Thursday, June 30, 2011

A day before camp..

heeeyy..

A few days ago..I was on my legs and toes to post something.. I was so close to jumping off my computer chair to get my hands on the keyboard.. Unfortunately, I had assignments to hand in.. and of cause right after that..I'm banned from going anywhere near the computer.. as the eyes..got even worse than ever..;((

But no worries..I went to KPJ this morning..and hopefully the medications is enough to last me till Monday..;)

Sooooo.. the weekends up!! ...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! ..Are you excited as I am?? hehehhe.. ohh sorry sorry, let me rephrase!! ..Are you ready for HFC'S most-awaited ENGLISH YOUTH CAMP!!?? XD

Oh yeapp..its this weekend.. 1st-3rd of July..;))

And since my blogging mood just went away.. ;( let;s say a prayer..;)

Dear Lord,
Thank you for being the AWESOME God, You have always been.;) 

...You walked with us through it all and made us believe that the impossible is surely possible with you around. We lift up to you all the participants of our camp unto your hands..that if its Your will, may your words touch their hearts..and may your ways be the lamp unto their feet. 
We pray for all the committee members who have put in their heart and soul, that whatever the outcome may turn out to be...we may accept it with an open heart for thy will be done!! May we never forget that in whaetver we do all glory, honour and praise goes to You and only for you!

Lastly, let the fun begin!! XD


Amen!!

We shall meet again after camp..;))

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Random..;p

Heeeeyyy ;)))

Hehe..ok this post is going to be so random..simply cause I wanna see how it looks on my new blog look! ..hehe ;))

Hmmm..so what shall we blog about?? Oh great, I can't think of any..

Well, I just feeling super duper excited...for whatever reason it maybe.. its just that feeling that draws a smile on your face..;)

And 8a.m. class again tomorrow! ..After that I have 2 group discussions.. and have to meet Ms Yap as well.. When I'm back home I have to complete my Media Writting Skils assignment.. grrr.. I hate this kinda writting.. cause its rigid, and controlled. You cant write what you want..or feel.. it has to be short and straight to the point.. Yeah I know.. lol..sooo nott my type..

I mean come on! ..It's writting.. free expressions.. free love.. free words.. but then when your writting for a newspaper is a whole different story..which is why I don't intent to work with newspapers.. but wait, the thing is I chose Journalism..sighh.. way to go Juan!! ..after 2 years..you realize you dont really like what your doing.. hmmm maybe I should do design..;) oh come on.. I fell in love with the eyes I drew..;p ;p ..hehehe..

Ok ok.. let me get to the point. I absolutely love writting. Just not the ones where I'm told what to write about or how to write it. ;)

LOL..told you its gonna be total random-ness...;p

Monday, June 27, 2011

Pray, Hope, Love

Yes.. bye bye "ESCAPE OF A LOST SOUL..!!" ..

I've been lost for quite a while now..

So say Hello to PRAY, HOPE, LOVE!!! ...weeeeeeeeeee!!! hehehehe

I don't know what inspired me..but well.. I love it! ;))

Ok gtg, ttyl ya??

Cheers!!

The eyes.

Guess who skipped class today?? ;)

Oh well, my design and layout class got cancelled...and I'm not sure if I can stand anymore of Mr Nazvi's jokes.. lol..I mean he is an awesome lecturer.. he makes us laugh all the time though half of the time he'll be thinking that "men" are the awesome-est species ever existed..which of cause I would throw my self over to argue that is he absolutely, definitely WRONG!!..but hey, the dude's gonna mark my grades.. whatever he says..have to be true..for now..;))

But honestly  I'm not in the mood to spend 1 hour and 30 mins lecture on how to write. ;) My head has been bugging me since morning..and the rain! ..oh the rain is the sweetest ever.. I didn't wanna leave the bed.. but of cause that was before I knew my class was cancelled.. so I got up, showered, almost ready to leave, when I logged in FB to see that class in cancelled!!..UCSI should enter the guiness world records for cancelling classes every now and then..grrr!! oh well, thank God I havent left yet.. Guess, its the perfect oppurtunity to skip Media Writting Skills and have this time for myself....;))


