Thursday, September 30, 2010

Its just hard can it be??

"Don't wanna live this life.. dont wanna say goodbye.. with you I wanna spent the rest of my life.."

haizzz.. nope.. that's not a greeting.. its a way of emo mood is suddenly on!! It's not suppose too! sighhh ..why why..oh WHY??! ..Yes, why me?!.....grrrr ..and incase you're wondering what in the world is "emo mood" ..

  • Its when you look at the empty spaces between your fingers.. and wonder "argh, will they ever be filled??"
  • Its when you watch those dumb romance movie and cry your eye balls out..
  • Its when you read your favorite love novel like a million times.. and re-read again.. the part where he says, "I love you..always have..always will.."
  • Its when you listen to sappy love songs with the lyrics.."Don't know what to say.. never meant to feel this way.. Don't wanna be alone tonight.."
  • Its when you look at all those cute couple pictures in tumblr.. and despise it saying.. "it doesn't exist.. that kinda love doesnt exist" ..
  • Its when you try to sleep at night.. buy your heart is not allowing you too..
Oh great.. now I sound like 15 year old who just had a terrible break up.. lol.. nope, I didnt.. its just sometimes hmmm.. sometimes you have to feel all this nonsense.. and face it.. to prove to yourself, that your completely human.. and thats how your suppose to feel..=)

HEHEHE..lets cut the crap..shall we?? .. I mean, think positive Juan!!.. its just life, how hard can it be, no?..=)

So, how was your day?.. mine was dramatic!!.. D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C!! ..hehehe.. actually I'm the last person on earth to be connected with what-so-ever dramas.... or maybe I was just so over-excited that for once I am able to dress normally like a 20 year old college student instead of a 30 year old working adult.. hence, I created

It was that one of that rare day in Public Speaking class..where I didn't have to present. I was done!!.. for now la.. another 2 more to go..sighhh.. so anyway, it was soooo awesome to be the ones who are not presenting, whereby your heart doesn't feel like coming out every single second..and your palm not sweating like crazy..and your lips not mumbling your speech every time Mr Ken, aint looking..hehehe..and so as I sit back and watch them present.. I questioned every group.. I don't know how..or why.. I just felt like cause normally, I'm the suffer in silence kinda the type.. the invisible..where you wouldn't even know I exist in class.. =) .. so maybe some of you will disagree.. but seriously if you ask me to describe my self in one word.. its SHY!!.. ssiighhh..

So much for a mass com student la k!..=( ...

And by the way.. the took away THE NANNY!! ...grrrrr!! how could they?? ..its the one show where I don't mind watching it over and over again.. eventhough I think I've repeated it like about 10 times.. sighhh.. no joke la k!!. I love the nanny.. and niles.. and CC.. And now you see.. its like I'm not entitled to have the things I love and treasure the most!!..

lol.. you hear me, Lord??.. ;p ;p ... I'm not hinting at you or something.. but yeah. you get my point rite..??

hehe.. ok ok.. i shall leave now.. before I continue crapping and bore you with the lame-ness of my life..


Nighty nite!..

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Guys! ..;p ;p

"Cause I am your lady.. and you are my man.. Whenever you reach for me, I'll do all that I can.. We're heading for something.. somewhere I've never been.. Sometimes I am frightened but I'm ready to learn of the power of love.."

Celion Dion rocks!!..hehe.. don't you think so?? ... Seriously if you wanna know some real songs or lyrics.. Ronan Keating, Bryan Adams, Michael Jackson.. are to die for.. Westlife, Boyzone BSB, 98 degree.. are when you've already died and went to heaven!!.. Josh Groban, John Mayor, Shayne Ward, Eric Clapton,...are heaven itself!!..=) hehe.. 90's songs rocks!! .... And these are what you call songs la k.. Not "Baby baby baby oh...thought you'd always be mine??!" ..what nonsense..hehehehe..

Sooo...hmm.. lets talk about something interesting.. I mean I know you must be bored listening to my whining about life.. Complaining to God.. facing the fact about how gorgeous and beautiful I am...;p ;p ..hehehehe.. deep down you do agree right?? Forgive me if you don't.. but I believe sometimes flattery is something that keeps you going..=)

Anyway.. A dear friend of mine was complaining to me..about how insensible, selfish and unthoughtful guys can get.. lol..ok, I added a bit there but chill chill.. dont curse me yet.. Let me just proof myself first k? hehe..

