So I learnt to trust..

So you missed me?! ..;p well, if you did, I apologize.. for as much as my fingers itched to blog..I simply cant find the time to do so. Cleaning, cleaning and cleaning..but nothing is really clean!! The carpenter guy kinda made it worse! ..=( and of cause, my line got disconnect as well due to the hammering and drilling.. lastly, Bernadette, my 6 year old cousin, was absolutely adorable..that she made sure I was no where near the computer!..and I actually pestered her TO NOT GROW UP! ..and she was close to tears because SHE WANTS TO GROW UP! She'll be whining and sighing..till I say "Yes, you can grow up!" ..lol.. I know, I can be such a bully sometime!

Sighhh...you may think I'm halfway out of mind.. but seriously if I had a choice I wish I'd never grow up..
Yes, I really really wish.. I never grew up!! ..sigh...

Anyway today was fun and probably one of the best weekend I've had so far.. Saw LIM after 2000+ years!! ..He looked the same.. crazy and skinny..flirty as usual! ..;p ;p .. Helena and Rosalind was there too! .. Helena, tall and talkative!! Rosalind, pretty and sweet!! ..Awesome-ness to core! I forgot when the last I laughed so much.. and I couldn't stop talking.. Food wasnt that great..but with great company anything kicks in! ..=) oh oh and we played poool!! ..woohoo.. and so she does not only kick balls into the goal post during futsal..but she hits them too!! ..right into the hole on the pool table!..;p ..LOL.. like seriously la k.. and I actually hit the last black ball in!! ..weeeeeee!! ..hehehe.. sorry sorry..  a bit over-excited d!! ..=)

And so I thought.. they are many many friends we may meet in this world.. but the ones who truly knows you in and out.. who doesnt mind if you make a fool out of yourself completely.. who has your back all the time.. whom you can trust completely seemed to be your high school mates! ...and here's the best part.. YOU NEVER RUN OUT OF TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT!! ..It just goes on and on.. and you can talk about anything and everything! ...hmm

Speaking of trust..I've realize something else today too..
How much do you give yourself the chance to trust someone??
Is there any certain period of time, till you can actually trust someone?
And if you tend to trust someone because they whisper words you wanted to hear.. whose fault is it?
And then you told yourself over and over again, "Don't trust!!" ...and then someone comes and changes your mind.. and you say, "Maybe, just maybe..this could be it!" ...and the same whole damm thing happens again.. what do you do??

Weird, just when you decided to trust the heart.. it decideds to take a wrong turn. And since it beats all logic and senses.. it is unable to see reality. And then you realize, aahh..maybe I should have used the "head" this time.. because the head might not see what the heart does.. but somehow it builds fences and walls around the heart as a protection..=)

And now we're back to square!! ..Why, is it always me.. I have no idea?! ..Perhaps the ONE above loves me more..and so HE keeps on playing HIS games with me ALL THE TIME! ..sigh.. I don't know why am I made so very fragile and then I keep on breaking all the time! .. Its seems logic to be strong and endure all things with courage and strength! ..But its a lil unfair to be breakable and having to face the same storm too!! ..hmm

Err ok, sorry for the EMO-ness.. well, you know me.. I can be hyped up and buried at the same time.. Well the thing is, sighhh.. I'm just not like everyone else out there you know,..='(

And so the answer all my questions.. I found this!! Perfect timing I tell you!..Read it till the end because it made me stand up again.. and face this world! and yes..it brought tears!

My Precious Daughter (A love letter from God to His Daughters)

My precious daughter,

I will never leave you,

I will never forsake you,

I will be faithful until the end,

You are more than just "my daughter"

You are my princess,

My beloved, my delight,

I rejoice in you,

You are beautiful,

You shine with light,

You have dove's eyes,

I rejoice in you with singing,

I will quiet you with my love,

Hold you in my arms,

Never let you go,

For you are never alone,

You never have been alone,

I've been with you all along,

Your whole life,

I understand your pain,

My sacrifice wasn't for nothing,

Let me tell you I understand your confusion,

I understand your anger and frustration,

I understand your tears,

And I care,

Very much,

For you,

Everything that is important to you,

Is important to me too,

My love for you will never end,

I will not leave you for another,

I will not abandon you ever,

No matter how far you go,

My love will never end.

I have examined you heart,

I know everything about you,

When you sit down or stand up,

I know your thoughts,

Even when you are far away,

I see you when you travel,

Or when you rest at home,

I see the tears that fall from your eyes,

I see the heartache in your home,

Believe me I know the lies,

I know the temptations,

But I am here,

I know what you are going to say,

Even before you say it.

I go before you and follow,

I place my hand of blessing on your head,

Such knowledge is beyond comprehension,

It is too wonderful for you to understand,

You can never escape from my Spirit,

You can never get away from my presence!

If you go up to heaven, I am there;

If you go down to the grave, I am there.

If you ride the wings of the morning,

If you dwell by the farthest oceans,

Even there my hand will guide you,

And my strength will support you.

You could ask the darkness to hide you,

And the light around you to become night,

But even in darkness you cannot hide from me,

To me night shine as day,

Darkness and light are the same to me,

I made all the delicate, inner parts of your body,

I made your heart,

I know what makes you hurt,

I know what makes you cry,

I know what makes you tick,

I know when breaks your heart the most,

And I know how to comfort you,

I know how to make you smile,

I know how to love you,

I know how to be a daddy who loves,

Such a beautiful daughter like you,

You long for acceptance,

When you were already accepted into my family,

You are fearfully and wonderfully made,

I love you more than you know,

I will fill your heart with the love and peace you long for,

I saw you before you were born,

I knit you together in your mother's womb,

Even then I loved you,

And I was proud of you,

And I thought of you as my beautiful daughter, my princess,

Everyday of your life is recorded in my book,

Every moment was laid out,

Every moment that would bring you joy,

Every moment that would bring you pain.

My thoughts about you are precious,

They cannot be numbered,

They out number the grains of sand,

And when you wake up in the morning,

I am still with you,

I love you more than you know,

You are beautiful to me,

Even though you feel something is always wrong,

Just look into my eyes,

See how I see you,

A beautiful princess,

With beautiful eyes that shine with my love and my light,

I love you,

And I will say it again,

I love you,

My princess, my beloved,

My precious daughter,

I love you,

I love you,

I love you.

Don't give up,

For I see the brokenness in your families,

In your friendships,

I see the pain in your eyes,

Your beautiful heart,

That used to be so filled joy,

Is now crushed beneath your burdens,

But you're still beautiful to me,

So beautiful to me,

I will heal you and restore you once again,

My precious daughter,

I will never leave you,

I will never forsake you,

I will be faithful until the end,

Faithful until the end...

Your loving Father and Daddy, Prince of Peace, King of Glory,

-Jesus.

And before I leave, Bernadetter was so eager to comb my so-called long black hair..and this is what she told me.. "if you go to the salloon, and change your hair to red colour, you'll look exactly like Princess Ariel, the mermaid!!" ...

weeeeeeeeeeee!! ...