Not so interesting

So I got the new phone today.. but why I am unhappy?!  Yes, I love the phone! ..Thanks to my dearest mom, you paid for it! ..;p

Dont ask how.. dont ask why.. because its pink in colour.. Not to say I HATE pink .. not to say I DISLIKE it either.. its well, I've stereotyped the colour pink into the feminity department.. the girl-girly type! lol ..And as you can see, I couldn't be bothered about my nails.. I would go to town in my faded shorts and age old t-shirt, with my glasses on, and my hair in a pony tail..because seriously, your opinion on my sense of fashion doesn't really matter to me.. and one shall be liked for the person they are..not for the clothes they wear.. and so I couldnt careless, about heels or skirts. And of all people, I have a pink phone. Well, guess I have to stop stereotyping then..

Hmph.. So why am I unhappy?! ..because... sigh.. Nope this blog is tooo public!.. but yes, I'm unhappy..and above all..I feel like throwing up! ..Geezz! ..don't tell me its food poisoning again.. I cant go through the 10 times throwing up non-stop and lying on the bed for 24 hours! ...ssiighhh..

Ok I shall go now! ..Sorry for the not-so-interesting post!

R.I.P Sony Ericsson J300i

Guess you've heard the news..=(( ..NOO? fine then.. with a broken heart..

This is to announce that Juan Margrita, has officially lost her Sony Ericsson J300i, which has remained faithful to her for the past 4 years. According to her, it was this cute little blue thing that could stand upside down without falling. It had scratches here and there. Yet, it was perfect. Unfortunately due her utter careless-ness while SHOPPING, her phone is now resting in peace. Amen!

Siiiigghhh.. yes you read that correctly! It was heart-breaking to to see it go away... even worse to know that the "careless-ness" is getting out of hand! =((

This is how it begin. Since my sister was busy with her final project, I was kind enough to volunteer myself to go and buy stuffs for the game for our JAMBOREE CAMP in church. And yes, in case you didn't know HFC will be having their 2nd JAMBOREE after 10 years for 400+ kids! ..grrr they had to have it right after we left catechism! sighh.. Well anyway, the youths are incharge of the games and praise and worship.

So I fetched my dad after work from KTM..and drop by MYDIN. My dad went to fill gas, while I went shopping for the stuffs. Felling like a SUPERWOMAN, I decided, "nahh..I don't need baskets or trolleys, my hands are strong enough!" ...

Yeap, I was soo very wrong. I mean I am strong enough and at the same time I'm careless.. which if you ask me, its better to be weak than to be careless..;p So here's what I had in my hand..

1. 3 packets of straw
2. A packet of rubber bands
3. 2 marker pens
4. A mural paint
5. 2 brooms
6. 50 pieces of mahjung paper rolled up
7. My bag

Yes, I carried all that in my hands.. and in between I had to call my sister whether is that what she wanted..or not. Then after getting all the stuffs I carefully went down the stairs..where everyone looked at me thinking, "What is wrong with this girl? Haven't she heard of something called basket, where it makes the world a lot easier??" ...Sighh.. Yes people, I've heard.. but sometimes I don't know why I do certain things that I myself find it very hard to explain..=(

So anyway, I went down to the cashier.. after paying.. I decided to call my dad to bring the car nearer.. cause a few kids looked at me and started laughing..maybe I reminded them of the witches from Harry Potter..planning to fly away on my broom stick..

And then I checked my pockets and bag.. and there I saw my world fell down into pieces.. I can't find my phone anywhere!! ..I was so frustrated that I actually opened my tiny wallet, hoping I might find it in there.. sigh.. But nope.. left the stuff with my dad.. and ran back to MYDIN.. searched high and low..up and down..and I swear I saw a cute guy checking me out..*ceeehh wahhh* ..But I couldn't be bothered! ..I just want back my phone!! ..grrrr..

Sighhhh.. so yeah.. that's how my dear phone is now resting in peace!

Its just that..I had so many memories with that phone.. seriously A LOT!! ..I mean yes, I would love to get a new phone.. but thats  not the way I wanted it! ..*sobs..sobs*

Yes bloggers, I'm in my mourning state now.. and incase you didnt receive any reply messages or phone call.. you now know why.. I shall reconnect back to the world..in erm...SOON! i hope so..

Seremban partay!

Goodness! What is wrong with people nowadays?! ..lol.. I mean I can't find anyone who enjoys a decent, humorous, intelligent chat! Seriously, I'm a "kaki chatting k" ...unfortunately, lately all I receive is a "hi" and "bye" chat.. my so-called "lame' jokes either leaves them blur or they get it the wrong way or they don't get it at all!! hmmm ..Wait, not all though.. mostly..=) but I really missed the excellent "chatting moments" I use to have with.. with..some of my friends..;( ..or could it be me.. Maybe I scare off people, they refuse to talk anything else other than "hi" ...haaizzz..

