Wednesday, March 31, 2010

forgive me..

I used to have that someone special..
Someone whom I trusted upon..
To lift me up..when I fall..
To wipe my tears..when I cry..

But guess I lost it..
Lost it along the way..
When I decide to do things on my own..
Make my own path..
Light my on way..

He called me every night..
But I turned a deaf ear..
He longed to hold me in His arm..
But with all my might..
I pushed Him away..

It hurt Him of course..
So much more..
Than I can imagine..
It made Him cry too..
But did I even bother??

No..its all about
Me, myself and I..

Still..He didnt give up..
Didn't even think of it..

"My daughter..
Can a mother forget the child of her womb..??
Even if this happens..
I will not forget you..
See, I have carved your name on my palm..
The same palm that was nailed on the cross..
The same nail that tore my flesh..
Tore heaven's gate as well.."

I know it all...
But I'm human as well..
Sometimes I forget..

Forgive me, dear Lord..

Inspired by MAUREEN ALMA!!..
Thank you Lord, for her!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

havent met you yet

Blogging mood tak ada..=(.. and maybe bringing the speakers in again is another bad idea..especially when my finals are starting next week..sigh.. there's always that one song that catches my this..

Just havent met you yet~Michal Buble

I'm Not Surprised
Not everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I've Stopped Keepin Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get all worked up
Than I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I thought of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That it'll All Turn up
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's half timing
And The Other half's luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You'll Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

And Somehow I Know That it'll All Turn up
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's fair
In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight it
Get invited
We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And girl Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I Work To Work It Up
Promise You Kid I Get More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get than I Get

Oh You Know That Will All Turn Up
And I will Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get
I just havent met you yet..

Or have I?? I??..I don't know.. you tell me..=)

Monday, March 29, 2010


Before I start...
Hmm..I dont think I mentioned this..but yeah my PC speakers has not been working for the past 2 months..!! ears was bleeding with NO MUSIC..Everytime I had to beg my sis to use the laptop instead..sigh..

So let me start..
It's a coincidence..really..

Like why did I decide post lyrics yesterday??
Like why did my mom remember and decided to bring home the speakers today..??
Like why did I choose to listen to "we are the world"..the HAITI version..right after she brought home the speakers??
Like why did saha come to my house at the same time to re-format my laptop and at the same time introduce another MICHAEL JACKSON song??

Did you see the connection??

LOL...if you think I'm driving you crazy.. well I hope I'm not.. It makes perfect sense to me though.. for I couldn't fine any better song..than this song.. really.. it got me thinking..

how could anyone trash the gift of love??..
how could anyone even think of crushing anothers heart ..??
how could anyone have the heart to hurt another??
how could anyone play with the words..'I love you..'??
how can one pretend that it's cool to do so??

I have heard so many songs.. I have no idea..why this left so much impact on me..It's just that the way MJ portrayed love is so magical and simply amazing in this song.. There are not just words..if you feel what he is trying to makes more sense why am I sooo touched!!..

How should I put this??..really..I have no words to explain..hmm I don't know if at all I'm gifted to experience such love..but I know for a fact..that I've already and still experiencing much more than the gift of love.. I have indeed experience the greatest gift of all..JESUS!!...

What else could I ask for??..He's all I ever need.. and will need!!..

But still..take a look at these words..


Your love is magical..
That's how I feel..
But I have not the to explain..
Gone are the grace..for expressions of passion..
But there are worlds and worlds..of ways to explain..
To tell you how I feel..
But I am..

That's how you make me feel..
When I'm with you..I'm faraway..
And nothing is for real..
When I'm with you..
I'm lost for words..
I don't know what to say..
My head's spinning.. like a carousel..
so silently I pray...

Helpless and hopeless..
that's how I feel inside..
Nothing's real but all is possible..
if God is on my side..
When I'm with you.. I am in the light..
where I cannot be found ..
It's as though I am standing in..
the place called Hallowed Ground ..

That's how you make me feel..
When I'm with you..I'm faraway..
And nothing is for real..
I'll go anywhere.. and do anything..
just to touch your face..
There's no mountain high.. I cannot climb..
I'm humbled in your grace..

That's how you make me feel..
When I'm with you..I'm faraway..
And nothing is for real..

Your love is magical..
that's how I feel..
But in your presence..
I am lost for words..
Words like, "I love you."...

Wow..I am speechless.. he's in love with her so much..that he is speechless.. lost for words.. words like 'I LOVE YOU'..hence the song is called "Speechless" ..

Yeah so what??..may seem normal to you.. but guess its just me.. hehe... I feel a little too much.. but yeah.. I like this song..=)

Go and listen..=) ...I can't promise you anything for I believe everyone has their own taste in music.. but it was worth it..for me..=)

The song list

I have a quiz tomorrow..hehehehe.. nope..its a bad idea..don't even think of following my footsteps k!.. I'm a bad role model.. =)

This post is clearly written while the girl is delusional..and confused.. acting dumb again.. A total waste of time.. course its not of her own words.. just bits and pieces of others..which is ridiculous.. but yeah..just to release tension..this is what she does!..

So hear my loneliness
I'm giving up on you
I don't need you anymore
Ive found what i been looking for
So hear my emptiness
Ive got no room for you
Ive finally found what Ive been dreaming of
Someone to love

*In love with this song..the moment I heard it..damm emo I know.. but I like it! further explanation..*

You leave me breathless..
You're everything good in my life..
You leave me breathless..
I still can't believe that you're mine..
You just walk out of one of my dreams..
So beautiful your leaving me..

*My all time favorite.. I told myself once.. whoever sings me this song..I'll marry them!! LOL..dumb I know...but yeah..this song says it all..*

And when I look in your eyes..
All of my before me..
I'm not running anymore
Course I already know..
I'm home..
With every beat of my heart..
I give you my love completely..
My darling..
This I promise you..

*Memories are folded neatly in this song..I'll never forget..*

I dont wanna runaway..
But I can't take it..
I don't understand..
If I'm not made for you
Then why does my heart tells me that I am??
Is there anyway that I can stay..
In your arms??..

*I like the way he sang original..*

You lift my feet off the ground..
You spin me around..
You make me crazier.. crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I..
I'm lost in your eyes..
You make me Crazier.. Crazier.. Crazier..

*So fairytale-ishl.. full of fantasy..but hey its so true as well..=) ..*

All my life..I prayed for someone like you..
And I thank God..that I..
That I finally found you..
All mu life..I pray for someone like you..
And I hope that you feel the same way too..
Yes I pray that you do love me too..

