Stuck like glue!

Ok honestly, I've been super duper busy this past few days.. like really extremely buzy.. sighh..yes, you guessed it last minute work again.

This is just to inform you.. That I am very much alive.. and feeling alive..having so much of things to do, keeps you occupied and less thinking..=)

But I have 3500 words assignment due tomorrow.. I don't know how.. but damm, I got to pull it off real quickly!

Lord, please don't take this oppurtunity to teach me a lesson.. I kina need all the help I can..;p

and oh oh.. this song is AWESOME!!

There you go making my heart beat again..

Heart beat again.. heart beat again.

There you go making me feel like kid..

Won't you do it.. do it..one time

There you go, pulling me right back in..

Right back in.. right back in..

And I know.. I'm never letting go..

Stuck like glue..

You and me, baby we're stuck like glue..

Stuck like glue..

You and me, baby we're stuck like glue..

hehe..I like it! ..oh well, till I find someone to sing it too..

Wow, I think I heard the most bueatiful song ever.. You should listen to it too.. ohh do listen to HOPE 94.5 ~Music for the heart~..

Someone you care about
has a broken heart
you want to be a friend
but you don't know where to start
there are other words to say that could ever be enough
how can you show then your love

Chorus:
Help somebody cry
be there for their tears
God will use your life
to show that he is near
there's no easy way
to make it feel alright
you don't have the answer a while
help somebody cry

verse ii:

Time may heal the wound
but that doesn't matter now
so lend a friend your faith
walk them through the dark

chrous....

bridge
sometimes theres something you can do
but hold somebodys hand and
break them through
yeah

there are other words to say that could ever be enough
how can you show then your love

Give it to God

And I logged in tumblr after ages.. and I found the best thing ever..=)

Amen!!

The panic attacks for the day.. =(

Oh no, you don't wanna know what happen today.. =) ...neither am I in the mood for story time..

But well on my way to class, my mom called me said, "Juan you got to blog about today.." ..I swear I thought I was dreaming..for thats the last thing my dear mom would have said to me..why? cause my family doesn't read my blog and neither do they like the idea of me sitting and writting nonsense..;p hehe but then suddenly, there was a fall at the back of the train.. a girl fainted..and thats when I realized.. wow, this is NOT a dream..

So yes, since my mom asked me too.. I will =)

So it was a fine day in the morning..till I saw SEVEN miss calls from mom.. lol... oh well, its normal actually.. she called to say that A TRAIN HAD DERAILED in KTM.. hence all train is delayed 40 minutes! .. so she asked me to leave early.. and yes, my mom thinks I'm 12 instead of 21..=) ..and yeap, AS USUAL.. ktm and its nonsense.. and yes, its time I write to the press about this! ..grrr

So anyway, I had my group meeting at 9.30a.m. ...and left home about 7.45a.m. ...but well, the ORANGE KANCIL is officially dead.. meaning I need to take the MINI bus to the train station ..and then I realized, gee I better take out some change to pay the bus fella..

And so I started digging and digging my polka dots bagpack.. Continued digging and digging.. but of cause, there was no sign of my purse.. My PURSE! ..I have my whole life in there k. and I can't go ANYWHERE witout it.. and please don't get any wild imaginations in hiding my purse or whatsoever.. I'll hunt you down, I promise! =)

So I rushed back home.. almost losing my mind.. searched for my purse high and low.. and called my mom, she was my last hope.. but then when she said NO, I know its time to prepare my funeral arrangements.. so one last time I checked my bag.. and well, MY PURPLE PURSE was in there!! ..I don't know how I missed it, but it was in there.. yes I cursed my careless-ness and thank God that my life was now in my hands..

So I went back and waited for the MINI BUS ..waited and waited.. waited again.. No sign.. it was 8.30 already.. and then the uncle who sell's the newspaper every morning..told me that there was no sign of the mini bus today!! I'm like.. "YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING!!" ..how is that possible?? ..you can just simply cancel public transport like that?? ..they must have some law against this!! .. and hence my second panic attack..

But of cause, it didn't hit me at that time..so I naive-ly believed the uncle..and started walking.. just went I took about 14 steps, above the overhead bridge.. there i saw a YELLOW AND BLUE BUS!! ,...yeap, the mini bus was right there.. in front of my eyes.. but there was nothing I can do, but watch it with a smile on my face.. and unless I have miracle wings that could take me to the bus on time.. which we all know, is never gonna happen.. so yeah, dont you all LOVE my life as well?? lol

So I started walking... and that's exactly when I SNAPPED!! ..lol.. yes like literally SNAPPED.. I mean like come on, how long more is one going to be tested??.. and there comes all the EMO-NESS.. I started questioning.. everything in my mind, I questioned..on the verge of bursting, I just walked as fast as I could and well you don't really wanna be my friend when I'm having my moods.. I can make both our lives miserable!! hehe ..and hence my third panic attack..

