Sunday, January 31, 2010


"In this crazy life..through these crazy times.. ITS YOU..ITS YOU!! make me sing.. you're every line.. you're every word.. you're everything.."

WEDDINGS!!...dont you just love weddings??.. hehehe.. well I do.. =D

Witnessed 2 marriage today..and both was AWESOME!! ..of course.. its every girls dream.. to be in that white gown.. to walk down that aisle next to her old man.. and experience that touching scene the moment her dad hands over his daughter to the groom..*i almost teared today* say that oath..not only say it.. mean every word.. till hear voice starts to tremble for she's never been so sure about anything in her life before.. with the veil covering her beauty..that shines radiantly the moment he lifts it up.. and he kisses her gently and sweetly...awwwwwhhh!! ..such amazing gift isn it..??.. the gift of Holy Matrimony.. the gift of love..=)

Call me crazy..but's the song I've chosen.. incase I happen to get married..hehehe
  • From this moment..
  • You're still the one..
  • Only God could love you more..
  • When God made you..
  • Tonight
  • Truly Madly Deeply..
  • For you I will
  • Unbelievable
  • Sempurna!!..
I can't help it..every time I attend a wedding.. sure they'll have a song that catches my breath.. So I don't have no choice.. anything that leaves me worth my attention..=)

Anyway remember BRENDAN??.. BRENDAN ALOYSIUS ADWIEN??.. hehe.. I blogged about him..some time back..during HFC's leadership camp.. the 28th year old..with the voice of an angel??... I saw him again today..!!..he happened to be the bride's classmate.. such a small world huh?? and WOW!! can ask GLYNN WONG.. as she was sitting next to me.. how I was entering this different kinda world..the moment he started to sing.. I was mesmerized.. was amazed.. was literally DROPPING DEAD!! ..for he sang sooo beautifully that I felt like crying!!.. I've heard him before..a few times.. but this was beyond words.. he sang "the prayer" by celine dion and andre bocelli... and he nailed it!!...and also "you raise me up" by josh groban.. I swear I was dead..went back to heaven.. listened to an angel.. and was sent back alive.. to testify God's his people..

Seriously, if he aint entering the seminary..his girlfriend would be sooo very lucky!!..and trust me.. I myself would have gone after him.. lol.. which is a big deal.. hehe.. what you dont believe me??...haha.. yes, I only admire from afar.. not really the going forward and introducing myself kinda type.. sigh.. which I think I should change this perspective if I intend to get can just fall in love with his singing!!..

I wish I could win people's heart too.. not singing of cause.. yes I LOVE to sing.. but I cant sing for there must be something I'm good at..hmmm..

hehe.. I crapped a lot didnt I??.. dont blame me.. I do this when I'm dead tired.. long day again tomorow.. another wedding..and GRANDMA will be here!!..=) ...weeee.. hehehe..

wow..from MICHAEL BUBLE..i went to wedding.. from wedding..i went to songs.. from songs.. i went to singing.. from singing.. i went to GRANDMA??!!

see..I told ya..TIRED!!.. yikes..

something more interesting next time,..=)

lots of love,

Saturday, January 30, 2010


and there she goes again.....

She revealed..a little bit too much information on that one page..and now she has to deal with it.. =(

Ok so..I decided to blog after all.. Pretty crazy day today!!..had quite a lot of heart I'm still surprise to be alive to blog..after all the so-called attacks..hehe

Well..everything went on as YOUTH AWAKENING...great turnout..great songs.. great games... well..i wish I could say
it was even better..
Firstly...the crowd was twice the crowd we expected.. Secondly.. the games.. was ok-ok only...but still had fun laughing..hehehe.. thirdly..the PNW session..went haywire..cause one of the plug burst!!.. and I think its a teach PRAY before we begin anything..=).. Fourthly..we had some unexpected guests from klang..which was very very unexpected..and might be the biggest cause for my heart attack!!..=p ...fifthly..I went all around the church..chasing AMANDA and ANN...for my bag!!..=(

So what do you think??..hmm no point answering... I can't exactly hear you..hehe..=p

So i'll tell you what I think..
  • I think that when God is at work...the devil is clearly at work too.. this explains the ELECTRIC SHOCK!!
  • I think...there's nothing wrong in running after someone for your bag like a little lifeless gal... Yes it made me look silly.. but hey..who knows someone might actually STEAL your bag someday... its not a safe world out there.. so yeah.. you get to practice on how to get it back..and buck up on your running skills..=p ..besides..YES!! ..i had lots of fun.. =D dont mind doin it again..only in a much secluded area..hehehe..
  • I think that God's ways are very unpredictable..very mysterious.. something I've heard many many times.. but still unable to grasp it..for I can't see..what he's trying to tell me..
  • I think..sometimes.. SURPRISES..are very healthy.. very good medicine.. that could totally change your whole boring day!! hehehehe...
  • I think..that I had a fruitful day..overall.. especially towards the ending..=D

So that's pretty much how it went..

hmmm...but there's something else on my mind..

its gonna happen anytime soon... and noo..she's not ready for it.. will never be ready for it.. but yes.. she's got to face it..sooner or later.. whether she like it or not...=(

Lord, unto your hands..I'll leave this matter..
By your side..I'll claim my place..
On your wings..I'll still cling on..
No matter how bad it turned out!!


Friday, January 29, 2010 general

"You can be a sweet dream..or a beautiful nightmare.. Either way I don't wanna wake up from you..."

hmmm...I haven't been dreaming much lately..which is a good thing i guess..cause nothing is bothering me.. or maybe..I'm just extremely tired..hehe.. know..why some people dream??.. its cause they tend to think about that person..or that event..CONSTANTLY!! ..and eventually it'll appear on their dream... but will do more research on it la.. so far..only this i know..=)

Anyway..the post about my friends..I'll save it for the next k??..lazy to upload the pics now..hehe..

So the girlse..were talking about their relationships...hehe..of cause I didnt say a word about mine.. cause.. firstly, its like really lame...and I hate to show 'stupid-ness' ...secondly.. it's like really long..and too many connection here and there..meaning I had to a yeah..

So I make a post...of guys in far I've known off...
  • Guys..whom you have a huge crush on... and you dont dare to talk to him.. for you know..the chances for EMBARRASSMENT to take just toooo big!!
  • Guys whom you still have a huge crush on..but turns out to be a total JERK!! ...and then you look back and think.."OMG!!..what in the world is wrong with me??..of all persons..I chose..HIM??" ..eehhww.. lol
  • Guys who meant to break a girls emotion=HEARTLESS!!
  • Guys who are..erm..OBSSESED with you!!...the control freak.. you've given them a hint.."I'm not interested in you!!" ..and yet..every morning..every night.. after all your classes... there's a message from them...yikes!!...
  • Guys who are totally immature...totally absurd.. haven't gotten a single idea..on how the world works.. who gives pathetic get rid of you!!..
  • Guys who are very respectful and extremely sweet..for once you tell them.. that you guys are not meant to be... and thats were..they'll stand..=)
  • Guys who are your flirt friends... where you can talk to them about anything.. and you know..THEY wont take it seriously...*lim, wai yuen*..=p..hehe..
  • Guys who recognizes you as a friend..only when they need you..or do not have anywhere to go... worst still..they didnt need your presence..when you needed them the most..=(..and yet.. you have no tell it to their face!!
  • Guys whom you can talk about everything..and anything...who to make you laugh till you cant laugh anymore!!..who annoys you to the max...and still you enjoy his company...=D
  • Guys..whom you're just dying to find out what his thoughts are...whether or not you manage to make it to his mind and his heart...who maybe..just maybe..feels the same about you.. but no one wants to make a move!!...and it kills!! yeah..actually there's more... a lot of defferent kinda personalities.. attitudes.. likes..dislikes.. but so far..these are the ones..that kinda left some impact in me..=)

why I posted it??..hehehe...nothing else to do..=p

anyway..will call it off a night!!..
god bless..