For example.. a minute ago, everything was fine.. and suddenly, we're back to being formal again??!.. And we thought only girls had PMS and mood swing!! day the messages fly like nobody's business.. the next day there's none.. oh wait~~ guys were waiting for us?? ..ok, that makes sense.. and then we girls, dumbly sent one pathetic message.. and these guys..JUAL MAHAL!! ..ish ish.. like giler-giler la k.. But seriously, its either you want her.. or you dont!.. make up your mind.. cause leaving a girl hanging there.. aint fair!.. torturing and mean..=)

Ok, so I may sound harsh and a little hmmm childish.. but please its not that I'm going through it.. I'm way..waaayyy over it!!.. lol.. but allow me to be more sensible.. Have you ever wondered why us girls are given the gift to take care of barbie dolls.. while you guys.. will do whatever it takes to try to tear barbie's heads or hands and of cause her panties??..hehehe.. Its because, we, girls are programmed to care, to be patient, to be kind enough to fix back that broken dolls head.. And you guys are programmed to not destroy but to handle stuffs, to be built and find something big, with speed and to be left alone..

Perhaps thats why, it hurts us girls, when you don't take the effort to reply, msg or call her.. not because we wanna bug you..but because we care.. though it may seem silly and ridiculous.. one msg from you..means the world to her.. one call from you, could drive her crazy.. and trust me, if shes really in it..shes in it for real.. well I know I am..=)

Beyonce's "If I were a boy.." was a lil too bias.. I mean come on!.. that weird species called "men"..must have something in them that makes them useful..heheh.. R.Kelly made it perfect with his REMIX .. but seriously, sometimes I wish the genders could trade places.. at least for one day.. maybe it could make things better..

Hhehehe.. I'm sorry, I was a bit too hyper.. don't mind me.. and of cause, I do believe everyone is different.. every guy is different.. so please, don't terease eh!..hehehe..
well I would end this post by saying something unrelated.. lol..

"You places the stars in the sky and you know them by name..
You see the depth of my heart and you love me just the same..
You are amazing, God.."

I saw this in tumblr!!..and woaaaahh.. I got goosebumps!!

When Christ overtakes a woman’s life and transforms her from the inside out.. she becomes truly feminine-a picture of elegance,grace,and loveliness blended with sacrificial selfless devotion to her King... She becomes a true lady, carrying herself with poise and confidence.. yet deflecting all attention away from herself and toward Jesus Christ... She is enchantingly mysterious, holding her inner life sacred and guarding her heart with quiet tenacity...

Noble, breathtaking, captivating, Christ-centered femininity is truly a sight to behold. .It’s a beauty that does not draw attention to the woman.., but to Jesus Christ... It’s a radiance that is not dependent upon age,.. circumstances, or physical enhancements... It’s a loveliness that flows from deep within-the refreshing beauty of heaven, of a life transformed from the inside out by Jesus Christ....

P/s A womans heart should be so lost in God..that a guy has to seek God in order to have her..

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Your will be done..

"In my life, Your will be done.."

Ahem..!!.. hehehe.. it's been awhile I suppose..=) and lydia had started complaining that none of her blogger friends are updating their blogs.. hehe I "terasa" a bit eh.. and well, lydia is also probably doing a great job in taking my place.. cause nowadays every time I log in blogger account, I'm always so eager to read her stories.. =)

Anyway, the truth is I've been really really busy!!.. The weekend was filled with dancing, visiting my dear friend rina, partying for Sam's bday, eating, lazying.. arguing, worrying..speeching for public speaking's Mid term, babysitting bernadette,.. crazy I tell you!..hehehe I mean maybe you can tell me, "I always see in you in FB!" But seriously, you may see me but I'm not really Besides FB is getting so so bored!..hmmm

Today was ok i guess..;p ;p ..ok fine fine!! It was soooo unexpected that Sam kept on asking me, "So your heart came out or not??" ....hehehe.. well it did .. seriously I don't understand how it actually works.. A minute ago, everything was chaos!! EVERYTHING!! ...or was it a month.. ..hmm anyway I didn't like that part of me.. I couldn't recognize that reflection I saw.. That girl who was trying to fit in the world, but never felt uncomfortable doing it.. And now suddenly everything is falling into place... not to say, I manage to fit in.. I realize it didn't matter, whetherI fit in..or not..

And well, the thing is everything seem so perfect that I'm too afraid to feel excited..


Its hard..very hard..
When you don't know where the road is taking you.. what is theres a cliff in front?.. or a lion waiting to feast??.. And if I take the wrong road.. without a map in myhand..sigghh.. And you know I'm bad at reading maps..=(
I know it will be hard.. but knowing something and then going through it is too different things..
Everything changes when you face the lions.. who'd ever thought those hairy, handsome, proud animal would have such sharp teeth and claws that could tear you apart..hmm

Ok everyone knew that.. but Lord you get my point rite??.. When you expect things to go your own way.. instead of putting it into Your hands.. I end up torn apart..=(

And telling someone to have faith and learning to trust.. is a hard test, when you yourself are put in that situation.. like I said, its so damm hard.. that sometimes you quit trusting.. which is bad..
And if I fail again.. siggh..

I fell in love with this song.. the moment I heard it.. I think you should take a look at it too..