So anyway.. this post is on request! ;p
I'm sure by now you must be familiar with some of friends..=) And I do have some awesome-pawsome friends besides crystal and jacynta.. and yeap, these are the kinda friends who got you back and always will..no matter what! ..The ones who will help you when you are desperately clinging on a thread on the roof of a 20 storey high building.. Ok enough of the "I've-got-the-greatest-friend-alive" moments..

So yesterday was Sudha's birthday cum diwali celebration at her house in Seremban. And yes, normally all the house I visit are located all around Kajang. But this was the other corner of the world. To get there, I need to take the world's greatest transportation KTM and in the HOT-sun..I mean as it you saw the "fairness" of my skin eh? ..;p LOL.. sorry sorry.. I don't know why am I so long-winded today. Anyway back to my story.. its SUDHA people. Its either you get there..or she will sent a flight over to your house to fetch you! ..hehe.. but that's not the reason I went. It's because I can't possibly find another friend like her.. and also I wanted to meet her dog, BRUTUS..;p

KTM decided to betray me like nobody's business yesterday. I think it was pay back time..since  it was quite a while since I used KTM..because I waited for an hour! AN HOUR!! sighhh.. Yes I was close to jumping in front of the train.. perhaps if someone actually died, they would finally do something about it. But then again, why must a life be wasted for some useless transportation. I'd rather spare it for my friends..=)

Then Sudha sent over her LIMO.. to fetch us.. hehe.. I mean her brother fetched and then it was party time! ..Wait, before that it was DRESSING-UP time. Me, being me.. I took less than a minute to dress up. lol....yes, I'm telling the truth! ..Sarania and me was wondering.."will Sam and Lavinia come out by today" ..Trust me it was that looonngg! ..I don't blame them though.. its girls..what else can you expect..;p ..Don't expect much from me though..heheh

And then finally..it was PARTAY TIME!! ..We eat, talked..meet a few new friends.. and old ones.. we ate again..and of cause pictures..=) and when SUDHA is around..just be prepared to post even if your in the toilet..;p She can pose for hours!! ..XD ...

oh oh..and cupcakes!!! ....yes CUPCAKES! ..I tasted one.. and it brought back memories.. a lot of memories.. the kinda memories I wouldn't trade for any other.. All five of us were suppose to bake cupcakes in sam's house but ended up watching PARANORMAL ACTIVITY..and hugging each other..for the fear of that demon or monster would appear right in front of the screen! ..And then we baked..=) sighhh...

So perhaps sh!t happens..and nobody knows who's telling the truth, who's accusing who and who is it that is really hurting deep inside..Indeed relationships are broken.. We go on our separate ways..and take an oath to never look at that person's direction again..

But you cannot deny the fact.. that once upon a time.. we laughed together, we held hands, we joked, we talked, we enjoy the company of being together, we made fun, we skipped classes, we hugged.. and no matter what happens.. that is one memory you can't forget..though you want to.

I don't know whats my point.. but well.. it was on my mind for a long time..=)

And unlike Sudha, I'm extremely lazy for posting pictures on my blog.. so do take a look at my facebook profile for the picture..and please ignore the ones I looked bad in it! ..=)

P/S Sudha forgot to introduce me to her dog, BRUTUS!! ..argh!

30 random facts..hehe

And the badminton got cancelled..instead I helped my dad to change the punctured tire..and got myself smeared with black oil. It wasn't quite a story..till I accidentally rubbed my face with it! ..sighhhh...

So anyway, since I'm here in one piece..and feel like 50 year old..and there's another 30 mins for top chef to start..We shall all take a look at this! ..Hehehe..

Rules : Once you've been tagged you are supposed to write a note with 30 Random Things , facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 30 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you. Just quit the internal whining and do it. =)

Sarah tagged me...so why not..=)

1. I am a pure Indian.. though my name doesn't really portray it.. but trust me, the black hair, dark skin, long noes, big eyes, spicy food.. says it all.. =)


2. The one word people love to associate me with is BLUR ...but to be honest, I am really not that blurr.. though you are totally disagreeing with me now.. hehe..try having a heart-to-heart conversation with me.. and I might prove you wrong..;p which you might end up calling me weird..hmmm  


3. I love blogging.. I love reading blogs.. I love knowing what else is in someone's mind..besides their usual behaviour.. I love knowing why they do such things..or what interest them.. and I absolutely love stating why, and what I did. In other words..I simply love crapping.. like now..;p


4. Yes, like other normal people. I love music. Though I prefer singing compared to playing the piano or guitar.. I think music speaks the inner part you.. the real you..