And guess what? I actually reached the station in less that 15 minutes!! ..hehe..usually its more than 20 minutes.. but wow, guess you have to be a bit emo, whenever you decided to walk! hehe

So anyway, when I arrived in KTM, it was packed!! ..like really PACKED! ..and of all days, the touch n' go wasn't working..and yeap I can't possibly love my life any better..

And if I missed the train this time.. I'll probably jump in front of the next train that comes..oh trust me, at the state i was in.. anything is possible! ..hehehe..

But finally I saw a light in my life.. hehe.. the train was there, the moment I arrived! ..and I was in uni by 9.45am!! ..

So yesh, thats basically it..yes I know. I have the tendency to be over-dramatic.. to exagerate.. but well sometimes in life, its the little things that paint you the bigger picture.. and unless you make it dramatic, you will never know..;p

To say or not to say..

This is one of the rare occasion where I'm blogging twice, back-to-back.. why? because I can't seem to do my report!! ..Something else always gets in the way..=(( ..and you wanna know what is the report about? ..well, ITS ALL ABOUT FACEBOOK!!...hehehe.. shouldn't be that hard considering the fact that facebook happens to be the new lifestyle..

Hmm.. so let's talk. Like really talk. I haven't been able to chat, besides crapping from A-Z here.. like now. err.. Alrite, I'll stop! ..

And well, so I've been thinking ..you know like really thinking..lol ceehh like gonna breakup only! ..heheh and aahh nevermind.. I think its time to start keeping things to myself.. lol.. too public!! ..=)

And on the other side of the world.. I'm dying to well.. to SAY it out laud..

And John Mayer also said, "Its better to say too much than never to say what you need to say again.."

hmmm...

But its just waaaayy tooo complicated!! =(

And well, on the 8th of MARCH.. if you happen to be a UCSI student..or happen to pay me a visit.. please wear PURPLE!! ..hehehe yeap! its INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY!! ..and well, the theme colour is my favourite! =))

And do come and support our DANCE! ..at night! MPH.. will update more on this k?

When life knocks you down..

Its hard to see the pain behind that mask..
Bearing the burden of the secret storm..
Sometimes she wishes she was never born..


Through the wind and the rain..
She stands hard as a stone..
In a world that she can't rise above..
But her faith gives her hope..
And she flies to a place where she's loved..


A statue stands in a shaded place..
An angel girl with an upturned face..
Her name is written on the polished rock..
A broken heart that the world forgot..

*Concrete Angel~Martina Mcbride*

Because sometimes, when words fail to describe how you feel.. when you just stare at the moving window in the train with a blank mind.. when you've got a heart that is totally numb.. when you've forgotten when the last time you smiled, for real.. when life knocks you down, till your in no position to stand..

that's exactly when you kneel and say, "Lord, in case You're wondering... You happen to have this lost child here, the one who thinks she-can-do-it but she can't..she really can't!! ..=((.. and if You hear me.. please do something!! ...

Amen!

The dance!

Ever felt like, suddenly, you don't know who you are? ..Like a stranger, to your very own self??

Weird, very weird.. and honestly, I don't know if I can ever find myself again..=((

Anyway, skip the emo-ness.. lets PARTAYY!! heheh

So I danced yesterday..=) lol.. Ok I guess I just spoilt the surprise! ..but oh my.. I DANCEEDD!! ..heheh.. and oh, you have no idea how it feels to know that you can actually do something..that you never even thought for a bit that you had the guts to do it..=) and oh my, Juan actually danced..?? ..oh well, the little girl is all grown up!! ..hehehe..;p ;p

But well, I have no time to go on the details..but I assured you I had fun.. XD ..we danced all night, till sun came up! ..err.. not exactly I had to leave already and face Mr Kumaran the next day.. and yes, I think this lecturer of mine officially hates me. I mean, so what if my hair is in a mess, or my earrings are funny? ..lol.. oh yeshh.. he announced it in front of everyone! ..=(( ...but well, its mind over matter.. I don't mind and you don;t matter..=)

He's not that bad actually.. he gave me good marks! ..lol.. but well, I still think Written Discourse is the stupidest subject on earth! ...why? ..talk to me and I'll give you a list..=) Right now I'm running out of time..

and oh, let me tell you a secret.. I semangatly, grabbed a glass of beer last night.. and I didn't even drink half of it.. yiikess.. God knows what brand is it.. it tasted like.. like hmm.. I can't describe it..lol

And oh dancing!! ..heheh.. somtimes its worth to shake what your momma gave you eh?! ..Well, if you got it, then flaunt it..;p ;p ..but honestly, dancing with the right group of ppl is not bad! ..=)

anyway since my blog is full of words.. here's something absolutely gorgeous for your eyes to feast upon! ..;p ;p

Me in red, Sudha in blue and Sam in purple! ..=)

Oh and well, I can't figure out how to safe pics from FB!!.. I'll post more, once I figure it out k? =)

Good night then..

