Friday, July 31, 2009

the broken heart

Its been ages since i last time!! like seriously!! sleep also not enough.. the other night i slep at up at 5.30AM.. yeap..those killer assignments were born to destroy my life...sobs sobs... and u know something?? Im still not done with it yet!! sigh...just found some interesting pics in facebook..hehehe..i like it!! i just idea why..and nope..i am so thru being emo!! lol.. the way the picture is simply beautiful..=)

hehe..i know..lame.. but i like it!!

bye for now..
take care god bless

Monday, July 27, 2009

if you're not the one

this song thought me a lot.and after a really long time..i heard it again today.. the meaning still stays the same..the words have exceeded from what they say 'beautiful'

If you're not one~Daniel Beddingfield

If you’re not the one, then why does my soul feel glad, today?
If you’re not the one, then why does my hand fit yours, this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return, my call
If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand, at all

I'll never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me, then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me, then why do I dream of you as the one?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

sign...i'm having my sociology presentation tomorrow...have to dress up in formal attire which is soo not my cup of tea...and talking crap in front off a bunch of students..lets just hope..i can hold my breath and wait till its all over..then i throw up!!..sigh...

take care..and will my luck!!..wait..i dont need luck.. just wish me the best!! god bless!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

everything happens for a reason

hiiii!! =) ...sigh..
To my dearest blogy, I abandon you for a long time d..*sobs..sobs* no one came and visited you huh sayang??..sorry ar, baby next time I'll try not to go away for a long long time... Don't be sad k??..=) I love you soo much!!..=p

hehehe...I, Juan Margrita Gabriel, hereby declare that I am officially in a relationship with my BLOG!!! ..=) hmmm..maybe I should change his *skin* that 'he' can look more 'MANLY'!!..=P..hehe...but he's perfect..always there..whether or not I need him..and he understands me perfectly...another thing..i am so damm sure..HE WON'T LEAVE ME, not even if I left him!!..=D

Well..i finally watched 'DRAG ME TO HELL!!' ...right after my exam which i SCREWED UP TOTALLY!!!i mean no difference..i usually screw up all my papers..hehehe..but this was MEGA-SCREWING!! sigh ..i don't think i even deserve a break from stress after what I crapped in that paper... but anyway..i love watching horror films..and here's the best part.. the moment the monster..or the ghost..or whatever you call it comes out..hehehe...i'll close my eyes..with my fingers!!..hehe..yeah what's the point of watching right??..lolz..i kinda like the thrill..hehehe..

anyway..yesterday, was St anne's feast.. my whole family was suppose to go to St anne's church in Port Klang..every year..we try our best!! =) I had class yesterday...hehe...8-10!! and i finally have DINER DASH and COUNTER STRIKE!!! in my la... finals only these ppl must transfer..heheeh..

back to my story..i came back home..and suddenly my mom called and said..sis aint coming..she was still in bangsar attending a meeting for HFC's YOUTH CAMP!! weeeee!! cant wait..=) and my dad was as usual taking his afternoon nap... so my mom said..she's taking the train by herself..and it's up to me..whether I wanna come or not..

I got up 6.30am this morning..and slept pretty late last nite.. as usual I public transport..and since a weekend..the train was even more crowded..haizz.. And as I have mentioned.. I am in need of SLEEP!! ... sleeping in lectures aint doing good enough..=p

I was thinking, do I seriously wanna go in that HOT SUN..all dressed up.. *i was planning to wear a dress and heels* ...get all that crowded 2 hour port klang..have my mom next to me..*i wasn't really in a good relationship with her..for the past days..* when I could actually have my beauty sleep at long as i want *since my mom aint goin to be there* my own room...on my precious bed??

Have you ever heard God speaking to you??..NO?? ..well, sometimes..if at all you have this instinct that's telling you to do might as well wanna follow matter how crazy it may never know..what you'll be missing.. and YES I am soo grateful that I missed my beauty sleep, went through that crowded disaster in the train, got all sweaty and oily, and followed that 'voice' in me..for I experienced something that I cant possible experience some where else..=)

But I did a mistake..sigh..I had another insticnt..which I chose not to follow.. Yes, i am regretting it now!! ...

We reached Port klang 1 hour before mass started..hoping to get a good seat..and guess what??!! THE CHURCH WAS PACK!! outside was pack too..=( so we sat outside..the second part ...directly in front of the sanctuary.. it wasn't that bad.. everywhere I looked, there must be someone catching my eyes..gosh THEY WERE TOTALLY ADORABLY CUTE!! yeah..i am talking bout the guys..=p..but of cause..i was invisible..they didn't even glance at me!!'s like i do not exist..haha..who's their lost..they don't know what they'll be missing..=p..
anyway that's not what i experience..

The priest..was Fr SIMON PEREIRA from Singapore.. and I'm telling you..his sermon's was an eye-opener to was the best.. I thought I will be sleeping..or dreaming..for sure..during sermon..but this time..i didn't take my ears off even for a minute..yeah it was that awesome!! I don't mind coming to Klang every weekend for mass..just to listen to him..but unfortunately he'll be leaving to singapore.. he is really gifted..with the gift of prophesying..

His sermon was mostly for the youths..and he talked bout the miracles of prayer.. he was telling about this 18 year old guy..who had cancer.. and he was very prayful.. and that the moment of his death..and hour before it..he told the priest..'I'm afraid to die'...and Fr simon asked him..'do you pray the rosary??"..the boy nodded his head..and fr replied..'do you know..every time you say the have already asked Mother Mary..TO PRAY FOR US SINNERS, NOW AND AT THE HOUR OF OUR DEATH" ....I was like wow..i never realized that.. and so this boy told his parents..'I am not afraid to die...and for my funeral..please don't put 'NEARER MY GOD' song..or any other sad songs.. and please don't where black either!!..

Impressive huh??...a prayer that has been programmed in our heads..since they day we where born..*the rosary*..but when you mean what you say..and realize what it really can change you life..=)

He was also preaching about the verse..which I use to cling on to..a verse which I almost forgotten..a verse that is able to change my world..from where I was... a verse that makes me believe in hoping and trusting..a verse that strengthens matter how broken i was.. a verse that was inclined in me..the day i heard it..a verse said to me, by a very good friend of mine.. and i thank him for that..=)


It tells me..that everything happens to me is for my very own good... yes, EVERYTHING!! It's alright..if it all falls apart...IT'S ALRIGHT!! ..Cast all you worries upon HIM..and do your best it.. THAT;S IT!! why is it soooo dammm hard for it to get in my head!!! ...sigh..