By the way, guess who created the most gorgeous cartoon eyes this world has ever seen?? ..LOL.. sorry sorry, I'm oh-so-excited..cause I'm done with the eyes!! ..and I did it all by myself wei!! That's like as awesome accomplisment k! ..hehehe.. oh wait, before i go crazy with the eyes and drive you crazy as well.. we actually have this 10% assignment in which we have to create cartoon eyes using adobe illustrator.. so the whole of last night, i was cracking my head..on what kinda eyes should i draw an angry eyes, or sad eyes or seductive eyes.. ;( the execution part is alright..its the thinking part that drives me crazy..

Speaking of eyes.. I think eyes,... is the most extraordinary part in your body. And I'm not saying this cause I might loose my eye sight.. But seriously, have you ever stared at those eyes that sends shivers all over..and makes you melt like you never did..like they have this "magnetic" power that you just can't help staring..and then you have to force yourself to "unstare" at it..or else you might get lost in it..lol..
Eyes, they say a lot without saying a word.. They have this certain colour that nobody can match it.. They let go off tears..the biological clock in your body that knows exactly what your feeling deep down. And most importantly, then show what is in your heart. They eyes..leads to where your heart is..

Simply incredible..

Ok lets stop it with eyes.. lets go to the weekend!! ;)))

Weeeeekeeenndd!! ...hehehhe..oh yesss, i had one awesome one.. like seriously!.. It felt kinda good, to not have your mind 24/7 on assignments and due dates.. and for once, have the time of your life..with all the people you love..  those moments are clearly irreplaceable.. never in a million years I'm gonna find another AWESOME committee as HFC's English youths!! ...but then suddenly it got me thinking, once we're done with the camp..then what?? ;((((

Oh well, when we get over to that river..we'll find a way to cross it..

Till then.. have a great monday bloggers! ..I shall go write my news story ;)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

And my faith shall be my eyes

"There's a day that's drawing near..
When this darkness breaks to light..
And the shadows disappear..
And my faith shall be my eyes.."

;))
I learned something today.. That sometimes the best person to talk too are with strangers who knows nothing about you..;)

I attended UCSI's Christian Fellowship.. and we were broken down into smaller groups. Groups which consist of people whom I have no idea who they are.. and I think they're probably the best-est group discussion I've ever been with. You can just go on and on and on..about whatever you feel like sharing, whatever that's bothering you.. whatever that's on your mind..

And right after that I was like.."waaaaahhhh!!" ...its that feeling where a huge load of bricks has been lifted up your shoulders... you feel light..relieve..awesome.. like you can go through anything that you never thought you can go..;)

So I walked out that door of UCSI.. knowing that you're never alone.. you will never be alone..;)

And if everything else fails... your faith is all it takes, and you can walk in the water too..

Cheers to UCSI's CF..;))

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I wish.

I'll make it short.. I promise..;))

That guy with the guitar..totally melted me to bits and pieces..
You could just stare at him for hours..
And hear him sing..
That voice that could tear your nerves apart..
And watch his fingers strumming those strings...
That intense yet serene music that could bring your world down..

And then you wonder.. "Am I really still on earth??.. How come such humans exist?? They tell you so many things..without saying a word.. They touch your heart.. without knowing your existence.. They take your breath away..with a melody you've never heard off.."

Honestly, I wish I had that talent. I wish I could take someones breath away.. and bring their world down.. I wish I could speak without saying a word..but through notes and tunes put together.. hmmm I wish.. Ok scratch all that... yes, everything I said..

I wish.. someone could love me... for me.

Told you it would be short..;p

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Guess who is God's gracious pearl?? ;p ;p ;p

"I don't know what I want..
So don't ask me..
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out..

Don't know what's down road..
I'm just walking..
Trying to see through the rain coming down.."