5. I use to love the colour purple.. and I can't find a reason why.. maybe because, its full of sorrow, a bit dull, very mysterious.. like you have to peel the layers..to find out its true meaning..


6. I am very much single.. though I'm proud to say that I'm mentally dating a Taylor Lautner who has got no idea of my existence..;p


7. I have one sister, whom I treasure very much.. hehe.. you didn't think I'd say that rite?.. but seriously, without her, I wouldn't imagine how my life will be.


8. I have TWO BEST FRIENDS.. whom I would never trade in for anything, or anyone.. CRYSTAL LAVINYA (full name..;p) and JACYNTA JASMINE!! ..Love them to bits!


9. I'm totally a big fan of boy bands! ..yes, you heard me. BOY BANDS! ..hehe.. WESTLIFE, BSB, 98 DEGREE! .. why? because they are cute, they have amazing harmonization and the respect the women in all their songs! ..=)


10. You got to be kidding!! now only 10? ...argh..anyway moving on.. I adore kids!! ..though I agree the can be a real pain in the you-know-where.. but seriously, I am very much amazed on what goes on in the mind of a 6 year old!


11. I'm afraid of all animals.. yes ALL! ..even hamsters, I'm afraid I'll squash and break their bones. Cockroaches are a big NO-NO k..


12. I can't see blood. If I do, I'll nauseate and sweat like crazy.. and probably end up on the ground the next minute. One of the main reason why I failed to be a nurse.


13. I love the rain. I love the smell of rain. I love getting wet in the rain..when I'm in the right clothes that is. Something that is not white, or heels and jeans!


14.Speaking of clothes. I'm not a big fan of skirts and dresses. The only time you see me wearing a skirt or dress are the days where I have presentation. Or else its JEANS all the way baby!! .. lol.. 


15. Heels are not my type either.. Flats, sport shoes, flip flops.. now your talking my language.. But as you can see the length of my height..hence I decided that wedges are not that bad either..=) Ok now you must be thinking, "maybe she's a guy deep inside!" ..hehehe.. its called COMFORTABLE.. and if your not comfortable with what your wearing.. might as well wear nothing! ..;p


16. I am very careless.. In the past 2 years, I have lost a hand phone, a pen drive, 2 MP3 players (One of it I accidentally put for a wash in the washing machine!), 2 touch n' go cards, a citizen chain silver watch. So please, you might wanna think twice before handing me your valuables...=) 


17. I fall easily. Yes, very very easily. I am talking literally. Absolutely clumsy! ..Tripped from the chair, fell from stairs, fell down straight-front, fell down while running, dropped the whole load of books, spill the drink, broke glasses, hurt myself! ..yikes..


18. And I fall easily too. Not literally this time. But yes, I do. I really do..sighhh.. a weakness which is yet to be undone!


19. I am not a cheese person..unless its from secret recipe! ;p


20. Buy me a chocolate indulgence..and we can have another date! ..hehehe..;p ;p 


21. I don't drink coffee, I don't drink tea, I hate milo but am forced too because my mom says "You're a growing child, you need to have some milk for calcium".. and those are her exact words.. lol. I don't drink milk by the way..Unless its with coco crunch or honey stars..=)


22. I can be very very romantic..with the right person.. that is! ...ceeehh waaahh.. *syok sendiri!* ..;p


23. I use to write poems.. but I stopped.. and I never knew why.


24. Come around with your guitar..and I'll fall head over heels. It aint a joke! ..I have something for guys with guitar..


25. And someday..I'm gonna ride a HARLEY DAVIDSON.. with my long red hair and a knee high boots! ..someday..


26. I love HORSES!! ..weeeeee!! .. not that cause I was born on the year of a horse.. but well they fascinate me, just like that!


27. Recently everyone hates me for one common thing. According to them its taking me an hour to reply their messages. Today Crystal suggested that I threw my phone away and Jacynta refused to speak to me cause I didn't reply her messages. sighhhhh.. its either I'm so caught up with things or my handphone decides to betray me! ..grrrr!!


28. I hurt easily. As easy as I fall. And when I do, it'll take me ages to find myself back again.


29. I admit that I'm very very ego-istic! ... Yup, the lady is filled with pride, which is a BAD-BAD thing.. But I'll change! ..I will...


30. I cry easily too.. Movies, songs, short clips, poems.. lol.. I could cry all night.. I could cry all day.. 

Oh great... when its already 30.. then I'm getting idea's on what to write about me.. one last one.. I'm vain! ..hehe ..very very vain. I don't know about you.. but for me, vanity is a gift. You get to feel good about yourself! .. and your not afraid of it..hehehe..but of cause..too much of something is not good.. So humility is even much much bigger than vanity!