Anyway..that was basically it..and then during the time where we were suppose to give peace.. fr said..'turn to you family members..and give them a big hug and kiss' ...i was like..ooppss... i wasn't really in good terms with my see.. but of cause.. she hugged and kissed me..and i almost teared..=) amazing..what a simple hug and kiss..wrapped in love..can do..=)

After that we had procession...around the town... By the time we reached the station..a train just we had to wait for the 10.35pm train.. and in the train..i was listening to and closing my lenses was too dry cause of the air-cond..and there was this guy.. a hindu..who attended the feast as well..cause his mom asked him too..

My mom then started thing i admire in her..and i wish to inherit it as her faith..and it was that faith..that brought me who i am today..=) I hope that guy will be baptize someday..

And when we reached KL SENTRAL...the last train to seremban is GONEEE!! mom was like..'we should have taken the earlier train from klang"... i laughed and said.."look at the brighter said..if you've taken the earlier wouldn't be able to talk about Jesus to that guy just now..of cause at least 1 of the things you said..would have gotten into him.." ..=)

and so my sis was lol-ing like crazy..when we told her..she and my dad drove all the way to KL to fetch us.. and went for supper... by the time we came was 2...and i went straight to bed..=)

hehehe..that's a long post..take care...god bless..i should get back to my assignments..=)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I'm human..=p

It's been ages since I last blogged from UTAR ICT...well I do not intend to..but situations are forcing me to do so...oh CRAP!! big time situation Im having..lolz..actaully i am la.. these damm assignments are causing me to prepare for my own FUNERAL!! its already week 8!! assignment due week 9 and 10!! all..except for BUSINESS on week 11..and I still have my last mid term paper tomorow!!..and we've barely started any!!..oh NOOO!! ...

Why does this always happens to me?? Thought of managing my time better this sem..but it only became worse!!..sigh..have class in 20 mins time.. and I got part of my mid term marks.. which adds up to the thought of SERIOUSLY PREPARING for my funeral!!..=(

Could have started earlier..but with mid terms..and wedding..and plays..and this and that.. being EMO!! ..useless facebook distrations..GEMPAK MOVIES ON THEATER!!..CRAZY FRIENDS!! in the world can anyone let the crappish assignment come in the way man?? hahaha..thats the problem with human... They know what is their problem..but they dont wanna solve it..and then COMPLAIN!! ..just like what Im doin..well, i cant help it..I'm human as well you know..=p lol..

Ok enough oh crapz..and complaints..

tilll we meet again..(which i have no idea when!!) but asap..

something to ponder..=)

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do..
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.....
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need

But at last the time, the time to die
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
'Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time'

If you look at what you do not have in life,

you don't have anything,
If you look at what you have in life, you have


If God brings you to it, He will bring you

through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God..
Quiet moments, worship God...
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Monday, July 20, 2009

She's back!!..=)

weeeeeeeeeeee!! JACYNTA JASMINE IS BACK!!! hehehe... I can't believe it!! hehe.. ok.. *calm down JUAN!! ..btw..jacynta the sweetest person I've met!! who's she??..MY BESTIe!! she and CRYSTAL!! ..jacynta was on a holiday in KOREA!! for one freaking long month!! ..can you believe it??..and the phone totaly outdated!! as in you are allowed to write only 80 characters in 1 message..and it was SOOOO FRUSTRATING!!... I finally talked to her..and wow.. hahaha...i feel so light!! i know..kinda weird!! ..i cant help..i got to tell someone!!..weeee.. can't wait to meet her!!..=D... 1001 stories to tell and talk..and laugh!!..weeee!! ..ok i should stop it now!!

sorry..sooo soo excited!!..=D

anyway..hehe..i better get back to studying web page!!..=(

Sunday, July 19, 2009

my hero??..yea rite!!..=p

Sometimes I think I have to pay for someone to say this to me..=p

HERO-enrique iglesias

Would you dance..if I asked you to dance..
Would you run..and never look back..
Would you cry..if you saw me crying..
And would you save my soul, tonight..?

Would you tremble..if I touched your lips..
Would you laugh..oh please tell me this..
Now would you die..for the one you love..
Hold me in your arms..tonight..

I can be your hero baby..
I can kiss away the pain..
I will stand by you forever..
You can breath away..

Would you swear..that you'll always be mine..
Or would you lie?..would you run and hide..
Am I too deep..? Have I lost my mind..
I don't care you're here tonight..

I can be your hero baby..
I can kiss away the pain..
I will stand by you forever..
You can breath away..

Oh, I just wanna hold you..
I just wanna hold you..
Am I too deep..? Have I lost my mind..
I don't care you're here tonight..

I can be your hero baby..
I can kiss away the pain..
I will stand by you forever..
You can breath away..

haizz...yeah very very old song...but I cant help posting sounded so the same time to good to be true..=)

A man's ego..=)

I found out something about myself..hehehe..whenever I'm depressed, I get a new HAIRCUT!! idea why..didn't realize it till yesterday.. And I wasted 15 bucks!! for a haircut that doesn't make any difference..sigh.. I wanted it really really short..but the hairstylist said I would look weird..and I was it is I'm already acting weird..and partially look weird..! hehe..but a hairstylist wouldn't be a hairstylist if he makes you look weird.. so I just trimmed it!!..=)

And you know what else I like when I'm depressed?? hehe..DRIVE BABY!!..DRIVE ALONE!! as fast as i can..hehehe..just to feel danger..once I drove all around my 'taman'..for like 5 times!! don't know gets me to think.. but lately I love to drive.. auto la..manual..after my finals.. I'm soo gonna get it in my hands!! ..the next you see me driving..will be in my sis's red kancil..=D

hmm..what else??!! oh yeah!!..MAN U is in town!! in BUKIT JALIL wei..10 mins drive!! soo near..yet so far..sigh.. I'm not their big time fan lar.. but just because my family esp my like OBSESSED with yeah..'bapa borek anak rintik'..=p

