Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sacrifice of a broken heart..

I thought i could handle it..but guess i was wrong.. when there's nothing else left to offer..for you Lord, have taken everything i have... guess i will offer up my life..=) it's all yours..

I will offer up my life..
In spirit and truth..
Pouring out the oil love..
As my worship to you..
In surrender i must give..
My every part...
Lord receive the sacrifice of a broken heart..

Jesus what can i give..what can i bring..
To so faithful a so loving a king..
Saviour, what can be said..what can be sung..
As a praise of your name...for the things You have done
Oh my words could not tell..
Not even in truth..
Of the depth of love that is owed..
By this thankful heart..

You deserve my every breath..
For you've paid the great cost..
Giving up your life to death..
Even death on the cross..
You took all my shame away..
They defeated my sin..
Open up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in..

Jesus what can i give..what can i bring..
To so faithful a so loving a king..
Saviour, what can be said..what can be sung..
As a praise of your name...for the things You have done
Oh my words could not tell..
Not even in truth..
Of the depth of love that is owed..
By this thankful heart..

Friday, May 29, 2009

Hey!!..hehehe..i realize i can't live without blogging..=) It's in my blood..=(
Anyway we had an awesome time youth awakening!!...Marcus is an excellent worship leader..seriously!! The moment the song..'thank you for the trials' was's was unexplainable.. The perfect song to end the week.. you know why so many people fall out of love with God..the moment when we face trials??..It's cause of this..

'But it goes against the way I am..
To put my human nature down..
And let the spirit take control..of all i do..
Cause when those trials come..
My human nature shouts the things to do..
And God's soft prompting can be easily ignored..''

It's simply because we let the human nature take control of us..and soo..God's soft prompting cant be heard..
You're falling off the cliff!! And He's shouting..'I'm here for you..hang on to my HANDS!! ..but the human nature in us..takes control!! and so we convince ourselves..'God has neglected me!! He does not hear me anymore!!..' So we let the cliff..and thus we fall..we fall of the cliff.. we fall out of love.. we fall into sin!!

But if only we hold on..put our 101% trust in our hearts..and have faith as strong as a mustard seed..we are able to push the mountains dear friends!! ..We will be able to hear that soft prompting..that voice of His.. just do not ever loose God.. He will never forsake you.. for He says..'I will never let your feet hurt against the stones..I will put my angels in charge of you!' 10000 maybe dead around you..all around you..but you will not be harmed!! And he is talking physically, mentally..and emotionally...

If you are facing any trusting Him.. You have lost all your faith in Him.. I can't do anything... Just matter how much you resist matter how much you hate Him..He'll never pass out on you.. He'll never let go off you.. The more you run.. The more you sweat.. The more you sweat, the more you're inneed of water..and that's the moment..where you'll realize..He's the living water.. The only one who can and will satisfy you thirst!! Amen..

God bless..take care..

God bless..

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Till we meet again..

Hey guys...i wouldn't be blogging again..i dont know till when..but till then..we will meet again k?? I added one new song...just incase you get bored..=) Neways take care..and God bless!! Till me meet again...

My valentine..

wow..amazing.. ok i just saw this awesome youtube.. It's about a couple..rueban and veronica..who got married..on the 14th of February the church of divine mercy..shah alam..accompanied by the song 'my love, my valentine' by martina mcbride ..gosh it was soooo beautiful!! the song was sooo touching..really!!

Its like all the other marriage that i've attended.. But what's so special about this couple.. is when they took their oath..they mean every word they know the part where you look into each others eyes..they want to go through every struggle and trouble matter what comes along the way..they will stay strong for they are together..

I think at the end..that's what love is all about..and also marry the person who wants to go through this life with you..despite all your imperfections..they dont care...for in their eyes..your perfect.. they love you for who you are..which is yourself... they would not let you matter how you look..or what you wear..or what you like.. and most importantly they wouldn't wanna imagine even a single second without you in their life..

I remember once i attended a boy girl relationship talk..and this question came up.. 'what is true love..??' of cause..the one thing that comes to our mind is the person whom you love.. well in actual fact..true love is sacrificial other words..its God's love..=)

True isn't it?? i mean you will want to sacrifice anything and everything you have for the one you love..just to make them happy..and put on a smile on their face.. for it means the world to you.. You spend hours..finding the perfect outfit..make sure you look good for them.. You will travel million miles..just to be near to them..though you can't really communicate..but at least you get to see them.. You put on all the other important works aside and crack your get the perfect poem on the paper.. You do a lot more of other crazy stuffs!!

Well, God was and still is in love with us.. He is in love with us soo much..that he gave up His life..on the cross for us..simply amazing!!

It's also an amazing feeling to be in love.. unfortunately i'm not fated to be in that kinda situation..I'm not sure if at all i will have the chance to wear that white gown..and have my first dance...i doubtla but if i was..this song will be played..=)

My love, my valentine..martina mcbride..=)

If there were no ways to speak..
I would still hear you..
If there were no way to feel inside..
I'd still feel for you..

And even if the sun refused to shine..
Even if romance run out of rhyme..
You will still have my heart until the end of time..
Your all i need My love my valentine

All of my life..
I have been waiting for all you give to me..
You open my eyes..
And show me how to love unselfishly..