Thursday, January 28, 2010

the definition of love..

So I was in expository writing class yesterday..
And Ms Lilian asked us to write a paragraph on "how do you define love..?" ...

Interesting..I thought..and was so eager to idea why..but I have a feeling I know a lot about love...and am a really big fan of it..=).. Where in actual fact..I happen to be very unlucky in that particular department..sigh...but its ok..I know my time aint here yet!! patiently I'll wait.. to be the missing piece in someones life..=)...LOL..but then..I couldn't help but this sentence is determined to stay on my mind..."she's just a teen!!..what does she know about..L-O-V-E??"...

Well...true indeed.. what did I know about LOVE..?? ...but still..I took out my pen and paper.. And begin..."Love is..." ...then I went blank again.. apparently my brain chose that particular have a 'BRAIN FREEZE' ...i couldn't think..of the proper words.. Its like..a part of me..rejects this WEIRD FEELING.. I could hear..Sam saying.."love is friendship" .. I agreed.. but there was soo much more than much deeper..

I was still cracking my head..when something appeared on my mind... take a look on top!! I wrote down.."LOVE IS LIKE A ROSE.. beautiful they say..but only the thorns know the hurt it carries... Yet the hands that created a whole new meaning to love.." ...=)..and I added.. Love is beyond cannot be seen..only felt deep withing!!" ...
hehehe.. i was thanking my blog then...=)

and crazy friends.. oh yeah..I forgot to introduce them... will do so in my next post!!..=) ..when ms lilian asked a volunteer to read it out aloud.. they quickly put up my hand.. sigh.. and you know me... I'm like the.."suffer in silence" kinda type... publicity is not how i get people's but i didnt have any my hand was already up in air.. so with a trembling voice... I read mine aloud.. and hehehe... i heard a round of applause!!... lol.. not bad ar??... and ms lilian...commented.. it was very original..straight from the heart..=)

of cause it is... then I realized...I already know what love is... I was born out of love.. healed out of love.. why even..saved out of love..and indeed..that's how the story begun... and I carry a responsibility spread that those who has got no idea..what love is about...=)

and I think you share the same responsibility as well..=)

have a nice day!!..

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


"If I'm not made for you.. then why does my heart tells me that I am..?"

hmmm..I have absolutely nothing to blog about today.. everything stays the same.. Had a few weird dreams today...had been living a weird life lately.. I can't sleep at night!!... then in the morning.. I can't wake up!! ..sigh..

I've been thinking of chocolates lately.. milk chocolates..peanut chocolate.. white chocolate.. bitter chocolate.. cheese chocolate..chocolate ice cream...

then guess what??..i received this!!

THE CHOCOLATE BOXES ARE EDIBLE TOOO!! heheeh..amazing huh??..

anyway..I remember watching this movie..called.."just deserts" in hallmark channel.. where the guy proposed her by putting the RING inside the chocolate edible box!! but she didnt fall in love with him..or agreed to marry him.. she fell in love with the CHOCOLATE..and the guy who made the chocolate!!..hehehe..its a bit complicated to explain it here.. you should watch it yourself!!... nice movie..=)

sigh...i just wasted my time uploading some useless stuffs rite??..

way to go Juan...another 'intelligent' post..argh..

well..well at know I'm a chocolate yeah..some big time discovery..hehe

I'll call it a nite!!..
take care..god bless!!

p/s I'm a bit abnormal..when the heart is restless..and the mind is tangled!!..=S

Monday, January 25, 2010

I'm worth so much more..=)

"Janganlah..kau tinggalkan..diriku...
Takkan mampu menhadapi semua..
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa...."

Phewww...class till 5PM...came back home..did an ULTRA-SUPER FAST CHANGING.. rushed to play badminton with CRYSTAL & Shashi at 6PM... and now.. here I am..barely alive.. still.. its not an EXCUSE to not blog..hehehe...

How was my day??..pretty crazy.. I love MR KEN CHONG'S class!!..My MASS COM lecturer..though its at 8AM on a MONDAY!!..never once did he make me feel it was a waste coming to his class..though many feels he's tooo straight foward..but I think he's one of a kind.. he always gives me a reason to think..not to mention his absolute humor..that never fail to make me matter how lame it sounds..hehehe...

And then met up with some crazy bunch of people...hehe.. I'm not trying to stereotype or anything.. its just that...being an ARTS based soooo different compared to a SCIENCE BASED student.. In arts... its not about getting the correct and exact ANSWER through the formalae and calculations.. Its about how you do the reasoning.. how you make your mind..THINK beyond IMAGINATION!! out of the box!! you're not only involve the things around you..but HOW you reach out to others.. based on YOUR communication...YOUR WRITTING!!..theres no fact involve...only YOUR own making a change out this crazy world..

To make it simple.. being in an ARTS based world.. you tend to have a lot more fun..but of cause.. the challenges you far more riskier as well... well..I'm saying all this based on my own experience and observation.. but I AGREE..both Science and Arts are important!! theres no such THE SCIENCE STUDENT ARE SMARTER..and all that crap..=)

So did I make the right choosing my career line??...hehehehehehe..ABSOLUTELY!! that ONE year wait..was SO worth it!! ..I love what I'm studying now.. even the drawings.. Infact some even complimented on them.. hehe..=)..

Amazing huh?? God works..?? ...He makes you wait impatiently..only to GIVE YOU THE BEST!! .. He tests every single nerve of see..which one snaps.. He messes up your head..only to draw a BIGGER smile on your face... =) ...

So incase..your wondering..why arent your prayers answered?? why am I still wondering out in the cold..all alone?? ..well.. it only means God planning something really big for you!!... LOOSEN UP your when HE tests wont snap that easily!!..Sharpen your faith.. it's a very good weapon to fight the devil!! ..DO NOT PUT A FULLSTOP...where GOD has placed A COMMA..yes indeed..HE has a plan..=)

Aren't we all have HIM choose US as His child?? I couldn't ask for anything more..

Thank YOu Lord...for everything I've been through till the day I was this moment on..=)

well..gues thats it for today...

wait.. one more last thing... I am soooo thru being taken for granted... sooo done with those who thinks..I'm a trophy..that needs to be dusted once in a while.. and when I start shinning..they put me back on the shelf..=( ...those who only need me..when they've no one by their side... what am I?? ..some kinda recycling item??...sigh..and somewhere somehow...I know I got to face this matter how much I deny it and how ugly it is the truth..