AND HARRY POTTER IS OUT!!! sigh..but i heard its kinda bored.. dont care la.. I remember when i was 14 i was obsessed with DANIEL RADCLIFFE!! hehehe.. I went for all his movies.. and I had to drag my dad along coz my mom was worried bout us(me and my sis) going for midnight movie..hehe..but wasted 9 bucks!! cause my dad will be sleeping in the but seriously I was CRAZY bout him!! used to Google bout him..and till now..i remember his BIRTHDAY!! on 30th of July!! hehehe..but now..not so lar..maybe taste all changing already..hehe

ok i realize I'm just crapping..don't know whats the point of me blogging also.. nothing interesting happened also lately..oh yeah!! I'm sure you've heard of people missing their station cause they were sleeping..hehehe..but have you heard of anyone..i repeat ANYONE!! who missed their station..cause they were STANDING..and SLEEPING??..heehe..nope?? well there has to be a start for EVERYTHING!! so are currently reading a weird/blurr girl's blog who actually missed her station cause she slept off..while she was standing!!..HEHEHEHE..yeah yeah..if you want her autograph..can tell me..I can get it for you..=p alrite.. I should probably stop embarrassing myself..=)

hmmm..i found something that i wanna blog about.. A man's ego.. Ego has only three letters..but'll never guess the damage it causes.. Now why exactly did I choose the gender MAN?? ..I'm not saying we woman don't have ego..we do..BUT.. A MAN'S Ego IS so damm obvious.. that you wish these species would extinct the moment they exist!!..=p But seriously..I saw it in my own eyes..just recently.. but i can't really put it up here.... but generally man always have this thinking...where..'I'M A other words..'I'M GREAT!!'

And mostly..being an Indian myself.. mostly INDIANS!! who have this kinda mentality you know.. those lousy tamil MOVIES!! really need a lot of improvement!! ..sigh..why is it does it have to be that way?? why discriminate another being?? to be honest I've never met a guy..who respects woman as one of their kind..oh wait i did!! bro, saha!!..=) then again..why is it these kinda people comes in limited edition??

But yes I do's hard to lower down your pride..and eliminate ego.. even in the 'love' world..'s like this..a guy says..'I don't wanna message her!!..or else she's gonna think I'm like SO CRAZY over her!!'..but in actual fact..he's desperate for her.. but because of his ego and pride..he delays it..and as a result.. she falls perfectly in another guys arm.. =(

The same goes to the girls.., "why should I ask him out..he's the guy right?? He should do it first..!!" but it's a bit different with a girl.. cause in normal cases.. all the girl has to do is wait...for a guy..they wouldn't know if he's the right one..which depends on how he captures her heart.. but unless he is not in the same direction.. with her..hehe..then she should probably make her move..

But anyway..if at all you found someone..where you can't possibly find another.. and no matter what you do..they have occupied your heart like there's no place for someone else.... and makes you smile..for the weirdest reason.. or the can't imagine your life without.. you might wanna think twice before deciding anything.. for who knows.. 'BELUM CUBA BELUM TAHU!!!..=p ..they might be the one..and you wouldn't wanna regret it in time to come..

take care!!..god bless..=)

p.s. It is better to loose your pride to someone you love rather than to loose that someone you love to youR pride..!!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Take the wheels..

And all went wrong.. EVERYTHING!! how long more can one take the all the tests??!! When you've done what you can.. and given your best.. and it still goes wrong.. maybe you should just pause a moment and say..'Lord, help me!!' and trust Him with all you have..

She was driving last Friday on the way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve..
Going home to see her mama and her daddy
With the baby in the back seat..

50 miles to go..she was running low..
On faith and gasoline..
It's been a long hard year..

She had a lot on her mind..and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast..
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass..

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes..
She didn't even have time to cry..
She was so scared..
She threw her hands up in the air..

"Jesus, take the wheels..
Take it from my hands..
Cause I can't do this on my own..

I'm letting go..
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on..
Jesus take the wheels.."

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder..
And the car came to a stop..
She cried when she saw the baby in the back seat
Sleeping like a rock..

For the first a long time..
She bowed her head to pray..
She said, 'I'm sorry for the way..
I've been living my life..
I know I got to change..
So from now on..tonight..

Jesus, take the wheels..
Take it from my hands..
Cause I can't do this on my own..

I'm letting go..
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on..
Jesus take the wheels..

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

p.s. i love you

Wee..i'm done!! hehe..chill la..only sociology and marketing... 1 more paper left..WEB PAGE DESIGN.. and that's only mid term.. sigh..FINALS!! ASSIGNMENT??!! Now lets just not get there..i'd probably kill myself and come back to life..sigh.. and I sill got time to blog..and facebook!! nevermind JUAN still got time, tomorrow, next week!! DAMM!! how long am i gonna procrastinate!! sighh...

Sometimes I wonder..what's the purpose of me blogging??..why am I so addicted to blog?? Why is it do I put the important task aside just to blog..?? Why do I have this burning desire in me.. that calms down as soon as i put then them on a piece of paper??..(Ok in this case its the screen).. When can i stop..or will I ever..?? Am I putting out a show..or is it just me?? Do people read what I write?? What do they think of me..when they do?? Am I labeled as normal..?? Or weird.. Does my blog offend the readers out there..?? Why am i asking so many questions?? Why can't I stop asking..??

Okie..this just proves one thing..GOSH!! i am extremely weird!! WEIRD!! I didn't know this part of me existed..till i started blogging.. maybe i should stop.. but can i live with it?? I mean all this while..i was living without blogging.. But now that i've started it..would it be hard..?? Am I loosing my mind??!!

GOSHHH!! JUAN STOPPP IT!!! ..for once..please act normal.. sigh.. Guess I'll try..=/

Anyway let's get real...=) this morning as usual I was listening to my radio...and i decided to listen to FLY FM..their topic was quite interesting.."does 'happily ever after' exist in the real lives..or do they only exist in movies and books?" and they related this question to the movie P/S I LOVE YOU!! =) have you seen the movie?? well, one look i'll say its AWESOME!! second look..'ITS FAKE!!'.. i mean to me la..=)

So back to my question, I heard a lot of funny and weird as well as real answers too..=) But if you ask me..
hmmm...I don't think there's such thing as HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! yes..happiness..exist.. But it doesnt last they..?? Just when you're in the mood..and everything is PERFECT!! When you're beginning your HAPPILY EVER AFTER SPARKS.. waiting for the fireworks to begin..and..WALLLA!!! there comes the wind, bringing in the rain and thunder...together with the lightning..the calms seas show off its TRUE COLORS, roaring in raging waters...AND WUSHHHH!! the tsunamii appears... there goes the castle you built..came tumbling down..right in front of you.. and worse comes to worse..when you can do NOTHING about it...sigh...