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before..
In my dreams I couldn't love you more..
I will give you my heart until the end of time..
You're all i love my valentine..

And even if the sun refused to shine..
Even if romance run out of rhyme..
You will still have my heart until the end of time..
Cause all i need is you my valentine
You're all i love my valentine..

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


omigosh!!!! i got it!! i got it!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....yay!!! like won a lottery only!! praise God!!! yesSSssss!!!! heheeh..sorry.. i found bella's lullaby piano notes!! gosh!!! sooo happy!! i'm telling you..please listen to it!! no words..just breathtaking music.. and now i have the notes..meaning..wee!! i so cant wait to play it!! just emailed my mom to print it for me.. and then!! wow..!! crazy..hehehehe..but please listen to in.. its here also..the 3rd song in my playlist..and chris..thanks a lot!! weeeee!!! i'm the happiest person..hehehe i wrote this..=)

She stares at the window..
Watching the world pass by..
So fast it seems..
As fast as the lightning..
But what's the point?
She doesn't understand what's happening..

She closes the window then..
Sick of everything she sees..
Tired of everything she hears..
She wants something for real..

So she opens the door now..
Outside she goes..
Determined to follow the wind..
Wherever it takes her..

She looks up at the sky..
The sun caught her attention..
The greatest of all they say..
Every sunrise gives a whole new hope to live..
Every sunset gives a whole new meaning to life..
Burning in fury..
It challenges everything that comes in its way..
Without it, there's no day,,
There's no light..
Like a king..
It controls the system and its friends..
But no matter how big, how great the sun is..
Its nothing more..
Than a tiny dot..
In the face of the universe..

The stars then comes to her thoughts..
So high up in the sky..
Shinning so proudly..
Saying, 'catch me if you can..'
The night they lighten up..
The lost, they show directions
Showers of blessing are poured..
Whenever they disappear..
Thousands they scatter..
All around the sky..
Mesmerizing any eyes that watches..
Such amazing creature they are..

She thought of the moon then..
Sometimes full..
Sometimes half..
Sometimes quarter..
Cant really make up its mind..
But no matter how many times..
It changes its shape, or home..
There is only one moon..
Brightening the sky..
Lighting the pathway..
Even the wolves realizes its beauty..
So far from earth it stays..
Inviting all the feast there..
For the loneliness must be dreadful..

She stops there then..
Wondering what is she??
The moon..the star..or the sun..
She sighs heavily..

The she remembers the song..

"I am a flower quickly fading..
Here today and gone tomorrow..
A wave tossed in the ocean..
A vapour in the wind..
Still you..hear me when I'm calling..
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling..
And you told me who i am..
I am yours..."

She smiled..
Satisfied with the answer given..
For she was made in the hands of a King..
She was created in the eyes of the Almighty..
There's no one else she want's to be..=)


yay!! hehe i manage to add a playlist..but unfortunately only 3 songs.. they are not really songsla.. only music.. I know its hard to concentrate when ur reading something and your favourite song in on the radio..=) so that's why..

One song is canon...its absolutely beatifully..i used to play it on the not sure la.. hehe
The other from slumdog millionaire..u know the latika's theme song..witout words..the one with the called dreams on fire..another brilliant song of cause..
And the from twilight!! Omigosh!! Edward cullen is dangerously cute!! wonder what happens if i had a vampire bf!! hehe..=p

neway I'll try finding more songs k?? hehehe..

neway gtg already..take care!! cya!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mungkin nanti..

Good afternoon ppl!! =) I saw a weird creature at my porch a while ago.. It was furry and brown.. slightly bigger than a rat..with a long curly tail..i think thats what most people call 'squirrel' ...hehe and of being me..i quickly closed the door..and didnt dare open it.. sigh.. i'm such a scary cat!! somehow i will get over this fear!! but right now i have something else to get over with..=) and this will be my last song posting..=p i hope..

Sahajaku berkata..
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya..
Sudahlah lepaskan semua..
Ku yakin inilah waktunya..

Mungkin saja..kau bukannya dulu lagi..
Mungkin saja..rasa itu telah pergi..

Dan mungkin bila nanti..
Kitakan bertemu lagi..
Satu pinta ku,
Jangan kau cuba..
Tanyakan kembali..
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati..
Seperti hari kelmarin..
Saat semua di sini..

Dan bila hati mu termenung..
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpi mu..
Membuka hatimu yang dulu..
Cerita saat bersama ku..

Mungkin saja..kau bukan yang dulu lagi..
Mungkin saja..rasa itu telah pergi..

Dan mungkin bila nanti..
Kita kan bertemu lagi..
Satu pinta ku
Jangan kau cuba..
Tanyakan kembali..
Rasa yang kutinggal mati..
Seperti hari kelmarin..
Saat semua di sini..

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi..
Simpan untuk mu sendiri..
Semua sesal yang kau cari..
Semua rasa yang kau beri..

Enter in..

He knocks at your door... Not to hurt you..Not to take away anything you have.. He knocks cause He wants to enter in..and hold you in his arms..=) If only you give Him the chance..