"Who's the father?" ..;p

Ok I'm having that stupid nauseating feeling AGAIN!!!! ..like giler-giler..siighh.. why does fate choose to always pick on me?? Yes, I'm aware that I' special..but still...grrr..now the sight and smell of food disgust me! ..My cousin entered my room with a green apple..and I had to chase him off! ..ssiighh..

And randomly, I created this scene in my head...

He grabbed her wrist and pinned her to the wall. Raging with anger, he looked straight into her eyes and asked, "Who's the father??" ...He knew she was hiding something. He wanted to know the truth and he wanted it now, for his life depended on it. Pint silence covered the room like a grey cloud for even when a tiny pin fell, it could be heard.
She dropped her head, trying to fight the tears in eyes, the lump in her throat made it harder to answer. She took a deep breath, knowing she has to face him.. sooner or later. 

Lol, yes, I can be very lifeless at times.. but well, at least it takes away the nausea and distracts my attention.. heheh and nope, the girl in there aint me.. neither do I know who's the father.. hmm.. maybe I should start writing stories again..

So anyway, I was so semangatly, finishing my KOREAN POP.. however.. this damm nausea is driving me nuts.. hence, the urgent need to blog..;p

Anyway, speaking fate. I realise, no matter how much you try, you can;t possibly fight fate. You cant possibly fight God's will. If its meant for you, it is yours. If not, well look at the brighter side.. there's always something better coming up. =)

err, ok I shall leave! ..

The problems..

Oh Goddd.. somebody kill me..like right now??!!

Cause, my lecturer just send me an e-mail asking us to present on the next class??? ..Gosh, we just had our first discussion!! Haven't even built the skeleton yet,..and you want us to present the "body??" !! ..aaiiyyoo how now?? ..and the worst thing is, in the "sent" part in the email.. there was only my email add, and someone else's!! ..How is that fair?? ..sighh.. I mean yes, it's great to be the "chosen" one.. but really, right now I'd rather jump in front of a train than having to present, unprepared!! ..err, too  much of Bruno Mars "grenade"..;p Lol, and I think his pretty cute eh.. Haiwaiian mix.. sexxaayy..;p ;p

oopss, off track! And well, you know me and presentations never-got-along.. The only thing that runs into my mind while presenting is that, "Gee, what I have trip and fall? What is my skirt decides to unbuckle??..What is there's chocolate stain on my teeth when I begin to present??"" ..ssiighh.. Yes, I was born with a very low self esteem.. I'll change, someday.. I hope so..=(

And I saw this in tumblr.. and it made me go like, "WOW!!" ..So I modified and came up with my own..=)
Yeap, I have tonnes of work to do, but well, blogging is like eating and bathing.. and you can't possibly forget to eat or bath rite? =)

• You complaint about the acne on your face..someone out there lost their eye sight..
• You complaint about the rise on cigarette pricing.. well, someone is struggling for a roof above their head!
• You want a boyfriend..someone doesn't even have parents..
• You're hungry.. well a child is staving....
• You want to go "SHOPPING!!" .. someone out there is looking for anything they can wear, to stay warm..
• You complaint about finding for a parking space.. some don't even have slippers to protect their feet..
• You say, "the weather is tooo hott!!" ..well, some is looking for clean water to quench their thirst..
• You complaint about the assignments overload..some can't even read..
• You complaint about the priest in church.. and some have to celebrate mass underground..or else they'll get shot..
• You say KTM is full of sh!t.. oh well, some walk a hundred miles..just to get their work done..
• You dump your baby..or go for an abortion.. well someone is weeping terribly cause they can't have a child of their own..
• Someone broke your heart and left you to bleed..well, someone else is dying, cause they need a heart replacement..
• You feel like dying.. some just wants to live!!

Uh huh.. we dont really realize these things.. but it happens actually.. We think we have the biggest problem on earth.. but someone out there is suffering much more than you can imagine! ..=)

But remember, no matter how big your problem is! ..you always have a bigger GOD!..who is ever willing to carry them on HIS shoulders!

Amen!

The valentine kid! ..=)

Haaapppeeee valentiinnessss day!! hehehe..