But when you're married...its a whole different story.. You think you can handle.. i mean..'BABY!! I HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME...WHAT ELSE DO I NEED??!!" hehehe.. aint a bed of roses..

You see, man have their own other words..they are from mars.. the things they do there is different..their language.. is straight forward.. their culture.. as in..when they're stress they WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!!

Woman..on the other hand..if from VENUS...they are more nurturing and caring type.. when they face a problem..they wanna talk to someone..cry their hearts out.. and when one of their friends are not in a good mood...they will talk..and want to know if there's is anything that they can do to help.. and...their language..hehe..comes in double meaning..

And so..lets say your married.. and this is where..mars and venus..becomes EARTH!! and... IN earth there's NO SUCH THING AS HAPPILY EVER AFTER!! yeah..when they're married..they forget where their partner come from..and that's where the whole 'TSUNAMII' things start..
For example..When the hubby says something.. the wife takes it they are used to double meaning rite??..But ..the hubby is actually meaning what he literally said!! hehe..uh-huh..and that is the definition of MIS-COMMUNICATION..=s

Now what happens when a guy is stressed up?? He enters his cave..and needs some time of his own!!..but his wife..with her caring and nurturing nature..she wants him to talk to her!! cause for HER..talking..and listening..reduces the burden!!..but the husband doesnt understand that..and the wife doesn't understand that He needs to be alone.. and POOOF!!! the fire dies!! He thinks she DOESNT UNDERSTAND!! ..and in her point..HE'S DOESN'T LIKE HER!! basically they both forget about each other's origins..and there goes their marriage..=(

=) hehehe..geee..maybe i should change my ambition to a MARRIAGE COUNSELOR!! chill havent even finish your foundation yet!!..=p

Anyway..basically understanding and trust is more important than love..if you ask me..=)
Marriage is not a bed of roses..but you can make it..if you want it too.. After each fight, forgive and forget, it nurtures and strengthens the bond..and EVERYDAY IS ANOTHER CHANCE TO FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!!..=D

take care god bless..

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

you're still the one

i found it!!..weeee....a few weeks back..was listening to mix fm...and the DJ said..that almost every couple played this song for their wedding..=p i was how come I didn't know this??..ehehehe...and then i heard the song of the benefit i get when i'm at sounded soo familiar..but couldnt really hear the words...and now that i've heard it clearly....i know why they play it for their romantic...*sobs..sobs*..dont know why i get soo easily touched by all this mushy, awwwhhhy, lovey dovey songs... like some immature love struck teen only...hehehe..

and i somehow find shania twain's voice unusual and sexy...


When I first saw you..I saw love..
And the first time you touched me..I felt love..
And after all this're still the one I love..

Look likes we made it..
Look how far we've come my baby..
We mighta took the long way..
We knew we'd get there someday..

They said, 'I'll bet they'll never make it'..
But just look at us holding on..
We're still together..still going strong..

You're still the one..I run to..
The one that I belong to..
You're still the one I want for life..

You're still the one that I love..
The only one I've dreamed of..
You're still the one I kiss good night..

Aint nothing better..
We beat the odds together..
I'm glad we didnt listen..
Look at what we would be missing..

They said, 'I'll bet they'll never make it'..
But just look at us holding on..
We're still together..still going strong..

You're still the one..I run to..
The one that I belong to..
You're still the one I want for life..

You're still the one that I love..
The only one I've dreamed of..
You're still the one I kiss good night..

I'm so glad we made..
look how far we've come my baby..

hehehehe...I officially love this song!!! Wouldn't mind singing it to the right person at the right time.. hmmm... everything sounds perfect..only the person is missing..=(

anyway..i better move on with sociology..before i post something else..=)

Monday, July 13, 2009

happy birthday mel and az!!

First and foremost...NEW BLOGSKIN!!!! WEEEE!! check out the cursor..and the banner.. A special thanks to AZRIN AIDIL!! who educated me how in the world it all works..*dumb me!!* =(

Too pinkish??..too girly?...ahhhhh...who cares..i am a girl after all.. =)

Secondly..I dedicate this post to 2 special friends of mine whom I met this year..

the first I met this girl..I admired her curiosity..whatever she didn't know..she asked.. OK..i was jealous of it..thinking "ish wassup with herla..asking so many questions and all"...cause I was never like that.. pretty much I wished I had her guts..=)

But I always had wrong assumptions you see..YEAP!! I was indeed so wrong.. She turned out to be the most friendliest gal ever existed!! Whenever I am down.. and I see her smiling at me..I find a reason to smile along with her..=)
We might come from different race and religion..we have soo soo much in common wei!! and she reminds soo much of schooling days!!..=)

She helped me soo much as well..not only in deeds..but also mentally...for I've learned that it doesn't matter how bad the situation may seem..all you have to do is SMILE..

ladies and gentlemen!!..please give up to..the THE WORLD'S MOST FRIENDLIEST GAL!! AZRIN AIDIL!! she's celebrating her 19th birthday today!!..SO


The next one is dedicated to a girl who helped me grow in my faith..she reminds me alot of my best friends jacynta and crystal where by we used to literally sing in class..all hillsongs music..hehehe..

And also thanks to her..for accompanying me..when I don't undestand a single thing the whole chinese gal is talking about..hehe..she's celebrating her birthday tomorow..

PEOPLE..INTRODUCING..MELLISSA LINA..(like she always say..DOUBLE 'LL' and double 'SS' in her name..hehe..seriously i know how it feels when someone get ur name spelled wrongly hehe..almost 95% spell and pronounce my wrongly..sigh..well..i have to ONE OF A KIND..=)


anyway just wanna inform you guys..i'll be absent tomorow..thanks to this irratating dry cough..the doc gave me a day off!!..actually i'm alright..just incase the whole college is closed because of me..and you guys have to miss SOCIOLOGY AND MARKETING MID TERM TEST!! ..i wont forgive myself..hehehe..