Hey there ;)) This year is probably the worst blogging years of my life.. seriously, it is lacking tremenduosly..;(( But well, due to unvoidable circumstances in which my eyes has gotten from bad to worse.. I might have this condition called Glaucoma.. and that there is a tendency that I could go blind.. I'm not allow to strain my eyes..or do any vigurous activity.. meaning no running or badminton till the doctor gives the green light!! ..;(((

I was rather sad.. cause it is my fault.. if only I had listened.. but wait.. its not exactly my fault.. I mean come one its not eveyday you get to turn 21, I was practically out the whole week, and at the same time come back to finish the darn assignments.. and your friends.. oh gossshhh my friends.. its like I died and went to heaven.. looking at the surprises I got.. honestly, i was like AWWWWWHHH-ing all the time k.. like ALLL THE TIME!!! ...I was the kid again.. that kid I forgotten I was.. and gosh its simply awesomeee k!!..they're all awesome people.. my family, my two bestest friends on earth, Crystal and Jacynta, UCSI 2nd year Mass Com Students, HFC English Youth Committee!!!, and a special someone who literally treated me like a princess~Sahadeva~!!! ;)))

And with darn assigments..and celebrations.. there is no such thing as "enough" sleep" ..and on top of that, I had to play badminton and start running at the same time..so yes..it all added up...

I was kinda worked out that I might go blind..as my vision was blurring..like almost distorted image was forming already..i had to complain to someone.. And I was talking to Sukhbir and told him, "Sukhbir!! what if I reallly go blind??!! ..And I'm not even married yet!!.. would someone fall in love with a blind person??" He just started laughing...and it went on and on bugging his life..I'm sure in his heart he'd be thinking, "When is she going to shut up?!!" and i realized.. daammmm.. I can't blog!! ..and that will surely take my life away..

LOL.. ok ok.. I'm just being paranoid!! ..;p ;p ..

So anyway enough of my lame-ness.. how have you been?? ..I'm still the same.. only that, you get to see me with glasses.. I feel like a nerd or goody-two-shoes walking around in my backpack, and charcoal black hair, with jeans or tights.. hmm maybe I shoule be more err..feminine?? I dont know..but I do own a pink mobile, a purple purse, a purple hand bag.. and yes.. something other than flats..and skirts.. more skirts?? ..

Gosh..ok it just got lamer right?? grrrr...hmm ok ok I'll stop ..oh yes yes.. i got something interesting..

I was arguing with my lecturer through e-mail k.. lol.. yes maybe I don't speak my mind right to your face..but you give me a pen and paper.. I'll nail you to the wall k..;p ;p hehehehe.. jk jk.. but seriously, I think he's being ridiculous, and absurd.. like seriously.. Of cause I wrote it in a polite manner, but if you're smart enough you can sense my sarcasm here and there.. hehehe.. and then one part..i think he got a bit pissed off..instead of saying "juan!" ..he said, "Margrita!" ..lol.or maybe he cant pronounce my first name.. i wont be surprised..it happened like 10000012334 times ady.. and and..I dislike it being called "Margrita" ..so far only one person who loves annoying me by calling me "margs.." ..lol.. and wait, before I move on, we, the whole class made him change his minddd!!! ..woot woott.. now who's awesome?? ;p ;p

Anyway speaking of my name, guess what else?? Juan means "God is gracious.." and Margrita means "Pearl" ..so if you combine it.. you get GOD'S GRACIOUS PEARL!! ..Oh my goshhh... my mom is sooo brilliant k!! ..though at that moment she had no idea both my names were Spanish or the real meaning of it.. but WOW...after 21 years.. I think I have the best name ever.. minus the part where its a guys name.. but yeah.. ;))

Ok I think I carpped a lot ady today.. dont wanna take more of your time.. hehehe.. i was just too excited k.. so long didnt blog..;p ;p

Before I leave..

"Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission.. but I'm ready to fly.."