I'm sorry for the hashness...but according to my CREATOR..I'm worth soooo much more than that.. =) ..

take care...and God bless...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

wonderously different..

weird...either my blog is like really good..or you guys are damm actually view my lifeless blog..when I'm literally on a blog strike!..hehehe.. 25 views today..hmmm.. yeap yeap.. I'll go for the second choice as well.. =)

Anyway I realize...why quit doing something I like..just cause my life's messed up?? ..I mean who knows..a car might run over me..or UCSI building might get burnt down tomorrow..and the next thing I family is doing the funeral arrangements for me... and I might as well grant my sis's wish to play the song "SHOWERS OF BLESSING" for my funeral..and also for my EULOGY..where she's determined to say..."FINALLY SHE'S GONE..!" thats why..I wanna leave my thoughs..and nonsense case..anyone misses me or

I'm crapping again aren't I??..=(

argh..I also decided to blog let you guys know..that I'm PERFECTLY fine!! ..cause yes..I did have a few comments asking whether.."am I alrite??" ..and when I asked..'y??" ..they say..I read your
But seriously..thanks for the concern..*you know who you are* fine!!..never better infact!!

I'm done with all my assignments..though i'm half-hearten.. to know whats in store tomorrow.. I'm gonna walk in that door..determine to go forward..put the weight of the WORLD on His shoulders.. stick it WITH PERMANENT UHU GLUE!!.. couldn't careless about how I look and what I wear..with the biggest smile on my face.. and I'm gonna make the day worthwhile!!..HOW??..hehehe..that's the best part of life isnt it.. you have got no idea whats gonna happen.. still YOU HAVE NO CHOICE but to play along.. and its up to YOU to make it interesting or...NOT!! ..yeah..I'm gonna make the rest of my life LIKE HEAVEN!! ... I dont know how..but I'm gonna do it!!...lame..i know..hehe..but hey..its my life your talking deal with it!!..=)

By the way..some..erm..someone with a wide VOCAB and unpredictable thinking..came up with another word for WEIRD since I was complaining..its the ONLY word..people use to DESCRIBE ME so from now on..I'M NOT WEIRD..I'm just.."WONDEROUSLY DIFFERENT!!" ..hehehe.. Yes I like it..very much!! .. a word which is labelled as NEGATIVE..could sound soooo...erm..UNIQUE.. thank God for vocabs!!..and of cause..for that 'someone' too..=)

But that doesnt mean..I have to go on..with this weird thinking of mine.. hmm..its not like I asked for it..its just that..its already there!!... I didnt develop it on my own.. lol.. ok ok..I'll stop now..

ok...enough craps for today!!

dont worry..the blogging strike is over!!..=)
I have no choice..a part of me is empty..when I dont rant..

take care..god bless..


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Berita terkini..=p

Selamat sejahtera..kawan-kawan sekalian...

Berita utama hari ini..:

I'm on a blog STRIKE!! know it doesn't exist..its something I came up on my own.. I wanna long can I go..without blogging!!..and facebooking..erm..maybe only blogging la... we try one one...hehehe... facebook comes later k!!... you cannot deprive the drug addict one SHOT you see...its all the little steps that brings you on top of the mountain...not one BIG LEAP!! =)

Berita sukan hari ini..:

I sooooo need to get my work done..halfway completing my proposal.. and then have to start on my DRAWING MARATHON..rather than screwing up my life in this one page here!!... yeap!!...She strikes revealing her deepest and darkest secret..dayyymmmnn!!! ...

Ajaran moral pada hari ini..:

When is she gonna learn her lesson?? cyn gave me the answer.."Kau masih tak faham-faham sampai sekarang ni!!..dia itu sama je..macam 'male' lain!!" ...hehehe... we wanted to polish out BM you see..=p

Sabarlah menunggu berita seterusnya..:

anyway..the blog striking..starts right after this post..=)
wish me luck!!...hehehehe...

terima kasih..dan salam menonton

p/s Lord, thank you for waking me up from dreams!!..=)

Renew me..

Ok..I just finished reading Amanda Quah's blog..erm..I've linked you can read..what is it about..=)..and it got me thinking..OMG!!..WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING??!! ...

I remember when I was 16..after my first "break-up" ..I promised..not to say "yes" ..unless I felt something for that someone too.. and then at 19..well I thought I felt something..but when it that didnt work out as well..I promise myself..not to fall for anyone..toooo soon!! ..and not to 'date' the same person TWICE!! ..

err..but now... I mean..its not like I'm breaking my promises..its just that...ARGH!! I wished..I had my blog.."PRIVATIZE!!" ..cause now the whole world..will share my dumbness!!.. So this means..I have to SENSOR everything I'm about to write..sigh..

But something tells me.. err..noo..I know its not gonna work out.. BUT BUT!! ..sigh.. Who can ever understand that opposite species??..One minute they're all over you..and the next.. they pretend you DON'T exist..and they have the nerve to call us girls..COMPLICATED!! what the hell right??..and yes..I've had enough of all this crap!!

Anyway I think its time...I come back to earth..and drop all this love game thing.. I left my heart I'm going to get it back!!..

Dear Lord..
It's been ages since I last wrote to you.. I feel like I've distance myself quite faraway..from where you are..
I didnt mean too...
Its just that..I've indulge myself too much in human nature..that I can't hear Your voice anymore.. I can't feel your presence anymore..
Its fading away.. and I'm losing it all..
Yes, it hurts..but I know it hurts YOU see me live like this..
I know the word SORRY..may not carry a meaning anymore..
When you repeat the same mistake OVER and OVER again..*like cyn says..*..sigh
But then again..You keep on ACCEPTING my sorries..and carry me on Your shoulders again..
WHY??....What did I do to deserve YOU in my life?? I only hurt in..every second I get chance.. haizzz...
I wish there was something I could do..or make it all right again..
It's not suppose to be like this..It can't..not NOW..not EVER..

I have a praise and worship session to Friday..for YOUTH AWAKENING..
Would you me find my me find You in me..
Before I step my leading Your people..
I need You every moment in my life..though I never got the chance to say it..
But yes..I do..I really do..=(
I don't know what gave me the idea to agree to this..but somehow You saw it in me..
and You want me to give it back to you..what you gave me..
But No..
No, I cant do it by myself.!!.please..
I need Your help..badly!!..

Maybe this song..can express my feelings..

RENEW Avalon..

Why am I such a dusty window
For your light to shine through?
Why am I just a tiny star
In a sky already blue?
Why do I offer everything
With my heart closed like a fist?
I want to love you better than this

Why do I live like I'm in chains
When You have set me free?
And why do I have to break Your heart
Before I fall to my knees?
I know it's time to pray for change
Give all I have to give
I want to love You better than this

So renew me, Remake me
Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me
Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your living through me
Renew me

I need You as my refuge
My first and last resort
Be the river always running
Through my deepest thoughts
Keep me in Your arms
'Cause even when I drift
I want to love You better than this

So renew me, Remake me
Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me
Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your living through me
Renew me

My life bending to Your will
Seeking You until I'm more and more like You

So renew me, Remake me
Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me
Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me..

I've always loved this song.. when I was faraway from home..2 years back.. this song was my guide!!..listened to it every single day!! should listen to it too..=)

P/S Lord.. You know my story.. You know everything on my mind.. You know what I'm goin to say..and You've already have the answer to all.. I do not wanna know the answer..

