Saturday, February 28, 2009

100 truths

001. Real name →Juan Margrita Gabriel..
002. Nickname(s)→ ju-on, pork, pig, margArita, jobabe...gabriel(some nuts like my dad's name)
003. Zodiac sign -> gemini
004. Male or female → female..
005. Elementary School → holy family kindergarten
006. Primary School → sk kajang utama, sk jalan bukit
007. High School → smk kajang utama..smk jalan bukit!!..(the best ever)
008. Hair color → originally black..now not sure..
009. Long or short → short..=(
010. Loud or Quiet → err..not sure..you tell me..
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans.!!!
012. Phone or Camera → camera phone!!...
013. Health freak → err..not really..but i wanna live long..and see my grandkids!!.=p
014. Drink or Smoke? → nope..
015. Do you have a crush on someone? →hahaha...who doesnt??!!
016. Eat or Drink → both!!
017. Piercings → hmmm... ears...three holes..2 close d..hehe
018. Tattoos.→nope..but would love to have one..

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane→ yup..
020. Been in a relationship→ ..ermm..maybe..
021. Been in a car accident → yeah...when i was 11...hehehe..just a small one
022. Been in a pilow fight → in facebook..=p

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → ears..when i was 1
024. First best friend → nithya...went to the same primary, secondary and college together!!..
025. First award → cutest baby ever born!!
026. First crush → err..is it him..or him..could be him...hehe not sure..tooo many..
028. First big vacation → kuching..sarawak..when i was 12

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → sister..
030. Last person you texted → annusha!! bout the vigil..
031. Last person you watched a DVD with → omg..i forgot..i cant believe!!..when was the last time i watched one??
032. Last food you ate→ this morning..some colourful rounded cake..
033. Last movie you watched alone → i dont even know when was the last i watched a movie!!
034. Last song you listened to → i will be..leona lewis
035. Last thing you bought → yesterday's bus ticket
036. Last person you hugged → err..ALMA!!!

FAVES:
037. Food → spaghetti!!
038. Drinks → erm..water??..oh wait..MARGARITA!!
039. Clothing → shorts and t's ...comfy!!
040. Flower → ROSES!!..
042. Colors → purple, pink, black!!
043. Movies → dont ask...please!!..im depressed..
044. Subjects →err..music!!

In 2008, I....

045. [x] kissed someone
046. [] celebrated Halloween
047. [] had your heart broken
048. [x] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone
049. [ x] someone questioned your sexual orientation
050. [ ] came out of the closet
051. [ ] gotten pregnant
052. [ ] had an abortion
053. [x] done something you've regretted
054. [x] broke a promise
055. [x] hid a secret
056. [x] pretended to be happy
057. [ x] met someone who changed your life
058. [x] pretended to be sick
059. [] left the country
060. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
061. [x] cried over the silliest thing
062. [] ran a mile
063. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
064. [x] got into an argument with your friends
065. [] hated someone
066. [x] stayed single the whole year..hahahaha..

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating →in a while
068. Drinking → saliva
069. I'm about to →go to klang!!!
070. Listening to → sempurna!!!!...the best..
071. Plans for today → youth overnight lenten vigil!!
072. Waiting for ->time to pass by..kinda slow..today
073. Want kids? →who wouldnt??
074. Want to get married? → the question is..who??..hehehe
075. Careers in mind → now..journalist..or maybe housewife..hehe..=p

WHICH IS BETTER WITH A GUY/GIRL?
076. Lips or eyes → eyes..it leads to the heart...
077. Shorter or taller?→ taller than me..
078. Romantic or spontaneous → both will be sweet...
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → arms..i guesss...=D
080. Sensitive or loud → laud..but sensitive to my feelings..hehe
081. Hook-up or relationship → RELATIONSHIP BABY!!!
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → trouble maker..hehe..naughty like me..=p

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts - glasses!!..14 yeas..during camp..it feel inside the river..=(
084. Snuck out of your house → hahaha..not yet..
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense → ..hahaha..havent yet!!
086. Killed somebody → ...y am i doin this again??
087. Broken someone's heart → sadly..yeah
088. Been arrested →by my mom..hehe
089. Cried when someone died →yeah...may her soul rest in peace..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → most of the times..
091. Miracles → yup!!
092. Love at first sight → nope!!
093. Heaven → yeahh...
094. Santa Claus → i believe in st nick..does that count?
095. Sex on the first date → NO WAY!!....
096. Kiss on the first date → nahh..too fast..hehe

TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yeah..a lot actually
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → ...sometimes..
099. Do you believe in God → yup..

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 12 people

nithya..is so screwed..for making me do this..but hey!!..im hungry d!!..hehe..take care

Thursday, February 26, 2009

a man..a woman..

gosh...is it just my computer..or is everyone facing the same problem??..FACEBOOK is really annoying..=(

anyway..guess what happen???...i bang the divider..AGAIN!!!...oh noo..how am i gonna tell my dad??...well..it was raining heavily..and i was 'unsilenting' my mobile..like pro la..one hand holding hand phone another the steering wheel..it was raining like really heavy..!!..too heavy..and BANG!!.. i heard the noise..i was like..oh crap!!!..NOT NOW..i wanted to cry..and i almost knocked the van..gosh..WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME??..i couldn't see anything..the rain was sooo heavy..the wiper aint doing any good..=( but it wasn't dented or anything..just the paint is scrapped off ..

anyway i know what my parents gonna say..it's either 'no more taking the car' or 'i told you to drive slowly' ..it's so predictable.. but do they know that by discouraging one they are actually diminishing the self-esteem in that person?? i mean as it is that person in a shock level..they are only making it worse..plus i didnt do it on purpose..and by not allowing me to take the car..i'm only getting worse..

hmm..if only i was a parent..i would say to my child..'thank God your alright..be more careful next time..or pray before you start driving..' seee...that sounds better right??..you telling your child..'it's ok to make mistake and learn from it' ..and the child on the other hand..doesn't want to disappoint her parents..and thus she'll be more careful...*sigh*..simply psychology..but anyway they should know better..kononya tasted salt earlier...=)

well anyway..i came across this song about men and women from my parents 'marriage encounter' book..and chill!!..i'm not getting married or anything..i was just looking through...is there any songs i know..and this was written brilliantly..kinda funny..
would u like to hear the men or the laddies one 1st??..erm..the men 1st k..we save THE BEST FOR THE LAST..hehehehe..=p

A MAN

A man is a creature we can't overlook
As easy to read as a page in the book
He'll brag and he'll boast of the women he spurned
But just like a door-knob his head can be turned!

As strong as an ox or as meek as a pup
He's just a small boy who'll never grow up
A leader by day he makes business hum
Then wind up at night under some woman's thumb! ...(lol)

Complains he's henpecked and treated so bad
But if he's ignored he hollers like mad!
He knows all the method of landing a fish
But still can't be trusted at drying a dish!!

A man..any woman will say..
whatever he is..we like him that way..

A WOMAN

A woman is something both evil and good
But too complicated to be understood
An angel when loving, a devil when mad
A woman can make you both happy and sad!

