Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Finals nightmare has been quite a while since i last blogged.. Extremely sorry..been really busy there days.. Finals and all... Anyway need to update on a few things..

27TH APRIL 2009,
Firstly, ACCOUNTS AND ME SOOOO CANT GET ALONG..AND WILL NOT GET ALONG!! ..the paper was total SH!T!! seriously..4 questions with 25 marks each.. i open it..and stared blankly.. with one thought.."Lord I'm handing over this paper to you, please help me!" to be frank i don't think i will even get more than 10 marks..YES!! it was that worst... well..i thank God my course work and mid term was alright..or else..all of you are invited to my funeral.. but i was kinda happy through out accounts..hehe..cant stop thinking of him..and the message he sent me just before i started my exam.. =) amazing..what love can do..=D

28TH APRIL 2009,
On this day i had my computer studies exam..i kinda enjoyed studying computer studies.. i don't know why..maybe cause my computer has been a very good friend of mine..for was one of the tool that assist me in finding the 'angels' who belong to me now.. so kinda interested to find out how this 'friend' of mine works..=) so yeah..i was reading and reading and reading..waiting for the bus..waiting for the train.. of cause in the train as well.. and by the way something happen in the train that caught my attention.. Came to Mid Valley station of cause half the train got down..and there were empty seats.. so there's this African American guy.. who found an empty seat next to a Chinese middle-aged lady.. suddenly got up after 2 mins.. then i heard her..'you can ask that lady to sit' ..she was pointing at another middle aged Malay lady.. i got really SHOCKED!!.. i looked at the guys face..he was acting cool..but i could see he was hurt.. like what the hell!! ...i can't believe this.. i mean yes maybe the Chinese lady felt that the Malay lady deserve the seat.. but from one look anyone can tell she is being RACIST!! ..
I felt so sorry for that guy... not because he didn't get the seat..but because he was hurt.. i would have felt the same..if i was in his place.. Being discriminated because of ones colour. I do not understand..why is it that what you wear and how you look or what colour you are in..must matter? why must it be a barrier for others to see the person you are?? Why must it be a 'must' for others to judge another?
well studies was so much better compared to soooo much better..seriously!!..though I'm pretty sure i lost 15 marks cause of the last question..sigh.. but hope it will be alright..
since i didn't have any exam the next my sis and i decided to attend charismatic.. The praise and worship was awesome.. the song 'arms of love' really touched me... and after that we went supper....after a long time..i finally had the time to go out with them again..yay!!

29TH APRIL 2009 exam today!! ..but I'm having English tomorow..yeah what the hell rite??...its english..the easiest subject but the hardest to score..u think its rite..but its wrong..sighh..
wish me luck guys!!...
and all the best to all my friends as well..

and next week..there's econs and public speaking..and after that...IM DONE BABY!! YAY!!

Friday, April 24, 2009

i miss you..

i miss you..
more than you'll ever know..

how i long to hear you voice again..
those gentle words..
that becomes a sweet song to my ears
that becomes my strength when I'm weak
that always gets me through my day..

how i long to look into your eyes again..
the calm eyes..
that melts my heart so tenderly..
that tells me..'I'll be with you forever' without a word..
that answered so many of my questions..

how i long to be in your arms again..
that strong arms..
that's willing to catch me when i fall
that keeps me warm when I'm cold..
that keeps me close to your heart..

i miss you..
i miss your voice..
i miss your eyes..
i miss being with you..

i miss you..
more than you'll ever know..=)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

slumdog millionaire and Jeremiah 29:11

sigh....what a day!! I'm like so tired..and i should be studying now..well it wouldn't hurt if i blog a little bit right?? =)

anyway..last night i finally watched slumdog millionaire!! weeee...and its not bad at all.. i learned a lot from it... one thing is that..nothing is coincidence...everything definitely happens for a reason..
the questions that was asked to 'jamal' who's real name is Dev Patel reflects the suffering and pain he went through...and no its not a coincidence that the questions were related to his suffering... and that he knew the answers to most of the questions.. there is a reason behind it..

well the director did a brilliant job..i can tell.. why?? He put so much suffering in ones life.. He took away almost everything that guy owned..His mom, his brother (who was such a pain)..and his so-called girlfriend... instead he replaced it with humiliation and embarrassment and not forgetting the pains and suffering..

The beauty of this movies is that the suffering Jamal went through actually helped him to answer the million rupees questions..i mean..if he didn't go through all that..he definitely can't answer the questions..and won the money..