Just please..let not shed a tear..for that species of YOURS again.. It wont be worth it!!..


sorry..I accidentally deleted my
anyway..this post is truly original..from the heart and soul of Juan Margrita..
and so is the rest..

Take care..for now..

Friday, January 22, 2010

10 things I hate about you..

"Because a GUY like you is impossible to find..
Your impossible to find.." ...fall for you-secondhand serenade..

Firstly..if your smart, you'll ignore my last post.. and save your time by asking.."who the hell is he??" ..cause no..I'm aint saying a word..cause I know I look like some "love struck DUMB teen!!".. hehe
Secondly..last night..or this had the weirdest..most beautiful dream ever!!.. hehe.. Normally I'll wake feeling afraid..and say.."thank God its only a dream.." ..seriously I dreamed mostly about murders..and somehow I'll be the CRIME SCENE a hero.. trying to find the murderer..but of cause..I always woke up..BEFORE I find them..or ended up catching the wrong person..hehe..
sigh...I'm so grateful for dreams...arent you??.. THEY MAKE THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE.. and you get up..with a smile on your face..hoping that'll come true.. I saw this quote somewhere.. where it says..

"The best moments in life..cannot be seen..but only felt deep within..that's why you close your eyes...when you kiss..when you cry.. and when you dream.." =) true huh??

So despite all those assignments pilling up..I manage to find the time to watch ,,"10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU!!" ..and some time to blog about it..

So here's my 10 things I hate about you..

I hate the way you annoy me and drive me up the wall..then keep me coming back for more..
I hate it when you make me realize..there's always some hope matter how hard it seems..
I hate it..when I had the worse day ever..and how you make it so making me laugh like crazy..
I hate the fact that I can't go on a minute without the thought of you in my mind..
I hate the way my heart acts whenever your name appears in my mobile..
I hate the fact..that you live a thousand miles apart..but remain close to my heart..
I hate myself for wanting to tell my day went on..and how much I missed you..
I hate the thought of you..having someone else..but me..on your mind..and by your side..
I hate it when I know that someone like impossible to find..
I hate to hope..and still hoping..that somewhere..somehow.. I'll find the way to your heart..

THERE!! ...hehe..My own version of "10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU!!" guys should come out with your own.. I had fun writing it..hehe

Actually I can go on and on..but I need to get some house chores done first!!..=)
And yes..once in a while..I have to be a girl..whether I like it or not..=p



So this is confession..some typical lame stuff..

To whom??...hehehehe... *ehem..ehem* ...thats my lil secret..=)
  • I don't care what you do..or doing..or about to do..
  • I don't care if your thinking of me or not..
  • I don't care if someone else is standing by your side..
  • I don't care..if the next SMS I receive whether or signed by your name..
  • I'm not gonna think of every song I listen too..
  • I will stop tossing and turning all night..the moment you appear on my mind..
  • I will stop smiling to myself..when I .....*this part is erased*
  • I will not think of you anymore...

THERE!!...I finally said it... now if only..I can DO it!!..
haizz..what a bad liar am I... knowing I can't..thinking I CAN!!

It kinda sucks rite..when you have a lot to say..but you cant breathe a word to that person.. its even worse..when you're dying to know..whats on their mind.. but they keep you a damm YO-YO on their finger!!... if kinda hurts too.. when you cant do nothing about it but only wish the best for them...sigh.. worries.. I miss being yeah...

take care..

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Incy-wincy spider

I refuse to blog today...due to some unavoidable circumstances!!..=( ..err not that anyone is actually waiting for my post... hmmm

Note to self..:
NEVER EVER put those hopes up again!! ..cause..

"the incy wincy spider..climbing up the spout.. Down came the RAIN and wash the spiders out!!"

Forget about the sun..apparently at that period..the sun never came out..and little incy wincy spider..never made it to the spout!! It got washed away to a whole different world!!..No one ever heard about it again..=(


Nice or not my story??..hehehe..
the ending is a bit screwed up since there's no HAPPILY EVER AFTER there..and again..I simply refuse to re-do it!!

tak ada mood!!...=(


take care..god bless

p/s ..I'm not I wish I could give a reason too..!! ..sigh..

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


before I start..a BIG ROUND OF Miss Juan Margrita Gabriel Thomas!!.. for actually finishing 16 SKETCHES IN 4 HOURS!!! ..yiiipppeeeee!!.... dont ask me how..dont ask
me why..*not in a mood for long essays...* lol.. but I DID IT!! .. AMEN!!..

By the way.. did I say..that all my lecturers..pronounce my name as ..."HU-AN" ..gosh..the first time I smiled..the second time I controlled..the third time I was making up either CHANGE MY NAME..or CHANGE MY SEX!! ..which of cause.. I only TALK BIG.. but never dared try it.. or perhaps thats what I should start doing from now on..DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.. just go all out for the horizone.. fly wherever the wind takes me..though I might get struck by lightning.. or end up on top of the to a SNAKE!!..or who knows.. I can fly to where TAYLOR LAUTNER is.. then can kiss my studies goodbye..and HAPPILY EVER AFTER comes in the and this is the moment..where my MOM'S FACE APPEAR!!..sheeshh.. potong steam only..hehe

I like my name..I dont think anyone in the world has it.. since its a BISEXUAL name..hehe.. but then again..when someone pronounces it WRONGLY!! pressure shoots high up!!.. I could feel the "geram-ness" in me..hehe..

Anyway..I actually wanna blog about something else.. something that's been disturbing me for the past two years..something that I thought is GONE FOREVER..something that's maybe, probably, possibly might be happening.. something which I dont think I can blog about it today..looking at my PC CLOCK..which has strike 2AM!! ..and I have 8AM class tomorow..sigh..

Something..hmmm...or perhaps someone??

or maybe I wont even blog about

Good nite!!..
Thank You lord..for helping me in my assignment!!..
God bless

Monday, January 18, 2010

why study??

Is it possible for quit college..and maybe get married??..

I mean who needs all these 8-5pm classes.. the endless assignments.. the lecture notes that's begging to be read... the pen that needs ink replacement.. the time taken to decide.."what should I wear today??" .. the lecturer's faces..that seriously needs a face from Heath Ledger in DARK NIGHT.."why so serious??" ..hehe

And not forgetting...last BUT NOT LEAST..the train torture..whereby some nutcase almost lost 'her' leg while running after the useless train..which is usually delayed..but was 3 minutes EARLY!!, ITS ME!!.. who else can be dumb enough to knock the iron ticket railing..with a laud "bang"..that I swear..everyone TURNED and starred at me..

Despite the stinging pain in my leg..I sempat show my 32 pairs of teeth while everyone's brain was processing the fact that they're starring at some mad lady..with her school bag, an oversized white with colourful "stars" sweater..with a pink top..and sport shoes..not to dangling earrings as well.. please dont start imagining.. you'd probably imagine a clown or something..hehehe..

And now..I have to use the hot-water reduce the swelling on my thighs.. not to mention the blue-black patch on it.. I cant believe I hurt myself..just to catch that nasty train.. at least the cute guy also..could have been worth while..=p

Which brings us back to the main question.. GETTING MARRIED??.. sounds interesting.. only theres two tiny-winy problem..
  1. NO LOVE
  2. NO MONEY...
Which answers our core QUESTION.. the need to study..