Half the day i'll be online tomorow..if not blogging, read other bloggers post, or else in facebook, completing the dumb quizzes or viewing others profile and picture..or else in you-tube searching for songs..or if worse comes to worse..check my 4589 mails..hehehe..i know!! maybe for once i should listen to my sis..'GET A LIFE JUAN!!'

oh yes..and I didn't know my so called..'EMO POST' the other day..really left impact on many..lolz.. they were all feeling sorry for in i was in need of serious seriously you guys..i was having some problem with myself.. not with the world..ok that sounded even nothing seriousla.. i just needed to get back my order..hehe..maybe i should stop publizising my private life..lolz

and one more thing..i have the craziest bunch of people no matter where i go..and no wonder i get along soooo well with them!..hehe.(you know who you people are!!)

take care god bless..=)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

confirmation 2009

26th august 1990..the day I was baptize..
10th october first holy communion
15th of July 2007..hehe..yeah that was 2 years back..but I'll never forget this day.. the day i was confirmed..
..holy matrimony..hehehe..will send you guys invitation..if it happens..=p..somethings tells me it will..or maybe not..=p

Today, i played back the it was confirmation day in my church.. I remembered my time.. We were all sooooo excited!! Went all around the world to get the perfect white dress and shoes.. hehe..ok i didn't go all around the world..and i got a skirt instead of a dress..but I wished i'd worn a

Anyway..i was the first..and right in front.."they claim i was the smallest!!" not in size of cause..but in height!! like what on earth rite??..all eyes were on me..i so hope i dont trip and fall..i have the public humiliation phobia you see..=(..behind me was anusha.. actually i turned out to be taller cause of my heels! wait a minute!! Im not short..!! Just not that tall..=p

Be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit..
You know what that means..??
Yeah already received the Spirti..yeah so now what??..its like a license for me to get married!!>.=p hmm..what else...?? Go on to college..stay in independent!! saying to all..'LEAVE ME ALONE!!' Find a new gf/bf ...go clubbing..maybe try smoking.. or even better..premarital sex.. cut mass!! turn into a lapsed catholic.. A catholic for name sake.. The bible belongs in the dumpster.. God?? who in the world is HE??

=) Sounds wrong??..but its the fact isn it?? I dont even see half of my catechism friends in church anymore..and we're talking about 50.. and soon..these people are going to get married..and their children will turn out to be exactly like THEM!! and there goes..the soldiers of Christ.. betraying their own.. the catholic population decreases..what goes around..comes around..

Whats the point of receiving it then?..I remember Mr leonard confirmation teacher..(for a min i wanted to type in lecturer,,hehe) But he is one heck of a dude I tell you.. His famous words..'YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING CATHOLICS!!" hehehe..harsh??..nahh..yes he was strict..but absolutely funny.. I enjoyed his class.. he manage to bring in a situation where you can feel the Spirit..though it's pint words.. just pure..absolute silent..

He made me beautiful the mass is.. You know what's the problem with catholics..?? They have been PROGRAMMED!! yeah literally.. Mass is something that falls in their unconscious state of mind..whereby they can say the order and all the responses for mass..even when they're asleep..and that's how..attending mass..becomes a duty!! not by free will..on your own insticnt..we feel obliged..not because we WANT too..but because we HAVE too!! when in fact mass is a celebration!!

You know everything that happens in from the bible itself!! somehow other denomination prefer to go their own way..If one understands every single thing that happens during mass..and how important and beautiful it is.. they'll yearn to go mass..not every week..but every day.. the long to receive Christ!! it's empty if they dont.. Leanord Pelly always reminded us about this verse from the bible.. 'DO NOT GIVE WHAT IS HOLY TO DOGS" ..where it can't received something if you do not know what it means.. One day you go..the next day you don't.. cause you dont feel like it.. If you ask me..that'll be like mocking and humiliating the CHRIST!! The eucharist is like a game to you..and you play it whenever you want..

We have receive the sacraments..and we don't utilize it..dont you think we are no more less than dogs..?? Let me put it this way.. your hair is black.. to make it look colour or straighthen or perm it..maybe even bald it.. the same goes to your cloth it.. you pierce tattoo it..and then.. you dont keep it to youself now do you..?? YOU SHOW IT OFF TO THE WORLD!! ..right??

The same goes with receive the holy beautify making it grow by day..praying..reading.. and you dont keep it to yourself..YOU SHOW IF spreading it!! simple as that..

okie..i crapped a bit extra today..hope it make sense..
oh yeah..
but sorry to say..ours was still the best..=p

No eyes has seen,
No ears has heard..
No mind can know what God has in store..
So open up it wide..
Over the church and over our lives..=)

take care!!..god bless.. confirmation skirt and blause..with MY SHOES!! Love em..but thanks to my sis for loving it more..and wearing it ofter and thus spoiling my heels..=(
my black straigh long hair..and my glasses.. and i still look hawttt dont i?? =p
im forgetting something else..oh yeah..MY SIS!! ..hehe
15th July 2007

Saturday, July 11, 2009

guess that's life

Arghhh!! I cant do this!! ...I really cant.. One minute..I convince myself that its all over..the next.. I bloody hell know it aint over!!..and it gets worse when I run away from it!! I have a lot to deal right now..and I dont need this..I really it studies is over the edge!!

I feel so lost..
Every move I make..seems to be wrong..
Every step I take..makes me fall..
I keep my eyes in the future..
But it's blank..

Sometimes I wonder..
Are you really hearing me..
Are you really wiping my tears??
Or are they only words...
to comfort and lie to myself..

Why do I feel I'm alone then..
Why do I feel so helpless..
Why do I still feel trapped??
When you have set me free..

I know everything happens for a reason..
But how long am I gonna cling on to that line??
How long will it take to find myself again..
How long are you gonna hide away from me??

I know I hurt you..
In every way I can..
I know you hurt deeply
because of it..
I know you're watching me write this..
You know everything,..even before I ask you..

I know I let it get in my way..
Without even stopping it..
I know I had a choice..
But I chose not to..

I know you won't leave me..
No matter how much I hurt you..

Why are you still with me??
Though I treat you like a trash..
Whenever I have the chance..

Why do I keep coming back..
And at the same time hurt you even more..