No I didn't have the most awesome-est valentines day!..but I fell in love all over again!! ..=))

hehe oh yes I did ..=) Adorable, probably the sweetest thing on earth.. and yes its lil Bernadette!! ...You could just stare at that big black with the longest eye lash ever existed, forever.. and her expression, her smile..though she lost a tooth, her laugh, her annoying voice..her mickey mouse hairband which she made me wear.. and yes I was walking around Kajang..with two pink mousey ears with lights on my head.. and they were still checking me out!!! ..hehe,,wooww.. I'm good!! ..;p ;p or they were just wondering, "gee, is she for real??" ..hmmm

hehehe..so anyway, why is it so magical and stress free to be with a child..?? Because, they do not keep grudges, they do not judge..they do not tell you what your suppose to do..and what you shouldnt.. and sometimes all you need a listenning ear..and its the greatest help on earth! ..=) well yes,you can even tell them your problems..and all they'll do is look with that innocent face and say, "don't be sad.." ..lol.. oh yes, thats what bernadette told me.. and once I even told her, "Bernadette, I'm soo depressed!!..and of cause she asked so sweetly, and enthusiastically, "What is depressed??." She asked in a such manner than I didn't feel depressed anymore..=)

And today.. she actually made for my mom and dad a valentines day card!! ..My mom was sooo surprised, she almost teared.. for even her own daughters didnt get her anything..;p ;p hehe..

And also, today I think I'll fail to be a good mom la k!! ..lol.. why? well, lets just keep that to myself and away from the public.. but seriously, I'm probably the dumb-est ever human alive.. err ok I shouldn't have said that.. but well.. sometimes you just have to be human and stop pretending you're so perfect..=)

But of cause, when they choose to be annoying and a pain... they can really tear you apart..and test every single nerve in your body.. You can feel your head bursting..irratated to the max.. .but then you just take a deep breath and say, "she's just a child..it can't be that hard!!" ..and then you just have this thing, "Seriously, can I be a good parent??!!"...

Oh well, but they're probably the bestest gift in a woman's life.. =)

err...and again, happy valentines day!! ..

The extraordinary friday ...

Ahemmm.. ehehehe... I'm drossy, dizzy, sleepy.. unfortunately I can't for lil bernadette is still not here yet! ... She's spending the sunday here..and its 12.00am already.. sigh..

Anyway I forgot to tell ya'll one important story! ..hehe.. yeap, its story time again..=)

So yesterday, was a pretty normal day. Written Discourse is probably the worst subject ever existed! And to top it all..we had a quiz yesterday! ..God knows, how I did..hopefully not that bad..hmm..Seriously, writting is pretty simple actually.. but why make is soo complicated that now your beginnning to hate writting?? ..sigh.. UCSI is surely making a lot of many by making us take unnecessary subject..hmmph!!

Anyway, write after that, we had dance practice together with sam, sudha, vashi, sukhbir and kash..and I had to leave early as I was commentating for Our Lady of Lourdes Feast day..=)

I was estatic to see UCSI bus was there the moment I arrived..oh trust me, the bus takes ages to come! ..grrr.. I jumped in the bus, surprised to see it was rather empty. Popped in my ear phones and blasted the music.. and right at that moment.. I saw this guy..hehe.. oh well some guy which kinda caught my attention.. but of cause.. I was clearly invisible to him for he didnt even glance..sighh.. and at the same time the song "Today was a fairy tale"..was on play... and I went like, "Yeah rite!!"..hehe..and I dozed of after that.. Slept awhile..and the next thing I knew.. it was 3.05 already!! ..I've been in the bus for 20  mins and it stll didn't budge! ..I needed to catch the 3.13 train in KTM or else I'll have to wait for another 30 mins..sigh..

And at about 3.10pm..finally the bus moved.. and of cause, of all days there will be a heavy traffic on that particular day.. and a day where KTM decides to come exactly ON TIME! ..and yeap, I was 2 minutes late..hence the train LEFT! ..and another 30 minutes of, "Oh-I-hate-my-life" time..=((..I was hungry, sleepy and I havent prepared my commentary yet..siigghhh..

So I waited and waited..and the train was on time again.. Alleluaia!! ...I couldn't wait to reach home!! ..and when Kajang arrived, I was a happy child again..XD

And then I saw someone.. Crystal's mom was in the same train that I was in.. I waved at her..and chatted with her for a bit.. She was walking rather slow than usual..and when I asked her a few times if she needed a lift.. She said its ok..she'll grab a cab..as crystal's house is on the other corner of the world..lol..