Oceans will part ~hillsong~
Verse 1
If my heart has grown cold,
There Your love will unfold;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
When I'm blind to my way,
There Your Spirit will pray;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

Oceans will part; nations come
At the whisper of Your call.
Hope will rise; glory shown.
In my life, Your will be done.

Verse 2
Present suffering may pass,
Lord, Your mercy will last;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
And my heart will find praise,
I'll delight in Your way,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

Oceans will part; nations come
At the whisper of Your call.
Hope will rise; glory shown.
In my life, Your will be done.

Your will be done Lord.. not mine..

Thursday, September 23, 2010


And I wonder how weird can the world become?

I still haven't recovered from the excitement of my "ahem" crush..speaking to me.. hehe.. oh yeshh he did!!..He did!! And yeap, it was magical.. Deep voice..wonder if he could ok too much of details.. but yeah I feel 15 all over again!.. *swaps her wings and flys away* ..hehehe..

And then while you were buzy building your castle in the air.. there comes a message from your very close friend..saying she has just undergone 2 operations to remove a growth and a lymph node.. and goodness, while I was buzy blogging and thinking about my crush.. my friend was admitted, in pain, needing all the prayers she can get... sighh.. way to go Juan!!..

And then, you receive another message from another close friend.. which might have caused your frienship and trust to be in jeopardy!! ...and perhaps you were the one to be blamed this time..

And then you have another friend who's bugging you to know what in the world is going on with your life.. sounds like a good thing..but nope, it aint that good.. because its not with everyone you have that "chemistry" of telling your stories.. and perhaps, I might have hurt him by refusing to do so..


I know... a pathetic excuse for a friend eh??.. the world is weird I claim.. or maybe its just me.. hmmm.. apparently only I'll end up in this kinda mess.. and yet I'm blessed with such amazing friends..

yikes.. sorry, it was a pretty bad overall.. but it'll be good!.. I hope so..

And I'll conclude this post by something I found is Sarah's blog..

Difficult to earn,
Tough to give,
So powerful,
Yet delicate;
And vulnerable..

Able to bring someone up,
But its also able to tear one to pieces,
Like shattered glass..

Only given once,
Never again,
Always present,
Though often forgotten..

What we call,

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

It's still not too late..

Good evening everyone!!

hehehe.. weeeeeeeeeeeee!!.. *jumps around till she touches the sky* ...*fly down back to earth with a parachute* ...*parachute got stuck on the tree* ..*climbs down the tree* ...*brushes leave and dirt of her shirt* ...*grins like an idiot* ..weeeeeee!!

LOL.. I'm just super duper excited!.. hmmm... I don't know why.. I mean its not the first time I completed my assignment before 12.. there's something else.. Something unexplainable.. and please just forget about my crush la k.. especially to pinky whose asking me to go talk to him and introduce myself..which is practically like a death knowing the fact that my social skills are a BIG NO-NO ...and I could just faint and he could could hear my heart beat cause I'm sure its gonna be that laud...hehe..and to sam who posted it on my FB wall, and further informing it to the whole world about my silly little crush...hehe..and I'm forgetting someone else.. hmm.. oh yeah.. thanks to me, for blogging about it in the first place.. cause if "he" happens to read this.. I swear I'll migrate.. or plastic surgery.. or whatever la k!..ssiighhh..

Well, lets leave that aside..

Moving on, have you heard of MIS TRES HERMANAS?? yes I'm a spanish soup opeara addict.. probably watched everything on NTV7 and TV3 ... it was those days la.. Right after school, straight glued to the TV.. =) too rite??.hehe..So far MIS TRES HERMANAS is the best.. I watched all 200 episodes twice!..hehe.. I can't help it.. I mean I know they're acting.. but somehow I could feel it.. Yes feel whatever is it you're suppose to feel when you're in love.. ssiighhh.. and when I heard the song "A PULOR DULOR" ..waaaaahhhh ... almost tearing k!!.. I memorized every single word of that song, in spanish.. and english too.. yes, the SPANISH version is like a 1000xs better! =)

Ok ok...I don't wanna bore you anymore.. I found this in tumblr..*again* ..hehe.. tumblr is just awesome la k!.. you should open one too.. So these are so-called the 11 painful things:

  1. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget..
  2. Reminiscing the good times..
  3. Trying to hide what you really feel..
  4. Loving someone who loves another..
  5. Having a commitment with someone whom you know it wouldn't last..
  6. Shielding your heart to love somebody..
  7. Loving someone too much..
  8. Right love at the wrong time..
  9. Taking risk to fall in love again..
  10. Accepting that it was never meant to be..
  11. "What ifs" ..
Nope, I don't deny that these stuffs aint painful.. but I also found something else in tumblr..

"It hurts me, when you say you're forever alone"~God...

Woahhhhh... those words soothed me like no other!!..