Moral of the story.. don't let anyone bring you down..

There! ..Mission accomplish! hehehe..if you manage to complete reading till 30, I salute you..truly! for taking your time and hearing my nonsense! ..TRIMA KASIH!

P/s tomorrow's gonna be an awesome day in Sudha's place! .=)

Busy this..busy that..

Hellloo!! ..hehehe.. I know I know..been missing for a while.. and these are the reasons why..:

• Busy saying goodbye to my tuition students as that TUESDAY was their last day of class! ..sighhhh.. 
• Busy making egg sandwhiches on Tuesday night for Wednesday's captain ball game in church.. Unfortunately, I was too depressed..that it didn't turn out that well..=(
• Busy taking care of Bernadette as well..and she can be quite hmm..a gift at times..;p
• Busy playing and sweating and having FUN on Wednesday during our Sports Awakening..and ended feeling like an 80 year old. SIIGHHH.. seriously, the whole body was aching! and still is..
• Busy going for HARRY POTTER on Wednesday night with stal, shas and joe. Indeed, Harry Potter caught my attention again..after failing to do so in the 5th and 6th movie! ..But seriously the 7th is a MUST WATCH! ..can't wait for PART 2!! ..
• Busy celebrating SUDHA'S Birthday on Thursday in Delicious, Mid Valley.. Happy Birthday hun! ..muaxxx
• Sister Lourdes, one of my mom's closest friend passed away on Thursday.. So drove all the way to Sri Gombak to pay my last respect. By the time I came back..I was nearly dying.. ;p
• Friday finalllyy... a free day for me to relax and have some time for myself..=)

So what did I do today? ..Other than getting up at 10am, playing farmville.. Lol.. don't ask me why!! ...It happens when you're dead bored at home.. at least having to harvest my crops and milk my animals.. keeps me useful a bit! ..hehe.. Had an argument with my sister. Somehow I wished I was the only child. pfftt.. and yes, she can be such a pain sometimes.. I agree I can be one too.. but she's a bigger pain! ..lol.. and after Mis Tres Hermanas.. which was such a D-R-A-M-A today..lol.. then I watched Shutter Island.

WOW!! It really got me glued to the monitor! ..It was one heck of a movie, not the usual chick flick or drama queen. It was reality, unpredictability, suspense, logic..like you have to pay attention to every detail of the movie. Seriously, the story line and the acting was so amazingly superb that at one point it got me thinking.."Gee, maybe I'm the one who's going insane!" ..LOL..you should really watch because its all about SANITY! ..hehe I didn't like the ending though.. But then again..that is life.. and life doesn't revolve around happily-ever-after.. and not everyone can write their own story.

Grab a CD of SHUTTER ISLAND eh! ..So much worth it..compared to all the lousy movies I've watched.. And its not because LEONARDO DICAPRIO's acting in it.. but well.. his acting was unbeatable k! ..it all started from TITANIC.. but lets not start with TITANIC.. I would need a bucket to fill my tears in. LOL..

So anyways.. I  have a badminton date now! LOL... just pray I'll be in one piece and don't feel like 100 years later at night.. so that I can write another post! ..=)

Are you really happy?

And just when I thought I finally got everything back on track.. someone reminded me.. that I wasn't even close to anything.. And this was the question asked, "Juan, what makes you happy? What is it that makes you smile or feel good or just content with life?" ...

Ever wondered what is it that makes you happy? I mean..yessss I love chocolates.. love to be buried in them.. I love music too.. I don't how the world would be, without music.. I love clothes, and shoes..flowers.. like every other normal girl.. But then again, the question was.. Juan, What makes you happy? ..What makes you, YOU??! ..

And yes... I manage give him answer... which I myself am not sure.. did I really answer his question.. or just for the sake of giving an answer..hmmmm

So let's go back to the core of the question.. LOL.. sorry, I realized that I needed to to post something intelligent on my blog..to prevent people from questioning me,..."Juan, are you alrite?"! ..hehehe..

Anyway.. what is happiness?? Is it because you have all the things you like in this world.. so that makes you very very happy.. or could it be..because you've accomplish something or maybe surrounded by your loved ones itself makes you happy..?

I think we all have our very own opinion on happiness.. But if you ask me..happiness is the feeling you received when someone loves you...just the way you are. hehehe..Ok, how in the world..does that makes you happy..

Like when you've got the worst result ever.. and your mom looks at you and say.. "A or B or C ...you're my daughter.. and because of that I love you" ....

Like when you've hurt your friend..over and over... and she looks at you and say.. "Who could ever replace you.. guess I'll have to forgive you..again.."

Like when you just got dumped.. and Your best friend gives you a hug and say.. "That dude must be a gay..and don't worry I am always here.."