You lead me through each day..
Your love, it covers me..
And when i feel afraid
Your love, it covers me..
Restorer of my soul
Your love, it covers me..
Your presence makes me whole..
Your love, it covers me..

You are the King of Glory..
You're the Lord, strong and mighty..
King of Glory..enter in..
I lift my hands to heaven..
Shout aloud, sing your praises..
King of Glory..enter in..

To you I lift my soul..
My God, I trust in you..
Show me Your ways O Lord..
My God, I trust in you..
Let me not be ashamed..
My God, I trust in you..
I'll serve you all my days..
My God, I trust in you..

You are the King of Glory..
You're the Lord, strong and mighty..
King of Glory..enter in..
I lift my hands to heaven..
Shout aloud, sing your praises..
King of Glory..enter in..

Allow Him in your life...there's nothing more you need!!

100th post!!

hahahaahhahahahah..100th post dear bloggers!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Just wanna say erm..good nite take care!! god bless!!

Love you all!! muackssss!!

Wake up Juan!!

Call me crazy..but i'm dead yeah blogging again..actually i just finished watching another brilliant tamil movie..dont know wassup with me and tamil movies these days..hehe anyway as usual i was spying on other peoples blog..and amanda's blog about life..really caught my attention..hehe i promise it wouldnt be bored...and no more lyrics for this post..=) hehe

1) The mysteries of life itself..
2) Life holds many surprises for us..some maybe plesant and the rest..otherwise..=(
3) Life makes you smile and laugh at a moment..and then brings you down to unending tears another moment..
4) Life sends you the form of an important person to you..
5) And guess what??..Just when you're comfortable with it the next minute..the person is gone..=(
6) Life might not always go your way..and it makes you cry a lot..
7) But it teaches you valuable lesson..lesson you cant find anywhere else..=)
8) Everyday..whether you realize it or has something to offer..
9) Life offers you yeah grab it while you can..=)
10) If life was always perfect and good..whould you even know the meaning of happiness??
11) When life throws challenges at you.. Accept it.. you will become much stronger..=)
12) When life takes away someone that really matters to you..either thru death or separation,
....Firstly it makes you tougher..secondly, it makes you realize what you really had..and perhaps appreciate the people around you more..thirdly, it's maybe for someone new to enter your life..

If you have lost someone now, it's alright!! You have to go through your next phase in life.. Life is full of surprise remember?? and so is God!! if you keep on crying over spilt on earth are you gonna figure out the other surprises??!! who knows..maybe God has made a special yummy chocolate ice-cream, topped with melted cadbury chocolate, sprinkled with bits of ferrero rocher!! you seriously wanna miss all this?? =) just cause of the normal spoilt milk??

Just let them go..they have their own train to catch!! You consentrate on your train.. your destinations differ.. Put in practice what you have learnt from them!! treasure them deep within and leave the rest to God!!

Finally..we'd all be a fool if we think we can runaway from what life has to offer!!

so wake up Juan!! you got your own train to catch girl!! you dont wanna miss it!! do you..=p

Monday, May 25, 2009

Kenangan terindah..

weeee..3 more post to reach a 100!! hehe..neway..i know i have been sharing a lot of songs lately..but i cant help is already in my blood..i cant live without it.. and erm have you ever have sweet memories..that is left on hanging up there?? are not sure whether the real 'thing' will last or not.. but the memories of it will last forever and impossible to be deleted.. sweet or sour..they'll last.. sometimes i wish i could erase them.. some of it.. its too hard to see that its only momentary not forever..but unfortunately i failed to find that kinda eraser.. so guess this song is for all for the memories that is sweet or sour..nice or bad.. they will always my mind forever..

Its an old song as usual..but awesome words..and tune can take ur breath away..=)

Kenangan samson

Aku yang lemah tanpamu..
Aku yang rentan kerana..
Cinta yang t'lah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menanjungku..

Selama mata terbuka..
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itupun aku mampu untuk mengenangmu..

Darimu..kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku..kaula cinta sejati..

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang tebaik untukmu..
Kanku jadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku..

Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meningalkan jejak hidupku..
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah..


I visited mel's blog just now..and she has this song sang by chris tomlin called 'enough'..well i fell in love with it..the moment i heard the words...

We go after many things in this world.. we go after many people in this world.. and then we are devastated..cause our wishes are not fulfilled..our goals are not reached.. we are never satisfied..with all the little things in life.. we do not appreciate the simple people we meet... we want a reason for everything that's happening around us.. we do not want to accept any failure's or any lost..

When everything is perfect..and we have what we need..we thank, trust and praise God.. But what happens when something bad crawls in?? what happens when life treats us unfairly??... what happens when we can't find any answers??..Do we blame this on God??.. Why this?? Why that??

Why is it that we need Him only when we need something?? Why is it we praise, thank and trust Him only when its all perfect?? But chuck Him aside like a trash when He does not answer our prayers?? Why cant we do the same and praise Him in our struggles??..Infact this in the time where we are helpless..and He's all we have..we need Him more than ever..=)

Remember the footprint story?? There's only 1 pair of footprint when we are in trouble..why?? cause He is carrying us..He doesnt want even our feet to get hurt.. He is willing to mend you broken heart..and heal the wounded soul..if only you give Him the chance..=)

I have something precious with me now..and I'm telling Him that He is more than enough for me..=)

ENOUGH-Chris Tomlin..