Afraid of cockroach, she'll scream at a mouse
But she'll tackle her husband as big as a house!
She'll take him for better, she'll take him for worse
She'll bust his head open and the be his nurse!!..(hehe)

She's bashful deceitful, keen-sighted and blind
Simple and crafty, cruel and kind
In the morning she will, in the evening she won't
You're always at thinking she will, but SHE WON'T!!..

A woman..what can she be?
Whatever she is, she's necessary!

hehehe...what you think??..cool right??
so smart these people..

anyway..i saw this joke..about how important punctuation is..
and a sentence was giving to both man and woman..for them to punctuate..and see how it turns out..

the sentence is..
A woman without her man is nothing..

the man used punctuation and the sentence came out like this..
A woman, without her man, is nothing..

then it was given to the woman..of cause she brilliantly came up with this..
A woman: Without her, man is nothing..

hehehe...basically they were trying to say that punctuation is very important and stuff..

anyway..both species are nothing..without each other..!!
take care!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

ash wednesday

wow its over!!..yippppeeeeeeeeee
but I'm having massive head ache....
the possible reasons:
a) migraine..which is impossible..the sun hardly came out..
b) brain tumor...maybe..=p
c) lack of sleep...should be the reason..but i thought i had enough..=(

anyway..i think i should become a fortune teller...cause my schedule yesterday..turned out perfectly!!..
and guess what??..i just heard the word Allah can be used!!!...AMEN to that!!..
miracles he worked..victory he triumphed!!..Alleluia!!
woooohoooo...a nice ending for my so-called perfect day!!

my exams...
public speaking...was oklar!!...
accounts!!!...oh nooo..i don't even wanna think about it...*SWEAT*
got 3 questions..i manage to answer 2 of it..but the income statement..was ripping my brains out!!
i don't know where did i go wrong..why can't i balance it??..17 marks..*HEARTBROKEN*
And it's only mid term....!!..gonelar..
but i finally got back my touch..for exams..
as you know..i was lifeless..for 365 days...
i tasted the delicate texture of exam..and nope it aint sweet..ITS BITTER!!..but once it's done..
the desert is awesome...!! *smiles* ...ok..I'm crapping something here..

ASHES...i don't know why i like the way it sounds..but ash Wednesday is always portrait as a sad and solemn day..the hymn 'Jesus keep me near the cross' ..will be sung..and Hosea..but i like this song..it's so meaningful..if sung in a proper manner..
The song 'ashes' is one my favorite as well..only sung once a year..but its amazing..
'we rise again from ashes..from the good we fail to do' ..
it means..reconcile..where one is turning away from sin..and going back home to God..
i think that's a miracle..but then..like i said..it's always portrait as a sorrowful day..
no flowers in the altar..all curtains in purple..so bare..so sad..

Then the malay choir group..which i though had extinct from HFC..suddenly reappeared..
not bad..the song they sang..but guess what??..
there's this freaking absolutely breathlessly speechlessly cute guy..right in front of me...
damm..i only had the side look of him..his hair was sooo cute..and his eye lash..like a gal..lol
awwwhhhh...but obviously..he didn't even notice me..it's always like that..=(
now you see..and there it goes..!!

the good thing about being single...YOU GET TO CHECK OUT AS MANY CUTE GUYS AS YOU WANT..AND NOT BE ANSWERABLE TO ANYONE..yeah..and NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT TOO!!..



klar...mom nagging d..have to go and sleep..and get of this headache!!
nitez
HEHEHEHE...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Booked

tomorrow is going to be a long day...I know i can't possibly blog..I'm not even suppose to blog today..but I'm waiting for the water to boil..and also for the rice to cook..so why waste time right?? hehe =p

anyway...here's my schedule for tomorrow..

5.30 a.m~of the bed..
6.20a.m~ in the train..wouldn't have place to sit..
6.50 a.m~reach sentral..revise public speaking in mcd
7.30a.m~get in putra lrt..won't have place to sit either..=(
7.45a.m~reach asia jaya..wait for T629 rapid kl bus
8.00a.m~reach UTAR..go to UTARICT or reading room and sleep..
9.00a.m ~Computer studies lecture
11.00a.m~study account
11.30a.m~economics tutorial
12.30p.m~continue accounts
1.00p.m~ computer studies practical
2.00p.m~prepare for public speaking
2.30p.m ~public speaking mid term exam
3.30p.m~prepare for accounts
3.45p.m~accounts exam
5.15p.m~go back home and get ready for ash Wednesday mass
8.00p.m~ash Wednesday mass
9.30p.m~mass ends also dinner
10.00p.m~a time for my self..

well..so basically I'm booked from head to toe tomorrow..and surely going to screw up my accounts paper..=(

anyway..the waters boiling!!...and i need to S-T-U-D-Y...=) thanks for listening..means a lot to me..=D

take care

Monday, February 23, 2009

Angels..

seems to me it has been ages since i last blogged..ok that is a bit too much..it has only been 2 days!!..thanks to my beloved sis..she has been working on her 'breastfeeding' presentation and was using the computer for the whole 2 days...last minute as usual..well it runs in the family..

anyway..it has been another unexpected day today.. i went back to being 8 years old..hehehe
thanks to LI WENG!! ..it was during English tutorial..where we were suppose to present our essay outline in the 'mahjong' paper..yeah tell me bout it!!..who in the world uses 'mahjong' paper still? well..if it wasn't for the 'mahjong' paper it would have been a boring tutorial lesson..as always..

I was listening attentively in class..as usual..hehe =p..suddenly 'bang'...someone knocked my head..i turned back..and the whole group was laughing..LI WENG HIT ME WITH THE MAHJONG PAPER!!! ...lol..well of cause..me being myself..not a chance I'm going to give in..and since i didn't want to spoil my group work for we have not presented yet..i tore a rough paper..and threw right back at her..and then the whole TB1 was playing with the mahjong paper..banging each..ok not the whole..only some..the 'childish' ones..

well, you may call us childish..but when will the time come again for us to behave like this?? after marriage and having kids??..or when you don't have any teeth and all your hair has turned grey?? I had the chance today..and I'm grateful that i took it..for I laughed again..hehehe
I know, you're thinking 'the weird girl'..here she goes again..talking nonsense..hehehe..
sorry..i can't help it but be who i am..it's either you take it or you leave it..I aint changing for no one..

before i end..i received a message today..from someone special in facebook..
I'm not sure whether he will be reading this or not..but I'm pretty sure he is..

I just wanna say,
I thank God that I met you in this life..
I must be doing something right..
for He keeps on sending me angels after angels..

I'm sorry I can't be the person you want me to be..
and I'm truly sorry that you have to go through all this..

But
I have found the true meaning of friendship..
There's nothing more I ask of you..
I hope we can be friends forever..

God bless you!!

p/s your future girlfriend must be really blessed to have you in her life..

Friday, February 20, 2009

Whatever will be..will be

ohhhhhhhhh noooooooo...
i cant believe this!!!
another one???...
*knocks head*!!!...
why did i agree??....*learn how to say 'NO' ..girl*

anyway today during Computer Studies class..Ms low suddenly started talking about wedding..it was suppose to be about the chapter on System Unit..yeah..two totally different topics..
she was asking ..'is there any girl here who never dreamt of wearing the wedding gown and taking pre-wedding pictures??' ..actually none of us got..what was she talking about..she put it in a all-so-complex sentence..but later we understood..