*Whoever created this brilliant!!*..

I have a whole lot of list still..but I shall leave it hanging here.. hehe..need to get back studying you see.. and yessss..I do care about my

Something better next time..

take care!!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Yesterday and today

Pretty dramatic day...both yesterday and today..

It's just too good to be true..again.. both yesterday and today..

Yesterday was rather unusual..ok.. special..

Today was unexpected..and special as well..

Yesterday is to be cherished..

Today is to be shared..hehe..

Thats what I'll do..
Do you know..cutting the palms for over 3000 people is really not that easy when you decide to wear just a 3 quarter pants with flip flops and bare hands?? Seriously its not..every single second I was like.."OUCH here..OUCH there.." ..and I when cut my fingers with the scissors twice..I finally found the perfect reason why my mom doesn't allow me near the kitchen!!..SHEESH!!..I But it is fun when you have people like Chris, Alma, Ana, Andrea, Mary Pat, Alvin and Abner around.. Crazy I tell you.. every time one person opens their'll take ages for us to STOP LAUGHING!!... we were singing as well.. emo songs.. not-so-emo songs.. love songs..=D.. hindi songs..hehe.. out of tune..of course.. but we didn't really care..just bantai

Then for was the first day I'm commentating..replacing my dearest sis who is currently now living in the jungle..=).. I didnt want to.. but they needed a youth..and since my sis asked so sweetly..I just didn't have the heart to say NO.. so yeah. and you know.. when your unprepared..and nervous till your veins start cracking..that's exactly when they'll come and compliment you.. "good job!!".."thumbs up..".."keep it up.." ..but when your really prepared..and confident.. there's where you screw things up!..sigh..

I wasn't able to follow my UCSI BESTIES for UCSI's earth hour..instead after mass..I was at home.. lighting a candle on top of the piano..and started playing..hehe.. so much so.. that I didnt wanna stop.. on and on..till mom started shouting.."JUANNN!!..YOUR DINNER IS GETTING COLD.. HURRY UP AND DONT HURT THE PIANO!!" ...hurt???...excuse me.. my skills are master piece ok.. lol..aite.. that was a pure lie.. I can't play for nuts..i just enjoy playing.. wished I had the talent though..hmmmm

That was pretty much about today..tomorrow is another big day..

Yesterday.. I said its too be cherished.. it might happen again..or might not.. not in my hands.. but I enjoyed it!!..=)

I shall leave before I spare out anymore unnecessary

Good nite!!

Friday, March 26, 2010


"I made it obvious..done everything but sing it..(crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong)..I'm not so good with words..but since you never seem to see.. I'll say it in a love song.."

Pretty interesting day today..hmm did I mention that I dislike MALAYSIAN STUDIES??!!.. well I officially hate it now!!.. haiz.. course i just had my mid term and guessed it!!'s bad.. really really bad!!..sigh..

Moving on..PINKY WAS IN COLLEGE BY 9!!! FOR 11AM CLASS!!..weeeeeeeeeeeee!!.. a miracle has indeed occurred in UCSI!!..ok she's gonna curse me when she reads this!!..=p for 2 hours we were at the library..talking about how dumb guys can get..which reminds me.. we're dumb talk about how dumb they are..and erm..gosh!!..i just made myself even dumber by stating it here right??!! what, you don't understand!!??'re not suppose too!!.. a bit too hyper today...that's why..hehe

Next..for the record..
  • 2008 I lost my 200 bucks citizen watch presented by my chiti.. and my sis MP3 player..which I didn't really loose it..but forgot to remove it from my pocket..hence it had a great wash in the machine!!..and there goes all my songs..sigh.. yes yes.. she wanted to murder me..but she knew i was the only one she had..hehehe
  • 2009...I lost my Sister's 2G MP3 AGAIN!!..had over 1000 song, samsung brand..touch pad.. sigh..and also my 4G pendrive!!..i know i sister was already digging my grave.. but I apologized quickly..saying I'll get a new one somehow..which I'm still working on it..hehehe
and first lost for the year..hehe..MY TOUCH N GO CARD!! ..and since someone specially requested for the story to be yeah..i shall blog it detaily..

So as usual..I was late..manage to sweet talk to my sis to allow me to use the car.. I didn't have time to take the bus..and the moment I was in the car..there the bus comes.. typical huh??.. when you wait for the bus..there's none!!..when you see a dozen!!..sheesh..

and I saw the touch n go card on the dash board of the car..and repeated to myself constantly.."don't forget the touch n go know this will always happen..DONT FORGET!!" I had this image of me..putting it inside my pocket... locked the car..started walking to KTM ..and again..there goes the TRAIN!!..sigh.. when you rush for the'll fly..when you don't..its like a pregnant woman!! slow!!..and you know KTM!! how puctual it is..sigh...

and then I touched my pocket.. i was like,..'oopps.. i knew i put it in here..' ..where can it be..i open my bag then.. and my purse.. I SWEAR I PUT IT SOMEWHERE!!..but where??!! ..maybe its in the car.. should I walk all the way back and get all sweaty..and miss another train??..nah..its only RM3.60 after all.. so yeah..dengan confidentnya.. hoping that its in the car.. i went to college..

By the time i came back it was 4.30.. opened my car.. my heart sank..when it wasnt in there.. i checked everywhere.. even under the carpet.. the dashboard.. sigh.."why does this keep happening to me.." i walked all the way back..feeling everything under my feet t..silently praying.."card, please appear..I wont loose you again.. will hold you close to my heart..I promise you this time.." ...TWICE!!..i walked back and forth.. and nope.. MY CARD DOESN'T LIKE ME EITHER!!..sigh.. i wished I knew why.. and that was the end of it!!.. but too bad just lost a great owner!!..hehehe..yeah rite..the owner who cant even hold a tiny card.. maybe it is in better hands now..sigh..RIP my lovely card.. know I realize something.. that you dont miss the water..till the well runs dry.. you dont miss the summer till the winter appears.. you dont miss the person..till they're really gone.. sigh..

I felt it that moment I lost my matter how much you pray..or you cry..what is done is done..what is gone..will never come back.. or maybe it will unless your really really blessed.. but rarely happens.. so yeah..hold everything and everyone..close to your its the only thing you the only person who loves you..=)

MORAL of the story..try not to trust me with anything precious.. but can trust me with anyone.. I won't let go.. you have my word..=)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

if i were a boy

"Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart??..You can try sleeping in my bed.."