P/S I accidentally deleted my signature.. nevertheless.. this post is truly and orginally from me..;)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I'm still oh-so-awesome and amazing! ..;p

So you wanna know what makes me... me?? ;))

  • I am overly sensitive. I cry and I'm not afraid of crying.. I cry for small things.. I cry when I'm hurt.. I cry even more, when I'm taken for granted.
  • I have a very big ego. Superbly big, that you can't possibly match it. Uh-huh, its very big, that if you expect me to go and tell you "hi" ..I'll probably think twice.. ;(
  • I don't speak my mind off. I tell you something nice though its not.. to take care of your feelings. As long as your happy, I don't mind getting hurt, I just can't bare see you getting hurt.
  • I can't say "no"..and I mean that literally. You ask me to do something, no matter how pack my schedule is, I'll do it..even if I have to stay up all night.. I will..;(
  • My sister says I live in another world. And I agree with her. In my world, butterflies fly freely, angels are always present and my prince charming rides a white horse..;p ;p In other words, I live in denial.
  • I am the definition of last minute. Like the last-ever-minute. Which explains the dark circles around my eyes, staying up all night, for assignments.
  • Saha said, "Juan you'rethe most careless person ever." As much as I would love to disagree, it is true. I just lost my eye drops and medications, but by God's grace, I found it back!! ..;))
  • I dream a lot. Like a lot, that is why I tend to blurr out all the time. I remember my friends telling me, on the day I get married, I might walking down the aisle, wondering which is my husband..;p ok that was exageration, but yeah, something like that! ..hehe
  • I get influenced very fast. Whatever you say to me, will sink deep within. However, somewhere at the back of my mind, I know what I believe in. I know my faith, I know my values.

I cannot change who I was, but I'm aware of who I am.
I'm aware that its a crazy world out there, and that not everyone is going to be how you expect them to be. I'm aware that you cannot change the situation, but you can change who you are.
I'm aware of my flaws, but I also know that without it, I'm perfect.
Yes perfect. But the thing about being perfect is that, nobody can ever be perfect. Even the thought of "being perfect" involves the need to be selfish and arrogant.

The irony of life is simply unique.
There aint no easy way out, either way you choose will either harm you or others.

But then that's the beauty of life as well.
To expect the unexpected. To know, that there is a gift behind every mystery. There is a rainbow behind every rain. There is hope behind every sadness. There is you, beneath all these flaws and imperfections.

So yes, I'm imperfect ;)

Its either you deal with all of it, or none of it.

Weird, some time ago someone very dear to me mentioned, "Your amazing, just the way you are" ..And I went flying, all over..lol.. oh well, so maybe those days are gone.. but guess what? I'm still oh-so-awesome and amazing just the way I am..

And yes, sometimes you need to come back and flatter yourself..with words of encouragement, so that next time when the storm hits, you know you can stand it..;)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

In a hurry, to think of a title..

Honestly I have like a lot of stories to tell, however my mom has to use the laptop urgently, since my PC is still in the repair shop..so I'll try to cut it short k?? ;)

Hmm, firstly, HFC Camp is going to rock!! ..;)) Seriously, Lord, I'm amazed by you.. like so amazed! ..I don't know how you do it, but gosshh.. You're simply the best!! Thank you for everything! ..;))

Secondly, I finished my assignment.. and gosshh, so feel like a journalist already! ..;p ;p

Thirdly, my students complimented me today! .."Teacher, you look very cute in your glasses!!" ...lol.. I don't know if they mean it, oh well it made my day! ..;p ;p My second compliment regarding my glasses..;p

Fourthly, I played badminton today. Yes, half blinded. I couldn't be bothered, I needed to burn some callories man! .. It was gooodd! ..;p

Fifthly, I'm having butterflies in my stomach, always missing a hearbeat, and and..siggghh.. I keep on smilling un-necessarily.. grrrr this is pretty bad alrite! ..;(

Lastly, guess who's turning 21, and has gotten the best gift ever in her life.. the family!! ..Seriously, although Little Bernadette showed it off my saying, "Juan, your mom said later got surprise for you!" ..LOL ..I enjoyed the small gathering!! ..thannkk you to the organizers.. My Family, Extended Family, Saha, Crystal, Jacynta and Shashi! ..Simply the best! ..XD

Ok, my mom is already hurrying me already!