  • Blessed aren't we, to be able to know that no matter what problems we have.. we have someone who is willing to take care of it all..
  • To know that someone wants to wipe our tears away..and will do anything to see that smile on our face..
  • To know that He wants to replace the broken hearts.. with His very own..
  • To know that He sees every struggle we are going through and that He is in the midst of shielding us from that very pain..
  • To know that even if the world leaves us all alone.. He is always waiting for us..
  • To know that at this very minute, He is watching over you.. like a mother hen protecting her chicks..
  • To know that He is lost without us.. without hearing our voice.. without giving Him a place in your very own place..
  • To know that even if we ignore Him, and throw Him far far away.. He stil loves us, more than you can ever imagine..
Very blessed I should say.. and yet, we take Him for granted..

But well, it stil aint that late!..=)

There's a reason why it didn't work out..

"That was quite a show..very entertaining.. but its over now.. Go on and take a bow.."

Today wasn't that bad.. I mean it depends on how you're looking at it.. The part I slept at 3am completing my video...and I got up at 5.30am to catch the 6.12am train.. and of cause, KTM being KTM... got delayed somewhere in the middle for 30 mins.. which caused me and evonne to take a cab to UNI for our presentation practice at 8am.. our class was at 9.30 .. And in my formal cloths, which I loved it sooo much, that I refuse to take it out when the day ended..;p ;p I mean its not everyday I get to wear a skirt and a blouse and heels.. and my mom said I looked 10 times my age..weeeee!! which is a good thing, cause I can't stand it when I hear them say..."You,re 20??..I thought your taking PMR this year.." ..ssiighhh.. I know, damm sad huh?...

And wait, I'm not done 9.30am we entered the class.. eagerly I took down my place, with my notes.. determined to turn the world upside down, with my so-called speech..hehehe.. wait I forgot to mention something important.. recently, I've been crushing on someone..hehe and don't worry, he doesn't know my blog.. so its safe..=) ....but yeah.. I was soooo mesmerized when he presented..couldn't get my eyes off him and almost drooling, I was bugging pinky, sam and yamunah's life every single minute by saying.."Omg, he's soooo cute!!", ..*sorry guys* ...Can't help it..;p

And when it was our turn.... I started off.. was quite please with my self that I didnt start crapping or cracking lame jokes.. hehe.. and just when we're about to reach conclusion.. Mr Ken asked us to stop because he can't hear us..due to the drilling sound on third floor... and nope he didn't ask us to continue.. but we're suppose to RE-DO ..i repeat RE-DO the whole presentation this Thursday!!.. sssiighhh... so you tell me, how should I feel??

But I can't forget one thing.. that crush of mine was smiling AT me, while I started my presentation k!..hehehe.. well I thought I was dreaming, but I confirmed it the second time!!.. ;p ;p ....and yes they were like 1000s of butterflies all over!!..hehehehehehehe...

And so to conclude my dramatic day... I think that no matter how your day went on.. You shouldn't bother about what you've missed, what you've let go.. or what hasn't turn out the way you wanted it to... and instead count the blessings you've received and thank God for what you have.. because there's a reason why it didn't work out..=)... and who knows, I might be able to see him smiling at me again.. this Thursday..;p ;p

Before I leave,
A quote from tumblr,

We have not been promised to live a perfect life here. But we are promised that we will never be alone while living this imperfect life

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Completing the race

"Well its hard enough to hear.. harder still to move beyond this fear.. "

Nope, you don't wanna mess with me right now!.. sigghh.. well actually you can. I don't mind using some humour now.. =( .. Just that, all of a sudden my YOUTUBE downloader aint working.. and my darling sister deleted every single software in the laptop.. and when I try to download a new one, its taking me ages..sighhh great!! just great!! cant get any better.. can it?? ..Obviously it can.. because I have no idea what to wear tomorrow.. grrr..

Hehe.. wanna take a guess which one is the biggest problem?!? ..;p ;p ..

No, I'm not prepared for tomorrow.. so that means I should take a break and rant!..Are you with me??..hehehe

Well anyway.. I met a few friends today.. Old and new. Sad and happy. Mixed. Some doesn't seem to have any problems.. Some seem to have A LOT of problems.. Some put on a cover the scars.. and well it didn't work, cause I noticed it!..=)

The thing about life is that.. no motter how smooth it is going.. there will be a hump somewhere in the middle, or at the end.. or at the beginning.. Can you avoid the humps??.. well, you could if you don't mind paying extra for new tyres..=) or you could simply cross the hump.. and move on with life.. because you may never know what lies behind that hump.. small or big.. its another turn in your life.. hehe.. I know you must be wondering.. "gee what is this girl talking about??" ..