Ok..something is so wrong somewhere... I mean you dont study.. to gain more love and more money??.. can't be.. so what's the purpose of studying??..Friends.. oh yeah.. I met some awesome people today..=D .. meaning..maybe, just maybe.. I was meant to go to UCSI..=p

arghhh..lets just screw STUDYING aite!!.. by the time i figure out the answer.. I'll be missing a whole lotsa other stuff out there..=p

I'm crapping again..aint I??..sigh

p/s why cant they have a LOCK to lock certain websites??.. I mean..something 0r SOMONE has to prevent me from BLOGGING and FACEBOOKING.. while I do my research...hehe..

take care..and god bless..

the day..

Let's summarize the whole day in sentences..instead of

Moral for the day.."NEVER SLEEP TOOOOO LONG IN THE AFTERNOON!!..cause now..I CANT SLEEP!!" ..=(

Food for the day..."MOM'S HOME MADE NASI LEMAK!!"=D

Friend for the day..."MELLISA JAMES" ..the organist in church.. for trying to teach me how to play the organ..which of cause never really happened..cause we ended up laughing like crazy..for silly things.."=D

News for the day.."BERNADETTE going for ballet classes!!.."

Achievement for the day.."FINISHED MY writing ASSIGNMENT!!" ..weeeeeeeeeee!!!

Quote for the day... "It is always between you and the GOD.. it was NEVER between you and the world.."

Hobby for the day..."Slept!! a pig!!" =D ...

Animal for the day.."the damm rat..that's been eating mom's potatoes!!" ..

Excitement for the day.."teaching my std 5 students..for the first time this year.."

Disappointment for the day.."New students are extremely naughty and fussy!!..Miss my old students!!" ...=(

Crush for the day..."that dude from my dream!!" felt like i've known him forever..

Song for the day.."CLOSE YOUR westlife...." ...

Anytime that we find ourselves apart..

"Just close your eyes..
And you'll be here with me..
Just look to your heart..
And that's where I'll be..
If you just close your eyes..
Till your drifting away..
You'll never be too far from me..
If you close your eyes.."

Lover for forever.."JESUS!!"

Good night..and God bless..

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A bad girl..

My hand hurts... thats a change..normally i'll say 'the hearth hurts..'

anyway.. I dont get it..I mean i didnt go for any strainers exercise.. neither did I play badminton recently.. or arm wrestle with anyone..ok I did write a couple of pages of essay.. but that should hurt my fingers..not my hand.. when I say 'hand' im talking about above my wrist till my elbow.. Or what else could hand mean??..the whole thing is called..'ARM' right?? or is it HAND?? haizz..

OH NOOOO!! did I just write a whole paragraph about the topic HAND?? ..God, help this girl, on the keyboard..she's scarring the readers out there..with her NONSENSE!! ..but it does HURT K!!

Anyway..I found out something new today.. the person whom YOU EXPECTED to be good.. who would never do anything to hurt another.. who wants a live like its heaven on earth..does not exist!! ..cause when the right moment comes.. someting will snap somewhere.. and all the trust you have built will be ruined in a second!!..

One example.... the east Christians..who threw bottles to the mosque..

another example... me...=(

Yes..ME!!...sigh.. I admit I'm a jerk.. I do not deserve a place in this earth.. I've terribly hurt that one person..whom I know.. is willing to trade her life with me... will walk through heaven and she was given the chance!!..

sigh.. I'm truly sorry.. I hardly loose my temper.. it was just that once.. It was all too much.. I'm so sorry..

I know you wont be reading this..but still..I'm very very sorry..

If I could turn back time.. I would gladly replace all those stuff with something pleasing..


Thursday, January 14, 2010

dont feel belonged..=(

"It must have been love..but it's over now.."

I cant seem to get that song out of my mind.. I dont know who sang it..and whats the title.. but that's the beginning of the chorus I think..hehe..only remember that particular line.. I always have this problem.. in not remembering the "title" ..=( and PC speakers are not working.. really torturing..already been a month.. any my ears are less sensitive to songs already..which is realllllyyy a bad thing!!...='(

Sigh..I'm beginning to wonder..
Did I really make the right decision in going to UCSI??..cause..I don't really feel belonged there.. It's so different when I'm in UTAR.. although those public transportation and useless management was getting into my nerves..the people there..are extremely nice.. though I annoy them to the max..the still want me in!! =D can I explain this.. OH YES!!..its like a piece of jigsaw puzzle.. you have to find the piece with right size and fit in the other complete the picture..=) Get it??

Not to say people in UCSI comes in alienated shapes and sizes..they're nice.. Just that.. I feel something is so wrong somewhere.. like its all too fake.. like a drama..that somehow I feel the director made a really bad choice in offering me this I seriously suck at it..*some big time actress..* ..hehe.. its like I'm a whole different person when I'm with them..hmm

Or perhaps its just me.. who needs to loosen the grip a bit..and not be too judgmental.. hmmm.. and the 'emo' feeling is coming back!!..sigh.. but why??...

Yikes..lets change topic.. My assignment for this week.. I'm suppose to write an essay.. the topic I chose wass "my most embarrassing moment.." ..hehe..yeah tell me about it.. I have been through a lot of humiliation..and now its hard to make a choice..hehe.. but I have one mind.. and even if I were given a choice to go out on a date with TAYLOR LAUTNER..I'M NEVER GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!..its way to embarrassing.. but but..its TAYLOR LAUTNER!!... Come on!!..its not everyday you get to go out..with the HAWTEST DUDE ever!!..=p.. and who could be love at first sight...hahahahahaha...*back to earth, back to earth..Juan!!* .. lol.. I dream way toooo much..=(

anyway..moms nagging about studying AGAIN!!.. I dont get it!!..its only the first week of class!!.. I need to get use to the studying atmosphere, you see.. been away from the books for the past month.. I barely know how to read..what more hold the pencil.. hhahahaha... oh NOO!! ..I'm back to the crapping mood again... I hate myself for this..=(

Guess just about it.. have some serious 'life-catching-up" moment to do..=p

Good night dear bloggers!!..=D

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My ideal partner..and ice-cream..=p

I'm having an unimaginably terrible head-ache!! shootss...its only the third day..and all these nonsense happening..=( ...