Ttyl! ..;p

Friday, June 10, 2011

The murder of the second cockroach..;p

Its 8.30am and here I am again, failing miserably at my attempt to detached with words.. ;p;p Sorry to bug you again with my lame post..but I can't help it.. I'd go crazy if I read another book. lol..oh by the way, I finished reading My Sister's Keeper.. and gooossshhh.. I was literally sobbing towards the end k! ..Its a daayymm good book! ..Go read it! ..;)

I have my presentation at 9.30a.m. ....yes this is the part where I go, "OMG!!..I can't do it!! I'm gonna fall on my heels and tear my niche's skirt!" I dont why am I so afraid of falling during presentations..hmm weird..

Now thats the thing... I woke  up feeling like a zombie today.. like no way I'm going to go through this day .. ;( then like a zombie,I walked in the bathroom.. and this dayymm flying cockroach almost took away my life!!..I wanted to scream my lungs out, and I realize I didnt wanna wake my 76 year old grandma whose fast asleep. So I took the ridsect and sprayed the whole bathroom, sprayed and sprayed probably half the bottle is finished by now..;p ..and I would like to take this oppurtunity to thank the LIFE SAVER RIDSECT!!..gosh, it was a nightmare k,having to deal with that gross, ugly, big, suicidal cockroach..;) and yes,today I killed a second cockroah in my life.. yes, pretty lame, but hey..thats going into my bibliography aite! ..;p ;p

Anyway I have a new challenge today..;)  Since I killed the monstreous cockroach, I intend to smile..XD.. yes to smile at whatever that comes along the way.. to accept everything that is gonna happen.. Just incase if my mind chose to speak Japanese today, or I tore my skirt, or they deide to reject my resume..yes the resume for my internship.. I'm gonna smile..why??? Because thats how you face life I guess. And because I know, its gonna rain forever.. the fact that the sun is going to shine sooner or later, gives you a reason to smile..;)

Another thing.. I rarely get this feeling.. or say it very often..but I think I'm gifted with the most amazing sister in the world..;) I don't know why I felt like saying that.. but if there is someone who inspires me, if there is someone behind this smile..if there is someone who can make me laugh and cry all at the same time.. and I'm not saying this because she already gave me my gift or that she drives me to uni almost every morning..;p but simply because she is my sister..;) and honestly, I have no idea what I would do without her..;)

And yes I wrote that when I'm completely sober and in a clear state of mind..;)

So to an awesome day...or no matter how its gonna turn out.. I'll make it awesome..

Will let you know how it goes..;)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Via Tumblr

No, I don't feel right again.. hmm.. I'm begining to dislike the "night" for some time.. I hate to sleep already. I can't seem to sleep. And I'm up by 8am!! ..No matter how late I sleep.. I tend to get up by 8! Yes this is so not me.. Anyway I visited tumblr after ages.. I found these..;)








She aint giving up..

"Everything I once held dear, I count it all as lost.."

So last night I had a terrible conflict within me. Yes a conflict. I wonder if you guys get it too.. Like all of a sudden, you go totally blank, where in the world are you, what's happening around you. Everyone around you seem like a stranger. My mom told me somethings..but I couldn't remember any of it. I just stared at her and nodded my head. I knew she and my sis had an argument.. but it was like I wasnt there.. Dissappeared through thin air. My body was there, my soul was still on earth.. it was just wasnt with me.

So what do you when this happens???

I prayed, its either that, or I jump of the clift of the higest mountain.. ;( 

Then I started sobbing like a little girl whos brother broke the head of her favorite doll. I didn't know why I cried, but it felt so much better. I felt relieved. I felt comforted. I felt saved. And I knew I wasnt alone.

Ok, something changed right?? The way my words are coming are soooo weiirddd!! ..don't you think so?? hmmm did you sense some changes in the way I blog?? sigghh..

