Monday, June 29, 2009

Wedding and saree

I should be studying..but of cause..I never felt like studying..I dont even feel like blogging.. No idea why..=( ....there's this sense of uncomplete-ness in the 'something-is-so-wrong' kinda feeling when in fact..everything seems to be perfect..'s my first time weating saree pics..for my cuz wedding..=) cousin and's her first time as well..=)

sorry for my absolute vain-ness..but i like my one day tattoo..=p

My sis and me..hehe


If my sis sees this..she'll be like..'go and get a life JUAN!!.'...hehehe..

and again..hehe

Don't worry this is the last..but my eyes cacat a bit..cant see my blue contacts..hehe

Ok that's it ppl!!...take care God bless
p/s I love my saree blouse!!..=)

Friday, June 26, 2009

A tribute to MJ..=(

I have no idea why I felt like blogging bout michael jackson.. Who is he to me?? What did he do?? All I heard about him is the-not-so-good-things.. Half of the world said he molested little boys.. The newspaper reported that he converted to Islam..

hmmm..firstly, i care less what the world says.. Maybe he did all those things up there..or maybe he didn't.. I dont know.. What I know is..he loved the world..he cared for the world.. Its all there in the song..HEAL THE WORLD, WE ARE THE WORLD..THE LOST CHILDREN.. and not to mention his an excellent moon walker.. his voice also not that bad..=)

One of my favorite songs..from his collection is DON'T WALK AWAY..and YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. and i really admire the artist who sings their own song.. I think they are really gifted..

Anyway..all I want to say dont believe things..till you hear it from they themselves..and see it in your own eyes..and better still dont add on to what you hear..thats probably why we get stories like the guy who wrote songs about 'THE LOST CHILDREN' actually started molesting them.. that's a little bit ridiculous..haiz..

neway..I'll post this song.. as a tribute to him.. well somehow i feel related to this song..


Another day has gone..I'm still all alone..
How could this're not here with me..
You never said goodbye..someone tell me why..
Did you have to go..and leave my world so cold..?
Everyday I sit and ask myself..
How did love slip away..?
Something whispers in my ears and says..
That you are not alone..for I am here with you..
Though you're faraway..I am here to stay.
But you are not alone..for I am here with you..
Though we're far apart..You're always in my heart..
You are not alone..
Just the other night..I though I heard you cry..
Asking me to come and hold you in my arms..
I can hear your prayers..Your burdens I will bear..
But first I need you hand then forever can begin..
Everyday I sit and ask myself..
How did love slip away..?
Something whispers in my ears and says..

That you are not alone..for I am here with you..
Though you're faraway..I am here to stay.
But you are not alone..for I am here with you..
Though we're far apart..You're always in my heart..
You are not alone..
Oh whisper the three words..and I'll come running..
And I, you know that I'll be there..I'll be there..
That you are not alone..for I am here with you..
Though you're faraway..I am here to stay.
But you are not alone..for I am here with you..
Though we're far apart..You're always in my heart..
You are not alone..
Hmmmm...well you's a lot better when you imagine that Jesus is singing the chorus part ..and also the second verse.. But I know for sure that I am not alone..and so is MJ!!..
Rest in will always be remembered..=)

Thursday, June 25, 2009


sheesh!!..I'm addicted to this song..=(

Give me more lovin' than i've ever had..
Make it all better when i'm feelin' sad..
Tell me that I'm special..even when I know I'm not..

Make me feel so good when I hurt so bad..
Barely getting mad..I'm so glad I found you..
I love being around you..
You make it easy..
As easy as 1,2..1,2,3,4...

There's only one thing..
to do..
three words..
for you..
I love you..
There's only one way..
to say..
those three words..
that;s what I'll do..
I love you..!!

Give me more lovin' from the very start..
Piece me back together when I fall apart..
Tell me never even tell to your closest friends..

Make me feel so good when I hurt so bad..
Best that I've had..I'm so glad I found you..
I love being around you..
You make it easy..
As easy as 1,2..1,2,3,4...

There's only one thing..
to do..
three words..
for you..
I love you..
There's only one way..
to say..
those three words..
that;s what I'll do..
I love you..!!

wahhhh!! easy!!..yet it's sooo hard as well..=)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Tuesday afternoon

I was suppose to post this yesterday...but Tuesday's BOOKED!!..guess will have to do it today..