Hmm.. have you ever ran a race?? .. Well I have.. Yes, long distance and short distance. lol.... The whole family, kinda use to be athletes.. so yes, its the blood..=) .. Anyway do you know whats the real joy of running a race?.. its not a bout the gold, silver or bronze medal.. its about COMPLETING THE RACE..No matter how far the distance is, how hard the stones are on the ground or how heavy the rain is pouring.. the point is.. You have reached the finish line!! ... Gold or not.. You still did it! ..

And its not easy.. it was never easy.. because if it was easy.. then it wouldn't be worth it.. if the mountain wasn't that high.. you wouldn't have thought it was necessary to climb it.. if the sea wasn't that deep.. there wouldn't be any beautiful fishes or corals for you to appreciate.. =)

But there's this one thing that was bothering me today.. what do you do.. when one of your friend decides to take the wrong turn??.. sighhh.. You're too buzy with your own race.. and you're friend decides to stop and dig a hole!!..aarrgghhh... am I still powerless to change the direction?? .. Or should I do something about it?.. if yes, what is it??.. talk??.. and if I say the wrong thing??... arghhh

Lord, in case your hearing me, please do something!.. Amen!

And and.. help me with this one video..pleeasee!..

Monday, September 20, 2010

It runs in the blood..;p ;p

So take this heart of mine.. there's no doubt.. I'm in better hands now!..

OMG.. you simply gotta go listen to this song k!!.. Someone posted it on tumblr!..and it was amazing!!.. awesome lyrics!..magically melody!!.. you'll love it..=).. hmmm..that also if we have the same chemistry of cause! if you dont, I'm not gonna say that you have a bad taste..;p ;p.. but well, forgive me for wasting your time then..=(.. but you have to like it!! will!..trsut me!..and ooopss.. sorry I forgot to mention the name..its I'M IN BETTER HANDS BY NATALIE GRANT! =))

Anyway I'm just super excited!.. cause I manage to find everything I want for my assignment!.. now all I have to do is to put in one slide!..hmmmm.. tough one there.. and speak for 5 minutes!.. aagghhrr.. Oh come on Juan!!.. think positive!!.. You fell down from the stairs of the library in front of UCSI students!!..but you can't speak in front of your course mates for 5 minutes!??? ...ssiighhh.. I know.. I'm sooo doomed rite??!..

First presentation was alright.. why am I getting so worked up for my second??!!.. grrrr.. Anyway, lets release stress a bit..hehe

Did I mention to you that my cousin Bernadette is the most annoying thing ever, yet she melts me like an ice-cream in the sun??!!..hehehehe..

Here's some conversations..

Me: Fuuyyoohh...someone going to CBN next year..
Bernadette: ...CBN??..whats that??
Me: Convent Bukit Nenas.. Your school next year..
Bernadette: ..ohhh.. do they have playgrounds there???

Since bernadette complaint her stomach was aching, I rubbed the "minyak kapak" oil for her..hehe..

Bernadette: Please don't put this oil tooo much!
Me: But why?? will help reduce the pain..
Bernadette: Because then it will be tooo spicy!!
Me: Spicy?? ..You mean like the sambal amachi makes??
Bernadette: ...NOOOO!!..I don't know how.. but it will be spicy!!
Me: ...Burning, you mean??
Bernadette: Burning?? ..there will be fire??!!
Me..: LOL!!!

This is between my mom and bernadette.. they were watching tom and jerry.. dont you all just love that cartoon??! well I do!..hehe

Mom: Bernadette, please put your leg down!
Bernadette: ....but why??!!
Mom: Because the sofa is a place to sit.. not to rest your leg..
Bernadette: But what if I sit with my leg up??..
Mom: The sofa will get dirty then, cause is also dirty!
I menyampuk here..hehe
Me: It's ok, bernadette doesn't mind washing it for you..
Bernadette: But how??!! it can't fit in the washing machine!
Me: Who said we're gonna use the machine??...;p ;p
Bernadette merajuk!!....hehehe

..I just find her sooooo absolutely adorable!!.. well, it surely runs in the blood!..Ahem ahem!!..;p ;p ....and deep down you agree don't you??..XD

Raya post still hanging!... =( soon la k..soon!!..

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Finish the sentence!

I'm suppose to blog about tonight.. but I'll save it for tomorrow k!.. I have something else.. that is kinda interesting..

Finish the sentence

My ex...: is such a pain in the you-know-where!..;p ;p

Maybe I should...: run far far away..and never come back?..hmmm

I love...: the rain!!!..... and music and blogging and...well almost everything that is not crawling, stinking, or slippery.. I am very prone to accidents..sighh

People would say that i'm...: short and blur....*they come together in a package*..

I don't understand...: why is it that they find it so damm hard to pronounce my name!!

When i wake up in the morning...: its not because I want to... but I just had to!..=(

I often have...: weak knees when you look me in the eye..

Life is full of...: mystery..and its up to you on how far you wanna go through it to unfold them..=)

My past is...: is a lesson, not a mistake..=)

I get annoyed when...: when you start judging and condemning others.. No one has that right, but God..=)

Parties are...: always fun when you're surrounded with the right people!!..