All of you is more than enough for all of me..
For every thirst and every need..
You satisfy me with your love..
And all i have in more than enough..

You are my supply, my breath of life..
And still more awesome than i know..
You are my reward, worth living for..
And still more awesome than i know..


You're my sacrifice, of greatest price..
And stil more awesome than i know..
You're my coming are everything..
And stil more awesome than i know..


More than all i want..more than all i need..
You are more than enough for me..
More than all i know..more than all i can see..
You are more than enough for me..

All of you is more than enough for all of me..
For every thirst and every need..
You satisfy me with your love..
And all i have in more than enough..

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I'll be waiting..=)

Dramatic day...!! Slept round 2 last nite..watched this tamil movie called varnam ayirum.. gosh..i'm not really a big fan of tamil movie..but that was superb.. if only all tamil movie was like it could make a really big difference in this world..=)

anyway..went for practice this morning.. then rozanne suddenly msged and said you'll playing today..for mass.. i was like huh?? i havent played for ages.. ok i mean for a few months..and i was soo not in the mood of it is i suck in playing.. so neway..i just closed one eyes and played..

Then rozanne played the song, 'the potter's hand..' and then i couldn't take it anymore.. hehe the song was awesomely beautiful.. so i entered the adoration.. and it was magical.. i felt renewed.. like seriously..=) I was actually facing a dead end..and somehow i saw a light..and i followed it.. and that light brought me to where i am now.. able to go through this day.. played for mass.. attended my friend's 21st bday part.. with an actual smile.. Had lots of fun there.. Nithya, my friend of 13 going to kampar..sigh..

Came back home..surprise to find all not back yet.. it was already 11.30 pm.. parents went to setapak for some prayers thing sis went to SFA for the youth meeting.. and me..hehe PARTY BABY!! .. so yeah..and now I'm here happily blogging.. Well I've done all I can.. now just leave the rest to Him up there.. By the way the saying.. 'WHEN I CAN'T COPE..JESUS OFFERS HOPE' soo true..=)

So anyway.. i listened to another age old song.. gee i need to update my comp with all the latest songs..=( anyway ever heard of elliot yamin..hehe..i used to hate his name.. it sounded so arabic..and i was finding it hard to pronouce.. hehe..yeah..weird!! He sang the song ..'wait for you'..i was soo freaking crazy of this song..and i'm stil am.. so yeah..ppl put your hands together for Elliot Yamin!!! ..lolz..sorry only the lyrics..=p


Verse 1
I never felt nothing in the world this before..
Now i'm missing you
And wishing you would come back through my door..
Why did you have to go??..
You could have let me know..
So now i'm all alone..

Verse 2
You could have stayed..
But you wouldn't give me a chance..
With you not around..
And it's a little more than i can stand..
And all my tears they..
Keep running down my face..
Why did you turn away..??

Pre chorus
So why does your pride..
make you run and hide..
Are you that afraid of me??
But i know it's a lie..
What you keep inside..
This is not how you want it to be..

So baby I will wait for you..
Cause I don't know what else i can do..
Don't tell me I ran out of time..
If takes the rest of my life..

Baby I will wait for you..
If you think I'm fine..
It just aint true..
I really need you in my life..
No matter what i have to do..
I'll wait for you..

Verse 3
Been a long time since you called me..
(How can you forget about me?)
You gotta be feeling crazy..
How can you walk away??
everything stays the same..
I just cant do it baby..

Verse 4
What will it take to make you come back?
I told you what is it..and it just aint like that..
Why cant you look at me..??
You're still in love with me..
Dont leave me crying..

Pre chorus..
Baby why cant we just..
Just start over again..
Get it back to the way it was..
If you give me a chance..
I can love you right..
But you telling me it wont be enough..

So baby I will wait for you..
Cause I don't know what else i can do..
Don't tell me I ran out of time..
If takes the rest of my life..

Baby I will wait for you..
If you think I'm fine..
It just aint true..
I really need you in my life..
No matter what i have to do..
I'll wait for you..

I'll be waiting..=)

Friday, May 22, 2009


You give..
You take..
As you like..
When you like..

I wouldn't ask why..

But I just want to say..
It hurts..
More than you know..
More than you see..

One after another..
Simply brilliant!!
Just what I needed..

I do not know the plans you have for me..
I dont think i wanna know also..
Just please..
Make sure this is the last..
I beg of you..
Thats all I'm asking..=)

I will 2

This post is in relation with my previous post..Don moen-i will sing =) simply only wanna add the numbers..hehe

Anyway..I was just wondering, in acts chapter 16 .. st paul was whipped and sent to prison for preaching the word of God.. and here he did something unusual..he actually turned His prison cell..into a place of worship.. I mean if it was me..who had been beaten, falsely accused and imprisoned because of doing God's work..would i really stay up late all night just to sing praises to HIM??