She said..'you only get married ONCE!!...this is your chance to actually be in a gown..and that also the gown sure rented!!..yala..why wanna buy something that you're gonna where once in your life..? i was like imagining...ME??...WEDDING????...GOWN??..PICS??...yeah!!!!..heheheh
then i was like WHAT????!!! ..I'm on 19...NINETEEN!!! ..N-I-N-E-T-E-E-N!!!! ...wait..I'm not even 19 yet...still 18!!!...EIGHTEEN!!..oh crap!!!..what in the world am i trying to prove...??

well anyway..12 years ago..i was 7 years old..i mean if I'm 19 this year..or else it will be 11 years ago..ok ok..i'll cut it out about my age alright..!! We were in the choir singing this song called 'que sera sera' ...i was wearing shevonne's red and black and white dress..with a big bow at the back..ohh..yeah..*i looked ADORABLE!!*..hehe sorry am in my 'perasaning mood' as usual..
anyway..do you the disadvantages of being the second or the last kid??...you get all second-hand stuffs!!! ..every thing is passed down from my sister to me.. from my shoes..right up to my mittens..and also my NAPKIN!!..all SECOND-HAND!!..even my first holy communion dress..was not new..it was my sis..but we had to alter it of cause..as you can see..i was an ADORABLY GORGEOUS over sized little girl..hehehe..i made sure for confirmation..i had a new one!!..already have my freedom of speech..have to use it to the maxx!!!..=p

anyway back to 'que sera sera' ..i was in std 1...and i got 1st place!!..hehe..yeah..pure LUCK!!..i do not belive in luck..but my luck stands for 'Labour under correct knowledge'..hehe..that's my LUCK!!.. and my mom bought me this..baby all gone.. you know the baby doll..which was famous for her milk bottle..and the cherry..?? i was so excited!!..SUPER DUPER EXCITED!! i never left the doll anywhere but by my side.. with her blond hair...and blue eyes..
hehe..i feed her like everyday...with her stroller..i used to bring her walking...lolz...sorry..don't know why am i so hyper today!!!

I still haven't started my que sera sera story..there's no any story...just that the song it self..

When i was just a little girl..
I ask my mother..'what will i be?'
will i be pretty..??..will i be rich??
here's what she said to me..

Que sera sera..whatever will be..will be..
the future's not ours to see..
Que sera sera..
what will be will be..

then she grew and asked her lover..
then she had kids..and her kids asked..
and everybody gave the same answer..

whatever will be..will be..
the future's not ours to see..

the future's not ours to see..i do not know if I'm getting married..i do not know if i can feed a real baby...i do not know whether he will be mine or not..i do not know if i can get that scholarship..i do not know if i can go shopping this Christmas..i do not what's gonna happen tomorrow...but i know one thing..WHATEVER WILL BE..WILL BE..

if it was meant to be..it will happen..even though you have to walk through heaven and hell..IT WILL HAPPEN!!..so just hang in there!!..for something will happen if you only you believe and have unending faith in HIM!!..

BYE BYE

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag as many friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
~heart without a home~ by westlife...awwwhhh..yeah..i guess

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
~gallery~ by mario vasquez....???..doesn't really make sense but..maybe 'priceless work of art' ..hehe

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
~just let me say~ by hillsong...erm hahaha...

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
~i live for you~by hillsong..YEAH!!!..i so do..

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
~me and you~ by kenny chesny ...awwhh..well now that's a good answer..=)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
~I'M YOURS!!~ by planet shakers...my fav!!..

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
~close~ by westlife....yeahhhhhhhh...true i'am reallllyy close to them..

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
~bagaikan puteri(gol & gincu)~ by zarina...hahaha...nahh..i aint no princess..

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
~tonight~ by westlife...awwwh..romantic song..wonder whats gonna happen tonight..hehe

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
~better in time~ by leona lewis..well..they are already best in the way they are..

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
~reason i live~ by planet shakers...hahahaha awesome song for my life!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
~when your looking like that~ by westlife...?????? how do i look like when im all grown??

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
~wish i never met you~ by trina hhahahahahahah...this is fun!!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
~i lay my love on you~ by westlife...awwhh..yes!!I DO!! but.. but...it's not slow..can't really dance..=(

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
~tell me why~BSB...err??...why am i dead so fast??...=(

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
~mamma mia~ by ABBA...wooohooo...yeah!! but what exactly is my hobby??

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
~beat of my heart~ by hillary duff.....HAHAHA...yeah!! what if it stopped??

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
~Right Now (na na na)~ by akon ...ermm..dont ask me..i dont know..

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
~so in love with you~ by planet shakers...hahhahhahahhha...gosh..!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
~superwoman~ by alicia keys...lol guess that includes the guys huh??

WHAT WILL BE YOUR DREAM TONIGHT?
~my love don't cost a thing~ by jennifer lopez.....BUT IT DOES!!..reallly

WHAT'S HAPPENING TOMOROW:
~touching heaven changing earth~ by hillsong...GOSHH..

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT LOVE?
~no air~ by jordin sparks and chris brown..hahahaha ...yeah..no better answer

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
~bye bye~ by mariah careh.....huh??...grrrr...im not going anywhere..=(

Thursday, February 19, 2009

What a life..

Is there any possibility that I can disown my sister??...LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!! ..of all the sisters..why she??? ...and me??.. NO!!! ...she's has gotten into my last nerve!!..and yeah it cracked..and you don't wanna know what happen..it was my fault i admit..but she bloody hell triggered it..but still i should have had more control of my anger... then again no human would have tolerated that..SERIOUSLY!! no more comments..and I'm not in a mood to talk about it either..

This is the part i wish i was never born in this family!!...at least not with her!!!.. and I hate myself for this...as it is I have tonnes of assignments left, exam on the way..i so do not need another reason to hate this so-called life I'm having..

Verse 1
A broken heart..
I come to you..
A wounded soul..
I turn to you..

Hoping you will carry me again..
across the heaven so high..
On your wings, dear Lord
I want to soar..

Chorus 1
Take me away
Where I can be with you..
For in this place
I do not belong..

Verse 2
With tearful eyes
I cry to you
With all my strength
I run to you

For this is where you placed me..
What's best you give me..
There must have something
That i've missed..

Chorus 2
Take me Home..
Where I know you're there
This is the place
Forever I'd dwell..

Bridge
On you promises i rest
Like an eagle I'll rise
Where ever you are..
There I am..

now if only i had the perfect tune..to match it..

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You are not a perfect man..and i am not a perfect woman..

have you ever felt sooooooo erm..*whats that word*..i don't know what is it in English..but in Malay it's called..GERAM!!!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh..wish you could just strangle that person..and get the truth!!..or Knock their head till they get it!!..or just throw them away to a land far far away..where one doesn't bother about another's feeling...cause that's where they belong!! GRRRRRRR!! or even better that person should just trade places with me..yeah..TRADE PLACES!!..

ever heard of the song..if i were a boy??..by beyonce knowles
the moment i heard this song..i was like..'wow not bad' ..
her voice is just amazing..and of course what's a song without the words..
especially the chorus part.. it was written brilliantly by jay-z if i'm not mistaken..

if i were a boy..
i think i could understand..

how it feels to love a girl..
i'd swear i'd be a better man..


i'd listen to her..
cause i know how it feels..