And this time I really mean it.. sigh.. I'm back to emo-ing..sheesh..I hate it when this happen!! but might have to bring your own bed for now.. My sis insist on sleeping with me..hehehe.. yea rite *like that's gonna happen*.. lol.. nolar her room is just tooooo warm!!..she doesnt have much choices..hehe

Anyway, I have a huge assignment due tomorrow..might be presenting as well..and formal cloths are really not my type.. So not comfortable with heels, skirts and collared shirts!!.. sigh..hmm I think maybe I should be born as a guy..yes a I mean you don't have to worry bout what to wear..or how to do your hair.. what shoe to wear.. course when your a guy, you don't really have much choices..hehehe..I mean no offense.. but don't you think that things are a lot easier when your choices are narrowed down??..and besides at least I KNOW what a guy is suppose to the right time... unlike some.. seriously..I got no more words.. *siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas*..

I tempted to post beyonce's "if i were a boy'' last chorus here..hehe

You don't listen to her..
You don't care how it hurts..
Until you lose the one you wanted..
'Cause you're taking her for granted..
And everything you had got destroyed..
But you're just a boy..

But then again..maybe being a so much better!!.. course you're not just a woman.. YOU'RE A WOMAN!!..the word "just" somehow makes a big difference.. you're not just any kinda woman.. you're unique!!..=) ok ok..the same concept can be applied to should!!..

anyway..I better stop crapping and cont with my assignment!!..

p/s ..I'm not sexist!!..just..haiz.. some people are just..just ..sooooo ish!!.. i give up!!

When she's a child

Here..I give you something to admire...since my posts are always full of words!!...hehe

the cutest baby ever born was on the 15th of JUNE 1990!!....look at her.. wow!!..I melted there and there!!.. wish I could hold her in my arms and cuddle her!!..sigh..but she grew up.. sudah 20 tahun wor...manyak tua sudah!!..hehehehe..

Presenting..the lil one in diapers..

Believe it or not..that was lil Juan Margrita.. isnt she the cutest??..hehehe..yeah I know.. it all changed when she grew!!.. not so cute anymore..sigh..

I told you..she eats anything she wants... that explains her size!!..hehehe

Check out her hair..close to "SAMY VELLU" rite??..hehehe.. *dont ask*..the parents wanted a boy..but she turned to be a 'GIRL' ..hence the short hair..=(

She's with her her grandma's house.. sigh..miss that house!!

Anyway..hope you enjoyed this short please..dont dream about this girl tonight..though its hard not too..I understand your feelings..hehehe


Monday, March 22, 2010

how to waste time

I don't really have anything..but I wanna blog!!.. which means it's gonna be loaded with crappings..=)

Anyway guess what??.. I LOST EVERYTHING IN MY PEN DRIVE!! ..CRAP CRAP CRAP!!.. why why??.. what did I do??.. Just because I lost a pen drive last year BY ACCIDENT.. doesn't mean I have to loose all my files this year..rite??!!..*sobs..sobs** ...

ok..that didnt make sense.. but yeah.. damm that printing shop!!.. I have to get another pen drive.. I think my PURPLE 4G KINGSTON pen drive is already in the edge of dying.. haiz.. too many memories with it.. JOO HOOI got it for me from the PC fair..right after I lost my other 4G white pen drive..*I loved that a lot* has this red blinking light..and ANTI-VIRUS!!.. no joke.. You have to know that UTAR's PC is the worst ever.. not only its as slow as a tortoise but full..I MEAN FULL ..of all kinds of Trojan..I still remember the lecturer saying.."you all need to get a separate PEN DRIVE..just for UTAR'S PC alone!!" ..that's how bad it was la.. and strong "armed" pen drive..stood by me..even death couldn't part us!!.. sigh.. till I dumbly lost it!!..sheesh..

Ok..lets move on.. or else I think I could go on writing about how I got married to my pen drive..hehe..
Today in EXPO class..we're suppose to come out with ideas..on HOW TO WASTE TIME..hehe..
so here's my own..

  • FACEBOOKING!!... i wouldn't consider blogging as "wasting" time.. because whatever I write in my life.. so if I say I'm wasting time blogging..mean I am wasting my life..hehe..
  • Watching "THE NANNY" ..bout 100+ times..over and over again..till I kinda memorize the dialogues..*lifeless*
  • Reading all my novels..again and again..
  • Watching.."twilight".."titanic"..other nice movies..again and again..hehehe
  • me I'm famous for this..
  • Looking at the mirror...figuring to make my 'pores' disappear..hehe
  • Arguing with my sis..about something that doesnt make sense..
  • Arguing with my mom..knowing I WONT WIN!! matter how right I am..hehe
  • AsSIGNMENTS!!..=((((
Ok..I have to agree..this post was a TOTAL waste of time..but but..

sigh..I have to say somethings....erm..
or maybe some other time..sigh..

take care!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

PD trip

Do you know, that sometimes its worth it to act crazy and randomly..and just follow where ever your heart wants to be..

That's exactly what I did..and it was more than worth it,,

This is like the fifth time I went to PD is 2 WHOLE YEARS!!...sigh..I love doubt!!.. but PD is a lil bit toooo dirty..LOL..

Yes..I was in PD this weekend.. and I had 3 assignments due tomorrow..and another 2 to be completed...hehehe..yup yup.. totally crazy weekend to go for a holiday... hehehehe.. yes, I know where my priorities lie..which is my studies of course.. but I know something else as well.. sometimes its better to get out and let yourself free from all this order to think back straight again.. like right now.. God is always, should always..and will always be the priority in my life..not my studies..=)..hehe and guess what??.. I have only another assignment left..=) ..finished all 4 a while ago.. amazing huh??

After a few rejection, I finally agreed to go for a night stay at GLORY BEACH RESORT in PD together with CRYSTAL , SHASHI, SAHA, MY SIS and JOE!!..hehehe.. did I enjoy??.. yes.. more than I imagined!! went on SATURDAY afternoon..come back home this afternoon..