Anyway a lot happen today.. like how I saw the wrong timing..and ended up in the wrong venue..realize they changed the VENUE!!..arghh not to mention..had to walk all the the 4th floor..for about 3 times..I refused to use the I THOUGHT I was late.. and wanted to do some exercise..=p.. entered the wrong class..once again had everyone's eyes on me..quickly left the class..with the sweetest and most embarrassing smile I ever had..=D..promise myself to bang my head when I reach home....and to top it all.. I HAVE MY FIRST DRAWING ASSIGNMENT!! ..interesting day..isnt it??..hehe

I have this subject called EXPIRATORY WRITING..and so my 19 years of life..I think this is far most my FAVORITE SUBJECT!! ..because..firstly, it doesn't involves any research or any assignment crap..NO FACTS!!..Just plain writing..about your own opinions, feelings and thoughts!! ..weeeeeeee!!..seeee...sometimes among the 'bad' things that occurred..there is surely some good left..though its not that BIG..its just ENOUGH to make my day!!!! ..hehe

So since I missed the first class.. the students are suppose to write about.."MY IDEAL PARTNER AND ICE CREAM!!" ..=P whereby I'm suppose to describe my ideal partner..through an ice-cream..hehe..weird..but lets try!! Since its an I have to use proper English.. I'll make it sound as interesting as possible..=)


Ice-cream seems to be every child's heavenly dream. It was mine too. Being an ordinary over sized little girl, my heart used to skip a beat every time I hear the ice-cream vendor with his incredibly cute hon passing by in front of my house. My mom, being the normal 'mom' never gave in to my pleas. "You'd catch a cold!", she would say even after I got down on my knees and threaten her with my crocodile tears.

What is it about that one cone or stick, covered with a scoop of frozen cream that seem to mesmerized almost every eyes that fell on it? In my opinion, I think an ice-cream doesn't carry a value if it only looks delicious on the outside but tasteless on the inside. For example, the famous 'Walls Cornetto' Ice-cream is not only every child's dream but also adults. The taste of the plain vanilla cream, coated with delicious triangle shaped chocolate and topped with nuts can be extremely mouth watering to everyone, even those who dislikes ice-cream. And after tasting it, you know that RM2.80 is worth it.

My ideal partner definitely cost a lot more than just an ice-cream but has to have the same qualities as this favorite food of mine.

Firstly, just as ice-cream has made every child smile, he has to make me smile as well. It's really not that hard considering the fact that I laugh for every single thing. Secondly, an ice-cream has no use if it only looks sumptuous on the packaging but taste gross when it enters your mouth. A guy has to be pure in the heart as beauty comes from within. Physical beauty may fade in time to come but a beautiful heart holds its beauty forever. Thirdly and most importantly, my partner must love God more than he loves me, just as the ice-cream loves the money more compared to the ones who eats it. Fourthly, ice-cream loves children and so must my partner. Fifthly, which is a bit different from ice-cream, my partner should never leave me although I'm down with a cold. Lastly, an ice-cream seems to melt like crazy when I'm with it, my ideal partner should melt ever more when he's with me.

As a conclusion, he has to make my heart skip a beat although my mom forbids it. It's not easy to find a soul mate with the perfect packaging but its also not impossible. Love can only be defined when the right person comes along.


I was trying my best to not laugh..cause it just seem so weird without my double dots and "LOL" and "HAHAHAHA" , my seriously.. I'm so used to writing these stuffs..hope my formal writing norms still exist!!..hehe

anyway..I got to go get started with my drawings.. ttyl..=)

p/s ...the application now has been re-open after months and months of construction.. so anyone interested..kindly get the application form and fill it up!!..dont forget to que up..cutting lines will be terminated IMMEDIATELY!! may the best win!! hurry up!! ...=p ..hehehehe..

ok ok..i'll stop being vain and cut the crap.hehe..

and was just kidding k!!..=p

take care!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

1st official day..

I learned about male and female's brain today..hehe.. I'm not surprised when I found out that 60% of a male's brain constantly thinks of SEX!!..while 65% of a female's brain thinks of COMMITMENT!! huh?? TIMETABLE IS APPROVED!!!..WEEEEEEEEEEEE!! know what this means?? I DO NOT HAVE CLASSES ON FRIDAYS!!...ALLELUIA!! ..I've always been waiting to have a week day OFF..and its a FRIDAY as well!! weeeeee!!..

And trust me..I think all UNIVERSITIES..has MANAGEMENT problem!!..Rude and inconsiderate stuff!!.. God knows how long I waited.. I had to miss TWO classes!! Thank God my parents educated me well in my manners.. or else.. sigh.. I also dont know what I'll do.. But I'm well words can be very hurtful.. *Yes, it can!!..* ..thats why I rather be blur.. than being AWARE.. lol..

By the way..guess who came to see me??!!..heheh..LIM JIN HAN!! long lost bf!!..ok hahahhahaa..erm.. ok la..he didnt literally COME TO SEE ME.. lol ..but at least he was willing enough to take the trouble to call me..and ask about the right meet!! =D but it was like high school moments..only thing..we're not in our uniforms..and it only last for an hour..=( lol... should meet up more..=)

this is something to ponder on..=)

I asked for Strength.........
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom.........
And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity.........
And God gave me brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage.........
And God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love.........
And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors.........
And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted ........
I received everything I needed!

take care..and god bless


My eyes is itching again!!..argh~~!!

I'm an officially registered student in UCSI!!...weeee!!..and the trials I endured to complete my BEYOND description!!..haiz..I had to return to UTAR about 3 times wei!!.. *Dont ask!!* I'm hating myself for that...more than my mom and sis hates me..: mom for wasting the petrol..and sis for driving me there!!..sigh.. But I'm glad that it has ended!!..=)

Thank You Lord..though I was "that" close to "snapping.." ..thank You for assuring me that its gonna be alright..and letting me trust You completely.. instead of taking things into my own hands..and yes..You do work things in Your own time..=)

Anyway was really really busy the past few days.. I'm sure jacynta is probably on her way to rip me off into pieces..for NOT replying her MESSAGES!!.. Girl, when you get the chance to read this..I'M SOOOO ExTREMELY SORRY!!..I know you still love me no matter what!!..and LOVE YA TOO!!..=D

One more thing... I wanna watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!! ..already download it..but I dont dare watch it alone!! I like horror movies..but I dont dare watch it with my eyes open.hehe.. really.. when the demon or monster..or ghost comes out.. I close my ears..and crazy I know...and then at night..I'd be ruining my turning left and right..CAUSE I CANT SLEEP!!.. and still..I love watching Horror movies.. But I think I'll watch it at the cinema first..before watching at home..=)

Anyway..7 churches in 3 days!!..

Dear Lord..
At your dying still found the courage to say.."Father, forgive them..they do not know what they're doing.."..

And so..I humbly bow down..and plead to forgive them..for they do not know what they're doing..

And please Lord.. help me not embarrassed myself in my first official day in UCSI tomorrow..which is quite impossible.. still.. if I do..will You promise to stay with me till the end..??=( ..its less stressful.. when You're not in it alone..=)


Have a nice day people!!..
and continue praying for this damaged country..

Saturday, January 9, 2010

My life is HIS!!

Finally I've found something intelligent to post..and this is one of my favorites..=) where you fight for peoples right.. this happens to be MY OWN a a catholic..=D

A couple of days ago..looking at the situation the country is in..I was thinking..could it be possible that they will start blasting the churches here??...NAHHHH!!... they can't be that dumb..I mean come on!!..its Malaysia..we're much civilized than most of the countries in Asia!!

Then this sister had an SMS saying.."ASSUMPTION CHURCH might GET BURNT DOWN!!" Please pray.. The moment I heard what she said..I was like..WHAT??!! show me the MESSAGE!!" ..And after that similar messages about other churches..were forwarded.. The worst I feared has indeed came true!!..sigh..

I had this weird kind feeling.. like.."Something is sooooo wrong!!" ..Yes of cause..this is wrong.. Its not everyday you get messages saying.."hey watch out!! HFC might be on the next burnt list!!