Why do I keep reminding my self..
Everything will work out fine..
Where by wont..

Aren't you sick of it..?
Watching me got through it..
And then beg for forgiveness..
Right back at square one..

I do not know what else to write..

Guess that's life..

Friday, July 10, 2009

What if your ex says..

A lot happen today..and I'm so not in the mood to talk about it..instead I found this survey which is quite interesting..hehe..and I'm not referring to anyone in particular.. but I wanna know how mean can i get..=p

You may imagine of one people or maybe some people not only one.
Answer it, "What if your ex says" referring to you!!!

1. Why did you let me go?
*erm..correction..YOU DID!!..=D

2. I still love you.
*Do you even know what it means??..

3. When did we last talk?
*Seriously..does it matter??

4. Will you go out with me?
*I'm sorry, but you had your chance..=)

6. I cannot keep my promise to you.
*I know..that's why I left..oh no wait!..that's why YOU left..=)

7. My friends say we don't look good together..
*Should have seen that from the beginning..unfortunately I was blinded by YOU!! ..=p

8. You have changed!
*I havent!! =p

9. Can we get back together?
* hehehe..I said its too late apologize..its too late..

10. Oh, I know what this is all about. You found someone else.
*not really..=( I dont think i want another..=)

11. Don't you realize? You are the one who hurt me!
*awwwhhh...did i??How does it feel be on bed everynight..tossing and turning ..sleepless.. wishing you never got up forever.. To put a fake smile..pretending everything wil be alright? To hate yourself ..for every drop of tear that wets your cheek?? Wait a minute, are you even capable of feeling all these??..=p

12. how can u forget our memories??
*I cant..=(

13. I will always love you.
*bullsh!t!! wouldn't have left me..if you did..

14. Would you die for our love?
*I would have...=)

15. You jump, i jump..remember?
*lol..yeah I do.. but this time you jump first k?? ..=p

16. Kiss me to break the curse if i sleep for a hundred years.
*I'd rather kiss a frog..oh wait..but I wouldn't kiss you even if you're a frog..hehe..=p

17. Whats the difference between me and Him/Her.
*Easy..he treasured my heart like it's his own..You threw it away!!

18. I saw you last night with your girlfriend/boyfriend..
*He's HAWTTT!! isnt he??..and more caring and loving, amazingly sweeter that you!! =P

19. Without me, your life wouldn't be complete.
*I know..but you left me no choice..=)

20. Why are you doing this to me!?
*You made me...=)

hahaahaha.. im super mean ryte???
Anyway no hard feelings..just wanted to kill time..=p
hehe..take care..

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Its only words

I remember last year for christmas..went to my cousins house is seremban, had endless fun there together with ashwin, roshel and maria..

And roshel is an excellent guitarist!! I could watch him play forever and... guess what?? he never attended any classes!! sighhh...gifted!! I really liked this song particular song..he played..IT'S ONLY WORDS BY BEE GEES.. My dad use to sing it to my mom...hehe I know!! wish someone sand it for me as well..=( ..all these oldies.. Actually I kinda like oldies you know.. hehe.. Suddenly it came to my mind..

Then I semangatla go and find all the chords..for this song.. and country roads.. That's my dads favorite!! Hehehe..but strumming totally out!! ...=(

Anyway I think this song is a bit contradicting.. cause they say.."ITS ONLY WORDS AND WORDS ARE I HAVE TO TAKE YOUR HEART AWAY.." Yeah..sweet talk.. and that's how you win a girl's heart..but how would you know if one is sincere or not?? How you know if he or she is not in for a role play or something.. Look in their eyes?? Lol..

I chatted with a guy from secondary school last nite.. This the one who played off my friend!! I was there, right next to her..reading all those nasty messages he sent.. and he knows very well that I'm very close to her..and here's the weird part.. despite all that non-sense..he was sooo totally hitting on me!!

First, he was complimenting my display pic..and then he was asking whether did i change my number or something..and I was like, 'When in the world I gave you my num??" And he replied "I took it from one of your friends last year..I called you..and heard your was so sweet and pleasant!!..But after that it wast in service anymore!!" What the hell?!? Lol, I obviously didnt change my num.. and seriously wanna lie also..please think of something BELIEVABLE AND NOT LAME!! I wanted to end it..but I wanna see how far is this going..=p hehe..

And he started la..telling me everything about him..and that he wrote poems.. I was laughing through out la... Thinking how ridiculous and dumb these GUYs can get!! I don't understand how their mind works... Why is it they think its cool to change girl friends every once a month?? Why is it that we gals..are literally dumb to fall for it..knowing what the end will be?? =(

And again..he asked for my number..kononnya wanna hear my voice again.. I was like..'Im sorry, I've been through enough to know where is this going..IN THE DUMPSTER!! ..and You have a serious problem with your brains and need immediate assistance!! You can start by appreciating everyone you meet, whether they last or not.. Dont treat them like rubbish cause that makes you one as well!! and then have a complete change of heart and mind!! and then I'll think about it..hehehe..

and again..if pnly I have the guts to say all this..which I will.. the next time I chat with him..=)

Anyway the song still rocks!! And I'm gonna practice it till I get it right on my guitar!! ..=)

Its only words-bee gees..

Smile, an everlasting smile..
A smile can bring you near to me..
Dont ever let me find you gone..
Cause that will bring a tear to me..

This world has lost its glory..
Lets start a brand new story love..
Right now..there'll be no other time..
And I can show you love..

Talk, an everlasting words..
And dedicate them all to me..
And I, will give you all my life..
I'm here if you should call to me..

You think, that I dont even mean..
A single word I say..

It's only words..and words are all I have..
To take your heart away..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

the train and leg torture..

hmm..dont know why I don't really feel like blogging these days..kinda lost the touch.. I feel I'm crapping way tooo much..=( was an unbearably painful day... *sobs..sobs* Let me start with yesterday.. Some people from the cinema world dropped by in my Uni.. they're promoting the movie 'Ghosts from the girlfriend past' ..hehe some movie cast by Jeniffer Garner.. they were conducting some games..and it comes with prizes.. the first of cause..2 free movie tickets..

