anyway..I signed up for this 100 WEEKS BIBLE thingy in my church.. whereby you dissect the whole bible..left,right,front and back..hehehe.. which means you study the whole bible thoroughly.. for 2 years..
Today was my first class.. and we had group sharing.. which I don't really enjoy..but I don't mind doing it as well.. but I'm only facing one problem.. where all my group members are above 30!!..except for Mary Pat.. seriously..I was feeling extremely awkward.. Imagine, as it is I'm extremely shy to even talk to people my age.. and this..you want me to share my life stories..with complete strangers..who are at least 10 years older..hmmm..
Their way of thinking and perspective of life..is totally different!!.. Like for example.. my mom thinks all love stories are dumb!!.. esp VAARNAM AAYIRAM!!.. and i was like.."Ma, you should start getting a life!!" ..lol.. she gave me the..'how-dare-you-talk-to-me-like-that"..kinda look..hehehe
I mean you see where am I getting to??.. how can all love stories be dumb??..yes, some are extremely absurd.. but there are some that deserves credit as well!!.. the one that gives you the "WOW" feeling at the end.. apparently my mom in stoned!!..lol.. not to say emotion-less... but yeah..she takes the movie as she sees it.. If you ask me..when you see a movie.. don't just see it from the world's eyes..but see it through the actors and actresses eyes.. then maybe the movie will totally change your perspective.. like "what would I do..if I was in that situation??"..
Ok ok..enough of my nonsense..lets get back to my story..
So there was I seated in that chair.. listening..and trying my best to pay attention..while my mind was restless..thinking what in the world am I gonna say about this particular verse that touched me??...genesis 2:18.. I already had something in mind.. but was thinking twice whether to say it or not. This people have gone through so many in life..and I just started mine.. they're gonna think.. "aah foolish little girl..still have so much to learn.."
But unfortunately the need to say it out laud was even stronger that the feeling of getting highly embarrassed..
So yeah..I shared..what's on my mind..and daymmm.. I dont know why.. every time I shared about the wonders of GOD in my life..I'll tear..EVERY TIME!!..yes.. even just now.. sigh.. I could feel my eyes stinging..and in my heart i said.."OHH SH!T!!..not now..please..i beg of you.." ..and I know I had to stop talking..before it gets worse.. holding my tears back..I said a prayer.. and ended it.. and complimented my self.."your good!!" ..hehehee..
But anyway sometimes.. it's better to open up to strangers.. course they have got no idea..who you are.. what you're going through.. or what you should be doing... they simply don't judge you.. and it's great!!..really.. when one does not judge you..through your flaws and failures.. unfortunately it gets worse..when the person that judges you.. should be the last person on earth to do so!!
sigh..
To my dearest mom, you won't be reading this..but I'm sorry I can't be perfect..='(
ok ok..enough of emo-ing..but what I wanted to say..was..
Lord..I couldn't thank you enough for this life!!..Amen!!
have a nice day!!..
p/s..CUPCAKES LATER!!..WEEEEEEEEEEE!!
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