So I moved on, with my walking pace..till something made me turn and ask again, "Aunty, are you sure, you don't wanna a lift back? I wouldn't mind.." and finally she said, "Maybe you could just send me to town. I need to go to the clinic. I'm not feeling that well.." ..So I told her to wait at the bus stop..while I go and get my orange kancil! ..hehehe

I was silently, praying and hoping to God..that the Kancil wouldn't give me any problem! ..And aahh..finally at least one of my prayer was heard for the day..hehe.. It was all perfect. =) I fetched Crystal's mom, and when she got in, she told me to send her back home..and she was really weak and would ask her son, to send to the clinic later..

On our way, I bet Crystal's mom was holding her breath everytime I put on a sudden break. lol..My driving aint that bad.. but you tend to get nervous, when someone is around you.. hehe.. ok ok, I'll admit! ..I'm probably the worst driver ever existed.. seriously, I should have died long time ago..but well, maybe God thought I was better of here on earth..than up there.. hence He spared my life..=) so better make sure you have an inssurance before asking me to drive..hehe

So on our way, it was like talking to Crystal's clone!! ...hehe.. Seriously, the same voice, the same enthusiasm.. the same tone. the same excitement.. and she was also telling me the health problem she was facing.. hmm

And on my way back home I wondered.. wow.. I just said, "WOW!!!" ..because if the bus left earlier or if I didn't miss the the 3.13pm train.. Crystal's mom, would have struggled to gone back home..=((

And no, I'm not braggin or praising about myself.. but seriously, God's plan is AWESOME!! ..

Crystal's mom must have prayed and wondered about her transport home and  in the pain that she was going through..wow, I can't imagine..hmm and of all days, I had to back home early today, and I also choose to drive instead of following my sister to UNI..and well I missed the train, but, well who would ever thought of something like this?? ..
 
Its like peices of puzzles joined in together to complete the picture.. and WOWWWW!! I think its brilliant. Really Lord, You amaze me, all the time you know.. Like you made me go through everything..and then you put a smile at the end of it.. BRILLANT! ..=)

And I was right after all.. nothing is coincidence... everything happens for a reason!

The escape of a lost soul..

Oh yes.. its no more written dreams!! ..=(

Why?? sssiighhh.. its a long and sad story.. well anyway, say hello to ,"THE ESCAPE OF A LOST SOUL!!" ..hehe..honestly, it took me like about 2 hours...and i changed the background about like 100 times!..lol.. anyway, I gtg ady!

tty soon eh! ..=))

Friends

Ok something is so wrong with the pink mobile! ..grrrr! Apparently my security code is WRONG!! ..grrr.. how is that possible..I've been using the same code for the pass 2 months.. sighhh.. anyone faced the same problem and then manage to solve it?? do let me know..=((

So anyway.. I was wondering about friends..

Friends..hmm.. yes friends.. we talk, we laugh, we have luch, we hang out..and oh yes, we gossip! ..;p ;p ..

But yes friends.. honestly, do we really know them?

• They smile when you're around..but how you'd know if its genuine?

• They talk to you, like your their bestest friend ever.. and at your back, who knows, what they're telling others??

• They tell you stories..and how many of the stories real and not made-up??

• They put on a laugh, a smile.. but what are they hiding up inside?? A deep secret that they rather not say to anyone?? or perhaps loneliness??

• They put on a show..because that's how it is.. If there's no drama.. no one wants to friends with them.. And everyone would think they're boring.. hmmm

• And what about the ones that tries to fit in.. You change, who you are, who you were..the way you speak, they way you dress... just to fit in??

• And the ones who are quiet.. the hi, bye ones... what exactly is going through their mind when they see you.. err.. could it be, "Oh God, please don't let her see me.. please let her pass by witout talking!!" ..
• And the ones, who knows you.. but not even a single smile.. not even a word.. how is it possible? You've been friends and really good friends before..and now, complete strangers? ..Do they regret, or is it just "pay-back time?!"
• And then the friends who recognizes you..only when they need your help?? ..hmm.. why?? what's wrong in being friends..and just friends? No expectation, no judgements..nothing. just friends!

And indeed, the many faces of human.. the many masks they wear to hide their true colours.. hmm.. but well, phil colins, says it beautifull here..

"I see your true colours shinning through.. 

I see your true colours and that's why I love you.. 

So don't be afraid to let them show your true colours.. 

true colours are beautiful like a rainbow.."