This movie tells me that no matter how much a person suffers or is put to suffer..there's definitely a reason behind it..and that also..God will never forsake his people if only you trust HIM..He won't let you suffer without any reason..or just because He enjoys doing it... He came to save and seek the lost..

For He alone knows the plans He has for you.. Plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster..plans to bring about the future you hope for..(Jeremiah 29:11)

Do you know what that means?? says..God ALREADY has a PLAN for you!!..and yes a plan that WONT bring you disaster..but SUCCESS!! a plan which matches the need you WANT for YOUr FUTURE!! ...

isn't that great??...He's telling you..
no matter what situation you are in now..or how bad is it..or that your having questions about your future..or financial difficulties.. or perhaps problem with you parents..and your studies.. or your facing an emotional breakdown..

He says, 'don't worry' ...i already have a GREAT plan for YOU!!! .. and you are surely gonna LOVE it!!

he continues in Jeremiah 29: 12-13 ..all you have to call to him...go back to him..pray to him...for HE will answer Him with all your heart..and you will FIND HIM!! Trust him and have FAITH!! for something great is about to happen..

I'm so glad I knew HIM!! ..

take care and god bless

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

You are..

My sis did something brilliant today..she introduced me to the song..'dreams on fire' gave me an modify it..=) and this is for you piggy..hope u like it..

You are my dreams at night..
You are my thoughts at day..
You are the the world i live in..

You are the sun that shines..
You are the rain that calms..
You are the laughter to my cries..

You are my smile each day..
You are the reason i dream..
You are the faith that make me believe..

You are why i start hoping.
You are why i love HIM more..
You are in the prayer i say..

You make me wish for more..
You make me go crazy..
You are where i belong..

You are my sexy piglet..
You are my pretty boy..
You are all that's real to me..

You make me feel..
You make me real..
You are the answer to my prayers..

You give me goosebumps..
You give me more than i can ever wish..
You are indeed my everything

Thanks for everything..muaxxx!!

Monday, April 20, 2009















P/S Stop thinking and dreaming of HIM as well..


Sunday, April 19, 2009

a week after easter..

It is exactly a week after Easter...after He gave up His life for us..the perfect easter gift..not wrapped with paper..but with passion..a gift not placed under the christmas tree..but on the cross..a gift not tied with ribbons..but sprinkled with blood...

Funny isn't it...every year it's the same thing we celebrate..every year we are reminded that HE gave up his life for us..every year we go for the same confession..with more or less the same sins... they usually call it the 'circle of life' happens over and over again..

So what is it that's different?? or to be more precise..what is it that should be different?? every's all about us..about me..only me..we realize..'oh yeah..lent is here.. means fasting.. no meat..sacrifices and confession ..bla bla bla..' then easter comes..'what am i gonna wear for Easter?? how should i do my hair?? should i get new shoes??...and on it goes..

But have we put ourselves in Jesus's shoes??... i mean He must have wondered 'WHY??' ..why do i have to go through all this..??why are they screaming at me..?? what wrong have i done??.. why are they casting their lots for my robe..?? 'these crown of thorns is hurting' 'why Father..WHY??...have we wondered what exactly was going on Jesus mind??..when He went through all this??

What about our Father in heaven?? ...was He enjoying the scene?? or was He crying and hurting every single second Jesus was in pain?? there any Father here on earth..who is willing to sacrifice their children??..if you ask me..when i become a parent.. never..NEVER will i let go my kids for anything or anyone.. Imagine how hard is it for HIM.. to see HIS one and only Son..suffering and pouring out his precious blood for nothing more than us must have hurt HIm a hear HIM cry in pain...cry for help..

and we here on earth..well..have taken it for granted..or perhaps overlooked the real meaning of easter.. it's not only about sacrifice and clothes and shoes.. but's about the willingness to go through with God...and feel the pain He went through..the suffering he felt..

ever heard of the song WHY by nicole nordeman?? ..well in this song..a little girl who doesnt know anything about Jesus talks about her experience.. while she was entering Jerusalem with her dad where she saw this Man..being crucified.. and here..Jesus gets the answer's to HIS do we.. it's a beautiful song and also one of my favorite.. read it till the will give you goosebumps..=)

WHY~nicole nordeman..

We rode into town the other day..
Just me and my daddy..
He said, i'd finally reach that age..
And i could ride..
next to him on a horse..
that of course was not quite as wide..

We heard a crowd of people shouting..
And so we stopped to find out why..
There was that man..
That my dad said he loved..
But today there was fears in his eyes..

so i said..
'daddy why are they screaming??
why are the faces of some of them beaming..??
why is HE dressed in that bright purple robe??
i bet that crown hurts Him more than it shows...
Daddy, please..can you do something??
He looks as though he's gonna cry..
You said..He was stronger than all of those guys..
Daddy please tell me why..
Why does everyone wants HIm to die?

