I thirst..

Every year during lenten season, the archdiocese of Kuala Lumpur will organize the Lenten Youth Overnight vigil..I used to attend every year..of cause this year wouldn't be any different. And this year it was held in Our Lady Lourdes, Klang. =D

Wow...why am i being so formal?? Anyway..in Kajang it was raining heavily!!..Like really heavy..Gosh it has been sooo hot the last few weeks..and now suddenly it couldn't stop raining... I guess maybe it's cause of the lenten season..The nature is also in solidarity with those who suffer..and Him...

Finally we got together..Rina, Alma, Annusha and me...it has been ages.. since we last went for rallys, LSS, charasmatic and camps... the bus ride was awesome!!..don't know why was i so excited..lol..oklar..actually i know=p..but anyways.. we were cracking like really lame jokes..it was hillarious!!..total FUN!!!..was debating about the best school .and seriously Kajang High School is one the of the lamest school in Kajang..(this is for alma and john)..Kajang Convent comes after that..(for helen,christina and charlotte)... and Jalan Bukit..still ROCKs!!!!..no matter what they say..(right jacynta??..and nick plus calvin..) hehehe...kinda lame..but hey..they occupied the extra time we had..

Anyway can you believe it, we were like the latest to arrive??...so embarrassing..'turun pangkat' for HFC!!..=( when we arrived i was like..'you sure this is the church??' I've been here a few times..and i assure you it doesn't look like this..and guess what?? ..THE FREAKING DRIVER TOOK US TO THE WRONG CHURCH!!..it was some protestant church! as it is we were already late!..and nick and jon was blaming me...why am i always the scapegoat??..=( they said cause i was too excited..that we have reached..and that the driver overheard my joy!!..and so he stopped!!...what on earth???..haiz..

we rushed in...and of cause the best seats were taken..=( sat some corner at the back...
well..then started with praise and worship..kinda cool..=) and then had one talk..about some social thing..but have to admit..this year's talk was kinda boring..i mean..the speaker is very knowledgeable..but he should have put in a more understanding manner..and hello!!!..we are youths!!..Y-O-U-T-H-S!!! ..we need more laughter..more feeling..more excitement!!...one of the best speakers..mervyn!!..I don't mind listening to him talk the same thing..over and over again..cause it has a lot of impact on me..wow..the wonders God worked in my life..through this guy..is unexplainable..

and after that, the moment of my life arrived..to be honest..i have lost touch with God for a few weeks now..i never told this to anyone..but i tried my best..to get back in contact with him.. i blogged about him, i read the scriptures..everyday before starting my day.. and attending mass was like a routine..i was feeling-less..NUMB!! ...too many voices in my head..don't know which is true..which is not.. The songs i sang..i listened.. is just a song..for i can't mean every word i sang.. I just couldn't..i knew something was wrong..i just don't know what it is.. i used to talk to him..endlessly..now everytime i try..it just slips away..it wouldn't last..the longest maybe 3 days.. I don't have the spark anymore...

during taize prayer..it's an ancient prayer..where the hymns are in sung latin..and the same line is repeated for like about 20 times..and then..everyone who wants to..can go in front and light a candle near the crucifix...me and alma..went in front..but this time we didnt have any candle..so just went there and prayed..and for a moment i thought i felt something..I was prepared to give Him everything..and the next minute..I was numb again!!..I was giving up already..in seaching for Him..i got fed up!! and then michelle (marcus's sis) was on my right..while alma was on my left.. she reached for Alma..and told her..'God ask me to tell you this..:SEEK THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM!!...i stared at the crucifix..with a lump in my throat.. How in the world she knows???...but how??..gosh..i dont know!!..i wasn't able think!!..the words was running in my mind...over and over..i was speechless.. it wasn't only meant for Alma..but also for ME!!...and then it all made sense.. i was looking for Him..all this while..but i wasn't seeking for him..i wasn't longing for HIm..i wasn't thirsting for Him either..i was only taking Him for granted...going to Him..whenever i need him..

How wrong was i???...he literally sent me an angel..and told me that!!..How can i be so blind?? oH..GOD..HOW GREAT YOU ARE!! ...wonders He worked..!! AMEN!!..thank you for michelle..thank you for making that evening possible!!...

Ever heard of the welcoming home..in batu arang??..meant for all HIV patients.., migrant workers and refugees??..well we heard a testimonial..from a HIV patient..and i'm telling you..though he thinks that he has ruined his life..i can assure you..that he is doing a lot more than what i am doing..for in that 10 mins testimonial..he must have touched approximately 90% of the youths gathered there..just by having the courage to go up that stage and talk about his life..
well..he made a difference in my life...i am deeply moved..by his victory..of overcoming his illness..
We also had two testimonial from a migrant worker..and a refugee..

Basically...the theme for this year's vigil..is 'I THIRST!' ...we are here
enjoying our life..
complaining about not getting the latest handphone..
having take the public transport daily..
the food we eat is tasteless.
the number of assignments that we have to complete..
the house that is too small and warm..
the car that was damaged..
the streamyx is too slow..
the boring job daily..

but have we ever thought of them ..

who are unable to hear and speak..paralysed in bed, HIV patients?? who needs you to hear their cry..
who has to walk bare-footed..with sores and bruises under their feet?
who has to be satisfied with a handful of rice for lunch..?
who is not gifted to get the education that we are getting..?
who does not have a roof above their head..??
who is being treated unjustly..with low income..
who is suffering from loneliness..that is killing them softly..
who thirst for your love, your trust...and another chance..to start afresh??

For when He said..'I thirst' while hanging on the cross..he was actually thirsting for YOUR LOVE..YOUR TRUST IN HIM..FOR YOU YOURSELF!!...He was thirsting for you and me!!!.. the King...the creator..the great one!!...THIRST FOR YOU!! ..the one who crucified Him..who stoned his to death!!..the worthless sinner..HE IS LONGING FOR ME!!..and He doesn't care even if you sinned..He just wants you back in His arms..and is wiling to take you away..if you give Him the chance..
how in the world was i able to turn away from him???...

Gosh i can go on writting...non-stop..I'm just so gifted..that I'm a Catholic..and have a chance to know Christ..

Anyway...MAD..make a difference..is all He wants us to do this lent...and yeah..HFC youths are going to make a difference in Batu Arang this lent!!...

and then we had way of the cross...thumbs for the st anne's youth port klang!!..awesome sketch!!..it was so real.. and we ended with mass...though i was kinda sleepy..Fr george's sermon..manage to absorp in my mind..about the camel in zoo negara...and the camel in the desert!!..

we left klang...and this time all was tired to make jokes..too sleepy..but i can't sleep..thanks to nick!!..sleeping comfortably in my 'rocking chair' seat...but that wasn't the main reason why i couldn't sleep...Lolz...

i just can't stop thinking of the gummy-bear!!! ..=p