Anyway..I don't know why i was extremely tired yesterday.. during business class, I can't barely open my eyes..hehe..and also mel...which is kinda weird..cause..she rarely slept during lectures.. hehe not to say I always sleep during lectures..but yeah..I know..I'm a bit lazy..ALRITE ALRITE!! i admit..i'm always lazy..hehehe..

Class finished kinda early yesterday..which means..I HAD MORE TIME TO SLEEP!! when i get back.. hehe..geee..wish i like doing something else..besides sleeping..sigh.. Anyway..I was in the train ..closing my eyes of cause..when I felt my whole jeans vibrating!! hehe..I thought it was my mom.. she's the only one who loves calling at odd times..but it wasn't.. the name on my screen was 'Ms Goh!!' piano teacher...

Let me tell you her a little about her...she's single and stays alone..and I'm her favorite student!!'s because she'll always tells her problems to me.. I painted her house with her.. went to the hair stylist with her...went out shopping to tesco..and also mid valley..massaged her back.. talked for hours after my lessons...we always prayed together as well, she was of another denomination but it wasn't a barrier for prayers..and so on...i was really close to her..=) She taught me a lot.. both about piano and also life..

So I hesitantly answered the phone..and she asked whether am I free to follow her to the remove her tooth!!.. Now meeting the dentist for her is like...sitting for my piano exam..or getting my exam results!! She'll be so nervous..and start breaking cold sweats.. She's afraid that she might faint.. and if she does she wants me to be there...

hmmm..a voice beside me was shouting..'BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP??!!' ..and so of cause I heard that voice clearly..instead of saying..'YES, NO PROBLEM..' I told class finishes very late today..around 4.. (it was 2.30 at that time..) why not we go tomorrow?? and she went on..saying that the nurse asked her to do it it as soon as possible..

She said..she'll wait for me..and fetch me once I reach the station.. well, I was out of excuses.. and so I said 'OK!!' heart was so against it.. because as it is i am tired..and at night..i had to attend the 4th week of LSS!! yeah..

I was in the train..still when I remembered the bible's like God was speaking to me.. "WHEN I WAS THIRSTY, DID YOU GIVE ME WATER? WHEN I WAS NAKED DID YOU CLOTH ME? WHEN I WAS LONELY DID YOU VISIT ME??"

The questions pierced my heard like arrows.. I was like..'OKEY OKEY!!..I'M SORRY I TOLD A LIE'..and I couldn't sleep after that.. My teacher needs a friend..and probably she recognized JESUS in me!!..and instead of searching for Jesus in her as well..I was rejecting her!! *sigh*

So that day..i spent my afternoon with the dentist!! I was right next to her..holding her hand while he was repairing her teeth.. Brought many memories back.. Like when I was a nurse.. missed those moments!!..somehow I am not destined to be one..sigh..

That night after LSS..she came to my my parents..'complimenting me...hehe... and then she was like..'you have 2 beautiful daughters!!'...My sis was like..'only 1 what teacher!!' .. i gave her the..'YOU ARE SO VAIN' kinda look..hehhe..she brought my favorite ZIP chocolate and kiwis!!..hehe..she still remembered!!!..=)

And so that's how i spent my afternoon..instead of sleeping..and yes..i felt a feeling of satisfaction deep down..and unexplainable joy..=)

Take care..god bless

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I'm not missing you

I'm Not Missing You
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiosity
Now that its over
What else could it be, he just had to cheat
I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time its different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
Its a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?
I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?'
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around
No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when its right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
(I'm not missing you)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
(I got life to do)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone(I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh see the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

Sunday, June 21, 2009

please watch

Hey there..I know I havent been blogging for a few days..been really really busy...will blog about it when I have the time..=)

But right now..please view this video..only 5 mins.. trust me..its worth it!!..and please pause my playlist and turn on your speakers..dont take away ur eyes.. it might take a while for it to get loaded...but it's worth..You watch it and you'll no why.. TC!!=)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The eagle

Zachary Benedict Stanhope...reminds me of someone.. His words..his gentleness..his temper..his humuor.. hmmm..if only i have the chance to meet him..sigh..