To be honest..I'd be more likely giving God or the jailer a piece of my know protesting the unfair treatment against me.. I mean in my previous post..whenever i've been treated unjustly.. or something like that..all i do is complain and try to make things right.. I will of cause sound out my disagreement..

Well, st paul here did the opposite..didnt he?? He had indeed learnt to be content in any circumstances.. He has surrendered everything he God..and his only desire..was to please Him..
It was indeed Christ who gave him the strenght to endure any situation..wait..not only to overcome it..but to rejoice and glorify God in the midst of it..

And sometimes..when our own lives take a turn for the can be really difficult to understand God and his that case praise Him then!! ..

At this very moment..You may or may not be in jail.. but each of us may have a situation..where we feel bound..or trapped.. Sickness, death, failure, unemployment, addiction, broken relationships, disloyalty, betrayal, parents, friends, assignments, exams....well anything at all.. You may feel anger, hatred, sadness, regrets, lost, the edge of giving up..

Well, just take a deep breath!! Before you take another step.. maybe you should first praise God for His goodness and His mercy!'s easy for me to talk..I'm not going thru any..

Alright..I'll break the ice.. of all days.. jon asked me to cantor for him today..on ascension day!! Well I was prepared..but then towards the end..something came up.. and I couldnt do it!! I really can't..i was begging my sis to do it..but hey..does she give a damm?? well actually it was pretty high for her..and kinda late already.. And then in the car..on my way to church.. i heard this don moen song..

the part where it says..
"I will sing..I will pray.. Even in my darkest hour.. Through the sorrow and the pain.. I will sing"

Well it really touched me..
And after cantorring..i felt a lot more better.. I was prepared then.. I gathered all the lil courage i had..and threw my pride away..and faced the 'so-called' problem.. =)

Anyway..i know its hard..But if you just release you problems to Him, He will lift you up above you immediate circumstances.. Remember His promise..'they that hope in the Lord, will soar on wings like eagles..' =)

take care..god bless

Don Moen - I will sing

Lord, You seem so far away..
A million miles or feels today..
Though I haven't lost my faith..
I must confess right now..
That its hard for me to pray..

But I don't know what to say..
And I don't know where to start..
But as you give grace..
With all that's in my heart..

I will sing..
I will pray..
Even in my darkest hour..
Through the sorrow and pain..
I will sing..
I will pray..
Lift my hands to honour You..
Because your word is through..
I will sing

Lord is hard for me to see..
All the thoughts and plans you have for me..
But I will put my trust in you..
Knowing that you died to set me free..

But I don't know what to say..
And I don't know where to start..
But as you give grace..
With all that's in my heart..

I will sing..
I will pray..
Even in my darkest hour..
Through the sorrow and pain..
I will sing..
I will pray..
Lift my hands to honour You..
Because your word is through..
I will sing..

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mi amor

I have always been a big fan of spanish dramas..and also their people.. I don't know why.. I've like watched so many of them..that i sometimes do not need the know the story.. hehehe.. yeah i know crazy!! ..My all the time Mis tres Hermanas.. I saw the whole series twice.. hehe..and the song 'purest of pain' is simply beautiful.. also known as a pulo dulor..=)

Anyway..why am i suddenly talking bout spanish stuffs?? hehe..Cause i received a message from someone saying 'esta bellas mi amor' ...i was like huh?? i know my name sounds like spanish.. but i obviously dont look spanish.. not even close.. Well obviously this person must have thought im from spain..hehe ..

Well..i recognized the word mi amor.. which means 'my love' ..and somehow it sounds more beautiful when its in spanish..=) Then i know esta means 'this'..or something like that.. Now what in the world is 'bellas'?? hmmm..curiously i googled for spanish dictionary..and wanna know what bellas means?? obviously the person was blind la.. it meant 'beautiful' the direct traslation is 'this beautiful, my love' ...hehehe

Of cause, when someone compliment you...whether it's true or not.. there's this kinda special feeling.. i was thinking..'this guy must be such a flirt!' .. Then i looked back at the person's name.. is says..'Eliana Castillo' ..n i was like wait a min! Even in the malaysian world, Eliana aint a guys name.. So i viewed the persons profile... i was like what in the world!! ..The sex says female.. and above all..her birth 1955!! she's old enough to be my mom..and she's flirting with me??? ..

hmmm...i must be really good!! ...hehehe

neways have a nice day!! happy learning spanish to anyone interested!! =)

p/s te extrano y te amo, mi amor

Monday, May 18, 2009

as simple as that..

I lie down on my bed..
Starring blankly
At the four corners of the wall..
Made up of bricks..
Maybe each bricks holds a secret..
The secret of life..

I look up then..
The ceiling..
Carefully divided into parts..
Wonder what happens..
If it falls apart..
Maybe i would get the answers then..
To all my questions..

I waited..
For something to happen..
'Why so miserable?'
A voice broke the silence..
'You tell me..'
I replied..
I felt a smile shot at me

I wish I could smile back..
But I can't..though i tried..
'It's so hard!! and i don't understand it at all!!'
Then it started again..
The part where i hated the most..

'What do You want?'
I asked then..
'What you think?'
The voice replied...
I sighed...

