Dear Abba

I just came back from charismatic.. And during praise and worship.. linda who was leading..kept on looking at me.. no idea why.. it was wonderful.. praising God..for everything that has happen.. for accepting me back.. =)

And after charismatic..linda came and asked me.. "are you ok??" ...i was like.."why??" ..i mean.. I was a bit troubled.. but didn't know it was obvious.. and then she asked me.. "do you wanna lead praise and worship??" ..my heart almost came out.. puzzled at the question she asked.. curious at the answer I was going to give..

To be honest.. I always wanted to lead praise and worship.. but didn't have the guts to do it.. and she came and asked ME!!..the one who almost threw up cause of a 5 minutes speech..or any presentation.. the shy one..who never dare go forward and state what she thinks!!.. of all persons..WHY ME?? ..she could have asked.. Rozanne or Charlotte.. But she choose me.. WHY??!! ..and why did she ask me NOW?? ..when I'm willing to surrender everything to God.. why didnt she ask me..before this..??

Dear Abba Father..

I have no idea of the plans you have for me.. I have no idea how is my life going to turn out.. I have no idea if i have the strength to can carry out Your will..like you have planned me to do so.. I have no idea why I did the things I did today.. I have no idea..why am I still willing to smile..though it hurts..

Then I realize.. all you want me to do..is TRUST!! ..
trust in You..to take control of my life.. For it is no longer I who live..but YOU!! ..only you!!
trust in You..that you have everything planned ahead for me.. and all I need to do is SMILE!!
trust in YOU..that you will keep your promises.. to soar on wings like eagles..
trust in You..that though it hurts badly..something good is coming from it..
trust in YOU..that even if I was left out in the dumpster..cold and alone.. You're still there to carry me on Your wings..and mend this broken heart of mine..

Today Lord, I commit this heart and soul of mine..to Thy hands..that created me.. It might be a bit messed up..but it has been cured..has been healed.. by just one touch of Your breath!! .. and it is willing to serve.. to serve YOu..and your people.. it is willing to LET GO everything.. if that's what You're asking.. I'm ready to be YOURS FOREVER..

But Father.. I have to remind you..I am a sinner.. been a sinner all my life.. so please.. Help me.. help me do the right thing.. If you think I'm the right person..then by all means.. I want to carry the cross on my shoulders..=) ..

Thank you Lord..for allowing me to experience this miracle.. I couldn't ask for anything more..

p/s MAY YOUR WILL BE DONE!!..NOT MINE..

Love
Your daughter

I couldnt get this out of my mind..

Lamb of God..we worship you..
Holy One..we worship you..
Bread of life..we worship you..
Emmanuel..we worship you

Jesus loves you..!! good nite!!