Well anyway..have you ever heard of the most amazing bird of all??...The eagle.. Sharp eyes.. Sharp ears.. its beak.., its talons(claws).. wings..widely spread.. Ever wondered why is God always says ..'YOU WILL SOAR ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES..' 'I WILL FLY ON EAGLES WINGS..' and so on.. whats so fascinating about this bird anyway??.. Is it because it can fly very high??..well no doubt..all other birds could fly as high as it could.. or maybe because it's a carnivore??..a meat eating bird.. hmmm..but still what has it got to do with us??..why is it we have to fly like an eagle..

=)...well, I found out why.. that the 3rd week of LSS.. Do you long an eagle could live??..for about 70-120 years..and after that.. its beak becomes very wont be able to rip of any flesh.. Its talons(claws).. shortens..and it becomes weak.. It wont be able to catch it's prey.. It's feathers..on its wings..becomes dry..and it wont be able to fly anymore..

Gee..yeah..Why in the world did God compare us with such painful and awful not to mention 'evil' looking creature??..Did He seriously think..we're as weak as that..wearing off soon.. Not being able to go through this life anymore..??

=) hmmm...well once again..God has a reason for everything He does.. Did you know.. at this point..the eagle..can either choose to die..or GO THROUGH A 150 DAYS OF AGONY and thereafter be reborn..all new and strengthen..??

Yeap... Up on the mountains..the eagle will first knock its beak against the stones..till it breaks.. Yes it is very painful..and then it waits for the new beak to grow.. When the beak is fully grown.. the eagle will use its new beak to pull out the talons from its legs.. Imagine someone pulling off ur nails with a pliers..yes again it is very painful.. And then it waits again..for the new talons to grow.. Once it is fully grown.. the eagle will then use it's new talons.. to scratch away the old feathers.. hmm...try putting a cellophin tape on your hand..and pull it off.. see the hairs on the tape..pain??.. well..the eagle will felt more of it.. and then it finally waits for the all the new be fully grown again..=) well..this whole process takes about 150 days.. and do know..that the eagle..won't be able to eat anything.. a 150 days full of suffering.. But hey..once it's done.. THE EAGLE IS REBORN!!.. A new birth..a new life..a new journey..a whole new world!!.. fascinating creatures aren't they??..

And is truly awesome!!.. His ways are simply beyond our thoughts!!.. I've got no words...

But there's a catch here... The choices are in the eagles hands!! The eagle can either choose to die..or go through a 150 days of suffering and be reborn again...!!..=)

I think that's exactly why we are compared to eagles.. We can either choose to suffer..with, trust and have faith in HIM...or we can let the struggles of the world..ruined our lives..loose faith in God..push him aside..and eventually died away from Him.. But no matter what our choices are..He never stopped loving us..and never left us even for a second.. well why?? He formed us didn't He?? our mother's womb..He carefully knitted those tiny arms and legs.. He even numbered the hairs on our head!! and yes indeed.. He has counted every drop of our tears..=) Beautiful aint it??..well, i think is it..=)

O my soul..
Do you not know?
Have you not heard..
It's been told..from the beginning..
The Lord your God..
Is on your side..

O my soul..
Don't be afraid..
Hope in the Lord..
By His righteousness and power..
He will strengthen
He will guide..

And I will rest upon His promise..
Patiently I'll wait..

And I will soar on wings like eagles..
Held by the Hand of God..
I will run and not grow tired..
When on His name I call..
For the Lord..
Is never weary..
His ways are beyond my thoughts..
I will trust in Him with all my heart..

take care..God bless!!

Love will show everything

Oh my...beautiful..absolutely beautiful!!..damm!! why does my life have to be miserable..sigh..
Anyway..this song is beautiful...seriously..!! =) I bet my life..
You have no idea..what I feel inside..
Don't be afraid to let it show...
For you never know..if you let it out..

I love you..You love me..
Take this gift..and don't ask why..
Cause if you..will let me..
I'll take..what scares you and hold it deep inside..
And if you.. ask me why
I'm with you..and why I'll never leave..
Love will show you everything..

One day..when youth is just a memory..
I know..You'll be standing right next me..

I love you..You love me..
Take this gift..and don't ask why..
Cause if you..will let me..
I'll take..what scares you and hold it deep inside..
And if you.. ask me why
I'm with you..and why I'll never leave..
Love will show you everything..