WHEN YOU LOOSE THE ONE YOU WANTED..
CAUSE YOUR TAKING HER FOR GRANTED!!


hehe..cool right..
to all the so-called guys out there..
alright!!..i'll stop discriminating..though it feels really good!!

anyway..and then jay-z wrote the second version..
where in this part the guy answered the girl superbly..
and R.KELLY sang it..
gosh..his voice is really sexy..hehehe...and all his songs are awesome!!

after that the song..was the bomb!!
it burst out the nerve in me..
and got me to think...
that maybe guys are not that bad after all..
that also only a handful..i guess

so i go to the club with the guys..
sometimes flirt with the girls..
i should be able to roll out..
as long as i'm coming home to you..
and give you the world..

and you know whats the best part of this song..
at then end..
the guy apologizes..
i think that's the way it should be..
i mean..not that the guy have to apologize..in order for the girl to win..
the point is.. no matter how much you argue..or fight..with the one you love..
the word 'sorry' is all that takes..to get back together..
of cause..it should come from deep within..

You are not a perfect man..
and i am not perfect woman..

Monday, February 16, 2009

Drugs @ Oprah Winfrey's Show

I'm dead tired!!!..would love to tell you about my day..but my muscles are wearing..my strength is decreasing..my eyesight is deteriorating..my back is aching!!..gosh!!I sound like I'm gonna die..don't i??
anyway I probably will..in a day or two..

I want to share with you this show i watched on Oprah today..i was actually watching it for our TALK SHOW ASSIGNMENT!!..
anyway..this family of 5, their parents, and 2 teenage boys..and a baby.. all 4 except the baby..are heroin addicts.. yeah..i know..WHY?? HOW??..WHAT'S NEXT??

It all started from the father..he was actually taking some pain killers prescribed by a doctor..and soon he became addicted to it..but since he couldn't afford to buy it..so he switched to heroin..which is much cheaper and stronger..and soon the wife got addicted..
their sons too as they watched the elders do..

so everyday this couple will take a 4 hours drive..to get their drugs..with their 5 month old baby at the back seat..They sold everything they own..properties,furniture..etc..just for their drugs..
According to the parents...to do not encourage their sons to take drugs..which means..they are not the financial source for the boys' drugs..so therefore..where do these boys get the money for these drugs??..they steal..

when asked, 'Is this the life you dreamt of, for you family?' Like a sword piercing his heart..the father said No.. They used to have everything..A HAPPY FAMILY..but not they have become slaves for drugs..it is no longer they who control their lives..but the drug.. Other families watch TV or have meal together..but this family..inject heroin together..

You may ask 'why don't they just stop taking drugs' ..your intention maybe good which is to save them..and their sons..a better future..You sympathize with them..
The problem here is.. i think sympathy is not what they are asking for..but EMPATHY..
the mistake they did was taking drugs for the first time..and after that..they have totally no control of it..if they don't take it..they will fall sick..they will begin to tremble and shiver.. with saliva falling down..they wouldn't look like a normal human being..
the only reason why there are hooked up with heroin..is to LOOK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING and feel like one..no matter how many times they try to stop..they just can't..it's already there in the system..

It's not that I'm supporting them by saying that it is good to take drugs..but put yourself in their shoes.. they are purely human..like you and me.. and since the definition of human is sin.. we can't pretend that we are saints..temptation will be there.. once you're triggered to do something..you will do it..unless you are able to hear God's voice within you..

But it goes against they way i am..
to put my human nature down..
and let the spirit take control of all i do..
Cause when those trials come..
My human nature shouts the things to do..
And God's soft prompting can be easily IGNORED!

the last 2 lines..sound real huh??..Cause it is.. we are nobody to judge these people.. you know what the father of this drug addict family said at the end ..'Please don't look at us like we're bad..We did not mean for any of this to happen..if there is anything we can do to stop it..we will' ..
I don't know if he meant these things he said..but if he did..i think he is so much better than others who pretend to do good..to be good..but when they take out their masks..we can't even bare to look at them..for it's too hideous..too painful..even your eyes can't take it..

Oprah..confronted some of the rehabilitation center that are willing to take them..and they are given 24 hours..to decide whether to take that offer or not..
well, i respect Oprah for the person she is..for the things she did..and for the lives she changed..
An incredible woman she is..!!

anyway..just don't do drugs..don't even try it.. The hands that made you are so precious..which makes your body and life..precious as well.. Don't destroy your life..you are worth much more than all this..God bless!!

P/S WHEN TEMPTATION KNOCKS..LET JESUS ANSWER!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Lim's farewell

i wanted to post this last night..but was extremely tired..you will know why..soon
anyway here's my story..

i woke up at around 9a.m. and rushed to church for choir practice..and this time i was happy..for once i aint the last to arrive!!..but i was 10 mins late also..colin,chris and rozanne was there..and also the flower arrangement comittee..the other 4 (daniel,christopher,kavena and marcus) was not there yet..

after like about 45 mins Marcus arrived..and it was pretty obvious the other 3 wasn't coming..i was like..'for the first time i'm early..and there're not here??..grrrrr!! and then charlotte, joanne, and michelle tagged along..so end up we couldn't practice..just played praise and worship songs..and talking crap..then we went to SP for our usual drink..

around 2pm all had to leave..cause they had to attend audrey's wedding..and me...well i decided to have a hair cut..because..i'm having SPLITED ENDS!!!..AAAHHHHHHHHHHH ..whats the big deal??..it means my hair is not healthy..well, serves me right..to pollute it with all those coloured chemicals..I MISS MY BLACK THICK HAIR!!! ..that's it..no more poison for my hair..!!=(

I went back home at 3p.m ..and remembered Freddie said there was a wedding at 4..well practically we get invited to all weddings in HFC..if its in english..hehe..give our voices for their tying of knot.. so took a quick shower..and drove to church..when i arrived..all were still waiting for the bride..i only saw fred and abigail..i was like..'thank god i came'..fred played the organ..
and then..my sis (after her date) ..and ashley and flora came..yay!!!...more people..

so yeah..after wedding mass..went back home and have to get ready for sunset mass..hmmmm...
after mass..rina's mom sent us to metro point..that's where lim's farewell was held..

Lim was one of my closest friend..
Drives me crazy with every chance he gets..
Pulls my hair..and handprint my lab coat..during chemistry..
Throws paper from behind..(he seats at the back of the class..i'm right infront)
He thought me how to flirt..
The smartest in my school..
An excellent badminton player..(i was the usherer..hehe..we wanted to skip class and also collect certificates..) ..
A runner..both long distance and short..(during cross country..his group was the last to be released..and still he overtook me..and hellloo..i do run..=p)
Played baskelball and volleyball..together..once..
My one year accounts class partner..both he and helena..but at the end..neither of us took the paper for spm..
He tricked me with the crush calculator..and found out my CRUSH!!!...(i was sure of transferring school then)..
Took chemistry tuition with his mom!!..She's awesome..unlike him..hehe..=p
He will be kidnapping me on my wedding day (if it ever happen)..
Sat next to me..during SPM!!..hehe..
He's going to University of Adelaide, Australia..to continue his studies..
His girlfriend is Rina...our classmate..
I'm gonna miss him!!



did i mention he makes fun of my height?


i forced them to take this pic..they ended up calling me 'paparazzi'..


the lady wanted to charge us 5 bucks per snap..



new haircut..=)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentines Day..!!

woooohooooooo...It's Valentine's!! yippeeeee...
hehehehe..i don't why am i so happy..
Not that i have a date after all...well i actually i do..i didn't give him an answer yet..

anyway..have anyone ever thought..what exactly is love??..how do you know that whatever you're feeling is LOVE??