So yeah..u guessed it!! No i didn't win..but i did join for the fun of it.. played a few games..hehe.. One of it is 'PROPOSE, MARRIED, DIVORCED!! yup..obviously I had to have a partner with i called cheng yee...and since she was wearing skirt..i had to do the PROPOSING!! hehe..meaning i have to go down on my knees..lolz..the game was kinda interesting..and we almost won!!! =( but had to settle for second place!!..sobs..sobs..

And then this morning...*didn't know proposing a girl can be this hard!!*..=(..I felt like i was an 80 year old grandma!! NO JOKE!! ..i cant sit!! and if i did..I cant stand!! muscle was sooo rigid!! was so afraid it will tear off.. Whenever i's like..i was just CIRCUMSIZED!! ..serious!! and it still hurts..hurts even more when i get down or walk up the the way, i am talking bout my be more thighs!!..hehe

Anyway..I had my management exam was oklar..the problem is..i stuffed in too much in my it all got mixed up!! hehe.. Usually my sis class will finish at this time as she will fetch me..and we'll happily go back home.. but..unfortunately she's having her no more classes!!..Meaning i have to back by my own!!..haizzz..and 5.30 is a NO NO time for me.. its FREAKING PEAK HOUR!!! anyway..azrin, the good Samaritan, sent me to university lrt station..meaning I dont have to be stuck in the bus..with the slow moving CATERPILLAR will take me forever to reach kajang!! The moment I reached sentral..i was like OHH-KAY..not as bad as i expected it to be..

I tuned behind and looked at the Klang train..which was really, extremely, unbelievably PACK!! and there were all rushing!! Malaysians!! always in a hurry..they should learn how to take it EASY!! ..I turned back to the seremban lane..and wow..not bad!! SEREMBAN route ppl are a lil bit more civilized..they were actually lining up..though they were 2 lines..but at least they did line up!!hehe..

And so I waited..for like 15 mins..before the announcer with her with her Malay slang announced that the train is about to arrive.. and as soon as the train arrive..GOSH!! malaysians just have to prove they are Malaysians you see..argh.. the 2 line..became a half full semi circle.. people were crowding and pushing like it was their dad's train or something..I just stood there and watched everyone do their non-sense! At the back I that impatient environment..suddenly BANG!! some dude just pushed me through like I was invisible!! HAIZZ..i was speechless..

Inside the dont wanna imagine.. this is the part..where I soo wished I was taller!! I was pushed..and smashed..and piece of dead the crocodile's nest!! lolz..ok that's a bit too much..but it was similar la..sighh..I couldn't even get my hp from my pocket! was surrounded by I know how easy for gals to get molested in this kinda situations!! all I could is pray..and hope my purse in my bag will be save!!

Reach mid valley..walau wei!! I wouldn't be surprise it someone got killed or something... yeah IT WAS THAT BAD!! one was giving in..till the guy in the cute snow cap shouted.."SABARLAH! BAGI ORANG KELUAR DULU!!" finally..someone said it.. I mean why rush people?? wanna get seats?? dream can't even breathe in there!! afraid of not getting to go inside the train?? WELL HELLO!! in the world can you get in..if they don't come out??!! Gosh..TYPICAL MALAYSIAN MENTALITY!! .. phone was yeah..obviously while taking out my Hp..i accidentally touched the person next to indonesian guy..and he starred at the..'ARE YOU MOLESTING ME?" kinda look..i starred back at him..with the look.."DONT YOU THINK, IF I WERE TO MOLEST SOMEONE, I WOULD AT LEAST CHOOSE SOMEONE WITH A BREATHTAKING SMILE AND EYES..AND ehem..LOOK??" hehehe..

so that was basically it..and i was in there you know..stuck..with these leg pain.. haizz.. seriously..dont know how im still living here!!..It's SOOO PAIN!! sobs..sobs..

take care..god bless..

Monday, July 6, 2009

With all that I am

I was searching for a song in you-tube...but failed as usual..cause I forgot the title..=( But I found something more interesting..this song called 'WITH ALL I AM' by Hillsong..
I don't know how they do it..but I have never seen any praise and worship band that can lead me in spirit..just by watching and hearing them on screen.. Almost brought me to tears.. You can seriously feel something running up your spine..

You can see everyone..EVERYONE!! present there was surrendering everything they had to Jesus..through this song..and all the other songs!! It's beautiful..simply beautiful.. wish I was there in the crowds..doing nothing but praising God..

Today I promise matter how much it cost me..or how far I have to travel.. I will attend one of the concerts lead by this band..I really really hope I can..=)


Into your hands..I commit again..
With all I am..for you Lord..
You hold my the palm of your hands..
And I am yours..forever..

Jesus I You..
Jesus I You..
You're the reason I live..
The reason that I sing
With all I am..

I'll walk with you..wherever you go..
Through tears and joy..I'll trust in You..
And I will all of your ways..
In your promises..forever..

Jesus I You..
Jesus I You..
You're the reason I live..
The reason that I sing
With all I am..

I will worship you..

Saturday, July 4, 2009


wow finally!! I have a free weekend!! not really least I'm having some time to breathe and blog..=p
But seriously for the past house has been like a hotel you know..I practically drop by my house to bathe..and sleep..THAT'S IT!! ...then have to go somewhere else... get up early..come back late..haizzz!!

Anyway..guess what happen yesterday?? hehehe..I played futsal wei!! and it was AWESOME!! ..seriously..i think i finally understand why is it some guys are crazyly addicted in kicking a ball!! =p hehe..the difference here is..none of us knew how to kick!! TOTAL KAKI BANGKU'S!! lol..
but still we had lots of fun...seriously a lot!!

we were all gals..actually it was suppose to guys against gals..unfortunately they chickened out last minute..=p..lolz..nolar..just there were only 2 guys...linus and one guy on each team..

And so the game begin!! ..

The opposition team..MAT MENACHI!! Hehehe..since seenu was the only indian in that group..

Seenu who scored one goal for us!!..heheheehe by ACCIDENT LA!! ..but thanks again..seenu.. was the goalkeeper for their team.. He claimed he was giving us chance to taste victory..since we're playing for the first time..what in the world rite?!? lol

Charlene..the striker..or attacker..hehe..kicked the ball so hard and so high..that it got stuck behind the goal post!!..hehehehe..and not forgetting..while kicking the ball..she KICKED HER SHOE AS WELL!!! was hilarious!!.