=) I lost my playlist..have to retrieve back the songs...sigh.. matter what..
Let love lead the way..
For it conquers all..
Even the heart of'll break,,
Even the heart of cures..
So yeah..
Let love show me everything..=)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Friends and me..

Gosh..somehow i think..this soo meant for me..=(

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
nothing AND WISHING you had?

I guess the MOST IMPORTANT things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, YOU might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your
feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we
don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger..

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never
be there?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone MORE THAN EVER AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE THEM??

*What would you do if you NEVER GOT THE chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?*

People live, but people die.

So to all my friends out matter who you are..whether you read my blog or not!!..I'm soo happy that we became friends..and that each one of you had made a difference..just even by saying..'hi and bye'!! So if at all I've hurt anyone of you...I'm truly sorry..from the bottom of my heart!!.. Never meant any of it.. I love you all so much!! and you'll all stay in my heart forever..=)

take care and god bless..

Lots of love..
Juan Margrita..=)


(Received this some time not fortunate to experience..but perhaps for those who may help..=)

Article 1:

Statement of Love: The Kiss

1. Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3. Kiss on the neck
I want you

4. Kiss on the lips
I love you

5. Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6. Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8. Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3. Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.

Article 3: The Commandments

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.

3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore' even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'

18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

24. The way you miss them

25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not.
Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
A feeling.Only felt.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to copy-paste this note, and answer all the questions. At the end, choose 15 people to be tagged - including the person who tagged you. (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, paste the questions, answer the questions, tag 15 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

ABC About You Questions:
A - AVAILABLE: Not yet..=(
C - CRUSHING ON: Edward Cullen..!!..weeee
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Coke..hehe
F - FAVORITE SONG: shayne Ward..
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: bears!!..who would want a gummy worms??..
H - HOMETOWN: was born in KL..=)
J - JUGGLE: with 2 balls..
K - KILLED SOMEONE: no..........
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: far it's to Johore..hehe.=)
O - ONE WISH: ...erm..everything will work out fine??
R - REASON TO SMILE: Jesus loves me..=)
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 8am..hehe..sis sent me today..for the 10 am clas..=)
V - VEGETABLE(S): not bad...i guess..hehe
W - WORST HABIT: careless..=(
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: hmm, chest x-ray..twice!!..dont ask..
Y – YOYOS ARE: comment..
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Gemini...

Random Questions About You:

Spell your name without vowels: JN MRGRT...lolz!!
What color do you wear most?: all colours!!..mostly black i guess..
What are you listening to?: My mom..=p
Are you happy with your life right now?: Not really..but it will get better..i know it will..
What is your favorite class in school?:
When do you start back at school/college?: Tomorrow..=(
Are you outgoing?: i guess..
Favorite pair of shoes?: my flip flops..hehe....
Where do you wish you were right now?: anywhere..but here..=(

Can you dance?: lolz...u dont wanna know..=p
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?:haha..nope..
Can you whistle?: nope..only air comes out..
Write with both hands?: hehe..nahh..
Walk with your toes curled?: not sure..i think yes..

Do you believe there is life on other planets?: unless there's air..then yes.....
Do you believe in miracles?: yea..
Do you believe in magic?: erm....depends..
Love at first sight?: there's crush at first sight..but u got to know that person to love them..=)
Do you think there's a Satan?: yes..
Do you believe in Santa?: i believe in st nick..
Do you know how to swim?: hehe..just flap my hands and legs..and yes i do move guess i know how to..=p
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: i'd like to try..=)

Have you ever been on a plane?: yes...
Have you ever asked someone out?: erm...yeap..
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: yes...
Have you ever been to the ocean?: YES!!!
Have you ever painted your nails?: duh!!..(sick of yes..)..hehe

What is the temperature outside?: warm//
What radio station do you listen to?: Mix,Hitz and Fly
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: MCD!!
What was the last thing you bought?: Food from mcd at mid valley
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: me...hehehe

Ever really cried your heart out?: yes...
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: sadly yes..again..
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: uh-huh...=(
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: damm...wassup with these questions..and yes i have!!
Do you cry when you get an injury?: i try not to..
Do certain songs make you cry?: definitely..

Are you a happy person?: yes..i guess
What can make you happy?: friends...
Do you wish you were happier?: i guess...
Can music make you happy?: yeap...