So many obstacles..
So many trials..
I do not know where else to run..
I do not know who else to turn to..

Then it hit me..
If the Lord wants it to happen..
It will happen..
If the Lord doesn't want it to happen..
It wont..
Its as simple as that..=)

Paradise on earth..

I was checking my mail..and came across these words.. if you have no need of the MONEY... if nobody ever made you suffer.. if nobody is watching you.. if nobody is hearing you.. if it is PARADISE..on earth..

Stand UP!! now WALK!! and LIVE!!

Last night i attended the Sunday choir practice in church.. and we had prayers for one of our choir member who is suffering from multiple sclerosis..*sigh*

Well sometimes..we must have wondered why do such things happen? Why must he or she suffer..? what wrong did they deserve a life of pain and misery? ..How exactly God works?? We do not know... We wish that it was us who's suffering..cause it will be a lot easier.. But no.. God didnt choose us..neither can we choose to suffer.. He decides..what happens when and to who..

He puts sickness in a person...and He wants us to pray for them.. but what happens.. when our prayers aren't answered...and the person is brought back to Him?? I do not have the answer.. but maybe all He wants us to this..

I will come to you in the silence..
I will lift you from..all your fears..
You will hear my voice..
I claim you as my choice..
Be still and know..I am here..

I am hope for all..who are hopeless..
I am eyes for all who long to see...
In the shadows of the night..
I will be your light..
Come and rest in me..

Do not be afraid..I am with you..
I have called you name
Come and follow me..
I will take you home...
I love you and you are mine..

I am strength for all the despairing..
Healing for the ones..who dwells in pain..
All the blind will see..
The lame will all run free..
And all will know my name..

I am the word that leads all to freedom..
I am the peace the world cannot give..

This is actually a song are mine... It always comforts when i'm in despair..
He is the One Healer that heals..
He is the One Doctor that cures...
He is the One Saviour that saves..

All you have to do is ask..=)
God bless and have a nice day..

Sunday, May 17, 2009

home sweet home

gosh i missed you!!..yes you!! a week and 2 days without almost drove me crazy... well now i'm back..i hope i won't leave you again k??..hehehe..

anyway..guess what happen??..MY PC aint working!!!...*sigh* ..can u believe it?? of all days it has to happen when i'm on my 3 weeks break!! movies, my songs...!! haizzzz.. cause of the wonderful rain..and thunder!! it burnt the motherboard... my heart broke..when i heard the news.. i love my PC more than anything..*sobs..sobs* ..ok Juan..stop being materialistic!!

oh yeah..and i got my 2nd mobile postpaid bill that day..hehe..wanna guess how much??..well i dropped dead la..the soon i heard it!! i can't believe i used that much.. i mean i know it will be high..but not that high!! ..should have controlled.. erm..oh yeah..its 117 bucks!! ..thank god i wasnt at home..or else my mom would have skinned me alive..=(

Nothing much changed at home.. mom though after the shocking bill news..was extremely sweet to me..she did mention it once or twice..but thats it.. Dad as usual.. my sis..dont ask.. even worst than usual.. oh yeah..we got a one day maid.. hehehe..

well..what happen in kluang?? hehehe..i think i will officially declare myself as a housewife without a husband..erm..wait..what do you call a wife witout a husband?? err..they're not even called wife in the first place..ok i'm crapping again..hehe

so i get up early every morning..have breakfast..say my prayers..and i'm stuck in the kitchen.. joke!! ..i learnt to cook a lot..but i forgot everything.. actually it aint that hardla..the same technique for all.. you know the basic..onion, garlic, oil, ginger...bla bla.. the one thing bout indian that we have spices..and my grandma has a whole drawer of them.. err i can't remember even half of it..they all have weird names..=)

we'll wait for my cousins to come back from school..and then have lunch together..=) after that i'll settle down to watch 'the good old days'..a chinese NTV 7.. my mom, sis and me was crazy of this drama a few years back..i think i was 9 at that time.. they use to show it in TV3..6pm-7pm ..hehe..err dont ask why! it was addictive..

then we have a short nap..and we're back doing work again!! sometimes i curi-curi play the swing!!hehe..lotsa memories in that brown old swing ..neway we work as in we do gardening!! grandma has a big garden at the side of her house..its really huge!! which explains the existence of weird bugs in her house..=(

and then we take our bath..after a short half an hour drama..we'll take our places to say the rosary..hehe...and then we heat up the food..and eat!!

in johore, they sleep extremely bout 10pm..cause have to get up at 5.30am ...well, i used to sleep at 3am n get up at 5.30am ..=) guess people in kluang are a bit more disciplined..=) anyway..i obviously not used to sleeping that yeah..i'll watch tv till its 1am..and call it a night..=) yeah..that's basically my life in kluang..and can you believe that i was online-less for about 9 days?? Lol...hehehe..

i'll update more k?? take care..god bless..

Thursday, May 7, 2009

This i promise you

Just when everything seems so perfect..something is surely wrong somewhere..*sigh*
Who can every understand His ways...

Anyway..I'm done with exams..=) but i don't really have mood to enjoy.. God knows why.. I'm going to Johore tomorrow!! ..weeeee...he doesn't know I'm coming..going to surprise him..hehe.. gee..i hope he doesnt read this....hehe...pretty sure he wont..=)

This for you..