The things we did..
  • Played "BLUFF" like nobody's business.. Shashi almost had the whole deck in his hands.. but unfortunately its Joe who's a bad liar..=p
  • Played beach soccer.. found out that its a bad idea to run on sand.. but perfect to walk on it with your loved your side.. hand in hand..
  • Joe wanted to bury me alive and started throwing sand all over.. we were literally kids at that moment.. and he threw me into the sea!!!!..sheessshh.. ok almost la.. but I sill owe him a bucket of sand..and salt water!!
  • Had KFC while trying to figure out how Saha's mind work.. As usual, I didn't get it..hehehe..
  • and if you happen to see any candid pics in facebook..PLEASE IGNORE IT!!.. joe is soooo gonna get it!!..arghhh
  • Played all kinds of game till 5.30 am..laughed like nobody's business!!.. my favorite game is the police and the murderer!!..hehehe
  • Manage to update crystal on the lastes erm...well stories!!..heheh..and she straightened her hair wei!! only I much for being besties..sigh..
  • Slept with a cockroach on the bed...eeehhwwww.. stil cant believe it..
  • Played PS!!..finallyy....weeeeeeeeee!!..LOL
  • Played wars edition.. did you know such stuff existed?..well I didn't..hehe
There..another memory to be remembered this year..
and lastly.. I thank God..for surrounding me with angels.. who doesn't mind being around me.. despite my flaws..=)

I've mentioned that so many times before rite??..well another wouldn't hurt!!hehe..

have a nice day!!...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Fireproof and caleb!!

I just watched the best movie..I've ever watched in my whole life.. better than a walk to remember.. better than 'the notebook' much better than titanic..

How could I've missed it?? came out in 2008..and after a year..than only I came across..

I think I used about 10 tissues..hehe I was literally sobbing..thank God I was watching it alone..or else I would have made a fool out of myself.. well, yes I am very sensitive..very its not that hard to make me cry a river..hehe..but the movie was simply awesome!..

it didnt look like they were acting.. so real.. so touching the words.. simply amazing!!.. I've waited for this kinda story line..almost all my life..!! but I was disssapointed at the end.. because they copied my story line!!..sigh.. remember I wanted to write a love story??..well I had this on mind..not exactly of course..something like that.. even started writing in fact.. but guess I have to find a new one now..hehe...

You know..I kinda lost hope..early this morning.. hmm actually it happens every morning.. but after watching opened not only my eyes..but my heart.. its like I was renewed.. how and why..I dont know.. but I was.. so much so.. that I have this strange feeling in me.. the feeling I've lost for awhile.. but I found it.. yes I did..=)

what feeling??..hehehe.. have you ever seen something beautiful..?? like a rare butterfly.. well what will you do..?? of cause you don't keep it to yourself.. you want to share it with your friends.. so you go all around.. calling everyone.. just to share what you've felt..and seen.. you want them to feel the same too!!.. hehe..

I feel exactly like that..but its much more.. For indeed.. I've witnessed something absolutely beautiful.. and I want to share it too.. thats why the immediate blogging..hehe.. and like I said..its more.. like something called HOPE.. there is hope.. no matter how hopeless the situation is.. there is HOPE!!.. dont ever ever STOP BELIEVING!! ..hope is always and will be there..

For better or worse.. there's always hope..

Thank you Lord.. for this movie..and for giving me HOPE..

And lastly.. i like the name CALEB!!..yes caleb, caleb CALEB!! I like to say it, I like the way it sounds..hehe..weird.. but well you know me.. I think if I ever have a son..hehe..I'll name him Caleb.. hmm.. Caleb Matthew.. yes I like mattew as or maybe just maybe.. there's someone named caleb out there..hehe..for me!!..someone in this

p/s I accidentally deleted my signature.. sorry!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

the circle of life

"said you love me..said you never leave me..maybe I just heard you wrong.. Cause I'm damage..I'm damage.. don't know what to do.. Baby.. I'm damage.. so so damage.. because of you.."

and my cousin is in a relationship??!!... wow.. I mean really.. she's damm picky.. don't know how many guys she rejected.. even worse than me.. ceeeeeh waaaahh...hehhehehee..

But seriously, if she's in a relationship.. that is something..

And indeed what goes around, comes around.. Someone might be dying here.. while in the other side of the world..a baby is born.. Someone just had the worse day ever..while another had the best.. Someone got promoted..another lost his job.. Some did well in the grammar test a while ago...while some did really badly..*like me*..=(.. Some just gotten out of a bad relationship.. while some just got themselves into a good one..

No matter how the circle chooses to turn.. we are all given another gift.. the gift to choose.. the gift to make decision..on how we want our life to be.. for at the end of the day..its your life your talking about.. not theirs... but then again..all we can do is plan.. the outcome is in HIS hands..

Its the same as baking a cake.. you put in all the ingredients you want in the cake.. sweeter, add a lil bit more sugar.. and the icing.. what shape do you want.. it depends on you.. but you can't really decide on how the cake is going to turn out.. it might be burnt or might not rise.. it might be under cooked.. or it can turn out perfectly!!.. but it's still not in your hands!!...XD..

Like you sow the seed..but you don't decide whether it should rain or not, or how many worms is going to corrupt the seed!!.. You studied for your exam.. but you cant be over-confident.. Over-confident is bad!! me..I experienced it like so many or you can study for your exam..and who might loose your dear ones on the same day.. like I said.."its not in your hands!!"

I rite??.. but its not that bad.. once you learn that when life gives you a hundred reasons to life that you have a thousand reasons to smile..=)

Its a whole lot easier.. when you realize that HE, the one who decides it FOR always by YOUR SIDE TOO.. whether you want him or not.. HE IS ALREADY THERE.. with arms open wide..learn to let go..whatever that's holding you back.. let go..and let the chips fall where they may.. trusting is hard..very hard.. much harder that doubting..and thats why its important,,

If He wants it to will.. If He wont.. as simple as that..but remember.. He knows what's best!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

the kid in me..

"I want you to know that it doesn't matter...Where we take this road someone's gotta go.."

Trust me..I have no idea.. why every song I listen has got to do with someone leaving.. or maybe this is a break up month.. sigh..

Well anyway..lets just KAMBAKTH ISHQ..for this post!!...I was watching ENCHANTED this afternoon in DISNEY CHANNEL.. *yeap the youngest in my home is 20..that's me..and I still insist on subscribing this channel*..hehehe..and I, happily ever after does not never will...sigh..but yeah.. let's just screw love!!...for at least this one time.. course I know I won't last long'll come running right back like a deprived child..hehe..but since I'm in the yeah..*off the love mode*

Let's talk about babiessssss!!!...heheheh..
I was on the train today..and saw this cute chinese girl..about 3 or 4..with her grandparents.. she was trying to put a cute white hat on her granpa..but he was avoiding it..and she was having a really good time..that the whole coach was filled with her laughter.. it sounded like and inconsistent music.. and I couldn't help but laugh with her as well.. hehehe..