How many times have you had your heart broken?: erm...let's not talk bout it..
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: yes!!..guess they missed their chance..

What is your current hair color?: not sure..some rusty color..
Current piercings?: ears..hehe
Have any tattoos?: nope..
Eye color?: dark brown

Favorite eye color: it doesnt matter..
Short or long hair: lol..short..i guess..
Height: taller than me..
Best clothing: it doesnt matter..

Been to jail: nope..
Mooned someone: no...
Thrown up in a store: lol..nope!!
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today:of coz!! a lot..!!
Gone skinny dipping: nope..

Pepsi or Coke : hmm..wat difference??..they taste the same..=)
McDonald's or Burger King: MCD!!
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate..
Strawberries or Blueberries: strawberries!!
Meat or Veggies: both..
TV or Movie: both..hehe
Guitar or Drums?: BOTH!!
Adidas or Nike: erm...noth..
Chinese or Mexican: mexican..hehe
Cheerios or Corn Flakes : coco crunch and honey stars..hehe
Cake or Pie: cake??..hehe

have fun again!!

Guilty or innocent..=)

You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 (20 O.o ) of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.

Asked someone to marry you?

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?

Danced on a table in a bar?

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Kissed a picture?

Slept in until 5 PM?

Fallen asleep at work/school?

Held a snake?

Been suspended from school?

Worked at a fast food restaurant?

Stolen from a store?

Been fired from a job?

Done something you regret?

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

Kissed in the rain?

Sat on a roof top?

Kissed someone you shouldn't?

Sang in the shower?

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

Shaved your head?

Slept naked?

Had a boxing membership?

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Been in a band?

Shot a gun?

Donated Blood?

Eaten alligator meat?

Eaten cheesecake?

Still love someone you shouldn't?

Have/had a tattoo?

Liked someone, but will never tell who?

Been too honest?

Ruined a surprise?

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk afterwards?

Erased someone in your friends list?

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?

Joined a pageant?

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

Had communication w/ your ex?

DATING Someone?

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?

A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney fare?

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?

have fun..=)

Monday, June 15, 2009

15th june

15th of June... Last time..this date seemed to be my favorite.. can't wait to see what's in store from my me..hehehe.. but nowadays.. it seems like a normal ordinary day.. Not to say I don't have any present..maybe I'm growing..and becoming an adult..and I realize there's more to life..then just a CHOCOLATE INDULGENCE SECRET RECIPE CAKE~! heeheh..and my presents..0r maybe I just don't feel like it..or perhaps the environment I'm in..=(

2 years back..was the best!!..firstly i received a call from an unexpected 12am!! crush la..and then..i got bashed with eggs, flour and water..!! hehe..yeah gross!! but hey..i know my friends love me sooooooo much!! they are willing to waste money on eggs and far the best bday gift ever!! was looking like an adorable chocolate mixture..they should have brought an oven as well..I'm sure I would have been the most delicious cake alive!!!..hehehe

Ok enough crapping.. Anyway I can't believe my friend I've never met for 4 years still remembers my birthday!!..Gosh...i was moved to tears when i received their msges.. sobs..sobs.. I don't think i deserve these kinda friends..considering the fact that I dont think I'm a good enough to be their friend..=( childhood friend called..and was on the phone for about almost 90 mins!! hehehe..Lots of stories!! hehe..oh here's the best part..i got a msged..ALL THE WAY FROM AUSSIE!!! ...hehehehe..yeah i know ..jakun!! but I was impressed for he still remembers my number by heart..hehe!!

Anyway..guess that's it..

Oh yeah..
I wonder why is it called 'HAPPY'..cause I was born??
But..but.. it's a reminder 'YOUR GETTING OLD!!'..
how can it be happy then??..hmmm..weird world..weird ppl..=)

Take care..god bless!!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

beloved one..

I remember...during SPM bible knowledge exam..the one passage where i loved the most..was the prodigal son..