Why can't friends be just friends?? Why can't humans, just like themselves for who they are..?? Seriously, if you think people will NOT  like you..for YOU.. then let it be.. =) Honestly, let it be.. So what of they don't like you..for you?? It's their loss anyway..for not many dare to be who they are.. and well you know, when you just smile.. smile genuinely from deep within.. even the most arrogant clown will melt!! ..=) ..oh well, if he doesn't ..he must have had a depressed childhood..;p

Yes I do realize, you cannot change a person, you cannot make someone adhere to your beliefs.. because as everyone says it, "its your life..!!" ..hmm.. there is just something wrong somewhere..

oh and well, you know what else kills me?? ..the fact that you dont know who to trust, who not to trust.. and who is real, who is fake..

But I do have another solution for that too! =) Treat others like how you want to be treated.. and you will witness a miracle!

Amen!

Girls and their ego..;p

"I'm sorry for the things that I did not say.. like how you are the best thing in my word.."

Ok seriously, I just want my voice back! ..=(( Its like every time you voice out something.. it looses the sweetness and some how ends up so manly.. grrr!!

Anyway.. I found this interesting status update by Arvind..that got me well, literally laughing.. hehe.. it says..
"some girls say that they dont love u but if anything happens to you...they will be d first to worry and they will scold you like mad...whats with girls and their ego??? Why cant they just say i miss you or i have made a mistake...or even i want you back...please forgive me... Lol im sure the world will end if that ever happens :).."

Why it got me laughing..?? hehe.. well it kinda reminded me of someone..=) me. yes, ME!! ..Hmm.. and nope, the world would not end if that ever happens.. lol.. we, girls aint that complicated..neither are we that simple.. but once you find the right "key" ..it shouldn't be that hard.. I guess..=)

Well I don't really know the story behind that status but speaking of "ego",..hmm its not really called "ego"...and yes this is coming from a person with the "least" experience.. but I'll try my best..lol ..

Anyway, like I said, its not really called "ego" ..Its just that, there's this certain boundary or limit or wall or whatever you wanna call it.. that makes us feel so very uncomfortable to say it.. hmm. why, is this so ..Maybe its because the time is just not right.. Maybe she doesn't know if she can commit, or if your the right person.. or perhaps, shes not really that comfortable with you..to utter such words yet..=)

But one thing I'm sure of.. if that girl is a real women..the one with a heart.. Once she falls, she falls deeply.. She don't simply utter words she dont mean.. When she says it..she means it, with every breath she takes..and in every prayer she prays.. she means it. And yes, it last.. it last as long as forever, as long as it takes.

If she's interested in you, she will surely give some hints! ..so maybe she-is-playing-hard-to-get.. but once she finds you worth it..oh trust me, she melts.. =) like the melted cadbury dark chocolate.. as sweet and tasty it seems.. she melts too..just like that! ...;p ;p And I have witnessed in my own eyes.. the one with the highest degree of ego.. how they bring it down..for their loved ones..

Or if she couldn't be bothered.. then maybe its time move on..=)

So, its not really "EGO" ..but sometimes it is ego. I admit. But hello, we are human too alrite?! ..And EGO, comes along with the package! ..but well remember.. if its mean to be, it will somehow happen.. even if it has to pass through heaven or hell.. it will somehow happen.. If God wants it so, it will. =)

Ceeehh waaahhh... like some big time "love guru" ..lol.. and meanwhile, 14th of February is coming!! ..=) ..oh gosh.. why am I getting so excited..;p

P/s Its better to loose your pride to someone you love..rather than losing that someone you love, because of your pride.. and this goes to both genders! ..

random facts

So I am officially sick..=).. and after 900234 nagging from my mom.. I finally agreed to take the panadol.. why? ..Its just the sudden need to rebel I guess.. Your still in the process of transforming from a child into an adult.. Hence once in while, you just follow where ever the wind takes you.. ok I dont know what's my point...hehe

Actually I have a lot of stuffs to blog about.. lol ok, I rephrase.. I have a lot of intelligent stuffs to blog about.. .. just like I promised! =)

So again, some random facts about life..

• You'll never know the true colours of someone, if and unless you've spend your life with them..
• You think you know that someone...but well, you were never close.. not one bit..=)
• Just one sentence.. one sentence all it takes to bring down the world you've built.. and though they don't mean it.. the fact that they said it.. shows that they have been thinking of it..
• Sometimes you just wish you could leave everything behind.. like everything.. and go somewhere where you dont know anyone.. 
• You think you have the biggest problem on earth.. but you tend to overlook others problems which are so much more compared to yours, like those who are struggling just for a grain of rice.. or are unable to walk.. 
• No matter how much you sneeze your nose.. there will still be some flue left..hehe
• Life without FB is might be boring..but surely more meaningful!

Lol, so many of you may disagree with the last one.. but well.. I shall elaborate further..in my next post..

And lastly, when everything is falling apart.. hold on to Jeremiah 29:11..

The sad weekend

Honestly where did the weekend go??

