CRAP!! ..this has to stop!... I know I have to get back my life together.. not to mention I almost gone blind last night.. I dont know is it because of starring at the laptop for tooo long.. or is it because of my contacts.. or perhaps because of the tears I shed..=(
alright alright.. I'll start from the beginning..
Yesterday.. my sis decided to make my life even more miserable than its already is.. seriously guys.. she's not the angel..you think she is!!.. she put me in trouble.. by telling my mom.. I've been reading novels..from laptop.. and my mom.. being the normal 'mom'.. gave me left and right.. she thought all this while.. I was reading my notes..
And my sis..cant really study at home.. so almost everyday she goes out.. either to MCD or STARBUCKS.. so yesterday..mom ask to take me with her.. well.. i thought it wasnt a bad idea.. I mean.. i need to start on Maths..whether I like it or not.. and me being in the same place as my laptop is.. is reallllyyy a bad idea..lol..so yeah..
We decided to go to SECRET RECIPE.. i've been craving for chocolate cake for a while already.. hehe ..and just when we were looking for the perfect place in METRO POINT ..lol.. guess what was going on?? A TALENT SHOW called..KAJANG STAR SEARCH!! ..hehe.. BERNADETTE should have been there..seriously..she would love it..and they ever had the sand art competition..=)
there kids were all adorable!!.. extremely.. gosh.. I could have kidnapped every single one of them.... but of cause..with my utter blurness..that's not really a good idea..hehe and I think all of them should have WON!! seriously.. though the song the sang was out of tune.. and the dance they danced.. the stories they read.. the piano they played.. WOW!! .. the BRAVERY ..was the one I truly admire in every single one of them.. to have the GUTS.. to walk out on that stage.. dressed sooooo adorably.. didnt matter if they made any mistakes.. or looked like a fool...but determined to win the hearts of the audience.. they all deserve much more than a trophy.. they truly WON my heart..=)
Anyway you could have imagined la.. how my "study" trip turned out.. hehe we chose the furthest place as possible.. but everytime I hear the MC said theres a performance coming up.. I will give a silly smile to my sis.. failing to fight the temptation miserably.. I would walk out of secret recipe.. to give my full support to the ones performing..hehe.. Come on.. These kids deserve credits k!!..lol
So while waiting for the result.. this chinese guy came up with his guitar.. the first song he sang was.."you're beautiful' by James Blunt.. I secretly kinda like this song.. esp the second verse.. not bad.. his voice.. really..=) and then the second song.. the moment I heard it.. MY heart skipped a beat.. my sister was like.."what song is this..and why are you soo worked out??" .. I was speechless.. I mean.. I didnt know anyone would know the song.. and to sing it there.. can't be a coincidence... But memories came rushing like a wind.. filling every single space of my mind.. leaving my visions blank.. My heart was in fury.. beating abnormally again.. too much to hold.. it started bleeding again I guess...=( I felt my eyes sting.. the next thing I new.. my cheeks was wet! I hate it!! I hate it sooooooo much!! .. why am i soooo weak??.. when will i get through it?? I know I will..i mean i have too.. but how long will it last??..sigh
I felt so sorry for my heart..for I've convinced it many time that "it's over" ..but it was like..the clouds..telling the earth.."I'll never dirty your ground again with my water.." something impossible.. something that I can't runnaway.. something I have to face..or else it'll haunt me.. for the rest of my life.. The guy kept on singing the song... with every word..piercing my heart like a sword..
Anyway..enough of DRAMAS!!..and lets cut the EMO crap k??.. i mean..its not over yet.. but i'll save it for later..lol..
So we came back.. went to PASAR MALAM.. after like 2000 years..hehe.. I've been eating a lot lately!!..i mean A LOT!! ..sigh.. all this emo crap.. has been leaving me side effects..lol
And after that.. I had an arugment with my mom.. and sooooo went back emo-ing.. and when I shed tears.. i tend to rub my eyes.. like nobody's business.. like a little child..it's been a habit.. been warned many times.. but no.. I never listen..until it hits me in the eye!!..lol.. i'll rub.. to stop the tears.. but does it ever work??..
and I was hurt... really hurt.. hehe.. like thats something new..=) so I started vomitting words.. to God.. I didnt have anyone else to turn to.. I just said everything I needed to say.. and trust me..ITS NOT A COINCIDENCE.. I found this FORGIVENESS prayer.. on my table.. next to my maths notes... And I said it.. meaning every word.. forgiving "i-cant-mention-the-name-here" ..=).. my mom.. forgiving my self.. and finally..I ASKED forgiveness from God.. to hurt him..just a while ago..=)
WOw what a relief that was!! ..I'll post that prayer next time k??..when I'm done..with all this exam crap..hmmm..
and errr.. i went straight to bed.. was kinda a tired.. since i didnt have my noon nap..hehe.. and my eyes.. my RIGHT eyes.. i was still rubbing it.. it was soo uncomfortable.. I got up looked at the mirror.. I my eyes.. was RED!! ..and it has SHRUNK!! ..twice the original size.. of my size.. I went to the living room..and told my sis.. "I think I did the biggest mistake of my life"..which I think was even bigger mistake telling her about my eyes..cause she was like.."eehhww... YOUR EYES!! .." i dont know what that expression suppose to mean.. lol.. thank God mom was in her room... and my sis started shouting.."MAAAAAA!! " .. i was like.."shhhhhhh...ENOUGH OF DAMAGE YOU DONE IN MY LIFE." ..lol..
I went back to my room.. but of cause.. will my sis ever listen?? she's the second biggest mistake in this world..after meof cause..lol..hey!!..see even in 'kutuk-ing' i'm giving her preferences..hehe ..my mom straight away came.. and asked..show me your eyes!! ..i said.."IM FINE!!" ...with my eyes closed.. when i opened it.. she was like.. started naggin.."I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUB YOUR EYES!!..now see what you did" ..but yes..it was HORRIBLE!! ..i looked like some alien.. it was soo uncomfortable.. there this slimy thing all over..i thought i hadnt remove my contacts.. but..I HAD REMOVED IT!! ...
I couldnt sleep after that.. I got up again.. looked at my eyes.. and it was SWELLING!! ..i was like.. ohh God!! ..
this morning.. swell was there.. though red-ness gone down a bit..sigh..
But i had it.. I'm never gonna rub my eyes again!!..sigh..
So yeah.. thats my emo story and my eye..=)
hehe.. ok ok.. that should do..i'd get back to studying maths..=)
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