You know..there is a lot of underlying meaning beyond this beautiful story.. Firstly..according to the Jewish custom..a father can never divide he's properties..till he is dead!!..Secondly, a Jew is not allowed to touch or even go near swines!! Thirdly, a father is not allowed to run and hug his son if the sons disowned him...'s the story..A father once had 2 sons..the second son.. asked for his part of his share.. Of cause the father was extremely sad here..but still he broke the jewish custom and gave what his son wanted.. And this son of his..spent all his money..on the materials of the earth..alcohol..women..drugs.. Till he reached a point..where he had nothing at all!!..He was drained..of all his money.. and also his friends.. no where to where to turn too..DESPERATE!! He agreed to work in a swine farm.. u can imagine how hard his life must have been..till he was willing to break the law..and live with the pigs.. And now..this second son..finally got back to his senses.. and he told to himself.. 'FATHER, I HAVE SINNED AGAINST GOD AND AGAINST YOU..I AM NO LONGER FIT TO BE CALLED YOUR SON; TREAT ME AS ONE OF YOUR WORKERS!!'

And so this son..with a new heart and soul..went back home.. hoping and wishing that his dad will accept him..and forgive him back.. But here's the best part.. His father saw him from afar..ran as fast as he could.. open his arms wide..hugged and kissed his son.. who has once disappointed and hurt him terribly.. But it didnt matter..all of that didnt matter.. What matter's is that his son!! is back home!! and so the son said.."FATHER, I HAVE SINNED AGAINST GOD AND AGAINST YOU..I'M NO LONGER FIT TO BE CALLED YOUR SON.." and he didn't even finish the last part..he didnt even finish the last sentence..and the father said.."HURRY!! PUT A ROBE ON HIM!! A RING ON HIS FINGER..SHOES ON HIS FEET!! KILL THE PRIZE CALF!! AND LET THE FEASTING BEGIN..FOR THIS SON OF MINE WAS DEAD..NOW ALIVE.. HE WAS LOST..BUT HAS BEEN FOUND!!.."

hehehe..amazing isnt it??..The joy and excitement shown by the father here??
Our Father in the same exactly.. Firstly, He will give us what he wants..!! If we ask for it.. Secondly, He will never abandon us.. It's clearly seen..that He is desperate and thirst for us...and is waiting for us to come back to Him!! Lastly, no matter how sinful we are..if we repent with all our heart and soul..He will carry us on His wings back!!


Father, I have sinned..
Helped me find my way..
Remember not my sins..
Just let me hear you say..

I forgive you..I love you..
You are mine..Take my hand..
Go in peace..sin no more..

Beloved one..

Father, I have turned..
My back and walked away..
Dependent on my strength..
And live life my own way..

Father I have loved..
If love's the word to use..
I've played so many games..
They've left me so confuse..

Father I have closed..
My heart to those in need..
Thought only of myself..
A victim of my greed..

Father I've returned..
I'm home with you stay..
Standing by the door..
Knowing that you'll say..

I forgive you..I love you..
You are mine..Take my hand..
Go in peace..sin no more..
Beloved one..

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Lousy pianist!!

I'm so saddd!!..and disappointed with myself!!..Why am I so dumb??!! haizz..

I just came back from choir practice...and my piano skills is really awful!!! Seriously..why did i choose to play??..Cause I wanna give back to God what He gave me...!! But it's not working..=( sighh..i think even heaven's door will close..when i's that terrible!!.. Tempo is out!! Timing sucks!! Goshhh!! And this weekend I have to play alone for mass!! Rozanne won't be playing the organ for certain songs!!..sobs..sobs.. She is my backbone..!! Don't know how am I gonna stand by myself now!!

And Camile..our 10 year old drummer!!..Gosh..she's brilliant!!..absolutely brilliant!! By seeing her play the drums..i want to play it so badly as well!! Her hand co-ordination is perfect!!..And she's only 10!! I think I'm already falling in love with the drums..Ashame on me!! Why can't i be like her!! excellently in one instrument..instead jumping from one to another..all halfway!!..gosh..i feel like a loser..yeah you're rite!! gUESS I am one!!..sighh

And on top of all..i agreed to cantor for Rozanne this week!! Not mention I'm already starting to have soar throat!!..Gosh why is it do I always find it hard to say 'NO!!!!' to be prepared to face the next humiliation.. But's Corpus Christi this week!!.. The feast of the Body and Blood of Christ.. And I really love the song ..'Under the blood!' ..The words are really meaningful.. Hope I dont spoil it..=(

I only remember the second part of the chorus where it says..

