dad 2

Since many asked about my dad...

Here's the story..
Last year.. my dad had this age old wound..that suddenly started aching terribly.. so he went to KPJ hospital..*next to ECON SAVE* ..and they said it was a CHRONIC ULCER..which if left untreated may transform into a TUMOR....

so about AUGUST last year...i think it was AUGUST 14.. he underwent a surgery to remove it.. but guess what??..after the surgery..it only made it WORST!!.. my dad was experiencing sleepless nitez..cause the pain was unbearable..=(

He went for all kinds of dressing..but still nothing cured the wound!!..so we took him to Universiti
Hospital..in PJ..and there they said..that their hospital..doesn't have that kinda treatment..and such..*yeah..why do you call it a hospital then??..*..grrr..so they referred us to UKM Hospital.. *at least they have the courteousy to do that..*..=)

Went there..UKM said..his vein was leaking!!..that explains the "swell" ..cause the blood can't seem to circulate to the whole body and it got clogged near his ankle..*that's where the wound is*..so they gave us 2 choices..either undergo another surgery..or wear a SOCKS!!..which worth about RM200..it was extremely tight..

So my dad..wanted the socks..not the SURGERY!!..but the problem was..since the outer layer of the wound..still hasn't heal yet!! so he can't wear the socks.. *dont know which nutcase suggested!*..sigh..

So went back..to UKM..and this time they said.."his valve is TOTALLY DAMAGED!!..and he has to go for surgery!!.." which in whole malaysia..only 2 hospital has that kinda surgery..KLGH AND UKM!!..so obviously went to UKM..before surgery.. they have to wait for outer part of the wound to heal.. for that they suggested the 4 FOLD BANDAGE..for 2 months every week..

That means every week he has to go to UKM..to do dressing..and change the bandage..which cost around RM70 bucks per week..

It was the second week..that Saturday..and suddenly my dad can't take the pain..so he opened it the bandage..and it was worst than anyone can ever imagine.. the wound WAS LETTING OUT AN AWFUL STENCH!!..like the smell that comes out of a dead animal!!.. i couldn't take it..and had to close my nose.. and the condition of the wound..O MY....like something ate the flesh from inside..there was a huge hole..and..his bones could almost be seen..*sobs..sobs*

I couldn't take it.. the smell..the sight.. the torture my old man went through..GOD!!..and my mom started.. "they made it even worst!!..it could turn into GANGERIN!!"..sigh.. i mean "these people were suppose to help!!" ..yikes..but..

that moment i felt so helpless.. didnt know who to turn too.. so thats why..i left a note in my blog.. and i requested for prayers.."where else do i go..when there's no where to go??" ..the word ..."GOD"..appeared very distinctly..

so i closed my room door..knelt down..and cried out.. all of a sudden..i was wrapped in "LONELINESS" ..it keep on coming to my mind.."I'm all alone..there's no one for me.. Lord, how can you do this to me.." ..and all past memories started pouring back..tears rolled down my cheek as usual..

At that moment..I tell you..when God is at work..the devil does the same!!.. he will do whatever it takes..to built walls against GOD!! but I'm like..what on earth...so i told the this tiny thought of mine.."nooo...i am NOT alone!!

I open my book called.."dear abba"..and found this letter..

Dear child,

Open the eyes of your heart and see me as I am..
I am the FATHER who longs to draw you near..
to comfort you with tenderness.
WHEN YOU ARE LONELY OR AFRAID..
to shield you with CARE when you CRY out to ME!!..
to shelter you and protect YOU..as an eagle protect its young..

Though this world is clouded with mixed messages and diluted commitments..
MY MESSAGE IS CLEAR!!..
MY COMMITMENT IS CERTAIN!!..
I LOVE YOU..YOU ARE MINE!!..

though human love is NOT ALWAYS CONSISTENT,
MY LOVe is as SURE as the SUNRISE!!..
I am here for you..and will be here..
THOUGH OTHERS MAY FORGET YOU, I NEVER WILL!!..
your name has been CARVED into the palms of my open hands..
and YOUR FACE is EVER before me..
You are my child..
Will you choose to believe that??..

Love,
Abba...

And..i was back to myself again!!...WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!...ready to face the world.. with a sword in my hand...lol..

had a great time yesterday.. with HFC youths!!..AWESOME people..though i know pretty much embarrassed myself most of the time..but who cares la.. it's better to be hated fOr who you are..than to be loved for who you're NOT!!..
love you ppl!!..

and btw..all that time..when i was kneeling..and praying on saturday nite..this image never left my mind..=)

take care..=)