I wish...: I was a kid again.. because scratched knees heals faster..than a broken heart..

Dogs...: are not really your best friend when they start chasing you.. and well, I'm one of their favorite victims!!..sighhh..

Cats...: are cunning!!.. seriously, it went up to the back of my kitchen window..with its tail hanging down and i thought it was a freaking snake!!..and my dad rushed all they way from tesco for my rescue!!..ssiighhh..

Tomorrow...: should be fun!..

I have low tolerance...: when you start shouting at me..=(

If I had a million dollars...: I'm gonna have a hard time figuring what to do with it!..

I'm totally terrified...: when I chase the murderer in my dream..and end up getting murdered!..

hehehe cya!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Chatting madness

I think I'm dreading the next public holiday on the calendar!!..ssiighh..
I'm dead bored.. and if you are too.. You can read this post till the end.. or else I suggest you not to waste your precious time..=)

So anyway have you ever noticed the syles of certain people when they chat.. Hmm.. lets analyze..

Firstly, there are some who opens a conversation and says "hey wassup.." ...and then you reply.. and thats it! ..they dissappear.. lol.. weird people.. why start a conversation when all you say is HEY??..

There's the ones who says Hi, and continues with it.. who gives one word answer.. who expects you to make a conversation.. I mean, that's alright..since I always have something to talk about.. but, I can't if all you say is YES or NO or I DON'T KNOW.. siggh.. thats really sad..

And there's the cheeky one.. who starts calling you "dear", "baby" ...err "darling" .."chellam" ..heheheh.. I mean come on!..I barely know your age.. and your not even using your real name..we just chatted for 10 minutes!.. seriously, do I look that easy?? ..I mean I'm not playing hard-to-get.. but you got to have something else, besides sweet talking!

Moving on, there's this one.. who starts a conversation and got you all interested.. and you're thinking.. wow, this person is something.. but of cause they have to spoil it by asking, "what is your bra size" ...sighhh.. perverts!! ...

And then the ones who remained interesting and seemed to like talking to you.. that particular moment seems like magic.. but then they stop!.. I mean no more replies.. either they cant find anything else to talk about which is likely impossible!..or it could because they found something or someone else whos more interesting.. typical.. they need you only when they have nothing better to do..

And they there's the speacial ones.. where you can go on crapping and crapping and never once got bored of you.. they nudge you when you dont reply.. they make you laugh like crazy.. and these are the rare ones.. If you ever find them.. don't ever let go!..=)

And so I told you, this post is completely useless.. hmm not completely though.. at least you can find out where your chatter's fit it..hehehe.. I know, I'm impressed with myself as well!..;p ;p

Adios amigas..!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

God's way are beyond words

"Nothing is impossible for You.. You whole my world in Your hands.."

Today is hmmmm.. I got no words.. not dramas.. maybe a mystery.. or adventure perhaps? ... Well, Im just gona kill time.. so hear me alrite..=)

Firstly, thanks to Maureen Alma and Mary Pat who dumped Christina and me.. and hence cancelling our plans to catch a movie and hang out... But of cause.. even that couldn't stop us from conquering the world...

Lol.. sorry wanted it to be more adventurous..well in other words, we went on with our initial plan.. And my official date for the day..CHRISTINA ABIGAIL!!..hehehe..

We took KTM together..had lunch together.. and talked.. talked and talked.. watched movie of cause..... The only movie available and suited our timing was GOING THE DISTANCE.. It couldn't be any more perfect..a romance movie..and we're there with our pop corn.. seated among dozens of couple..who were holding hands, hugging, lying down on ones shoulder.. kissing.. yes, French kissing.. It was a good view.. but goodness, get a room people!!.. seriously, this is guys could get arrested in ISA ...hehehe.. drama a bit..;p

And we went cloths and hair band hunting.. We cancelled the guys-hunting part today... to treasure every moment together... lol.. actually we didnt meet any thats worth looking la..

Hehe..I came back then.. spent the evening playing the piano.. then wondered why did I stop.. hmmm.. mystery...

Then at night, while I was reminiscing about how interesting my life is on facebook and tumblr.. A chat box appeared in Facebook.. Eunicia Debnath.. My new found friend.. from UCSI of cause!.. I'll describe her in one sentence... She's a gift..=) In that one hour of casual chat.. I felt.. erm.. somewhat renewed.. I felt relieved.. I felt hope..

And its a mystery.. God's ways are very mysterious.. You'll never know whats gonna happen next..and thats the most exciting part.. whether its a storm or a sunshine.. just buckle up and keep the faith!!

Hence, when a stranger or a long lost friend comes and talk to you.. Don't hesitate.. It might God who's speaking to you.. through them..

You hold my every moment..
You calm my raging soul..
You walk with me through fire..
and heal all my disease..