One of the greatest advantage in being a that you get to act completely stupid..and don't give a damm about what others think!!...Isn't that amazing??.. to do what you whoever you want..say everything you wanna say..and still keep on smilling for real =) ..yeah..most of us might think.."I don't care what they think of me.." ..but let's be it really true?? you really not care..if a cute guy walk passed you..and you have a lettuce stuck in between your teeth, when you want to give him the best smile you have?? got to be completely out of your mind..if your answer is NO!!.. and that's the reason..why we are dealing with so many fake people.. Those who cange they way they talk.. they way they dress..just to fit in..

So anyway..lets come back to babies..hehehe
Some of the stupid things I got myself into while I was a kid..
  • I can finish a whole bottle of milk..and a ago.. *explains my size*..
  • I use to have my favorite sofa in my grandma's place..and would kick anyone who sits there..when I'm on it..hehe..*they hated me for this*
  • "Jobabe" ..was what everyone called me, and even now..sigh.. after watching THE BABE cartoon..where babe, the main character is a FREAKING PIGLET!!..heheh
  • Once I'm done drinking..I would throw my bottle..I mean literally throw it down on the carpet..I wish I knew why
  • I would eat anything you give me..even papers and eraser..sigh..
  • I'll always get lost wherever they take me.. the worst was when I was 6 took me to shop in BILLION..and yeah..I got lost..hehe.. A cleaner found me..and took me to the office.. I was crying non-stop...and they have to make an annoucement to the whole shopping MALL!!..sigh.. even in that age I was embarrassed badly!!..argh..
  • I use to bang my sister's head on the I think that's why she is soooo annoying right now.. argh..should have just left her brain the way it was!!..LOL..
  • I would cry..until I get what I every other normal kid.. and No.. I am not the giving in type..sadly!!
  • I ran away from my home when I was course I was angry with my mom for some reason...and hid in the car..till my dad consoled me, that he would get me some chocolates..hehehehe..i know i know..
Ok.. enough of stupid things I've revealed about myself.. hope it did cheer up those broken hearted ones.. and what said in here..STAYS in here.. it's purely private and is not allowed to discuss it outside my blog..thank you for your kind co-operation..=)

take care..and have a nice day!!

Monday, March 15, 2010


Awwwhh...pity my baby bloggy.. left here all alone.. no one came and visited you ar??..*sobs..sobs..*

It's ok it's ok..I'm back..=)
I missed you tooo!!... really.. Like I left my heart here..but went all around the world searching for it.. Indeed sometimes the 'diamond' is right in front of your eyes..but you choose not to see it.. maybe you want something more precious..hence you go all around the world searching for it..but only to end up with stones..and by the time you reach for the diamond..someone else took it already...sigh

well..unless you found a really rare diamond..that will be there..and is going to be matter how bad and mean you treat it..=)

Hehehe..yes I was trying to make some sense..using my own common sense..which most of the time, doesnt really work don't know why..its like I was born in another century or something..things that seem normal to me..seem weird to others..while stuffs that are weird to me..seems normal to others.. sigh.. well anyway..I hope this made sense..eheheheh..

so was a pretty hilarious day in college.. here's what happen during expository writing class..between pinky and me..while samantha has gone out to pass up her draft: you wear g-strings??
Juan : ....*mouth dropped open*...hahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah..*literally
OUT LAUD* ...pinks do realize we're in the middle of expository
writing class..
and ms lilian is talking about descriptive essays.. and how in the world can you relate that with g-strings??..describe the shape or the texture??...*LOL again!!*
Pinky: *laughes even lauder..* ...actually I wanted to ask sam that ques...hahaahhhaahaah...

*btw pinky was really kinda horny today..hehehe..=p*

Juan: ...*still laughing*...shhh...pinkyy!!..keep it low.. I think they guy in front heard us..
Pinky..*continues laughing..*

Guy in front turns behind, stares at pinky like she has a mushroom growing on her nose.. and asks her...

Guy in front: ..are you alrite??
Pinky: ..*laughing uncontrollably* ...yes I am..
Guy in front:..Are you sure??
Pinky: ..*still laughing*...yesss!!
Guy in front: ...err..I dont think so..

Juan was covering her head..preventing her stomach from bursting and her intestines from rupturing..

*it was that hilarious!!* ..

hehehhe.. ok..maybe it sounds lame.. but like I said.. I could have died laughing..the kinda laugh..where no one..and nothing could stop you.. hehe..ever experienced that kinda laugh?? ..I practically experience it all the time..ehehe..

oh yes...I forgot to post a song...hmm..what could it be??

"Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?...Well, you could try sleeping in my bed...Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you.." one broke my heart.. but I heard this song quite a few times today.. hmm what are you trying to indicate, Lord??.. that's someone's gonna break my heart??.. but they already did.. I mean the worse already occurred..what else is there to be considered as 'worst"??

aarghh..I know.. lol.. being in love

Good nite and god bless..

when i met you

"I love you..please say you love me too.. these three words..they could change our lives.. forever.. and I promise you..that we will always be together.." time to blog now.. but before I leave..just a lil something

"When I met you..
My heart skipped a beat..
The sun became the moon..
Cold turned into heat..
Roses weren't red..
Violets weren't blue..
All because..
I fell in love with you.."

No..not by me.. but I like it.. saw it somewhere..felt like sharing!!.. Ok my time is up!!.. wish me all the best!!..not for my exam..but to study!!..heheehe

take care!!..god bless

Saturday, March 13, 2010

the Lord is my shephard

"In the Lord's own house shall I dwell..forever and ever.."

I picked a fight with my mom again...which means I'm grounded giler-giler!! except for tonight..hehe.. since fred already bought the tickets to watch ALICE IN WONDERLAND 3D!!.. weeeeeee!!.. can't really help it la..

My favorite going to be sung this week!!..=)

The Lord is my spehard..
There is nothing I shall want..
Fresh and green are the pastures..
Where He gives me repose..
Near restful waters He leads me..
To revive my drooping spirit..

He guides me along the right path..
He is true to His name..
If I should walk in the valley of darkness..
No evil would I fear..
You are there..with Your crook and your staff..
With this You give me comfort..

You have prepared a banquet for me..
In the sight of my foes..
My head You have anointed with oil.
My cup is overflowing..

Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me..
All the days of my life..
In the Lord's own house shall I dwell..
Forever and ever..

Yes yes..I memorized it!!..heheeh

anyway have a good weekend people..=)

take care!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

100 weeks bible

the mind is still singing.."hooossaannaa"!!hehehehe..

anyway..I signed up for this 100 WEEKS BIBLE thingy in my church.. whereby you dissect the whole bible..left,right,front and back..hehehe.. which means you study the whole bible thoroughly.. for 2 years..

Today was my first class.. and we had group sharing.. which I don't really enjoy..but I don't mind doing it as well.. but I'm only facing one problem.. where all my group members are above 30!!..except for Mary Pat.. seriously..I was feeling extremely awkward.. Imagine, as it is I'm extremely shy to even talk to people my age.. and want me to share my life stories..with complete strangers..who are at least 10 years older..hmmm..

Their way of thinking and perspective of totally different!!.. Like for example.. my mom thinks all love stories are dumb!!.. esp VAARNAM AAYIRAM!!.. and i was like.."Ma, you should start getting a life!!" she gave me the..'how-dare-you-talk-to-me-like-that"..kinda look..hehehe

I mean you see where am I getting to??.. how can all love stories be dumb??..yes, some are extremely absurd.. but there are some that deserves credit as well!!.. the one that gives you the "WOW" feeling at the end.. apparently my mom in stoned!! not to say emotion-less... but yeah..she takes the movie as she sees it.. If you ask me..when you see a movie.. don't just see it from the world's eyes..but see it through the actors and actresses eyes.. then maybe the movie will totally change your perspective.. like "what would I do..if I was in that situation??"..

Ok ok..enough of my nonsense..lets get back to my story..

So there was I seated in that chair.. listening..and trying my best to pay attention..while my mind was restless..thinking what in the world am I gonna say about this particular verse that touched me??...genesis 2:18.. I already had something in mind.. but was thinking twice whether to say it or not. This people have gone through so many in life..and I just started mine.. they're gonna think.. "aah foolish little girl..still have so much to learn.."

But unfortunately the need to say it out laud was even stronger that the feeling of getting highly embarrassed..

So yeah..I shared..what's on my mind..and daymmm.. I dont know why.. every time I shared about the wonders of GOD in my life..I'll tear..EVERY TIME!!..yes.. even just now.. sigh.. I could feel my eyes stinging..and in my heart i said.."OHH SH!T!!..not now..please..i beg of you.." ..and I know I had to stop talking..before it gets worse.. holding my tears back..I said a prayer.. and ended it.. and complimented my self.."your good!!" ..hehehee..

But anyway sometimes.. it's better to open up to strangers.. course they have got no idea..who you are.. what you're going through.. or what you should be doing... they simply don't judge you.. and it's great!!..really.. when one does not judge you..through your flaws and failures.. unfortunately it gets worse..when the person that judges you.. should be the last person on earth to do so!!

To my dearest mom, you won't be reading this..but I'm sorry I can't be perfect..='(

ok ok..enough of emo-ing..but what I wanted to say..was..

Lord..I couldn't thank you enough for this life!!..Amen!!

have a nice day!!..


Thursday, March 11, 2010


"Hosanna..I came closer to life... Hosanna..I stood closer to death.. Hosanna, if you ask why..I would say its love.."

You know what's my problem??..arghhh.. nevermind.. no point telling it here.. but I have found out something.. that when we hear about other people's problem..we may feel its something small..something very umimportant..something we can go through easily.. but to that person..its a BIG PROBLEM!! ...i dont know how else to explain..but when you're in it..then you'll realize..=)

Not that I have a problem..with having problem.. speaking of which..I have a lot NOW!!.. hmm..ever felt like quitting everything..and just walk on.. just let go.. of everything that has been holding you back.. walk wherever your feet takes you.. follow wherever your heart goes.. insane and illogical..completely stupid.. byt yeah..ever felt like it??

I mean..why do you wanna leave this temporary heaven and go on searching for touble??..clearly its not something you want to do if you want to stand high with the winers..and show off to the world..that you are someone..

But maybe.. life is not about winning all the time.. its not about having everything you want.. and its certainly not about the designer clothes you wear..

and sometimes.. you just got to get some fresh air.. away from all this nonsense.. away from this madness.. and everything that is fake.. something that you clearly know is not right but you still do it.. and thats how the world goes.. you wanna fit gotta do it!!..

Maybe all life is offering you are stand out and all circumstances.. taking chances is what makes you lose the grip and break this chain.. dare to be matter how foolish it seems..or how they treat you.. be who HE wants you to be.. light of the world..salt of the earth.. the one who carries heaven in your heart..and wants others to have it as well.. the one who perseveres and doesn not only 'get on' with life..but make the best out of it..

Clearly.. I'm not a winner.. that doesn't mean..I'm a loser either.. Maybe I'm a fighter.. lol.. no..not the one with a gun or wings.. but the one who has faith..=)

I got no idea what I'm trying to say..but yeah..thats bout it..=)

Good nite and god bless..

Monday, March 8, 2010


Why does A.R RAHMAN..have to compose his songs in such a way..that I can't stop listening to it..?? It's a very bad influence you know.. when you have 4 assignments due this 2 weeks..and mid term coming up next week..sigh..

I'm sorry..I know I shouldn't influence you guys as well.. but the song is beyond AWESOME!!..yes..the hosanna song from the latest tamil movie..VTV!!.. the song where everyone was talking about..and I told myself..'NO!!..I'M NOT GONNA GET ADDICTED TO SUCH NONSENSE"!!..but usual..i was wrong..very wrong.

Go and listen..I dare you!!..XD

Anyway..there's so much I wanna blogged how I donated blood..and created a scene!!..heheeheh.. yeah..typical me.. Jon even said.."THIS REMINDS ME OF WHAT HAPPEN IN GOODWILL GAMES...NOT BAD AR JUAN..YOU ARE ABLE TO SHINE WHERE EVER YOU GO!!"...

yeah..some kinda 'karat' shine!!..ehehehe.. My pressure was kinda low..and I semangatly thought my 4 hours ago breakfast was yeah.. everyone surrounded i was about to give birth..or something..and me..YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN GOODWILL GAMES!!..

somethings are better left unsaid..=)..