I received this forwarded message from a close friend..well he wanted to make sure i was making the right decision..
anyway it sounded like this..

What is love??
If it's because of ones eyes, lips or body..
then it's not love..it's LUST..
If it's because of ones intelligence or insights about life..
then it's not love..it's ADMIRATION..
If it's because of crying every time that person leaves..
it's not love..it's PITY..
If it's because He/she makes you forget to eat or sleep..
again it's not Love..it's INFATUATION
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SEEM TO BE SO ATTRACTED TO THAT PERSON..
THEN IT'S LOVE..=)

How do you know you're in love??..well...YOU JUST DO!!!!...
it's like experiencing heaven on earth..
No words can describe it..
No feeling is too much..
Though he or she is far away..or right beside you..
it's still the same..
They never left your mind..
and when you think of the words he or she said..
you tend to smile..without even realizing it!!
Every song you listen to..every story you read..
It's all about THEM!!..
amazing isn't it??..
well..true love has true flavours..
the best thing about love..is that..if it's real..it came from GOD!
a word of advice..take your time..in finding you're soul mate!!

am i in love??...hahahahhaha..a million dollar question..!! =p

anyway here are some awesome love quotes..
  • for it was not into my ears that you whispered, but into my heart..it was not my lips that kissed..but my soul..
  • if you love somebody, let them go, if they return they were always yours..if they don't they were never..
  • Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning..
  • Every man is afraid of something..that's how you know he's in love with you;when he's afraid of losing you
  • You can close your eyes..to the things you do not want to see..but you can never close your heart to the things you do not want to feel..
  • Love is not blind..it simply enables one to see things others fail to see..
  • It is better to loose your pride to someone you love rather than to loose that someone you love to youR pride..!!

This two quotes are my favourite..

Find a guy who calls you beautiful..instead of HOT..
who calls you back..when you hung up on him..
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat..
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep..
wait for the one..who kisses your forehead..
who wants to show you off to the world..in your sweats!
who holds you hand in front of his friends..
who thinks..you are just as pretty..even without make up on..
The one who turns to his friends and say..'THAT'S HER!!'..

nowadays it's impossible to find these kinda guys..well..if you have him in your arms..just don't let him go..and do tell me where you found him..=p

Love is..
knowing all about someone..and still want to be with them..more than any other..
trusting them enough to tell them everything about your self..
including the things..you might be ashamed of..
feeling comfortable and safe with that someone..
but still get weak knees..and butterflies in your stomach including goosebumps..
when they walk in that room..and smile at you..

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Feb 11-Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes (World day of the Sick)


Ever heard the name Bernadette?? ..Well my 4 year old cousins name is BERNADETTE GITUEN BATUNCANG..she is a Sabahan mix..anyway I'm not going to talk about her..though I'm missing her terribly..!!

If there was a place i want to visit before my last breath..it will be Lourdes...
Bernadette was a sickly girl who lives in Lourdes..One day, she saw a Lady dress in white robes, white blue belt..together with a white veil and blue roses..with a rosary in her hands.. She said..'I am the Immaculate Conception'
This place where this beautiful Lady appeared, is where the fountain starts flowing..yeah the fountain that healed many and miracles after miracles took place..well..she is known as OUR LADY OF LOURDES..

I attended mass today..and Fr William's sermon was all about HER..an amazing story it was.. actually it was more than just a story..
After that was anointing of the sick..two whole rows was reserved just for the sick, the crippled and even the blind..from every corner of Kajang..they came not only to experience but also to witness the GLORY OF GOD.. I watched from afar.. (not very far just from the choir side) ..and as I was watching, something was beginning to sting my eyes..I'm sure it wasn't my contact lenses..I felt goosebumps all over my hands..I shivered a little..There was something stuck in my throat as the song 'SPIRIT OF GOD' was sung..I knew a miracle was taking place at that moment..

When it came to the song 'ABOVE ALL'..God..it was AWESOME!! ..the part where..
'LIKE A ROSE..TRAMPLED ON THE GROUND..YOU TOOK THE FALL..AND THOUGHT OF ME..!!'
I don't know why..everytime i see a rose with it's broken petals..it's just so sad..
How beautiful the name 'ROSE' is..
even beautiful the flower it carries..
To see it on the ground all broken..is unbearable!!
The good thing about a rose..is that the stem comes with thorns..
Protecting it from predators..from intruders..
Jesus was crowned with torns..
It makes sense doesn't it??..
JESUS IS THE ROSE..CROWNED WITH THORNS..
so tender, fragile HE is..beautiful just like A ROSE..
but here it's a little bit different..the thorns were not meant for protection but as an ASSURANCE!!..that HE should fall to the ground..and trample..broken...for us..SINNERS!!



well..fr William mentioned this too..
FOR ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD, NO EXPLANATION IS NECESSARY..
FOR ALL THOSE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOD, NO EXPLANATION IS POSSIBLE!!

take care..God bless!!
Happy feast Day!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Arts=My death sentence!!

Did I mention before that i hate artS?? Because I REALLLYYYY DOOOO!!!.. I can't draw at all..
Contour drawing..(the name also like wanna throw up only)..was what we did today..

The first task is you have to look at your own hands and draw it..within 1 minute!!..I can't even write that fast!!..Mine turn out like a witch's hand..with pointed edges..

The second task is continuous contour drawing..where you can't lift you technical ink pen from you paper..and do you know what is the best part..YOU HAVE TO DRAW YOUR OWN FACE!!!..and yeah..i officially modified my gorgeous, lovely face..=p into some old fat lady..with wrinkles... Well, the good thing..no one knows it's me..hehehe...oh yeah..and that has to be done in freaking 3 minutes!!!

The third task is blind continuous contour drawing..where you can't lift your eyes from the object your drawing.. which means..your NOT ALLOWED to LOOK AT THE SKETCH!!.. Li weng volunteered her shoes as a model..so yeah..is wasn't that bad.. just that i drew the sole of the shoe smaller..which makes it look like some weird roller-blade..and the time given is also 3 minutes..grrrr

The fourth one....is gesture drawing..where you have a human model in front doing many kinda gestures..and you have to draw from top to toe..for 3 minutes!! and..we have to have 6 models!!..

so the first model..was seenu...with a pose..kinda funny cause i changed his face.(sorry!!)
the second one was lik joe..in his sitting pose..it was oklar!!..
the third..we have a lady..Landy!!...she was practically laughing for the whole 3 minutes..
the fourth was Jerry..together with his cigar..kinda cool..
and the fifth..wanna take a wild guess who??...HEHEHEHE yeah me!!!..I don't know whylar..every lecturer seems to remember my name so well..and the best part..i had to pose with my back at the crowd...well, i didn't mind la..i know I'm hawwwtt!!!...perhaps i should have just joined AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!! ...hehehehe..yeah i know..that's a bit too much..(kidding)...
and the sixth...is Li weng again..she was doing some bending down pose..hehe
well since i had only 5 models..so i politely asked pek to pose for me..her's was the hardest la..she was sitting down and both her hands and legs..were in action..