Even at the thought of that "THOUGHT"..could send me shivers through my spine.. One question silently but sympathetically appeared in my mind.."But why..WHY do they hate us sooo much??" ..Arent we allowed to fight for..what is rightfully ours??..if our positions were switched..wouldn't they do the same thing??..wouldn't they fight for their rights?? and WE WON it fair and square.. No bribery.. no cheating.. just the TRUTH!!

But of cause we wont do the same thing they did..WO WONT go around blasting MOSQUES!! that's what makes us different from their religion.. The burn our churches..and we still call them FRIENDS!! .. =D

I'm sure their religion teaches the same.. Every religion teaches about LOVE.. But where is that love today?? Blinded by the sight of money??..Blinded by the greed to take charge?? ..way to go GOVERMENT!! country is now FALLING APART!!

To be honest..the Islamic brothers.. are like our cousins.. why?? Jesus (Nabi Isa) and Nabi Muhammad were cousins.. and Isaac and Ibrahim..Abraham's sons.. were brothers.. Only difference.. they do not believe that CHRIST IS THE SON OF GOD.. but instead just an ordinary prophet..

Its pretty clear we believe in the same God..

I remember my sister used to cantor in Malay last time..during the BM Mass.. whereby the psalm goes like this,,"Ya Allah..kasihanilah kami..dan berkatilah kami" ..I was singing it the whole day today..=) Asking God to have pity on have pity on those who caused it..

But if they were to modify the court judgment..then THE SELANGOR ANTHEM ..CANT BE SuNG!! ..for it contains the word "ALLAH!!" ..or else it doesn't make any difference.. and we should be given the right to use it..=)

Then I received another SMS saying.."please remove all rosaries and religious articles..they are smashing down cars in Bangsar.." I was SHOCKED!! ..I didn't can go till that extend..

But I was thinking..was my car more important than MY GOD??!! so I told my sis.. "I'm not gonna remove anything!!" They wanna tear down the car..let them do it!! ..*I'm talking as if its my car..* I'm not sure bout my family..but if it was my car..I wouldn't remove anything..

Then my sister told bout this to Saha..and he said.."sometimes we got to think smartly.. getting rid of the rosaries..doesn't mean.. Your getting rid of JESUS.."..

hmm..sounds kinda rite.. but my heart was soo adamant.. then we went back home..and mom said.."I didn't remove anything from the car..neither am I gonna remove it!!" ...ceehh wah.. my MOM is speaking!!.. trust me..when she speaks..she makes the impossible seem possible!!..=) Guess I have some of her genes..hehe

She said..the cross is in a a PROTECTION..REMOVING like..your throwing away your own identity!!..Your afraid!!..of what your believing in.. A coward in the eyes of GOD!! A denial to your FAITH!!..your telling.."I'm sorry Lord.. just once.. please hide yourself away from me...or else MY CAR might get hurt!!"

Where is YOUR FAITH people??!! THIS GUY HUNG ON THE CROSS FOR YOU!! ..don't you think..HE is more than willing to protect you and your car..if only you ASK him to??..ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!...SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND!!..KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL BE OPEN UNTO YOU!!..Faith might seem like a small word..but remember WITH FAITH!!..even a mustard seed can move MOUNTAINS!!

Well my second choice is..SO WHAT IF YOU SMASH MY CAR?? yeah I agree.. i might have to spend a lil bit more to repair it.. but I'll be glad to do it!! I'm sure..He'll make a way out there for me.. ..They can even take my life..if they want it.. I'm all OUT for CHRIST!! Yes I am dead serious!!

Well..I'm still single.. Thank not married or having any wound be harder..but I wouldnt hesitate.. and I'm sure my family will support me!!.. Not in DYING!! ..but in STANDING UP FOR YOUR RELIGION..EVEN IF IT CAUSES YOU DEATH!! ..Dying for Christ..makes DYING more interesting..=)

Why am I so bold..and hmm..courageous you say??..well take a look at these verses.. and You'll know why..

"Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven...
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me.... Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven..."
(Matthew 5:1-12)

Dear Lord..
The situation I feared the most..has officially occurred..
Out of hate for your people.. out of disgust..just for using YOUR name..
But You have mentioned Lord..a time will come.. where Your people will be persecuted.. Where anti-Christ will go strong.. where even believers will doubt YOU!!..

But YOU Lord...are beyond description!!
Too marvellous for words..
Even the mountains bow down..even the storms calm down..
For unto YOUR promise..I'll cling on..
A life in abundance.. a life with NO REGRETS!!
A life with YOU!!..

Help me not to loose faith..
Help others.. to remember.. that YOU ARE GOD!!..
In Your own house..
I'll dwell..forever and ever..

"It is NO longer I who live..But Christ who lives in ME!!" ..
Good nite..and God bless

Thursday, January 7, 2010

new year resolution??


hehe.. I attended our second English Youth meeting a while ago.. and GOSH!! ..Kena ejek teruk-teruk wei!!.. Did my posts about those guys..sounded like I was really DESPERATE??..ish.. they were just cute!!..thats it!!..CASE CLOSED!! to be honest I didnt think anyone would actually wanna READ such LONG and LAME

Anyway..come on la people.. if you've been reading my blog for the pasts year.. CUTE guys..are just to PASs TIME only hehehe.. something to make my bored life..INTERESTING!!..hehe.. they are like the ingredient to bake a cake... eggs, sugar or floor... I only go for the cherry and CREAM.. ON TOP OF THE BAKED DELICIOUS CAKE!!.. in other words.. the BEST of the BEST with the WHOLE PACKAGE!!..=D

I was thinking of a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION..something like..NO MORE CUTE GUYS!! ..then I post on 1ST of JANUARY itself was about a cute really think its gonna work?? I thought so as well.. NOPE!!..not even in my dreams.. hehe..

So guess I'll stick with NO RESOLUTIONS this year..=D

p/s I really really really really wanna go for WYD next year!!..
but again Lord..
We may plan everything.. but You bring forth the results..
You know whats good and best for us..
You know what awaits us in future..
If it is Your will.. May it be done..
Whatever happens..
I know Your Love will never change..=)

Good nite..god bless

UTAR Finals!!

Last night..I had a dream... more like a nightmare.. I got my final semester results.. and this is what I had.. a B for MATHS IN BUSINESS AND SOCIAL SCIENCE..and a B- for SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY!!.. I was heart-broken.. woke up and felt like crying!! why cant I just do ONE thing that is RIGHT??!! mati-mati dissapointed!!.. cause my whole CGPA is gonna drop!!.. sigh.. But after waking up..I said.."Lord may your WILL be done.. not mine!!"

And just a few minutes ago.. My results came out.. I read it over and over again.. hehe.. this is what I got!!..

  • SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY.......................................................B+

I cant imagine my eyes!!..So to my saviour up there.. who made it all possible!! ..for to whom I'm dependent on..for EVERYTHING!!.. the air I breathe.. the words I write.. the beat of my heart.. the songs I sing.. the answers to my QUESTION!! Thank you Lord!!.. could'nt have done it without you!!