Help her, before she dissappears through thin air..;p

She stares blankly at the sky
Wondering how she got here..
How it all started..
She tries to complete the puzzle
But some pieces are missing..
She searches for a reason, for an answer
But ends up with a question..
She struggles to paint the picture..
But it blurrs out somewhere..
She wants to be heard..
But the voices are way too laud..
She tries to put on a smile..
But there is a crack in between..


She might be clinging on to a thin rope..
But she aint giving up..

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The thing about love

Goshhh.. panas panasss!! ..like really PANASSSS!! can you feel heat?? Gosh, I think the world is going to end before I graduate.. like what nonsense? I'm halfway dying for Media, Law and Ethics, and its for nothing? aiiyyoo

So anyway, SUDHA got engaged YESTERDAY!! ..like yesterday man! It was like a dream.. I swear it was.. or well, thats what I got up thinking ..;(

She's probably the first on my "close" friend's list who is about to tie the knot.. and yes that's awesome! ..You don't find true love all the time..and once its there, go grab it! ;))

The thing is, ...no I'm not gonna ask, "Where in the world is mine??!" Lol..

But then sukhbir told me today to go find for someone, and stop being single.. oh wait wait.. he also said that "Juan, you've got great personality, nice hair..bla bla..*which I totally agree with him..XD*..you just touch up here and there.. and go find for someone..you know, stop being single!!" ..

I laughed of cause..

The thing is.. again.. You don't choose to find for someone.. or when do you wanna fall in love.. you dont expect someone to find you..it just happens.. love just happens.. it beats every logic, every dream you've ever built.. and yeah, it just happens.. You like it or not, it happens.. and there;s nothing much you can do about it..;(

Ok I would love to elaborate more, since my expertise lies in this area..;p however I'm dying to finish "my sister's keeper" ..lol

This post is to be continued..

*Stay tuned*

P.s CONGRATS SUDHA GANESAN! ..;P

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The power of words..

So I finally finished reading Murakami's Norwegian Wood last night.

How was it?? hmmm.. I find the ending rather depressing, cause Murakami left it as an loose end, meaning there are a few possibilities of what could have happen. And yes, I kinda hate this kinda stories for you feel like, "aaaaarrgghhhh!!" .. You wanna meet this dude and demand, "what in the world happen to Toru and Midori??" .. They got together? Or died together? Or separated?? What what?? ..And Naoko, what was the main reason she died?? .GRRR!! ..Frustrating I tell you.. ;(

So I try google-ing the ending for the book, and came up with various answer and finally I found the perfect answer..

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think of what everyone else is thinking" ..~~Haruki Murakami~~

Which makes sense on why he's writing is so mysterious, so unpredictable.. He writes from a whole different perspective, very unique.. The ending is either sad or depressing for you think. To think that life is not always a bed of roses, sometimes you get tangled up with the thorns. The question is, "are you willing to untangle yourself and pink up the pieces.."

I realize why I enjoy read..
I read because its like an escape from the real world, you get to be your own hero, or heroin. You create your surrounding and imagination.. You feel what the character feels.. You put yourself in their shoes.. and wow! Really, its probably the best thing I could ever think off.. Its a 100000 times better than watching a movie..;)

I tried watching this tamil movie with my family last night..and all I could think of was the book. I couldnt wait for it to over to continue with my reading. I didnt wanna to just leave cause its a family leisure time and that they said the movie was really nice, so I didnt wanna dissapoint them by leaving halfway.. but seriously, I was hating every minute of it..

The thing about watching a movie, they're acting.. and that's it. You get what you see, you capture what you hear..there's nothing much you could do about it..

I remember this quote from beauty and the beast where Gatsby asked Belle, who loves reading, "How do you read this, theres no pictures??!"
And Belle replied, "Well some people use their imagination.."

I remember when I was in primary I'll go to the library during recess and borrow 2 books. Once I've read almost all of Enid Blyton's series, I will re-borrom them. If you check the card at the back of the book you will see my name in there twice! ..ehehehe

But then I stopped. I never knew why...