"I'm under the blood of the lamb!!..
That covers the guilt of my pass..
By the mercy of Christ!..Power and righteous I stand!!
I'm under the blood of the lamb..
I'm save and secure from the enemies plan..
No weapon formed..against me will come!
I'm under the blood of the lamb.."

hehe..soo cool rite?? especially the part..'I'M SAVE AND SECURE FROM THE ENEMIES PLAN!!" Dont know why I love that past a lot..=)

Anyway during practice..Chris played the song 'tears of heaven!!' and wow!!..You know I always admired ERIC CLAPTON..on how he plucks the guitar!!..Its superb!!..Seriously..can just sit there and listen for hours!!..And Chris plucked it the same way too.. I really love the music..=)

Not mention ..Chris an awesome guitarist!!..Marcus the rocking bassist!! Camile the marvelous drummer!! Rozanne the queen organist!! And Juan the lousy pianist!!..=( sigh..!!

So yeah way to go..HFC!!
Take care God bless!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Be magnified!!

Greetings people...I don't wanna skip this particular chapter in my that's why I'm blogging again..=)

Yesterday after movie i totally forgot that I had to attend the LSS organized by the Prayer group from HFC..It was the second week out of the nine.. I came back, showered, ate and rushed like mad..haizzz.. Anyway during praise and worship..i felt nothing!! for the first few songs.. I almost gave up.. Gave up on everything..=( And then Marcus, the worship leader asked.. How many of you has come here with a broken heart, hurt, loneliness and so on.?? please raise up your hand.. well eventually my hands went up.. and then he said.. Bow your heads..for the Lord says.. 'COME TO ME ALL YOU WHO ARE HEAVY LADEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST!!'

Now it wasnt that sentence that stirred but what he said after that... God is telling you this 'MY CHILD..MY DAUGHTER.. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.. I WILL GLADLY LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU..OVER AND OVER AGAIN...IF I HAVE TO...

And then it snapped...I snapped!! ..I broke down.. Crying and sobbing.. But I have got no idea why??...and how...what kinda tears was it??..I don't know but it was flowing a stream..and it didn't stop..I didn't want it to stop..cause it felt good!!..really good!! Amazing what a love soo unconditional can do.. And this love was all mine..forever mine.. and then right at that moment la..they just had to play the song..'above all' the time we reached the chorus part...i was drained already..but still cried even harder.. especially for the part..'YOU LIVE TO DIE, REJECTED AND ALONE!!'..gosh..I do not know how to explain.. I mean someone actually did that FOR ME!! ..and what the hell am i doing to repay him?? I just thought of giving up on HIM!! How in the world was i even able to consider it??..Forgive me dear lord!!

I could feel my flue covering up my nose...yeah ehhewwww!!..i desperately needed a tissue..which i didn't have one.. and thank God, Glynn was next to me,..she gently touched my back and handed me a's like she read my mind...hehe..thanks glynn!!.. But seriously it was awesome..

I've got no idea how someone could ever turn away from such great love..such great kindness.. We can't possibly fi1nd that kinda love anywhere.. though you walk through the ends of the earth.. YOU CAN'T !! I'm just soo lucky that i'm a catholic and that I have Jesus.. for I know..
Yes I am a fool..if at all i gave up!! =)

Anyway ever realize how the devil works??..The devil is indeed very clever..for it knows our weaknesses...and when we face our weakness, that's when it enters our life..and turn it all over.. turn away from God..and from everything that's good!! That's when it shows Jesus.."your servants are for no use!!' ..that's when the devil literally humiliates Jesus!! ...But hey... THE EVIL CANNOT WIN!! FOR THEIR VICTORY IS SIN!! the end of the day..IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU JESUS!! ..


I have made too small in my eyes..O Lord..
Forgive me..
I have believed in a lie..
That you were unable to help me..

But now O lord..
I see my wrong..
Heal my heart..and show Yourself strong..

And in my eyes..and with my song
O lord, Be magnified!!
O lord, Be magnified!!

Be magnified O lord..
You are highly exalted..
And there is nothing you can't do..
O eyes are on you..
Be magnified..
O Lord be magnified!!