Like when you just tripped in front of the whole cafeteria..and the whole crowd laughs at you.. and your boyfriend runs over too you..and help you out..and say.. "Your still the most beautiful woman alive though you're covered in chicken soup.."

Like when you just lost everything else in life.. Your family, friends, home, everything.. and you've lost hope in life.. and on the verge on dying.. you look up to heaven and ask, "Lord have you forgotten me??!" ..

And you feel the breeze.. the wind blowing.. you hear a voice in your head.. "I was there.. I am here now.. and I will always be by your side.. You are never alone my child. I stand here knocking at your door.. waiting for you to invite me.. I long so much to spend time with you.. to guide..to comfort..to help you in every storm of this life.. Can a mother forget the child of her womb? ..even if this happens I would not forget you.. see I've carved your name on the palm of my hand.. I love you. You are mine.. And for you I have laid down my life.. and I will gladly do it..over and over again..if you give me the chance.."

And that is not happiness.. It is JOY.. happiness may not last.. but Joy is everlasting..

And if you have nothing else to do.. take a look at this song.. it's a story about a lost girl..kinda related to me.. might relate to you tooo.. very very inspiring=) or if you feel very far from God.. take a look at the lyrics..

YOU ARE MORE-tenth north avenue..

There's a girl in the corner

With tear stains on her eyes

From the places she's wandered

And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?

I'm not who I once was.

And I'm crippled by the fear

That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,

What's been done for you?

Yeah don't you know who you are?

CHORUS

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it

That she's been given new life

But she can't shake the feeling

That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers

And she's rehearsed all the lines

And so she'll try to do better

But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

CHORUS

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

BRIDGE

'Cause this is not about what you've done,

But what's been done for you.

This is not about where you've been,

But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,

But what He felt to forgive you,

And what He felt to make you loved.

CHORUS

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

You've been remade

You've been remade.

You've been remade.

You've been remade.

I think its awesome!! ....weeeeee!! tenth north avenue.. You guys never fail to impress me!!

Ridiculous, yet incredible..

"Things in the past.. things yet unseen.. wishes and dreams that are yet to come true.. all of my hopes.. all of my plans.. my heart and my hands.. are lifted to you.."

Ever realized how ridiculous the world seemed these days?

• UCSI timetable is totally ridiculous!! ...all the subjects are clashing!! .. argh.. Seriously, I don't know how they're managing..sigh..
• The weather is ridiculous! ..One minute is as cold as if its snowing.. the next you're barbecuing!
• FB's ridiculous too.. you don't know the person..but you know their story.. Just one game..and you're addicted to it like its your personal brand of heroin..lol
• MSN is very ridiculous.. cause when you cry..its :'( and when you laugh..its LOL.. and you if you asked me..that is totally ridiculous.. what is crying without tears.. what is laughter without noise?
• Music is ridiculous too..when BRUNO MARS comes up with this kinda lyrics..
  I’d catch a grenade for ya
  Throw my hand on a blade for ya
  I’d jump in front of a train for ya
  You know I’d do anything for ya
  I would go through all this pain,Take a bullet straight through my brain

Jump in front of a train??! come on!!...like cheryl mentioned.. something more real..would help! =)

• Malaysian politics is way, waayyy out of hand..when they decided to build a 100 storey mega tower! ...Oh come on.. the PTPTN system is screwed up, they're are still people living in poverty..and you wanna go around the world building towers.. get real people ..get.real!
• Friends could be really ridiculous.. when they use you..to feel good about themselves. And this could leave a deep scar..sigh...
• Blogging can be ridiculous too.. apparently it became a tool to hurt others..when it is suppose to tell your story..not other's story ...which doesn't give you the right to judge, criticize or condemn others..
• The only time TUMBLR is ridiculous..is when they say, "WE'LL BE BACK SHORTLY!!" ..grrr..
• Movies like REPO MAN are so very very ridiculous.. how could you cut open a human and take their organ as a replacement for their debt...ridiculous rite?
• Girls can be ridiculous too... when the tend to live for a guy..or cant live without guys! ..When all they do is gossip and gossip and gossip...and they are never satisfied! Do take a look at yourself..before you shoot others..=)
• Guys are definitely ridiculous tooo.. because they have MOOD SWINGS.. male PMS ...one minute they're all over you..and the next.. your invisible to them.
• Relationships these days,..are probably the most ridiculous thing ever.. you can't be a couple of few days or weeks of knowing each other.. that's not even knowing..its called flirting! ..why are you such in a rush anyway? ..trust me, the world is not gonna end 2012.. I can guarantee you that..Why? because this world needs a lot of HEALING ...and till that happens.. it wont end!
• Love is ridiculous.. because though you know the persons true colours.. you still cant get him out of your mind..
• Family could be ridiculous too.. when they are with you..but it doesnt feel like a family anymore..
• I am ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.. because I ...sigh.. I failed to see that beyond all the ridiculous-ness.. there is massive incredibility!