Then it was public speaking class...this time i was extremely excited..cause i wasn't the one speaking.. there were another 8 of them..I enjoyed linus talk about 'the essence of a good movie' , Mellissa's..'how to choose a life partner', Pek's speech badminton speech, Chester's 'Texas Holdem' Poker' Jasmine's Hong Kong Speech, Gary's Malacca speech...absolutely brilliant!!..
Practically i enjoyed everything...cause i know how much of effort they put in..and also the guts they grew just to go up there and talk for freaking 5 minutes!!

anyway guess that's it for today!!..tune in tomorrow for more!!..heehehe..(some big time oprah winfrey show going on) xD

Monday, February 9, 2009

Unanswered questions..

I do not understand it at all..!! ARGHHH

why you being so cruel?
who you think you are?
Just to come in to my life..
steal my heart..
Then leave me here to bleed..
What exactly do have in your mind?

How do you take it so easily?
Not a minute i can go..
without thinking of you..
I can't sleep at night..
You do not want to leave my mind..
Neither do you want to let me go..
In fact, you keep me coming back for more..

I hate you soooo much!!
I wish i never met you..
My life would have definitely
Been much easier..
Perhaps I should just let you go..

But I know i can't..
Not now..not ever..
It's too late..
It's too much..

You walked into my life..
Invisibly..
I couldn't see you..
Then you dried my tears..
I finally found you..
All the impossible i wanna do..

Why do I always expect the unexpected?
What in the world..
Got me to think..
That you're there waiting for me..
or that I'm the reason for your smiles..
or even get the crazy idea..
that you're actually wasting your time..
Thinking of me..

Maybe I should just let you go..=(

hehehe..i know..
i should get a life huh??..=p

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Life~a drama..

I'm feeling really guilty...2 days holiday..and i didn't even open my book!!..*sigh*

Thing's i should be doing:
  1. Study and try to get that scholarship
  2. Clean my table
  3. Rearrange my closet
  4. Finish my assignments
  5. Call jacynta and crytal
  6. Organize farewell party for Lim..before the 16th
  7. Check my mails
  8. Get a life
  9. Stop dreaming
  10. Finish all the 9 tasks above
Where do i start?? I'm here blogging..'Chill la..tomorrow's a holiday right, can do it then..' and when tomorrow comes..'there's still a lot more of time left, don't bother' ..and then it is postponed again..till like the eleventh hour.. the mountain full of assignments to be passed up.. Revisions for all the subjects.. AAAAAHHHHH ..get up JUAN!!!...you have to start now!!.. don't screw it up like you did in your SPM!!.. YOu know there's still some brain left, waiting for you to use it..in that tiny little head of yours!! ...it's either NOW OR NEVER!!

anyway..i was suppose to go out with someone tomorrow..but of course the plans are always rearranged.. it's not the first time and i don't think it's the last either.. Perhaps, God wants me to finish all those task..before i waste some time on myself.. I don't know what He wants or even trying to say..I don't even know what i want!!!..yeah i know what your thinking.. 'WHAT A SAD GIRL.. THANK GOD I'M NOT IN HER PLACE'.. and i thank God your not either..because you can't possibly play this part..better than i do..

I think this whole life is a drama...the script was written by God Himself..we are indeed His chosen actors and actresses.. He knows what our gifts are..that's why He positioned us in such situations.. He knows where we fit in.. He knows who we get along with.. But well, there is always a BUT!.. someone..you know the 'evil' one.. hates the play..he doesn't like the story line..he doesn't even like the director himself.. so, he broke up the group..took his so called friends with him..and made his own script..where there is full of selfishness, pride, jealousy,hipocrisy,arrongance,disloyalty,lust,greed...a drama full of nothing but TOTAL LIE!!

We, the so-called actors and actresses..are torn between this too.. Well..the second script written by the evil one himself..is willing to pay us large sum of momentary ENJOYMENT, HAPPINESS...there's nothing difficult in the script..it's very direct..where all you have to do is enjoy.. all you act is about TAKING, RECEIVING and SURVIVING!! you know..ME, MYSELF & I!! it's all about you..~NO WORRIES~

The first script..is full of challenges, sufferings, love, care, kindness, trials, tribulations..you do not survive..but you OVERCOME ..you give, you share, you respect one another.. and do you know WHAT THE DIRECTOR is offering?? if your thinking..Money?? nahh..you think the prize is that cheap?? try again..HAPPINESS??..well,define the meaning of 'happy'..every time when one tries to be happy..or even had the chance to be Happy..something gets along the way doesn't it..?? after all that you went through in script..there's has to be something more than that..something that is everlasting..something satisfying..something that is worth it..

well, my dear friends..the reward is SALVATION!! ..He is offering us an EVERLASTING LIFE!!..where you don't have to act anymore..you do not thirst nor hunger..The fullness of his Love is simply enough..CONTENTMENT GUARANTEED!! and the most important thing..you get to be with HIM..yeah the director HIMSELF..forever..

The problem with this world..is that they prefer to take the easy way out..the shortcut.. to be happy.. but what's the point??..the happiness is only momentary.. better don't have it all..right?? and after that..you have to suffer..how is it??..well i don't wanna find out..cause i do not intend to play in the second script..

It's hard i know..but one thing is for sure..I'm not in this alone..
Take care and have a good day!!..God bless..

Songs

well i haven't been through anything interesting these days...actually i have.. but it's not really necessary hehehe...okey, I'll give you a clue..(I'm having butterflies in my stomach)=P

anyway..ever wondered how on earth the composers come up with such brilliant lyrics??.. and every time you hear those words...you'll go like.. WOW..IT'S SO TRUE!!..be it a praise and worship song..or a love song..they are simply beautiful.. i really wish..that i can one day come up with such words..=(

Here are the list of song..that touched me..

Praise and Worship:
  1. I choose to worship
  2. Complete
  3. Who am I
  4. I'm yours
  5. Reason that I live
  6. Why
  7. Be magnified
  8. Take me deeper
  9. Renew me
  10. The potter's hand
  11. Breathe
  12. You are mine
  13. Mighty to save
  14. Majesty (here I am)
  15. Use me
Love songs
  1. From this moment
  2. Sempurna
  3. Breathless
  4. Superhuman
  5. This I promise you
  6. At the beginning
  7. Unbelievable
  8. If you're not the one
  9. Crush
  10. If i were a boy(remix)
  11. I can love you like that
  12. You say it best when you say nothing at all
  13. It's all coming back to me
  14. Hero (enrique)
  15. Heaven
and all westlife songs..hehe

well..ok then..gtg!!
take care and have a nice day!!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Don't give up

I was reading my mail..and came across this amazing story.....                                                       

One day I decided to quit...
quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ... I wanted to quit my !!
life
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

'God', I asked, 'Can you give me one good reason not to quit?'
His answer surprised me...