I realize something about me..I'm very very argumentative!!..sigh.. yes..I argue..even when I know it doesnt make sense.. when I know I have no more points left!!.. my mom asked.."y didnt you become a lawyer??" ...I said.."course I dont TALK IN PUBLIC..just write!!" ..and your talking to a girl who leaves the house at 7.25..when the school starts at 7.30.. lol.. and one more thing..I was a prefect.. 'jaga gate' some really the kinda person to defend you..'loyar buruk' ..maybe can..=p

and yes..I suddenly have this sudden urge to write a love story.. I don't know.. course I think this world has lost its true meaning of love.. broken relationships.. I mean where's the love that brought them together in the first??..the love that said.."I'll be with you till death do us part.."..or some even said.."Not even death can bring us down.." ...I dont know.. well if I happen to be in a relationship.. yes relationship..but not to hook up.. there's a big difference.. when your in a relationship..You're committed.. you want to make it last.. to face the world matter how much they tear you apart.. and yes I have found the answer.. ok answers..

for a marriage to last..
1) God to be put first!!
2) communication..
3) great sex..=)

thats based on what I watched in Oprah.. what I read in 'men are from mars and women are from venus" matter what the movie THE UGLY TRUTH me..this book is worth also based on my experience!!..heheehe

wow..I think I should become a marriage counselor..hmmm... I know..i change my mind really fast..hehehe..

anyway..some other time k??

take care..god bless..

Saturday, March 6, 2010

today was a fairy tale..

"I don't care what they say..I'm in love with you.. they try to pull me away.. But they don't know the truth.. my hearts crippled by the vein that I keep on closing.." more song..

"Can you feel this magic in the must have been the way you kissed me.. fell in love when I saw you standing there.. It must have been that way.. today was a fairy tale!!"

hehehehe..and was a fairy tale!! guys or anything..its SHOPPING!!!..weeeeeeeee!!..Sogo was on giler-giler!!..seriously..i suggest you girls to go there.. got 2 pairs of 'lady like' jeans...for RM 100!!..half the price wei!!...and a shoe!!..weeeeee!!..I loved it sooo much!!..its actually a wedges!!..for about RM 60!!.. and its ERICA!!...well I hate walking in to make me look taller..WEDGES!!..the best solution!!..LOL...hmmm..sorry sorry..I know this stuff aint really important..but it was really like a fairy tale!!..XD... Thank you Lord for making a girl!!..hehhehee...

I was thinking of getting a hair cut.. But I never really exactly had a long hair.. fact..this is one of the longest!!.. and its kinda look at the mirror..and pretend your advertising for or when the wind blows..and gently caress the sometimes..its really irritating have your face..covered with your hair..and when its tooo hot..and you begin to sweat!!..and you wish you were BALD!!..

Basically its not that easy being a girl...i most of the'll be in dilemma.. on which clothes are better..or which color to choose.. heels or flats??..and nail nails are PINK AND BLUE!!..I decided that I should just go all out.. crazy, weird and random!!.. n..despite all the assignment hassle..the nails..have to be polished!! is a must too!!..

hmmm...sometimes I wonder.. does a guy have the feeling to look good as well??.. I mean yeah..I've seen..all those baggy jeans..with the checkard underwear..hehehe..well it kinda caught my eyes!!..coincidentally..with the perfect hair that never matter how strong the wind the shoes..that is as high as a ladies pumps!!..LOL..

But I've also seen..the 3 quarter pants..with a really old t-shirt..and slippers.. messed up hair..together with the look.."you gotta a problem with me??"..hehehehe

Beyonce's.."If I were a boy"..didnt really show a good impression on guys... but yeah..till i find someone who proves her song wrong.. perhaps I'll change mine as well..hehe

K lar..I have to give away..350 ml of my blood tomorow!!..heheeh..c ya!!

Friday, March 5, 2010

everyday, every second and every moment!

"You're so damm beautiful.."

Hmmm.."would you go out with me today??".. Right question..just THE WRONG PERSON asking it!!

I'm sorry..I cant say 'yes' when I feel nothing.. I don't know how some people do it.. but its happening quite often these Mr Ken, my lecturer was saying.. Love is no more love these days.. one sleeps with a new girl everyday...Indeed, love is like a game..with many players.. lol

Its weird you know.. I mean the ones that searches for real love..ends up with JErks!!..The ones who doesnt..ends up with A GUY!!..and then he is left heart broken!!..sigh...=(

Anyway..I went to watch that new tamil movie..*cant remember the name*..with the 'HOSANNA' song in being the typical girl..can say that the movie..was a bit tooo OVER in the LOVEY DOVEY mode.. imagine this.. "would you cross the skies with me??" ..and this sentence was repeated..almost through out the movie..but subtitles WERE DAMM GOOD!!..hehe

Actually, the movie wasnt that bad..esp the ending.. many of them..would have hated it..but I loved it!!..because its something..YOU'LL NEVER EVER EXPECT!!..and it reminds of the real world.. where you can't always get what you just got to live..with what you have..=)

and please...dont ever take me to watch another LOVE STORY again!!!!..i'll be emo-ing to the max.. want a prove?? a look..

Everyday, every second and every moment!!
by Juan Margrita!!

Everyday is a gift..
Or so I was told..

But they were wrong..
For the only gift..
I long to receive..
is you...
The very you..
that I see, what the world cant..
Beautiful and perfect..
and indeed..
everyday is worthwhile..

Every second is precious..
They told me that too..

But whats a second..
Without your smile..
that sends me shivers all over..
Without your laugh..
that makes me wanna hear it..
over and over again..

Without those words..
that makes me smile..
even in the darkest hour..
Without those eyes..
Where I see my world in it..
where I loose myself..
just by starring at it..

Every moment is to be cherished..
They just wont stop!!

And with my head held high up...
I Took a deep breath..
and whispered these words..

Every moment..without you
Is like a heart without a home...
A soul without a body..
The earth..without the sun..
The ocean without the ground..
The baby..without her mother..
The bird without wings..

I could go on..and on
But its beyond words..
For my world..
just can't be right..
without you in my life..

Everyday, every second.. every moment..
Is paradise..
When I'm with you!!

So you see??..what happens when you bring the lovey-dovey stuff to me??..LOL.. and you know..sometimes I think I should be born as a guy!! really..hehehe

sigh..what a weirdo!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

kambakth ISHQ!!

"Even if the sky is falling down.. You are my only.. Don't need to worry.. baby are you down..down..down..down..."

Yeah just...go away...hope the sky falls down on you!!...cilaka!!..