What an ENDING!! a hard year.. What a blessing in that wild storm.. What a joy to this mad soul..=D

But I know one person..whom wont be happy.. the most important person, whom I really really wanna share it with... MY MOM!! ..sigh.. All she'll why cant you get BOTH A's??

Nevermind..!! some other day maybe.. when I'm good enough for her..=)

But I'm out for a celebration!!...yippeee!!...anyone free??=p

Love is God..

It's been ages since I last checked my mail... Actually it's kinda receive all these forwarded messages.. Some could be like an answer to your many questions.. or maybe something you never came across..and give you the.."wow..that's true!!" kinda feeling.. and perhaps..some forwarded messages are simply to remind you off the things you've forgotten..=)

Love doesn't ask..
Who are you??..
Love only says..
You are mine..

Love doesn't ask..
Where are you from??
Love only says..
You live in my heart..

Love doesn't ask..
What do you do??
Love only says..
You make my heart smile..

Love doesn't ask..
Why are you far??
Love only says..
You are always with me..

Love doesn't ask..
Do you love me??
Love only says..

Love is like war..
Easy to begin but hard to end..
Love is Friendship...
Love is God...

Impressive how some people come up with brilliant quotes and poems.. and its even weird.. when you open it just in time..when you begin to question certain stuffs.. I dont think its a coincidence..=)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Have you been in a situation..whereby you tried to act 'cool'..but unfortunately it backfires and the opposite happens..hehe..

Well it happened to me this morning.. I was pretty early for my Public Speaking class.. and was reading the so-called notice board.. more like starring at it..for nothing there caught my attention.. when suddenly....hehehe..*jeng jeng jeng* spotted a guy..ok..a cute guy.. =p yeah..some big time SUSPENSE!!..hehe...and my hormones was getting all worked up..and of cause I acted as in..I saw no one.. like.."I'm not interested in you.." kinda thing..hehe ..I mean.. you dont wanna be to eager rite..he's gonna think your a freak or something then..hehe

He obviously didn't see me... so I entered the class.. and have no idea why in the world do I always choose the seat right under the AIRCOND!! ..after a few minutes I'll start shivering like I'm in north pole or something... by then I'll be tooo shy to get up and change to another warmer so I'll remain where I'm seated..hmmm

And coincidentally..or maybe God randomly chose that moment to relax a bit and have a laugh.. hehe.. He made the dude sat right NEXT TO ME!! side..I was going insane.. outside I was.."I don't care where you sit!!" lol.. I kononnya took out my note book.. and was too embarrassed to take out my pencil case which is a koala bear pencil what??..I love fluffy and huggable stuffs!!..=p.. so instead I just took out a pen.. and started scribbling something.. He went forward to get the paper..when I saw what was written at the back of his was a BIBLE VERSE..taken from the book of ROMANS...!! .. I smiled.. hmm..a Christian..=)

The seats in UCSI.. comes with a small table at the side.. and can be unfolded when not in use.. I was there..still scribbling on that empty sheet of paper.. I heard my phone vibrating..and the moment I took up my hand of the small table..DANG!!! there was a laud noise ..and my whole table got unfolded!! notebook with my papers everything fell down!!..damm!! I gave a silly smile..and consoled myself..saying.."it could happen to anyone.." ..and suddenly the cute guy handed me my paper.. I was like.."err thanks!!" ... didnt realise i dropped

That was still ok i guess.. and then.. the lecturer..started the class.. He was kinda funny.. I was readjusting my bag.. trust me.. I should have burnt that bag of mine..after school.. but I had no heart.. too many memories..and I like it!! Only it was a lil too big..just to fit in my umbrella and a couple of test pads.. hehe.. while re-adjusting it..DANG!!..IT FELL DOWN AGAIN!!..the table unfolded AGAIN!!..ohhh noooo!!..WHY DOES THIS KEEP ON HAPPENING TO ME!!?? ..I wanted to dig a grave and bury myself there and there... Everyone was starring at me.. sheesshh.. I'm officially not in good terms with UCSI's seats ANYMORE!! ... I could feel God watching from up there.. asking me.."How was it??" ..hehehe... I said.. "well at least I didnt break my CHAIR and tore my jeans!!" ..=P

Since I was not registered..and according to the lecturer..the class was FULL.. I'm sooo not gonna take PUBLIC SPEAKING for this I really hope I don't bump into that guy AGAIN!!.. no way, man!!.. =(

So basically that was the highlight in my second day.. I have a feeling my "CLUMSY-NESS" is never gonna leave me..even if I'm buried 6 feet underground..hehe..

hmmm...Clumsy..reminds me of the song 'CLUMSY' by fergie..

You got me trippin, stumblin..
Clumsy cause I'm falling in love..
You got me slippin, tumblin..
Clumsy cause I'm falling in love..
So in love with you..

But the girl is not in love..or is she??.. hmmm..nah not yet.. she would have notified me.. lol.. or can one fall in love without realizing it??..oh oh.. that's a danger zone!!.. lol.. Once she's in it.. she can't come out!!.. Then what am I to do??..

Yikes!!..what a strange

hehehe..sorry for the nonsense above.. I'm just waiting for.."according to him" ..

Good nite..and sweet dreams..

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

According to you

Seriously I'm not into the punk rock, rock or hip hop kinda music.. but this song.. the moment i heard the words..i was like wow..!! awesomeness..hehehe.. go and listen to it.. and the guitar..OMG you;ll LOVE IT!!!!..i know i did..hehe Orianthi is really wonder MJ chose be his guitarist...=)

The song's called ACCORDING TO Orianthi

According to you..
I'm stupid..
I'm useless..
I can't do anything right..
According to you..
I'm difficult..
Hard to please..
Forever changing my mind..

I'm a mess in a dress..
Can't show up on time..
Even if it would save my life..
According to you..
According to you..

But according to him..
I'm beautiful.. incredible
He can't get me out of his head..
According to him..
I'm funny...irresistible..
Everything he ever wanted..
Everything is opposite..
I don't feel like stopping it..
So baby tell me what I got to lose..
He's into me for everything I'm not..
According to you..

According to you..
I'm boring..
I'm moody..
You can't take me any place..
According to you..
I suck at..
telling jokes....

cause I always give it away..

I'm the girl with the worst attention span..
You're the boy who puts up with that..
According to you..
According to you..

But according to him..
I'm beautiful..incredible
He can't get me out of his head..
According to him..
I'm funny..irresistible...
Everything he ever wanted..
Everything is opposite..
I don't feel like stopping it..
So baby tell me what I got to lose..
He's into me for everything I'm not..
According to you..

I need to feel appreciated..
like I'm not hated..
Oh, no..
Why can't you see me through his eyes??
It's too bad you're making me dizzy..
According to me..
you're stupid..
you're useless..
you can't do anything right..

But according to him..
I'm beautiful..incredible..
He can't get me out of his head.
According to him..
I'm funny..irresistible..
Everything he ever wanted..
Everything is opposite..
I don't feel like stopping it..
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not..
According to you ..
According to you ..

According to you..
I'm stupid..
I'm useless..
I can't do anything right..

Cool huh?? I love it!!.. hehe.. the lyrics somehow fits me perfectly..hehehe.. only one thing is missing..the "him" ...hmmm..

hehe..but its ok.. I have a feeling he aint faraway..=)