Later that day..the sky grew cloudy..
And daddy said, i should go inside..
Somehow he knew..things would get stormy..
Boy was he right..
But i could not keep from wondering..
if there was something he had to hide..

so after he left..i had to find out..
i was not afraid..of getting lost..
so i followed the crowds..
to a hill where i had been killed..
and i heard a voice come from the cross..

and IT said,
"Father, why are they screaming..??
why are the faces of some of them beaming..??
why are they casting their lots for my robe??..
this crown of thorns..hurts me more than it shows..
Father please,...can YOU do something..
I know that You must hear my cry..
I thought I could handle a cross of this size..
Father, remind me why..
why does everyone wants Me to die??
oh when will I understand..

"My precious Son..
I hear them screaming..
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming..
But soon I will clothe robes of My own..
Jesus, this hurts me..much more than You know..
But this dark hour..I must do nothing..
Though i've heard YouR unbearable cry..
The power in Your blood..destroys all of lies..
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes..
Look there below..SEE THE CHILD..
now I can tell YOU WHY..

Take care and god bless!!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Playground pics

Hey guys..sorry for the late photo uploading!! hehe..n by the way i totally enjoyed myself that day..snapping pics..sadly i cant be in it!!...hehehe but who cares i laughed myself out like crazy..thanks!! love ya ppl!!

Date: 9th april 2009
Day: thursday
Venus: KFC and PLAYGROUND!!! weeee

someone obviously got stuck..hehe

the whole gang..excluding me..sobs

becca!!..go horsey..make her fall =p

lil azrin!!..soooo cute hehehe

dont just the camera woman..=p


Charlene inside tunnel

kai ping...on blue horsey

charlene slipped hehehe

charlene...hehe on the ground

hahaha...go asako!! im with u.

dont know when the slide gonna break =p

lil miss rebecca

asako n me hehehe

kai ping n me...

our 3D castle..hehehe

Friday, April 17, 2009

chicken pox...superhuman?? hehe

19 years and finally i have chicken pox!!!!...weeeeeeee since i was small i was wondering when in the world am i gonna have my chicken pox and skip school for the whole week!!! hehehehe getting it now...and i only skipped college for 3 point rite??.. Next week also study break already..=( and the finals..=((((( and the say hellooooo to my favorite part of the sem... 3 WEEKS OF LEISURE!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

i'm all so superhuman'-ish... hehe..u know the feeling where you can do everything and anything.. if you have the will kinda thing..hehehe y?? coz of chicken pox?? or maybe i didnt know LOVE can do all this... you smile to yourself.. you smile in your dreams.. you smile when ur scratching and itching.. you smile when ur sleeping.. hehe crazy!! crazy of him!! missing him like crazy!!!

why i love you??
hehehehe..actually got a lot..i can probably make a whole book but to simplify it i only need 3 words!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!!

SUPERHUMAN by chris brown n keri hllson

Verse 1
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How’d I survive when I can barely speak
Barely eat
On my knees

But that’s the moment you came to me
I don’t know what your love has done to me
Think I’m invincible you see
Through the me
I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don’t know what your doing to me with your love

I’m feeling all Superhuman
You did that to me
Super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman

Verse 2
Since I’ve been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like i had it all along
I can see tomorrow

But every problem is gone because
I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It’s unbelievable to see
How love could set me free

You changed my whole life
Don’t know what your doing to me with your love

I’m feeling all Superhuman
You did that to me
Superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman

Its not a bird
Not a plane
its my heart..
and its going and gone away..

My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you I feel like I can do

Going going I’m going away
In love
You changed my whole life
Don’t know what your doing to me with your love
I’m feeling all Superhuman
You did that to me
Superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman

i'm superhuman not cause of my chicken pox but coz of you..hehehehe =)
take care

Thursday, April 16, 2009

14th April 2009

It has been 4 months since i started blogging... Here i've shared, my sorrow, my struggle, my fantasy, my fear, my love, my thoughts , my joy...everything i went through..everything i wrote.. was indeed very true...and it came right from my heart..