'Look around', He said. 'Do you see the fern and the bamboo?'

'Yes', I replied.

'When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of
them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the
bamboo.

He said.

'In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
I would
not quit.'

'Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..
But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and
gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.'

He asked me. 'Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been
struggling,you have actually been growing roots'.


'I would not quit on the bamboo.

I will never quit on you.'

'Don't compare yourself to others.'

He said.
'The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful.'

'Your time will come', God said to me.

'You will rise high'

'How high should I rise?' I asked.

'How high will the bamboo rise?' He asked in return.

'As high as it can?' I questioned.

'Yes.' He said, 'Give me glory by rising as high as you can.'

I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that
God will never give up on you.

Never, Never, Never Give up.
For this Prayer is not an opt ion but an opportunity.

Don't tell God how big the problem is,

tell the problem how Great God is!


I may not be the most important person in your life
But i just hope that one day when you hear my name you would smile and say..

hey! That's my friend

Thursday, February 5, 2009

the journey continues..

this morning..when i arrived in college.. Faye asked me, ' are you going out for a date?'..I was like 'SHOOTSS!!..i look that dressed up??..in my heart i was thinking..'i wish i was going on out for date!' ..oh wait.. i do have one..next week!!..lolz

anyway after econs class...a few of us decided to go to Mcd or pizza...since we had 2 hours break.. The next thing i know..it was my whole class (TB1) ..almost everyone..and a few from TB2 .. was going as well.. 4 cars were on the road like a train... mel,pek,faye and me..in one car.. and we were the last.. well don't blame us..the were so many cars on the road..so li weng (the one guiding the way) ..had to stop once in a while to make sure none of us..got lost.. and when she stops.. the rest of the 3 cars have to stop as well.. it was hilarious.. all of us like 'jakun' only..hehe..

after that we went to Mcd..which brought so many memories back.. well when i was still schooling, Kajang Mcd was like the 'hawtest' place in town..almost everyone from Mr Phun's tuition hangs out there..practically everyone goes to his tuition.. wow!! it was simply amazing..!! the fun we had was totally irreplaceable.. and not mentioning the cute guys we were checking out... of cause they were checking us out too..=p

we ordered the breakfast set..and practically occupied the whole 2nd floor of mcd..there was a weird lady sitting in one of the corners...with a big bag..she looked like a foreigner.. and then we whacked our food..though i hated the MELTED CHEESE in my burger.. eeehhhwww.. i had no choice but to force it down my throat!! and then we started talking and talking...wow i felt so close, like i've known them for years...and i actually found out that 2 of my classmates were going to be an ITEM!! ..hehehe..cool huh??..

then we started cam-whoring!! ..hehe..such a waste i didn't bring my camera!! ..don't ask about my mobile..it has the same level as 'trash' ..err..ok maybe not la..tooo many memories with that J 300i Sony erricson of mine..!!

then i went to wash my hand..the weird lady was next to me.. she saw my cross locket..and asked me.. 'are you a christian?'..i was like yeah..and then she started talking and talking.. i didn't understand half of what she was speaking.. but i knew one thing... she was criticizing one of the religion..and started talking about demon and devils... i told her, all that we can do is pray for them..and she said 'NO!! ..THEY ARE DEMONS!!' ..i certainly did not agree with her!! ..prayers can work miracle..in fact all demons are cast out through prayer.. anyway that's not my point.. I have got no idea what she went through..but she has got no right to speak about people of other faiths like that.. They are God's children as well.. Alexander Pope once said, TO ERR IS HUMAN; TO FORGIVE DIVINE.. and she was preaching about the bible and started to condemn other denominations as well.. if she reads the bible a lot.. then she should know..that in the book of proverbs it stands written that one should SHUT UP!! if they can't speak good about others.. Perhaps she has been judged wrongly by this particular denomination..well still she should know that.. JESUS was rejected, despised and condemned to death.. HE did not complain neither did HE say anything.. all HE did was FORGIVE.. perhaps instead of complaining and bad-mouthing other religion..it would really help a lot if she just replace those moments with praying.. and what is the point of you reading the bible, and at the same time you can stop condemning others??..it makes no difference.. YOU LIVE THE WORD..and that's how it becomes the WORD OF LIFE..!!

now if only i had the guts to actually say all that to her...*sigh* ..so yeah..i just stood there like a fool showing off my 32 teeth...and then i heard them 'JUANNN!!' ..i still stood there... and again.. 'JUANNNN..COME HERE NOW!!!'.. i was starting to think..just a few minutes..and they are already missing me?? ..=p ..and the last time..'JUANNNNNNNNNN!!!' ..this time..i told her..'sorry aunty i really have to go'..

i went there and they were actually snapping a group picture!! ..thank God i didn't miss it!! ..it's just the 4th week and we have started snapping group pics!! ..cool huh??..hehe
it's gonna be an awesome year...of cause not including the assignments, course work, homework and exams!!




the one picture i manage to grab from pek's blog!..thanks PEK!!..

anywa have a nice day peeps!!..=)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Lost...

there's a lot on my mind..
a lot i want to speak out..
every time i try..
i can't find the right words..
i can't swallow them..neither can i vomit it out..

well...my grandma is going in a while time..taking the 11.55 p.m. flight to London..i've have got no idea when will she be back..or will she ever.. She just has too.. She has to attend my wedding.. She has to see my kids.. and tell them stories..like she told me..damm I'M GONNA MISS HER!!

Now I'm blank again..lost words..
don't know why I'm feeling so frustrated...
part of it..maybe cause she's going..
but there's something else..
I'm not sure what is it..
Maybe i am..I just don't wanna admit it..

Anyway..there is this gal in my class.. She's like a nerd.. She has practically started every assignment.. well don't ask me.. I'm just being a typical lazy teenager..haven't started anything yet..!! and I realize this weirdness and perfection is her which in this world would seem a bit odd.. so did my friends.. How come she has that enthusiasm and we don't?.. i wondered..

well today.. she was talking to my Ms Low, and we all knew that her dad is a cancer patient..4th stage.. Just waiting for his time..and all this while.. she had accepted it bravely..and was totally prepared. She knew he was going to go away.. But today..while telling her story, and i was of course..eavesdropping..(it was kinda laud) ..she begin to cry..

and then i realize.. maybe that's the reason why she's a perfectionist.. maybe she feels responsible..or maybe she want's to fulfill her father's dream.. and the worst thing is.. she doesn't have anyone to depend or hang on to.. well..if it was me..i know i have JESUS.. but does she knows she has HIM by her side as well??..and despite not knowing this.. she is willing to hold on and persevere ..that's the beauty i saw..in her..

i pray that God will heal her dad..and show him..how well has he raised up his daughter.. Give her your strength and wisdom Lord, to get through this trial and tribulations courageously.. Hope that she will not give up..in not giving up! ..i ask this through Christ Our Lord Amen!!

guess that's it for today...though there is a lot on my mind...i just cant seem to put them down here.. maybe it's best they just stay up there..and keep on making my life miserable..
alright then..got to go to KLIA!! ..
see my granny..and make sure she is here..for my wedding!! ..=p

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

You think you know me??..