The whole world and everything in it is incredible..

That you should count your blessings not your failures..

that there is 2 sides of a coin..

that when the world gives you a 100 reasons to cry..show them you have 1000 reasons to smile..

But of cause.. when we put ourselves first, when we become selfish.. when we ignore others feelings and thoughts.. that's when we become.. totally ridiculous!!

God can be ridiculous too.. hehe.. He makes you go through stormy weather, floody area, darkest night..and then He sweeps you off your feet and make you smile like you never did!..just like that.. ridiculous.. yet INCREDIBLE!

To care..or not!

Ok, since Pinky claimed to be the "peminat setia" of my blog..and her concern about me NOT BLOGGING..made me wanna blog..hehe

Truth is..I'm dying la k! ...and your not gonna believe me are you?! ..hehhehe.. hmm.. and this post is going be very very emotional. So if you dislike a girl, wetting her pillow with tears..ranting her lungs out, "SOMEBODY SAVE ME, PLEASEEE!!" ...or threatening to run down anyone who questions her, "why are you such a baby?!" with a tractor.. then please do not proceed any further in reading this post!..=) ..and I meant that in the nicest possible way...

Sighhhh...its just one of those days.. where you have this stupid feeling..that says your gonna die alone.. like your surrounded by many... but nobody ever asked you the question, "you dont seem ok, is everything alright?" ... because no one would have ever guessed, "what could possibly trouble a 20 year old girl with that huge smile.." like all you ever wanted was someone who sees the world through your eyes..

And trust me.. there is a lot of things running through a girl's mind.. quiet or noisy..there is a lot! You think she doesnt know..she knows.. You thinks she doesn't care..she cared more than you can ever imagine.. You think you know it all..nope, wrong again! ..She knows it all..;p ;p

And sometimes being a girl..seems like the most hardest thing on earth! ..why?? ...because it kills you when even the slightest thing that seem "ok" to the rest..can slice your heart until it is disfigured. Apparently, being a guy seem to be a lot easier.. they keep their problems to themselves..and have that "I-DONT-CARE" feeling.. God knows, if they really care..or not.. but its a lot easier.. when you choose to not care..

You know what else hurts the most? ..That when the person closest to you..choose to not care..

Sigh..and this time, its her very own mother.

It took me 15 minutes to find a title..and I can't think of any..;p

Ok seriously... it's so weird cause somehow the world PAY's FULL ATTENTION to that one minute you choose to make a fool out of yourself...

Because I had the most number of visitors yesterday... the one post where i literally had a conversation with myself! ..pffffttt!!

Anyway..please do not mind my previous post entitled "because its hard being me".. I was just having a crisis within me.. and to make myself feel good..I'm going to say... sometimes you have to feel weird..to feel human again!

So i started marking my catechism students test paper today.. and goodness..I could really strangle each one of them.. for God knows how many times I've repeated that particular question!! ... But seriously..Now I know how it feels to be the ones staying up all night..wondering could it be that they too were admiring their crush..while I was out there in front shouting my lungs out??

Ok I admit.. I daydreamed too..about how that "cute" guy's hair looked from the back since I was sitting behind him.. and if I could just slide my fingers through the strands of his hair, WAAAHHH!! lol..*drama a bit*..whenever my teacher was teaching..but seriously I listened!! ..I really listened k! ..sighh..kids these days..

So basically the day was rather boring and predictable.. I watched another movie called HOW TO LOOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS!! ..And I liked it!! ..and yes it was predictable.. but I like it somehow.. for no particular reason..and not because that girl has a masters in journalism..or that guy has 6 packs worthy dying for.. hmm I learned something though.. that you can't plan how you fall in love..or with who you want to fall.. but you just fall.. no explanation need!

And since some of my friends posted something from tumblr on their blog..i want to do the same too!! ...hehehe.. and this is exactly what is on my mind.. wow!! i love what it says!!

And one more thing..I don't know if I've ever mentioned this.. but TUMBLR ROCKS!!! ...like seriously!! ...lol..and here's something else from tumblr..

But its actually from the movie 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU.. The movie was rather predictable..a typical teen romantic comedy.. but well..the part when the girl read this poem out laud..I teared..

I hate the way you talk to me..

And the way you cut your hair..

I hate the way you drive my car..

I hate it when you stare..

I hate your big dumb combat boots

And the way you read my mind..

I hate you so much, it makes me sick..

It even makes me rhyme..

I hate the way you're always right,

I hate it when you lie..