"KAMBAKHT ISHQ!!" seriously!! betul-betul babi!!...hehehe.. apparently babi and daymm...are the only words I use to yeah... BABIIIII!!..CILAKA!!...sigh... well ISHQ..i'm sure you know what is it..=)... its that F.O.U.R LETTER WORD...that begins with "L" ..
"kambakht"!!! find out yourself...hehehe

I think its like really useless.. I mean.. aaarrgghhh..I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT OUT HERE!!..

stttteeewwwpiiidddd betul!!

*I'm sorry...but someone just crossed the line!!..*... dont win her heart... and expect her to say it..nut!!

Come on matter how much the world changes...TRADITIONAL WAY STILL ROCKS!!..
Your the freaking guy.. ok.. so yeah!!..prove it!!..=)


I'm sure..theres some girls out there who totally agree with me!!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

bad day!!

"Every step I take.. Every move I make.. every single day.. every time I pray.. I'll be missing you.."

Today was a bad day!!...

Firstly, I had to board the train in the morning.. Saha came in to work late..
It's been awhile since I took the early morning train.. and goodness.. NOTHING CHANGED!!.. In fact it was worse.. People if it was their last day on earth.. pushing heartlessly.. whether you are blind, lame, paralyzed, or OLD..nothing will stop MALAYSIAN from NOT RUSHING into the train.. Sooooooo very inconsiderate..and very selfish!!.. just because I'm well..not that tall..and your like double my size..and height..that doesn't give you the treat me like I'M INVISIBLE!!..grrrr...

I was soooooo erm...pissed off... that the moment I entered the train.. I was starring at all those 'sleeping with their mouth open' passengers..with the thought..."if looks could kill!!"...I felt very guilty after that..I mean it's not their fault that the train was too crowded and they're sitting there comfortably while I was stuck trying to protect my bag from then luckily NADIA, BEN AND PHAT FABES from FLY FM..manage to divert me.. At least, I had some sense to bring along my year phone with me..=)

and by the way..I finally found out the advantage..of being..well..MY SIZE!!.. I get to squeeze in anywhere I like.. while getting into UCSI BUS.. I was somewhere at the back..somehow.. I went through the gaps in between.. and weeeee..I got a seat!!... wait a minute.. I just proved that I'm a typical MALAYSIAN rite??..I mean a moment ago..I was complaining about people pushing..and here I am.. pushed myself through get a seat.. sigh..

Humans.. they complain.. and complain..and complain.. then they do it themselves.. and complain again!!..sigh.. will we ever change??

Then I had 8am MALAYSIAN STUDIES CLASS... and somehow the brain has put up a big WALL against this subject.. not because it's toooo bored.. somehow I feel like its all TOTAL CRAP!!.. and today I was so right.. The lecturer asked a question.."IS MALAYSIA AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY??" ..My heart shouted YES!!..but the mouth remained see what's her point.. and she strongly said.."NO!!" ...according to her..if Malaysia was an Islamic country, we(non-islam) have to come to college all COVERED!!..and that she will not be able to come her KEBAYA that follows her body shape..

Well, if you ask me..thats the lamest reason I've heard..but she's a nice lecturer.=)..still MALAYSIA is an ISLAMIC COUNTRY!!..that's an undeniable fact... why??.. because once your a Muslim..your a Muslim for life!!.. you marry a muslim..dream can bring him or her to your religion... even death can do you no good..You'll have to be burried in their cemetry.. so how can it not be an Islamic country??.. and guess what else she said.."IT'S GOOD THAT WE HAVE ISA!!" ..My jaw dropped open.. it took me 3 seconds to close it back.. of course for her..its good to have ISA..course their people never get CAUGHT IN IT!! much for being one Malaysia la..

The moment when it came to advertising class.. I was over the edge already..sigh.. I just wanted go back home..and SLEEP!!.. and never get up!!..haizzz...

well anyway..despite all this nonsense today.. I FINALLY had my RM4.00 chicken rice near my house.. it's been ages la.. YUMMY!!'s best ever far..hehe..

alrite then..and by the way.. over 60 views??!! suddenly it shot up??..hmmm.. lol.. nothing interesting also I posted what.. hehehe..weird..

take care!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

note to God

"You got me lifted, shifted higher than a ceiling.. oh wee..its the ultimate feeling.. You got me lifted feeling so gifted..suga, how you get so fly??..suga suga how you get so fly..??

Just a random question..."If the world was to end in a month time..what would you do??" .... what would I do??... I haven't finished my degree.. I haven't driven to college by my self.. I haven't gotten my nose pierced.. I haven't bought my own car.. I haven't visited Paris.. I haven't bought my mom..that RM150 bag..she's been eying.. I haven't HAD A BABY!!...yes.. the little one in my fragile..wait a minute...I haven't even found the dude!! least I manage to compose my FIRST SONG!! down.. a dozen more to go..=(..

I haven't even written my book!!...=(.. it's one of my wish.. to actually write a book..preferably fiction.. Once, my sister asked me to write a 1500 story about mid life crisis..Imagine this, A second year degree student la..kononya..asked me..I just started my foundation that write a story!!..hehe.. With all the little knowledge I had..I wrote a piece..and guess what??..SHE GOT FULL MARKS!!..weeeeeeeeeeeee!!..HEHEHE... not bad ar?? you see.. Part of me wants to write a complete book!!...or maybe I should just publish my blog..hehehe.."THE DIARY OF JUAN MARGRITA" ...something like.."the diary of bridget jones"..yeah yeah..I dont think anyone will buy it..I;m surprise..there are still people who reads my ...its a nice movie.. I just watched it MASS COM CLASS!!..hehe..yeah.. in mass com..we get to watch movies too!!..AWESOME RITE??

Anyway..due to the latest disasters in the world..I'll keep my fingers crossed.. that I'll be alive to see tomorrow..and the next..and the next.. this song..will sum it all up..=)

Note to God lyrics Charice

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away,
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God
I would say what on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world
Until these times
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

No, no no no
We can't do this on our own

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God

Sometimes..while your waiting for the bus.. or queuing up in the line..or wouldn't hurt say.."LORD, I PLACE THIS DAY IN YOUR HANDS.. HELP ME THAT THE WORDS I SAY, THE THINGS I SEE.. THE WORDS I HEAR..MAY BE OF YOU..AND ONLY YOU!! AMEN!!" ...

And thats how I stay alive..all heart, soul, body and mind..all day long!!..=)