SOME KNOWN AND UNKNOWN FACTS ABOUT ME..=P

1)I will be 19 in the 15th of June 2009..(the last number of my age and year always matches)
2)I cant see without my glasses or contacts..
3)I still have my soft toys in bed room..all sitting comfortably on my bed(I'm looking forward in getting more..=p)
4)HILLSONGS and PLANET SHAKERS's songs..are my pillar of strength
5)I am a big fan of the band westlife..gay or not..their songs are AWESOME!!..
6)The novel 'PARADISE' by Judith Mcnaught is the best romance novel i've read so far.
7)I love the colour purple, pink, and black..
8)I love playing CHESS..and wouldn't stop till i CHECKMATE you!!
9)I love going online and chatting after midnight..the best so far is till 6 a.m. ..(mom got up after that..hehe)
10)I prefer singing compared to playing instruments..though I'm pretty bad at both..
11)Hamburger or salad??...HAMBURGER!!!
12)I thread my eyebrows every 3 weeks at least..
13)I hate hot beverages especially milo. I don't take tea and coffee..
14)I dislike the black mushrooms..it feels like I'm in fear factor eating a leech..
15)I do not believe in love at first sight.
16)I love jigsaw puzzles. Preferably the 1000 pieces..the harder the better..hehe
17)I love wearing dangling earrings..
18)I prefer flats or sport shoes compare to my heels..
19)Jeans are so cool compared to skirts..and this doesn't mean I'm a tomboy..
20)I love dressing up for parties, weddings, functions etc..
21)I love going to the MOVIES!!..
22)Cam-whoring!!is what i am best at..=p
23)Jeremiah 29:11..is my favorite bible verse..
24)if i was given a choice between my MP3 and a paper and pencil..I would choose the
the paper and pencil..
25)I can touch my nose..with my tongue.. =p

hehehe...not that i have so much free time left..just that..i wouldn't know what i really like until i wrote it down..

Monday, February 2, 2009

Odd one out!!

Mom shouted..'JUANNNN!!!...IT'S 7a.m!!! GET UP GET UP!!!' still dreaming...i said 'no no ma...they wont start so early!!' ..my mom was like 'YOU'RE LATE FOR CLASS!!' i was like huh??..what day is it??..CRAP!! i was late!! ..and of all day it was my PUBLIC SPEAKING DAY!! ...the useless alarm didn't ring!!

i usually get up at 5.30a.m and take the 6.21 a.m. train!! i was like damm i'm like 1 and the half and hours late...a thought came to my mind..'already late no need to go!'..so tempting..but i was like..'DREAM On!! i slept at 2 a.m. practicing my speech!! i can't sacrifice my sleep for nothing..hehe..and then thank God it was City day...so all my family members was on leave..except me..as usual.. so my darling sis..made no noise in sending me to UTAR...while mom went to st john's for the deacons ordination..

i arrived at college 10 minutes early.. Ms danielle, our Arts lecturer gave us a heart attack before and after showing us the examples of Visual diary and our assignments!! i wanted to throw up there and there..I CANT BE DOING THAT!! ...my group members..are not a big fan of art either ..all of us wanted to drop dead there and there!! LOOK AT ME!!..seriously do i look like someone who can draw and paint??..i mean don't look at my hair of cause..i didn't paint it ..was in fact born with it..hehehe..I DONT!! ..arghhh

then during English lecture...i had another explosion.. Thanks to MISS REBECCA TAN SIEW YENG( i know you'll be reading this =p)..y do i always have to do something different..why can't i just follow the crowd..and write like a normal person..*sigh*
anyway..ms kasthoori asked us to write 5 sentence about our ideal partner.. seriously 5 sentence was obviously not enough...probably need a whole book or something..lolz..but i did manage 5 short sentence..well i don't know from where i got the idea of my ideal partner...and where did i come up with such words..perhaps i've already meet that someone..or maybe not..=(
and little miss becca here just had to make my life more miserable by handing out my paper to teacher!!..(becca your sooo gona get it!!)..=p ..and yeah mine was read out laud..damm..how embarrassing can it get??..especially the last part??

and finally...it was PUBLIC SPEAKING CLASS!! and as usual..i was shivering, trembling,ready to throw up any moment..or perhaps just commit suicide there and there..hehe..STRESSED!!..just wanted to get done with it!
since i was the last student to perform my speech..i was able to compare theirs and how will mine turn out..practically all of them had power point presentation..!!
Lik jo talked about his robot..and even brought it along with him..
landy talked about how to study smart..quite informative..
charlene talked about BANANA!!...my favorite!!
Faye..talked bout CHOCOLITO!!...YUMMMYYYY
Gladice talked bout the differences between guys and gals..very entertaining..
one Chinese guy (forgot his name)..talked bout instant noodle..he didn't have any slide..but it was kinda erm..ok la
Kai ping talked bout vacation in Malaysia!!..

then it was my turn...i was like..gonela..i don't have any presentation!! but seriously..i didn't know what to put if i was to present it!!..no pictures..NOTHING!!
n plus i was the only one who was not talking bout something factual..i was talking bout my own experience..THE JOY OF SAVING LIVES..

i didn't have any choice than to show them what i had..what i practiced..
so i went up there..nervous of course..i spoke...and as i did..i saw all eyes was on me..i was like..thanking God..i manage to get their attention..and when i was done..
..it was like heaven!!...i was done!! ..i did my best i guess..or maybe i could have done better..like ms sharon said..or perhaps show some emotion..well..i don't know but as far as i'm concern i was sincere and i meant every word i said..
she did congratulate me though..for doing it without a presentation..
so sometimes..IT'S NOT THAT BAD TO BE THE ODD ONE OUT!! =P

Sunday, February 1, 2009

i hate this part!!

CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!!...
i can't take it any longer!!
Thought that we were stronger..
all we do is linger..
slipping through my finger..

i don't wanna try now..
all that's left's goodbye to..
find a way that i can tell you..

I HATE THIS PART RIGHT HERE!!...

hehehe..ok chill chill...i'm not singing that to anyone..
But seriously i'm hating this part soooo terribly!!..i hate this feeling!!! i hate this unprepared-ness in me!!..ARGH

i'm having my public speaking tomorrow!!..and i'm here still got time to blog.. I'm surely gonna screw it up!! like i always do..i hate being a pessimist..but i can't help it..cause i know i'm not going to do well...

what i if i bore them..or make a fool out myself??...or even worst..just throw up??..
CRAP!!!..maybe i should just take an MC...i mean..i am feeling sick anyway!!..
what if i forget my lines??...wish there is someone i can talk too!!...probably get them to lie to me..that i am not that bad after all..=(

ok...with the guidance of the Holy Spirit..i am gonna go up there.and do my BEST!!.. i am going to smile!!..though i forget my lines...hope that they will at least show their sympathetic smile..at my lame joke!!...it cant be that bad??..can it??..
OH NOOOOO...ITS GOING TO BE AWFUL!!..

but i do feel much better ...hmmm
anyway..i better go and PRACTICE!!..
and theY are showing HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IN 615!!
God..its sooo unfair for you test me like this!!

p/s keep me your prays!!..