THIS I PROMISE YOU..-Ronan Keating

My love..
Here I stand before you..
I am your's now..from this moment on
Take my hand..
Only you can stop me shaking..
We'll share forever..this i promise you..

And when i look in your eyes..
all of my life is before you..
I'm not running anymore...
cause i already know i'm home..
With every beat of my heart..
i give you my love completely..
My darling..this i promise you..

My love..
I can feel your heartbeat..
As we dance now..closer than before..
Dont let go..
Cause i could almost cry now..
This is forever..I make this vow to you..

And when i look in your eyes..
all of my life is before you..
I'm not running anymore...
cause i already know i'm home..
With every beat of my heart..
i give you my love completely..
My darling..this i promise you..


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

50 little secrets..=p

Glynn tagged me in facebook book for this..=)

50 Little Secrets.
Be honest no matter what, then tag at least ten friends

01. Who was your last text from?
- Kevin...*no need to know what he said* =p

02. Where was your default picture taken?
- erm...cant really pics always turn out good..=p

03. Your relationship status?
- in a relationship..and LOVING IT!! ..=D

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
- nope...never lost a friend...and never want to..

05. What is your current mood?
- Happy...cause of him... frustrated..coz of tomorows last paper..

06. How many siblings do you have?
- 1 miserable one..=p

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
- Christine Maryanna....i kinda like her name..*dont tell her* =p

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
- with him...

09. Have a crazy side?
-oh yeah baby...all the time..=p

10. Ever had a near death experience?
- hehehehehe...i guess

11. Something you do a lot?
- laugh...

12. Angry at anyone?
- at the moment..nope..

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
- nothing..i already have him..=)

14. When was the last time you cried?
- erm..can't my life is that good huh?? whats the catch here..

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
- yup...

16. What you think about when you are falling asleep?
- Lol..obviously its himla..

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- my mom...asking me to make tea..=)

18. What is your favorite song?
- erm..BREATHLESS!! by shayne ward

19. What are you doing right now?
-waiting for 'the nanny' to start..=)

20. Who do you trust right now?
- God....and him..

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
- my aunt...she got it from Australia..

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
- hehehehehe....yup

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
- erm..nithya..sorry i live in a really secluded area..=p

24. Describe your life in one word?

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
- getting this quiz done...

26. What should you be doing right now?
- studying!!

27. What are you listening to?
- this i promise you by ronan keating..

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
- saha..

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
- my sis..who else..=p

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
-not really..erm..i dont know..never realized..=)

31. What is your natural hair color?
- black...=)

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
- the guy from early edition..

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
- erm...nobody..=)

34. What do you hear?
- the ceiling fan..what??..sorry to disappoint you but i really don't hear voices..=p

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
- straight..i guess

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
- dont think so..or

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
- yup..

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
- hahah..i am big fan of them..=)

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
- hehehehe...yes..and full further information..=p

41. Are you happy with life right now?
- YEAH!!

42. Are you currently jealous?
- hehehe..nope

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
-ahahahaha..nothing!! yeah i am honest...not really a fan of them..unless im out..that also the 3 for RM10 earrings..=)

44. What were you doing on Friday night?
- erm...oh yeah...went for mass, holy hour..youth meeting..came back home and studied econs..=)

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
- yeah...but it doesn't really matter anymore..

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
- i guess...

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
- nope..

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
-chicken pox!!...=(

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
-2.30 sis forced me to watch BOLT with her..=)

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
- nope..but i am going to date someone for live...or wait..until i get married i will date him..=p

heheheehe...tag yourself guys!!
quite fun..=)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Genuine heart and simple smile more paper to go baby!!..and i'm done..=) after econs paper, cheng yee and charlene sent me to the bus station near Mahsa College as usual..i was there as usual...watching the cars pass by..wondering how nice if i was in one of those cars..feeling the cool air-cond blowing at my face..the heavenly music coming out from those speakers..the comfortable soft seats..okey Juan..come back to earth girl!! Be grateful for the delicate aroma of the waste..and the polluted air.. not to mention the tiny droplets of sweat wetting my blouse..and of cause who can forget the sight of watching every single human with ear-phones in their ears..but not me..CAUSE I LOST MY MP3!! ..ok to be more sister's mp3 *sigh*

Alright..I'm getting out of topic here..anyway as i was watching the cars past by..i saw some kinda long stick falling down from a tree not very far from my first i though it was the know the tree that lets down weird flowers..i think its the red jambu tree..hehe..anyway..i looked more closely..and i was like..'is that rain' ...i looked in front of me again...there's no rain..and suddenly..its like someone watering the plants...just like started raining..!! it was so sudden..and it wasn't was RAINING HEAVILY!!

Pity this guy..who was on his bicycle..rush for shelter..under the bus stop...(where i was) while i was busy taking out my umbrella.. this old aunty in her motorbike..came in like a thunder..well i couldn't see her face at first..and she started talking to me suddenly..she was like 'so sudden the rain'..i just smiled..and then she took our her helmet..and her sun glasses..i was a little shocked.. ok this is how she sunken and small eyes..another big and normal eyes.. she had some kinda wound near her mouth..'i wouldn't call it wound' it was something like a really old scar that has turned black..and in a 3D form..and it was almost covering her cheek.. i kept on smiling..and acted normal..