I hate it when you make me laugh..

Even worse when you make me cry..

I hate it when you're not around..

And the fact that you didn't call..

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you..

Not even close,

Not even a little bit..

Not even at all..

Because its hard being me..

Anndddd... she's back again!!!.. or at least for now! ..;p ;p ;p..

Firstly...HAPPY DEEEPAVAALII, dear bloggers!!! ...Hope it was as great for..as it was for me!..hehehe.. Oh yessssh it was!!

Roaming around kajang..in my lovely kurti..with the sweat dripping on my powdered face.. it was all worth it! ..and yes.. almost every..I repeat EVERY INDIAN HOUSE had this on their menu.. CHICKEN CURRY/SAMBAL, MUTTON VARUVAL, ANY KIND OF VEGE AND COLOURED OR GHEEE RICE! ..but hey.. how could you ever resist FOOOODDD?.. especially when its to die for? ..Healthy eating, diet..all goes down the drain! ..and yessh, cookies!! ..Muruku, achi muruku, and the rest..I have got no idea how to spell.. but I'm sure you know it!! hehe..

Ok.. lets not make this another food blog k.. since all my past two post was about fooooooddd! ..But seriously, I just wanna say that your missing a minute in heaven the moment you refuse foooddd cause you think your getting FAT! ..hehehe;p ;p

So anyway.. lets talk about the usual..

Hows life?..hmm.. Hows mine? .. I have no what-so-ever idea.. Its like I'm stranded on top of a tree.. a 50 feet high tree...with no leaves.. and the rain is giving me chillss!! ...When the sun is up.. I can barely look up cause its soooo veryyy glaring!..siighh And here's the best part.. I see an eagle flying.. near to me.. A cruel, villain-looking eagle..that is more than willing to taste your flesh.. or perhaps its wondering the same question..I am asking too.. "What in the world are you doing, stuck in a tree??!" ..

Sighhhh..

Me: What are you doing??

Juan: I have no idea....

Me: What are you planning to do?!

Juan: Excuse me, if I knew, whyy would I be stuck in a tree??!

Me: Because..only a fool like you..would choose to be stuck on a tree...and not try to set yourself free...;p

Juan: Haizzz... why do you have to be right...always?!

Me: I am not.. the thing is.. you already know what is right.. but you refuse to believe that is the right thing..till someone tells it to your FACE!

Juan: ...grrrr..

Me: I am right again huh??

Juan: sighhh..yess..=(

Me: and by the way... you're messed up!

Juan: ...really?? is it kinda obvious??

Me: You just typed a whole conversation with yourself...;p

And that is the perfect example of what your NOT suppose to BE or DO! ..it is only allowed for Juan Margrita! .. Because sometimes.. its hard being me! ..sigh..

No more questions will be entertained!.. Thank you

Cook, cooking, cooked!! ..;p

Hungryyyyyy ...so very hungry!!

Lately, I've been following TOP CHEF! ..It's something like amazing race, the biggest loser and the Fashion! ..lol.. Don't blame me k! The holidays are driving me nuts.. I'm experiencing something physics would call "Free fall" ...hehe.. there's no commitments.. no assignments, no exams.. no travelling daily.. no good guys to check out! ..Arghh... So that's why you will see me watching these reality shows.. and all nonsense I can find! ..hehe..

So back to TOP CHEF! ... the food they cook.. its like I could smell it right outside the screen! ...I had to eat something!! ..So I semangatly went to the kitchen to find something to eat.. and I spotted the daymm flying cockroach!!! ..AARRGHH!! ... nuisance!!...instead of getting into a fight with that "gross" thing..and waking up the whole neighborhood..So I quietly switched off the light and tried to shrink the intense hunger! ..But of cause it never had worked..never will work! ..aarghh!

And by the way.. I love watching cooking programs! ..Not to say, I'm a good cook! .. lol.. and YES, I do cook! ..You can completely trust me with the kitchen.. but the food.. hmm.. a bit hard, considering the fact that I put in one scoop of salt instead of sugar in Ms' Goh, my piano teacher's cup of tea.. sigh.. you might wanna think twice!..=) .. But yes, my passion does not lie in cooking.. but as long as the food is edible, I guarantee that you wouldn't end up in the hospital! ..maybe a slight food poisoning..;p ;p ;p ...heheheh..

So I found this interesting quote in tumblr..

People give up easily.. Sometimes we walk away from the person we're meant to be with!.. Maybe that's why God made the world round..so that if two people, destined to be with each other..decide to go opposite directions.. At one point of the earth.. they will meet-AGAIN! ..

Damm cekap rite?? ..I wonder how they come up with these kinda quotes.. it made sense.. and it sent shiver all over!..hmm

And tomorrow... just another day.. like any other..