Sighhh.. oh yes.. ASSIGNMENTS! ,,,My weekend is dedicated to my assignments.. and this is only the first month.. I have another 8 weeks left to complete this semester.. 8 more weeks of ramblings about how lifeless assignments has made me.. 8 more weeks of last minute work..  8 more weeks of depression.. arghhh..

That's why Juan!!..How many times till its gonna take you to understand that procastination is deadly.. like so very deadly.. hmm.. You know you have the time.. You know if you don't do it now, you're gonna suffer later.. You know when that time comes, you will be here writting this very post about how you should have known.. You know, when that time comes it will all be too late.. You know that its "you" we're talking about here.. and even the sun stop shinning, you wouldn't change.. would you??

The weird thing is...before every semester starts.. you will actually remind yourself, "No more last minute work this time!!" ..and right after that.. you start back at square number 1!! ..

Oh please tell me this happens to you too..!! ..

and btw, incase you need an update about the "toad" in me.. its gone.. like officially.. Thank God! ..but only thing is.. it took my voice together with him as well.. I try so say something..but nothing comes out.. sighh..

And yes, cheers to the sad weekend.. =(

News update

So which news you want to know? The good news, the bad news or the news that is not necessary for you to know, but I'm gonna say it anyway..;p ;p

Ok let's start with the bad news.. normally it is done that way right? hmm I'm losing my voice!! ...siiggh... I sound like a toad, literally!! I mean yes, it doesn't usually sound that sweet, but this is like.. a no-no! ..The moment I reach the higher C note on the piano.. my voice is like a spoilt radio! ..sighh.. radio rosak! ..grrrr...

Now moving on to the good news... I'm almost completing my assingment! ...hehee..weeeeeeeee!! So tell me, who's awesome again! .... oh come on... say it!! ..You know it deep down.! ..hehehe.. =)
hmm.. Seriously there's no other feeling than completing that one assignment.. its like a whole burden has been lifted up.. and you're freeeeeeeeeeeee!! ..its even better than falling in love..;p ;p.. lol ok scratch that..

Moving on.. what is not necessary for you to know.. is that I finally completed my desperate housewives for season 1. lol... yes I just completed season 1.. another 5 more seasons to go..hehe..it was on my PC..and havent really gotten any time to really watch it.. and yet I still manage to complete my assignment..=))

So I officially certify meself awesome..for today!!

Ok, this post is lame, but since you kinda agreed that I'm awesome.. I promise more intelligent post next time.. alrite? =))

P/s, please excuse the girl... she's too sad cause she sounds like a toad.. too happy cause she's awesome.. and well, very much blessed to have readers who stil read her nonsense! ..;p

Have a great nite!

The besties! ..=)

"People are people, and sometimes we change our minds.."

Yes I have no idea what I am doing here blogging when I have like 101 assignments left hanging.. sighhh.. its just sometimes, you need a break from listening to recorded interviews and then wondering, "Gee, do I seriously sound like that on audio??" ...sighhh..and then your mind wanders like why can't my voice sound more sweeter and not so man-ly..and there the "emo" feeling comes back..lol and then you say to yourself, "Goodness Juan, You have like another 9 more interviews to write and your worried about your voice??" ..grrr fail la! ..heheh..ok ok i'll get to the point..and of cause writing down those interviews, cracking your head to get the prefect word, perfect sentences.. Re-reading it back, till you get the feeling, "that's the best I've given.." ...

So yes, I need a break..=)

I spent the night with Crystal and Jacynta last night. And I was having trouble sleeping as I wanted to talk more..and while I was trying to close my eyes..I realized, "Gee, I've been through every thick and thin with them already.." ...They saw me crying, they saw me laughing, they saw me make a fool of my self. We've done the craziest things.. said the craziest things..been the craziest human ever existed.. hmmm

Crystal will be the like a mother to us..reminding us to come back to earth and to stop it with "taylor swift" ..hehe..the real definition of bold and beautiful.. probably the one with the most guts too lol..but she thought me a lot about life.. and yes, I admire her for who she is and her faith in God, n..=) Jacynta on the other hand, laughs at everything we say.. like literally banging us and laughing.. and when you stare in her eyes.. its like a magnet, beautiful brown eyes.. its so pure like her and heart! =) And well she's probably the one who knows me well enough.. in and out.. She will know what's on my mind, and what I did, or what I'm going to do.. lol.. and yes, I learned a lot from her.. and well, she brought me closer to God..=)