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What kinda love is this??

"If you everything you say you are.. Won't you come close and hold my heart.."

Hello there.. Nope, I'm not in my blogging mood today.. or yet. But I simply pity this blog of mine.. I mean I have 124 post in my tumblr..which is about 3/4 month old.. and "written dreams" is just dying off.. I can't possibly leave this part of my life behind..can i?? It has been a true and loyal friend.. The one who doesnt mind listening to my nonsense though I don't make sense half of the time and it understands me.. and accepts me for my flaws and failures.. and YES!..I am talking about my blog..=)

And he, yes my blog happen to be a MALE.. doesn't find it weird, that I like him, more than any other human being alive.. lol.

Ok, I'm not thinking straight lately.. but you get my point right. that this in my life.. its like sealed in my blood.. If I don't rant out or crap.. then its .. not me.

Sigh.. Something is like so wrong somewhere rite??.. I know.. what to do.. its life.. Your plans are not God's plan.. like it or not.. you have to live it... so might as well learn to love it..=)

I wrote this in tumblr.. will share it here..

So I realize something today..

While I was questioning God, "Lord, have you forgotten about my existence??" ... I wondered, I kinda followed everything you said.. Almost, I suppose.. and yet, the storm keeps on hitting in like nobody's business.. Why??!!

And it hit me.. What in the world got me thinking that God actually OWED me something??.. That He has something to give in return.. where in fact, He has given everything He has, His very life..And its I that owe HIM!.. the air I breathe to the depths of the ocean are all his.. The beat of my heart to the single grain of sand.. are all His... If He can move the mountains.. He can surely heal a broken heart..

And did He ask anything in return??... Yes He did..that is to accept his undying love.. Argh.. What kinda love is this?.. so inhuman, so divine, so pure..

Lord, who am I to deserve you??.. Forgive me, for the foolishness of doubting you!


Co-ordination problem

And now I feel like blogging again.. hmm.. weird..

Well anyway today I discovered that I have co-ordination problem!.. ssiighhhh..
So we were practicing for the mooncake festival.. Its a dance for the song ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!! ...weeeeeeeeeeee!! ..

Oh yes, I'm all for it baby!!.. heheheh.. but then siiighhh.. the thing is.. NORMAL people will find it very easy to move your right leg with your left hand.. thats how you walk and run rite.. but I...siighh..ok this is soooo embarrassing.. but please keep it to yourself.. Seriously, I dont know how or WHY.. I simply cant get that steps rite!... sssiighhh... Picture this..left leg and left hand!.. I look like a freaking ROBOT!!! ...grrrrr!! ...and they were all laughing their hearts out!.. hmmmm ..well at least it made them happy..

And then.. time to shake butt.. I shake my shoulders.. Time to shake my shoulders ..I shake my butt!!...ssiighhh.. tension giler!!.. I'm so not made for dancing.. but secretly I do enjoy dancing.. *shhhh* keep it to yourself k??..hehehehe.. with the right group and the right song.. I could dance all night long!!.. you just havent seen that side of me la..hehehe

Well anyway, so I told you something really sacred today.. pleassee keep it to yourself ..I'm sure to keep yours too.. if you tel me of cause..

Lol.. c ya then!!..

Monday, September 13, 2010

It died off..

I dreamnt last night.. that I erm..started blogging again... It wasn't this post though.. It was something else.. been dreaming a lot these days.. which is not really according to psychologist or what I've learned.. the best sleeps are the "deep" sleeps.. where you don't dream..=)

Well, nevertheless I lasted 10 days without blogging.. LOL.. my previous post was not my own.. just something I came across in tumblr.. anyway, its not that I didn't wanna blog.. hmm.. its just that something inside me died.. went blank.. it shut off.. and I had no power to rejuvenate it back.. to bring it back to life..

I hope that excuse is enough..=)

So how have you been??.. Pretty good I guess.. through what I've read..

Anyway, I have nothing else to write!

Have a nice day...=)

And I apologize to those who faithfully visited my blog.. hoping for post.. I saw my "visit stats"..but I really hope I can give you a reason why.. but like I said.. it died off..

And thank you kawan-kawan setia dan sejati.. =)

Have a nice day!..

Friday, September 10, 2010


You see that girl staring into space? If you were to ask what’s wrong, she would say nothing, when in reality it’s everything. She’s sitting there wondering what wrong she did, what she could have done differently, how she would have changed it if she had the chance. And if she had the chance to go back and do it over again, would it end with the same result? That’s why she stares..

Friday, September 3, 2010

Soweto Gospel Choir - Khumbaya

Hey guys..I'll be away for the weekend.. and before I leave.. I wanna share this song!..Trust me you'll love it!!.. It's called KUMBAYA.. which means "COME BY HERE" ..Soweto Gospel Choir is AWESOME!!.. Goosebumps giler -giler.. all their songs are awesome.. and if your feeling down or happy just say, "KUMBAYA MY LORD!!" ..