And guess what??...she is one of the most friendliest aunty i've ever met!! ..i got to know that her son or was it a bro...has migrated to Australia..and her niece.. is in US...and she said that she was just after her eye check-up..saw the sun shinning so brightly..and there's no sign of rain..she decided to head back home..and yeah..God works in his own time..*she told me this* =) she said..'its ok to receive showers of blessing once in a while'.. hehe..then she asked me..'are you a christian?' ...i said yes..and she went on..she said 'im a catholic and i go to SFX' ...i smiled even wider..well i could have told her my story..unfortunately the bus arrived by then..i told her bye and nice meeting you..

well amazing isn't it?? How one with an unexpected face..but the purest of the all the hearts... and how she is not ashamed to show herself to the world.. She must have been in a really bad accident..but what?? ...That aint stopping her from being who she is...

Sometimes..when we are blinded by the materials in this hey, how does my hair looks like?? ...or should i apply more make up??...or is my face too oily?? ..there are people out there who wants to seek our attention..not by what then have..or how they look like.. but by simply being who they are.. they do not need, a CHRISTINE DIOR eye shadow..or a REVLON lipstick..or a GUESS get our attention...all they have is a genuine heart and a simple smile..which turns out to be the best of the best in this world..=)

take care and have a nice day!!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Vocation sunday

ok..i am so done studying!! i studied a lot!! hehe...its only 5 freaking chapters..on 2nd thoughts..that is kinda a lot.=p..but I'm glad my brains finally absorbing stuffs just by reading it once..or else it will be taking me ages..

hmm..what am i to blog about today?? anyway today is vocation Sunday.. i attended mass.. and it was awesomely beautiful..i really like my church..and the people..not to mention the CHOIR!! hehe ..but seriously HFC rocks!! weeeee...!! During sermon..instead of Fr William himself giving the homily..he invited a nun..from the Good Shepherd share her life story..

I admire her...cause she never gave serving the Lord.. Many obstacles she faced.. Many temptation she went trough.. and not to must have hurt her boy friend a lot..when she decided to become a nun..

And i still don't know what HE wants me to do.. Just when everything seems to be wouldn't be official unless there is a twist somewhere..
He gave me the perfect guy..together with a lot of unanswered questions..

How nice if I was like Mother Mary... God sent an angel..told her the plan HE had for her.. It would be so much easier if our lives we're like that too..but since its not.. guess it has to be the 'trial and error' method..*sigh*

Sometimes..maybe it's better if we don't know the plans i guess.. Cause we learn to decide.. if it's wrong we learn to amend the mistakes.. if we fall..we learn to rise again.. so if we do not know what's gonna happen in our lives..WE LEARN TO TRUST IN GOD...

i guess that's what he's trying to tell him..have faith in Him...He knows whats best..!!


Friday, May 1, 2009

How special you are..

weee...i finally cleaned my table!! hehe..i've always wanted to..but hey..procrastination has never and will never work!!...i just had to get my accounts notes out of my sight!! i wanted to throw up every time i look at it..hehe so yeah..i packed every notes in a plastic bag..kept all my brushes which i hope i wont be needing them anymore..*please Lord, please tell me I'm done with arts* sobs..sobs.. and my table is now squeaky clean..=D I'm planning to sell my first semester foundation book...anyone interested? leave me a message..=)

You know whats the good thing about cleaning? You get to throw away all the rubbish and stuffs you don't need anymore..well it's not only also find stuffs which you thought you'll never find..hehe..this time..i found my love and life file... Love and life is an awesome rally, retreat, camp, seminar..whatever you call it..which i attended 2 years back.. I learn a lot..met a lot of people as well.. It was really worth while..and you can only attend it once in your lifetime..which i glad i did./=)

Anyway..i found a meaningful poem in this file..would like to share to everyone out there..=)

Your presence is a PRESENT to the world..
You're UNIQUE and one of a kind..
Your LIFE can be what YOU WANT it to be..
Take the days just ONE at a time..
Count your BLESSINGS, not your troubles
You'll MAKE IT THROUGH, whatever comes along..
Within you are so many ANSWERS..
DON'T put limits on yourself..
So many DREAMS are waiting to be REALIZED..
DECISIONS are too important to leave to chance..
Reach for your PEAK, your GOAL, your PRIZE..
NOTHING wastes more energy than worrying..
The LONGER ones carries a problem, the heavier it gets..
DON'T take things too seriously..
LIVE a life of SERENITY, NOT a life of regret..
REMEMBER that a little love goes along the way..
Remember that A LOT..goes FOREVER..
Remember that FRIENDSHIP is a wise investment..
Life's treasures are people..TOGETHER..
Realize that it's NEVER too late..
Do ordinary things in an EXTRAORDINARY way..
Take the TIME to wish upon a star..
And DON'T forget..for even a day..

hehe..nice or not ??
lol..anyway have a nice day!!
god bless..