And guess where we went today?? hehhe.. its the "S" word and it ends with "G" ..hehe  yes, I'm kinda like forbidden to even say the word "s**p***g" in my house.. lol.. My mom thinks we shop alot.. siiighhh..which is so.very.untrue k! ... I mean I have no idea, how come there's no more space in my wardrobe..but its like when you're searching for something to wear.. you find nothing! ..=(( ..so yes, we dont shop that much.. hehe

So anyway, we walked and sat, yes like literally sat on the floor..sometimes shopping does that..=)  checked out a cute guy..unfortunately he passed by too quickly and cynta said "I was too short, to spot him!" ....grrrrr.. We ate of cause.. and talked again, laughed, talked more.. complaint about stomach cramps..err oh no, you dont wanna know..=)

And then we went back, knowing that these are the moments that can never be replaced.. not with gold, not with money..not with anyone else.. =)

Well, I have no idea what I did to deserve them..and I'm truly glad I did! ..

And before I leave..

It seems, when you want someone..they don't want you..
And when someone wants you, you don't want them..
And when you both want each other.. its just not meant to be..


Wait then, for the best and only..=)

Extreme whatever..;p

Aaaarrgghh..

Yes, not really a good way to greet my readers.. but honestly, the head is about to burst.. and the bed has been calling me since 10p,m! ..grrrr...unfortunately, I have to finish my marketing tutorial, which is a nightmare I tell you. I wrote, wrote and wrote.. still writing.. 2 pages, 3 pages..4 pages.. sigh..it took me freaking 6 page to complete it k! ..And that also I skipped some question.. siiighhh.. I knew if I completed it all, I would be the world's awesomest lady for today..unfortunately I only manage to say that "I'm awesome!" ..;p ;p lol

 I mean yes, I love writing..but this is torture k. I hate writing about facts.. and who cares if Tesco decides to charge RM0.20 for a plastic bag? ..Or if UCSI is using e-Advantage as their e-learning program?? ..Or if Starbucks decided to open more branches in China? Those are all part of marketing..and exactly what I wrote on my paper.. nonsense I tell you! lol

Sighhh.. And that is the result of extreme tired-ness and extreme absurdity, extreme depression, extreme I-just-want-to-go-bed! extreme.. hmm I ran out of words..

Yikesss.. ok I don't know what I just wrote.. but honestly, we shall thank Tesco for being environmental friends.. and UCSI, though its un-efficient, but at least we get out lecture notes.. and of cause, my dear starbucks..because someday when I visit CHINA, I would love to try some coffee..

Ok thats a total lie. I hate coffee..

But you get my point right?? that I'm still awesome, thought I'm sleepy! ;p ;p ..oh yes, I know you so agree with me! ..hehe

Selamat malam..

p/s I had to cheer up my blog a bit..its been too depressed..so please, smile with me.. at least for today! Thank you!

Dear Juan..

So I really wanted to write something..and then mom knocked the door and said.. "Juan its getting late already, go to sleep.."

So before she comes and knocks again..and then spoil both our nights.. just a short note to the owner of this blog..

Dear Juan,
Sometimes in life you must learn to accept. Accept changes, accept challenges, accept who you are. Although things didn't go the way you wanted, remember there is always a reason. There is always a reason behind every question. Always an opportunity behind every dead end. Always a smile behind every tear.


You are no more that 12 year old girl who wanted to become a astronaut and save the world. You are no more that 15 year old, the cries her heart out becomes some dude changed his mind. You are no more that 17 year old, who calls her mom because she lost her way to PJ..


You are 21 now. Yes the BIG 21. Though you don't feel like one, but whether you like it or not.. you are..=).. You must somehow face the world, and be who you want to be. Cross the line, if you're suppose too, but never ever forget who you are, and the reason why you crossed it. Take risk, because you cannot know what's on the other side of the mountain, unless you reach the peak ..So what, if you fall? At least you tried, and please do not ever give up. Because the power of success and contentment lies in "NOT GIVING UP",, Fall in love, when you're ready, but don't break a heart..=)


Keep on moving.. no matter how strong the storm is. The one who created you, has prepared you well enough..and is still preparing. Pray, and never cease praying. Give, without sparing.. Share without pretending.. Forgive without punishing.. Speak without judging.. Trust, without doubting..  Love without counting the cost... Learn to listen without always thinking that you-know-it-all..=)


Remember, you are different, you are made to be different, you are unique.. you are original.. And no matter how much you disagree, you're so very beautiful.. In God's eyes, you are amazing, simply because you're his child and that He made you. Why are you still searching then, as if He's not enough? ..hmmm


Go then.. make a difference.. be the change you wish to see in this world..


P/s, you should also try not make your mom get into her nerves every once in a second..

LOL.. ok I just wrote what came to my mind..didn't know it would end up this long.. and yes I should get goin.. like right now..=)