Did i make a good decision in starting to blog??...hehhehe...definitely!! well i was hopping to touch ..not all but at least one..who reads my blog..and guess what i did!!!! ..and he happen to be the love of my life!!...~weeeeeeeee~

14th of April 2009~~a day where i would never forget..

part of the song 'unbelievable' by craig david..

it's so unbelievable..and i dont wanna let go..
it sounded so beautiful..flowing down like a water fall..
i feel like you've always been..
forever a part of me..
and its so unbelievable
to finally be in love
somewhere i'll never thought
i'd be...

hehehe..weeeeeeee!!!! im in love!!..yes and i'm sooo proud of so proud of him!!

I thank the Almighty above..
for He said
'wait' and i'll give you best..!!

uh huh..i have the bestest thing on earth!!
I want to share with him the whole world..unfortunately..He's mine!!..hehehe
well...i can't describe him just have to meet him..
for words can't describe the kinda heaven sent angel he is..
muaxx i love you hun!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

never have i..

Never have i felt this crazy before..
Never have i felt so loved before..
Never have i felt so gifted before..
Never have i felt such joy in me heart..
Never have i cried..tears of joy..this much before..
Never have i enjoyed getting teased this much..
Never have i enjoyed hearing someone advising me..
Never have i loved my much..
Never have missed someone...that it's taking up every piece in me..

you know who you are!!..
Thank you..for giving me the opportunity to feel such things..

Precious Lord,
Please tell me I'm not dreaming..
Please let me do what you want me to do..
Not what i want...
No matter what..
I love you..and will always love you..

i believe

hey there...i'm sorry i really dont have time to blog these past few days..though i have a lot to talk and also post the pics in the playground that day..yeah believe it or not!! ..we did play the slide..and it wasnt that bad..

well anyway..its easter!!...i wanna post something bout it as well..but time is soo jealous of me these days..=(
Anyway i think the song that im gonna post in a while..explains everything..and how i feel.. for i believe in Him!!..i love him and i trust him!!..i also thank him for the prettiest though annoying 'angel' that he sent me..n im missing that angel like crazy!!..haizzz...

here's 'i believe' by planet shakers...

I heard story just the other day,
About man who gave his life away for me
Complicated yet it seems so clear
If I open up my heart, it be so near to me
I believe in you
I believe in you..

I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe your word as set me free
with all that I am
I will live my life for you
I believe

I read a story just the other day
About the way you healed blind man, made him say
Here I stand crying out to you
all i need is faith to see a miracle in me

I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe your word as set me free
with all that I am
I will live my life for you

Saturday, April 11, 2009

A partially completed love story,,

She stood there alone..
Starring at the window..
Watching the world go by..
Watching them holding hands..
Laughing and smiling..
Like there's no tomorrow..

She waited all her life..
For many come and went..
But none stayed..
None swept her off her feet..

She wants to hold someones hand as well..
And cry together
with that special someone..
She almost gave up hope..

But then he arrived..
Dressed in that silver suit..
He held her high..
Making her believe..
She can do anything she wants..
Or be anything she wanna be..

With a sword in his hand..
He assured her..
That he wants...and will
Go through this journey with her..
She still didn't give in..
She has lost all the hope she had..
And she's not willing to go through that process..

But he did not give up..
Stood by her..though he's not needed..
Teased and played with her..
Like a friend..

She prayed..
Asking for directions..
Asking for guidance..
From the One who created her..
She was clueless..

Deep down she knew..
She can't deny the fact..
She knows its impossible to close her heart..
Day by day..
it's gets stronger..
it gets deeper..

He stood there below..
With his white to him..
Looking up to the window..
He watched her..
With that beautiful eyes of his..
He smiled..
creating thousands of butterflies in her stomach..

She smiled even wider..
For she knew..
She has found her knight in shinning armor..=)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

something wrong..

i have another 10 mins before the other class starts..

the truth is this...
i didnt say my morning prayer today...neither say my night prayer..last nite..
and this morning...everything went wrong..i had that feeling again..
that uncomfortable feeling..where something wasnt right..
it has been a rush this whole week..and i really didnt have time to speak to HIM..
who watches and guides me all day long..
who waits for me to go running to him..knocking at HIS door..
who hurts..whenever i dont...

when am i gonna learn my lesson??..
why is it..that i go to HIM when He's needed only..
how am i to say i'm sorry..
how am i to not drift away..

Dear Lord..
I know that you are longing for me..
As I am longing for you too..more than anything..
whether i realize it or not..
i seek for you in everything i do..
It's just's been really confusing and too fast these few days..
But still that' not an excuse..for me not to talk to you..
Infact..the more reason why i should talk to you..
Please forgive me...
I know i've asked you so many times...
for the same reason..
But i am really sorry for taking you for granted..
Help me overcome my weakness..
and you know what i'm asking for..even before i ask you..
You know...i cant mention it here..
Therefore i ask you to guide me in making the right decision..
i know you will..