17 AGAIN!!

Yesterday was a totally unexpected day!!..came to college and very glad to find out assignments were pilling up as usual..=p..the almost same group..and it's only the second week..but this time the assignments are quitE interesting..and we have learned our lesson.. like NOT DOING LAST MINUTE WORK!! ..but hey though it was all last minute..we practically scored kinda high for all assignments..well my stay-up-till-4am-coz-of-assignment tactic did paid off..!! hehe but this way..!! kononya wanna have strategy..hehe..start early..and relax later..=) hope it works..

Neway forget about assignments..guess what happen yesterday???!!!! I went out for movie!! weeee..damm i sound like a jakun..=p anyway went and watch 17 AGAIN!!!! OMIGOSH!!! ZAC EFRON IS SO FAR THE HAWTESTT DUDE EVER EXISTED!!! ...well his style..his damm gorgeous eyes to die for..!! ..his flexible hands with that basketball!!.lol.. his hair!! ..oh gosh!! His smile..I melted there and there!!..not to mention the GSC was freezing to death!! I'm obssessed!! ..He's a perfect example of what they call..tall,dark and handsome.. *wink* hehehe..ok lar..maybe not dark..but erm..tanned perhaps??

Now how in the world did i manage to watch the movie??..and with who??..hehehe.. a date?? ermm..this is how it started.. I was a bit dissappointed when Jacynta can make it for out outing on thursday!! =( and then while in ICT..crystal called.. and the same time she was on the house phone with was like a 3 way conversion!!..and then randomly stal said..come go watch movie!!..and just like that!! hehehe..i was on my way to midvalley..after my 2pm class..stal and shasi fetched cynta and drove to mid!! hehehe...

I finally met all of them!!..Gosh felt like i was 17 AGAIN!! ..=) we laughed..we joked..we talked..we laughed..err..i mean we laughed till we cried!! close to rolling to the groud.. Only this time it was a bit different..usually its all 3 of us will be checking out guys.. but this was only me and cynta!!..hehe..crystal has already found her soul mate you see..hehe anyway glad to know cynta's taste hasn't changed!!..mine??..errr..lolz..of cause it was unexpectedly high!! so whatever cynta say's 'he's kinda cutela'...i'll be like..'oklar!!" ..errr she reads this..i'm dead!!..but she knows what i mean..=p

Songs..hehehe...we were an inch close to actually sing in middle of the crowed!! hehe it's was cause of the song 1234 BY PLAIN WHITE T'S !! that song is amazingly superb!! seriously!! heehehe we were practically jumping when we found out that we were both in love with song!! and Stal!! cant stop pinching my cheeks..well for whatever reason is that la.. erm..not to mention she did bit me TWICE in school!! SHE BIT MY CHEEKS TWICE!! in front of all..hehehehe..well i was really chubby before la..still am..hehe..but gone down a bit..=(

Anyway these two special people in my life..made me beautiful the life God has given me.. He made it very clear..that when HE CLOSES A DOOR, HE OPENS ANOTHER.. =)
Stal and cynta may not replace the person i lost..but i know for one fact..that they will not leave matter what!!

Take care and God bless!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I have..=(

Have you ever loved somebody so much..
It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad..
You can't sleep at night..

Have you ever tried to find the words..
but they don't..come out right??

Have you ever??..

Have you ever been in love..Been in love so bad..
You'll do make them understand..
Have you ever had someone..steal your heart away..
You'll give make them feel the same..
Have you ever search the get you in their hearts..
But you don't know what to say..and you don't know where to start..

Have you ever loved somebody so much..
It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad..
You can't sleep at night..

Have you ever tried to find the words..
but they don't..come out right??

Have you ever??..

Have you ever found the've dreamed of all your life..
You'll do just about look into their eyes..
Have you finally found the've given your heart to??
Only to find the one.. will give their heart to you..
Have you ever closed your eyes..and dreamed that they were there..
And all you can do is wait..for the day that they will care..

Have you ever loved somebody so much..
It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad..
You can't sleep at night..

Have you ever tried to find the words..
but they don't..come out right??

Have you ever??..

What do I got to get you in my arms..
What do I got get to your heart..
To make you i need you next to me..
Got to get you in the world..
Cause baby..i cant sleep!!

Have you ever loved somebody so much..
It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad..
You can't sleep at night..

Have you ever tried to find the words..
but they don't..come out right??

Have you ever??..