Somebody’s crying Lord khumbaya
Somebody’s praying Lord khumbaya x 2

Oh Lord hear my prayer
As I lift my voice and say
I need your love today
I need you right away

Somebody’s crying Lord khumbaya
Somebody’s praying Lord khumbaya x 2

Somebody’s in despair
Somebody feels that no one cares
I know we’ll make a way
Yes we will make a way x 2

Oh Lord khumbaya
Oh Lord khumbaya x 3

Somebody’s in despair
Somebody feels that no one cares
I know we’ll make a way
Yes we will make a way x 2

Oh Lord khumbaya
Oh Lord khumbaya x 3

Have a nice weekend!..=)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

First day

"Oh my heart needs upholding.. oh my soul's in need of truth.. Come be near me, come surround me, Lord.."

I didn't know why was I so excited about first day of class yesterday.. And this morning, when I as about to leave.. I was hesitating.. I didn't wanna go!!.. sigh.. I dont know why does this always happen to me..

But of cause..I'm not use to following my heart.. I'm use to doing what is right..and following the head.. Probably thats why I'm miserable all the

So anyway did I tell you Mr Ken Chong, my first sem mass com lecturer, where I said I really like the way he teaches..?? Well, he's back again this sem!!.. weeeeeee!!.. see, I know there's a reason to be excited for.. lol..

Now the bad news is.. ish, always got bad news!..grrr.. anyway, we have have our first assignment and its due next Tuesday!!..Its not that only..its FORMAL WEAR, PRESENTATION!! ...can you believe my life??..sighhh..

And when I saw the name of the"country" my group was assigned!.. I laughed like crazy!!.. heheheeheh.. You'll never guess la k.. I'm just fated!..ssiighh...

Anyway, I had a hard time k!.. Choosing subjects for semester is waaayyy harder than choosing a life seriously..And since most of my friends are only taking 2 subjects.. well i might as well stop being different and start following the crowd rite??.. That means I don't have classes till 8 pm and I only have 2 days of class...ssiighhh..its gonna be very hard..though..hmmm

Ok fine, I might as well just tell you.. The truth is.. I'm not a girl!.. I'm a boy actually..

LOL!!!...did you fall or that??..hehehehe.. ok lame i know.. just came up randomly.. I remember this part from "grown ups!" ..hehehe.. I assure you I'm very much feminine.. ssiighh.. You still don't get me??

Well, this is top secret k!.. I'm not suppose to share this with you.. but well, Paulo Coelho said, "You have to take risk..We will only understand the miracle of life..when we allow the unexpected to happen.."

That's why I'm doing I guess.. You know breaking all the rules..and follow your heart??
Gosh, I'm one sick, emo child aint I??..still don't believe me??..Check this here

After viewing forget whatever you read/saw/heard ...its suppose to be TOP SECRET!! much la.. hehehe..

Ok, I shall leave now!..


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Looking forward for 3rd sem

"You are the ache I feel in every song..."


Got so caught up with something else..that I actually abandon this piece of my life here.. ssiighh...

Well anyway, I went to UNI today.. No classes, just had to pay the fees.. Nothing changed. KTM was unusually on time. Nothing new here. Since its NOT on time all the time..

UCSI is still under construction. Don't let me start, I can never stop cursing.. Students increased though. Finance and records department was crowded.. I was on the que for 30 mins!!!.. Hawwtties increased too!.. ;p

And I have 1 good news and 1 bad news.. Lets talk about the good news first k?..don't ask me why.. it makes more sense when I tell you what it is..

The good news is... I have only 3 days classes!!..
The bad news is... I finish at 8pm on all three days..

Which if you ask me again, about my bad news.. I think I prefer it that way.. I know I'll be dead tired.. Just that, if I didn't take that particular subject that ends at 8pm..I'll have 5 days of rest..

Which means more onlining, facebooking, blogging.. more of wasting time.. more love. more hurt. more tears. more him..

Lol.. I mean ssiighhh... Now if only I can say what I really want to say..I would.. but I can't.

Not here at least.

Surprisingly, I'm actually looking forward to this sem.. No idea why..


I don't know what games you are playing with me.. but the last time I felt excited, I ended up in the ocean all alone. So please...No more surprises ok??.. I mean I like surprises. Just don't make it that big..that I have to pick myself up again, bandage my own wound, learn how to walk properly .. and live life normally. But, if you think I'm strong enough to go through it again... if your test doesn't end here.. then by all means. Because I know I wont be alone.. Because I know there's a reason.. Because I know that you wouldn't let me go through anything I can't..

May thy will be done!

Come everyone... say it with me.."Tomorrow is gonna be a good day!..Because I serve a great God !!"

Lol..Good day everyone!