Monday, April 6, 2009


You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart.
So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

— Bob Marley

Dedicated to those who love, or once loved..

Friday, April 3, 2009

red hair..

weeeeee...i'm done with arts~~~...woooohoooooo!!!
unfortunately its not forever yet..still have my major presentation left..*sigh*

anyway...what comes to your mind when someone says 'red hair'...?? or blond..or purple hair.. or excessive piercing..or perhaps skimpy clothes??..

mostly..from what i can see..these kinda people are usually labeled as 'cheap' ..or..'wild' or 'playgirl'..u know the 'B' and 'S' word...i wouldn't wanna contaminate my blog..sorry..=)
In short they will be categorize as bad person...

and the girls..who wear clothes all closed up from head to eye..the 'typical good girl look' ..clean nails..clean face.. well..these are the kinda girls who are labeled as 'the-bringing-home-to-meet-my-mom' kinda type..

there's nothing wrong in that..everyone has their own point of view BUT..hehehe..there has to be a 'but' in the world can you judge a person just by looking at how they dress or how they look?? yes, i do agree what you wear and how you speak portrays the person you are..but still that doesn't give you the right to condemn or criticize a person..for:

1stly, you are no better than who that person is..maybe even worse... *take the log out of your that you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye..*
2ndly, you do not know this person..even if you do doesn't give you the right to judge him or her..
3rdly, that person might have a particular reason for doing the things they are doing..
4thly, so what if he or she looks and dresses like that??..y does it bother you??'re afraid to be with them cause others may look at you one kind?? y do you care bout what other people live for God and yourself..not others..=)
5thly, if you always see whats imperfect in others..then how will you be able to see what lies beyond those imperfection..

well if you ask me...y is my hair red??..i would say..i was born with it..hehehe..yeah lame..
but seriously y i dyed my partly cause i want to follow the trend and the latest fashion..
and y is it so?? attract others??..nahhhh..i can do that just by smiling..=p
its because..i want to show that a girl can wear and look however she wants..but of course with a certain line drawn and at the same time... not forgetting who she is..and who is it that made her..and is also prepared to give Him back..what He gave her..

take care and have a nice day..=)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

things to do

I am currently in my Computer Lab..wasting my life..for no reason..where i could do a million things if i'm at home..

Just incase I dont forget I'm gonna list it down..and God..please provided me with enough time to complete all this by 12 midnight..Amen!!

  1. Go to Cziplee to buy sticky notebook.
  2. Complete my packaging design which i thought i had already completed it yesterday.
  3. Decorate my packaging design.
  4. Snap pictures as a prove and transfer them into my pendrive.
  5. Go to the nearest computer shop and print out the pics.
  6. Paint my monalisa.
  7. Update my visual diary.
  8. Start out with my journal 2 which is my packaging design into my visula diary.
  9. Decorate my visual diary.
  10. Come online and blog again..whether did i, or did i not complete my task before 12..=p

Ok another half an hours before my class starts. And they are calling to play my favorite game..SNAP WITH UNO!!..heehehe..well its not like i can do anything yeah..better enjoy before i enter my nightmare..

p.s arts has the tendency to kill people..mentally and physically!! joke..=)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


i thought it was really over..
but its not..not till what happen last night...*sigh* ..
but i promised myself not the shed any tears..AGAIN!!..
Though its APRIL FOOL's day....i mean it..REEAALLLYY...

thanks to someone la...
i got jacked right after an hour..the clock hit 12 a.m. ...GRRRRR!!
but i didn't really get fooled...cause he got me worried..=(
then again..I know he doesn't really get this chance as often as i yeah..
will let him have his way...=p

well my first victim was my almost didn't work out..but it did..or else..guess i'll be fooling myself again..I dont think i'll be fooling as many people as i did...the previous year...
last year was the worst..i was practically stuck at home..hehehe..lifeless you see..=)
the previous year was the bestla...hehehe
JACYNTA, RINA and RAHILA..heheheheehe..all got fooled..woohhooo..
sure gonna get screwed if they read this..
well actually the lie i told them..turn out to be true..hehehe..dont ask was a total coincidence!!!..
so yeah..=p

(1.53am @ 2nd april)
I have a lot to write..but time is extremely jealous of me these days. For a moment everything seems to fall into place..the next, it flies away..together with the wind..together with the birds and leaves.. It's really hard to find something or someone that's permanent huh..?? ..that will stay forever...

well anyway..actually there is..i would like to share this video..