..
But erm..I believe everyone of us have our own believes... some of believe there is God..while the rest don't..
I am nobody..to say your either your right or wrong.. but I can say one thing.. that your soo missing all the beautiful things..in your life.. all the wonders HE does..that changes your life in one second..and turns it upside down.. like where HE makes you go through everything..so that you can see the joy HE brings..at the end of it all.. and no.. it's not like my life is easy.. its not.. it was never.. and trust me..you dont wanna go through half the sh!t i went through..

Like when I was watching this movie..called Love comes softly... in hallmark.. this questions arises.. WHY DO YOU TRUST IN GOD..WHEN ALL HE BRINGS YOU IS TROUBLE?? ..uh huh.. well.. is it written anyway..that LIFE WILL BE EASY?? ..i never came across.. even Jesus did not go through it easily..i mean God could have just given HIM sleeping pills..or stab with a knife..but no..HE reached salvation through the hard way..and no..HE did not promise that life will be easy..but HE did promise one thing.. TO BE WITH US IN EVERY STEP WE TAKE..TO GUIDE AND COMFORT US..

i mean how in the world can feel HIS comfort..if no one HURT you..rite..?? how can you know how to make the right decision..if you are not in a dilemma in the first place..?? how can know how to stand up again..if you never fell?? how can one be healed..if they're not sick?? how can you feel the joy of acceptance..when you have never been rejected..and btw CHRIST has already accepted you.. how can you know HE is GOD..when you never let HIM inside in the first place.. ??

still doesn't make sense?? hmmm..you know PETER..yeah..the one from the bible..=p Jesus was walking on the water.. and when PETER saw HIM..he wanted to walk on the water as well..!! Jesus said come... and you know..at the beginning..PETER was really walking ON THE Water!!! ..BUT THE MOMENT HE TOOK HIS EYES AWAY FROM JESUS..AND looked down...HE WAS SINKING!! ..uh huh...you get my point?? the moment one takes his or her eyes away from JESUS..you go down..straight!!! and no..its not like.. YOU WONT FACE ANY TROUBLE WITH JESUS AROUND...you will..surely will!!..but with FAITH AND TRUST IN HIM..hahaha.. with HIM in your heart..you will be glad to be in trouble..and see the outcome..and YEAH..you can trust me on this!!=)

take care..nitez..
p/s i'll post the song..tomorow..hehe..tired d..