To HFC Youth Committee ;)

Ever experience the moment, where you feel, "that's it, its not gonna work out!" ...You break a cold sweat, despite the air-conditioned place, you feel your heart racing.. Your lungs is bloated, your mind is all over the place.. you try to not think about it, but then no matter how much try, it aint working..

Yes I experienced that today.. ;( And it was bad.. because I realized that, "Gosh, I should learn to take it easy!!" ...I think I got it from my mom. She panics very fast and so do I.

Anyway, do you realize that whenever you try your damnest to do something good, something else comes in the way and stop you?? ..The video was perfect when its viewed but when its projected its not how we want it to be, the table for registration was not set up yet and what if we can't get enough people?? What if the committee gives up last minute??.. what if this camp, which is suppose to bring us together, is breaking us apart??

So while sermon, which of cause I couldn't concentrate..since my mind was all over the place.. I started writing and questioning God..

Lord, why do you always do this?? Why do you always screw it all up, when we want to do something for you?? We are trying our very best. And then, you make us believe, "that the harvest is plentiful but the labourers are few,".. Yes it is few, but then why do you choose to 'test' these "few" ones as well?? Its not a good feeling you know, when you don't support us in what we are doing for you.. Its like we wrapped up this "gift" , so beautifully, straight from our heart.. and there and there, you say, "Its not enough!!" ..;(((

I'm sorry Lord, yes I may sound harsh, but that's exactly how I felt that moment..

After emo-ing and "merajuk-ing" with the Lord, He told me something that touched me through the song, "Yesus Panggil Saudara"..

"Yesus panggil saudara,
Menjadi anak-anaknya,
Yang berkorban dan setia,
Dan memuliakan Allahku..

"Yang berkorban and Setia!!" ..to be his Child, is to sacrifice and to be loyal..

Then I looked at the cross and a tiny voice whispered, "I died for you, got nailed on the cross for you, fell down thrice for you, got my head pierced with thorns for you, shed every drop of blood for you... I don't remember complaining.."

I laughed of cause... lol.. I laughed to myself..;)

Then I remembered about the SALT OF THE EARTH.. You are the salt of the earth, and if the salt looses its saltiness, then what difference does it make??  I chose you to be different..I made you strong enough to withstand every obstacle, every test, every challenges.. if you were to give up now, what difference would you make, compared to others? if you choose to let the devil get in your way, what difference would it make?? You would be the same as they are..Remember, I did not promise that life would be easy, but I promise you that I will be with you through it all..

And then I was like, "Wow, Lord, your like amazing!!" ..;p ;p Seriously..

So to HFC Committee, whatever happens.. its for the Lord!