So today, I officially declare my new hobby, reading! ..;)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

To HFC Youth Committee ;)

Ever experience the moment, where you feel, "that's it, its not gonna work out!" ...You break a cold sweat, despite the air-conditioned place, you feel your heart racing.. Your lungs is bloated, your mind is all over the place.. you try to not think about it, but then no matter how much try, it aint working..

Yes I experienced that today.. ;( And it was bad.. because I realized that, "Gosh, I should learn to take it easy!!" ...I think I got it from my mom. She panics very fast and so do I.

Anyway, do you realize that whenever you try your damnest to do something good, something else comes in the way and stop you?? ..The video was perfect when its viewed but when its projected its not how we want it to be, the table for registration was not set up yet and what if we can't get enough people?? What if the committee gives up last minute??.. what if this camp, which is suppose to bring us together, is breaking us apart??

So while sermon, which of cause I couldn't concentrate..since my mind was all over the place.. I started writing and questioning God..

Lord, why do you always do this?? Why do you always screw it all up, when we want to do something for you?? We are trying our very best. And then, you make us believe, "that the harvest is plentiful but the labourers are few,".. Yes it is few, but then why do you choose to 'test' these "few" ones as well?? Its not a good feeling you know, when you don't support us in what we are doing for you.. Its like we wrapped up this "gift" , so beautifully, straight from our heart.. and there and there, you say, "Its not enough!!" ..;(((

I'm sorry Lord, yes I may sound harsh, but that's exactly how I felt that moment..

After emo-ing and "merajuk-ing" with the Lord, He told me something that touched me through the song, "Yesus Panggil Saudara"..

"Yesus panggil saudara,
Menjadi anak-anaknya,
Yang berkorban dan setia,
Dan memuliakan Allahku..

"Yang berkorban and Setia!!" ..to be his Child, is to sacrifice and to be loyal..

Then I looked at the cross and a tiny voice whispered, "I died for you, got nailed on the cross for you, fell down thrice for you, got my head pierced with thorns for you, shed every drop of blood for you... I don't remember complaining.."

I laughed of cause... lol.. I laughed to myself..;)

Then I remembered about the SALT OF THE EARTH.. You are the salt of the earth, and if the salt looses its saltiness, then what difference does it make??  I chose you to be different..I made you strong enough to withstand every obstacle, every test, every challenges.. if you were to give up now, what difference would you make, compared to others? if you choose to let the devil get in your way, what difference would it make?? You would be the same as they are..Remember, I did not promise that life would be easy, but I promise you that I will be with you through it all..

And then I was like, "Wow, Lord, your like amazing!!" ..;p ;p Seriously..

So to HFC Committee, whatever happens.. its for the Lord!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Drops of blood..

Ok this is weird.. I just saw drops of blood on my book.. like red patches.. and when I blink, they're gone.. Then I blink again they're there!! ..Ohhh nooooo!!! ....Could it be that I'm hallucinating?? Or the effect of the torn iris?? ..It better be the effect of the torn iris.. ;(( I'm not 21 yet, I refuse to have an appoinment with the psychologist.. neither can I stand another psychologist.. My sister is good enough to paint the picture..;p ;p

Anyway, guess what else I did today?? I was having my shower and at the same time I was practicing my presentation for tomorrow's Media, Law and Ethics class.. I accidently washed my hair with the body detergent instead of my shampoo!! ..As relieved I was that it only the body detergent and not the toilet cleaner.. I did wash my hair twice! ..sigh.. maybe I should meet the counsellor..

Murakami's Nerwegian wood, stays on my mind all the time. Especially the part when Naoko is sent to Ami Hostel. I started thinking about Shutter Island ok! ...That is soooo sooo creepy! ..sighh

The presentation is tomorow, and yes I dread it. I'm not use to having tens pairs of eyes starring at me, waiting to prey any moment..but it can't get any worse, can it?? Obviously it can.. Ms Yap!

Sigh, Lord, please make sure Ms Yap in a good mood tomorrow! ..;)

Wish me all the best! ..