AH PEK!! ..hehehe..was the most aggressive one la...walau wei..she rampas the ball ,,,very ganas one!!..hehehe....

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOH KAI PING!!..this girls name is GOH KAI PING! ...but seenu will be like..GO KAI PING...GO KAI PIING!! YOU CAN DO IT!! ...hehehehehe..soooo funny!! soo soo funny..and with her long legs..she and azrin will be fighting for the ball..shes also very clever to curi the ball..=)

JOO HOOI!! ..heheheeh the cutest member of the group..ok ok..all of you were really cute.. but joo hooi pretty good with the ball..only she's a tries her best to kick the ball very hard..but it will only move as far as 1 meter..hehehe..and with her ban of hair at the back..which always bounces whenever she really cute!!..=p

ESTHER!! who came a bit late..was not bad as well...i know she tries her best to get the ball from me..but hehehehe...sorry hun..better luck next time...CEHHHH WAHH...berlagak!!..heheeh

NOW!!! TEH AIS TEAM MEMBERS!!..WHO WON OVERALL!!.WEEEEE!!! A BIG APPLAUSE!!..*Thank you!! thank you*...BOW!!!!! ..weeee!!!

LINUS!! our goal keeper..and so called coach!!..heheeh..excellent goal keeper!! BUT hey extremely sorry for hitting your teeth with my elbow..while cheering...SOOWWIIEE!! and err u gave me a good one as well with the ball on my back!! hehehe

AZIRN the LOYAL MANU FAN who hates Ronaldo..was awesome!! She gave the name 'TEH AIS!!' for our group..hehehe..and she scored..the majority of our goals!!..GOOO AZRIN!! She and kai ping has this thing

Mellissa..who thought she won't sweat..was running all over the place to get the ball..she was sort off our mid fielder la..and she drank 3 CANS OF 100 PLUS wei..!! hehehe

Rebecca..lolz..who laughs every single minute..was laughing even more in that one hour!!.. She scored one goal!!..GOOO BECKS!!!..

CHENG YEEE!! ..heheehehe..i like her name..AKA ASAKO!! lolz..the girl in red..who happens to be a bit femine..but hey..dont under-estimate her k!! she's got skills!!

and lastly..hehehehe..ME!!! ..lolz..guess what??..I SCORED THE LAST GOAL!!! ..weee!! was so extremely happy that I almost wanted to take off my t-shirt..but unfortunately I'm not gifted and allowed to that..!! hehehe..=p

~~!!@@##$$%% TEH AIS VS MAT MENACHI% %$$##@@!!~~
~~!!@@##$$%% 7 : 2 %%$$##@@!!~~

oh yeah..not forgetting...our one and only spectator!..hehehe LANDY!!

and our camera woman!! CASIA!!

You know whats the beauty in girls?? matter how horrible..or how sweaty..or stinky!! CAMWHORE IS A MUST!! ..lolz..well..memories.. in 20 years from now.. we will all be looking at this..and thinking..'WOW I WISH I CAN TURN BACK TIME!! ..or DAMM I CAN BELIEVE I ACTUALLY DID THIS!!..

But thank God I dont have a camera phone..or else..lolz!! I'll be an official PAPPARAZZI!! ..hehehehe

love ya all..=)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

when a woman loves a man

This morning..while I was on UTAR bus..listening to MIX..Serena(MIX FM DJ) announced that today they will be discussing on break-ups and heart breaks that Malaysians had when they were still a teen..i was like okie!!..this should be interesting..=p

And then the first caller was a dude..He said he first had his GF when he was 16..the first movie he took her out to watch is TIGGER!! know the cartoon??..soo cute!! and according to him, the gal really liked watching cartoons!! they use to hang out in the chee chong fun stall everyday after school!!..=)

But of didn't really work out..her parents found out..and yeah that was the end.. and he was still waiting for her..everyday he used to listen to BELAIAN JIWA..lolz..

Right after hearing that i smiled to my self..shaking my head.. and then the DJ said..'we'll play the song BELAIAN JIWA by Innuendo for you' ...

I was like NOOOO!!! but of was ridiculous for them to actually hear yeah..they played it.. It's been ages since I last listened to this song..ok maybe not ages..just a month back..

Those words..used to sound so beautiful to my ears..but's like full of complete lies!!..I wanted to turn it off..but I can't get myself to do it..for whatever reason it is..

And when you enter my block right..there's no coverage..and it was I actually stood by the the rain..for the song to finish..lolz..crazy me!! ..=P well if it wasn't for the songs..and those words..I wouldn't be in this mess .. =(

After that, I went in my class and was listening to charlene's taylor swift songs!! there's this song called fifteen!!..

There's this part in this song..the chorus part where it says..'WHEN YOU'RE FIFTEEN SOMEBODY SAY THEY LOVE YOU..YOU GONNA BELIEVE THEM" and another part it says..'YOU KNOW HE'S THE ONE'..'BACK THEN I SWORE I'M GONA MARRY HIM SOMEDAY' but...'HE CHANGED HIS MIND'...

hahaha...puppy love..when you're fifteen..

The problem is..I'm not fifteen..and this is far from what they call puppy love..that's why its so darn hard to forget!!.. I guess it must be pretty easy for the guys huh? ..they can get whoever they want.. and when they're sick and tired of it..they find another..they pretend like it never existed and move on in life..they simply forget that particular chapter in their life..

It's the gals who have to deal with it!!...all this nonsense and unnecessary things.. which affects every single precious moments in their life.. the more they try to forget..the more it comes back.. guess that's what differentiates between a woman and a man.. we have hearts and they dont!! when a woman loves a man.. nothing breaks thru it..=)

Or maybe I havent met the right one yet..coz apparently every guy turns out to be the same.. =( No guy who wants to go through it no matter what guy who is willing to make sacrifices.. and there aint no guy who can't imagine me..not being there..

Gosh!! JUAN!! ..why so biased do know not all guys are like that!!You know it's all for your own good!!

And..I'm only 19!! dammm..N-I-N-E-T-E-E-N!!! I have got a long way to go!! a lot of people to meet!! ..Yes it's hard..but something is saying it's all worth it..=)

sigh..i really wish i could be the person i mentioned up there.. but haizz..guess it aint that easy.. it aint easy to move aint easy to let go..

take care god bless!!..=)