Argh. I have to be kidding!

Lord, my tomorrow is in your hands!

AMEN!

delusional, depressed and dangerous..

No, you dont wanna mess with me now.. and neither do I have anything in mind to blog about.

Hmmmm.. seriously I can't think of any.. but there must be a reason why I decided to blog a post today!

What else.. come on! ..Think Juan! ...hmm..Though your suppose to be in bed already considering the fact..that you have to get up at 6AM! ..argghh!

Hmmm.. and oh oh..I just had one of the most tastiest KIT-KAT CARAMEL CHOCOLATE ever!! ... ohh noo.. Its chocolate again.. and after much research for psychology.. no one ever knew whether depressed people eats chocolate.. or could it be that chocolate causes depression?! ..Either way, why does the best food have to come with something bad as well? and yeah, I'm feeling depressed! ..arghh.. why is it always me?!

Like I had the most tastiest ROTI CANAI today with PAM! ..and a nice chat as well! ..She's one person you can go on talking and talking! ..One hour passed by like a minute k!..and btw the amount of oil in the Roti Canai, could cause someone's death! ..Somehow God decided He's not finished with me..so I survived today's breakfast! ..Hmm.. and nasi lemak.. char kuey teow! ..pisang goreng.. sssiiighhh.. And lately I kononnya became a healthy eater.. except today la.. No oil, no fat, no sugar!.. Aarghh.. why? ..I dont know.. but they all said I lost weight! ..weeeee!! .. but that's because I start skipping meals!..siighh.. no appetite..so you can't possibly force the food down your throat rite?.. sighhh..

That's life huh? ...You can't have all the best moments.. unless it comes along with something bad.. You need both sun and rain..to see the rainbow..

Ok when I was writing this.. I was very delusional and depressed.. possibly dangerous..cause I pressed the keyboard so damm hard..that it went in! ..ARRGHH.... I had a lot of things running of my mind...

But well, thanks for dropping by..to hear about my critics..on MALAYSIAN FOOD! ..but you have to agree, there's no where in the world that could come close to Malaysia's food!! ..Tasty and dangerous! ..Hmmm..

I promise you something intelligent next time..

Family, friends, feelings..;p ;p

Aiyaiyai!! ..I think my voice is gonna sound very very sexy..SOON! ..Soar throat crawling in my nerves again!! =(((

So what shall we talk about today? ..Family? ..Friends? ..Feelings? ;p ;p ;p

Hmmm.. Lets start with family.. I really really miss how I use to joke and laugh with my grandma..!! ..But lately, after a year in London.. she's changed!! .. She keep on asking me the same question!! .. sigghh.. And what's gonna happen like a year or two from now..?? Sigghh..

I had a great time with my cousins today.. though I'm always their NUMBER VICTIM.. of being bullied.. I felt this weird sense of joy.. LOL.. not the part where I got bullied.. but the part where they somehow come together to-do whatever it takes to make fun of me! And they will all burst out laughing when I give my "You-dont-wanna-mess-with-me" look!..hehehe.. Totally mean you say! ..But I'll let you know what I think! .. It simply means I make the place a fun, brighter and better place! ..hehe.. See, even being bullied has an advantage! .. It all depends on how you think!! .. But please k, that doesn't mean you are allowed to make fun of me all the time!..=)

Friends.. I experienced them today too.. At the post-morterm meeting regarding our camp!! .. Seriously, if at all your feeling lonely, just take a look all around you! ..It's filled with people!! ..Though they have no idea what troubles you may face.. but the fact they can make you roll on the floor laughing you guts out.. simply means, "Hey, you can always count on me!" ... I'm not sure about you.. but if I were caught in fire all alone, I dare take a bet that all of them will jump right in to save me! .. No, not because they can't live without me.. but simply because, "You are my friend!" .. And these friends I'm talking about are HFC Committee members! ..and you know, the camp really brought us all together, though the food sucked, though the venue was close to a refugee camp! .. And I thank God for all of you!

Feelings.. hmm.. If you can see my face right now.. You can see a BIG QUESTION mark there.. Not that I don't have any.. I'm just well.. slightly confused.. Its just that.. sometimes when you've had enough of it.. your heart can't feel any more.. Like a wall that has been built. You try your best to NOT feel anything.. where in fact you might feel something.. but the fact that you've built a wall there.. makes you think, that you're incapable of feeling any of this feelings..

Ok, so you don;t really get what I;m trying to say? ..No worries, I have no idea what I crapped a while ago.. but the bottom line is, will you stay long enough to break that wall and drive me crazy? .. LOL .. that is just a random question.. don;t bother! ;p ;p

Lastly, from tumblr..

“I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporar

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said…Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.”